


My Faerie Queen Anne

by GilbertsMangoes



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Inspired by Taylor Swift, LGBTQ Female Character, Letters, No Smut, Tags Are Hard, hopefully happy endings??, it gets angsty, just them being hopelessly in love, listen to the songs in the titles!, lots of fluff, might be relationship trouble, we are clean babies here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 39
Words: 88,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24079075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GilbertsMangoes/pseuds/GilbertsMangoes
Summary: Since CDC is utterly reprehensible and decided not to renew our beloved Anne with an E, I did it myself. This is a post season three fic that follows them through university.Anne and Gilbert have just now worked out their feelings for each other with a romantic farewell, leaving each other hundreds of miles apart for a hefty portion of the year, but together in soul.  Through love letters, visitations, and a healthy dose of misunderstandings and make ups, follow our favorite couple as they make their way through life."You, Anne, drove me to the point of insanity with your angelic hands that trailed down my undeserving face and doll like body in that dress that made you look like an angel come down to bless my unworthy lips with your sweet kiss. I know you've longed to be Princess Cordelia all your life, but I prefer you as Anne, my beautiful woodland fairy, queen of the moors and my heart, with the sunset red waves and shining ice blue eyes."
Relationships: Diana Barry/Jerry Baynard, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Josie Pye/Original Male Character(s), Ruby Gillis/Moody Spurgeon MacPherson
Comments: 179
Kudos: 384





	1. Daylight

**_I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden. Like daylight... I've been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night and now I see daylight._**

**_-Taylor Swift_ **

_Dearest Gilbert,_

_I look like my mother…_

_Every freckle on my milky white complexion, every strand of my dratted red hair, it was from her. Furthermore, she was a teacher, Gilbert! As I ponder it, I feel her very presence in this room. I like to imagine that she’s standing above me now, running her hands through my hair and humming a song in the most motherly of fashions. Perhaps she’s been here with me all along, silently guiding my way to you. Maybe you’re the Walter to this Bertha, my darling..._

_My lamentable freckles and ghoulish hair seem more bearable now, to know that it’s a piece of her that will always remain with me. We found this out through a book, The Language of Flowers. There was a stunning portrait of my mother from the hand of my father. How it thrills me to think that every time that I run my hand across the smooth page, I am touching where my father has laid his hand almost seventeen years ago! Maybe I’ll always be Carrots (your Carrots, may I add), but I like to imagine that my mother’s hair was more the bright, contrasting color of rose petals on the snow, elegant and stunning. Even though I adore Marilla and Matthew with all of my being, it gives me great joy to know that I was loved. That I still am loved._

_Enough about me, now. I still cannot believe the events that have transpired have led me to you! I can scarcely believe that you, the pride and joy of Avonlea, could ever have romantic feelings for me. Me, who used to be a lone, abused orphan. The fact that you chose me, a young, inexperienced, plain orphan girl over Winifred, such a prepossessing, poised, wealthy woman is something I’ll never quite fathom, though I’m the happiest girl in the world. You were the highlight of my day, no doubt. That kiss, it was much greater than anything I’ve ever experienced._

_Gilbert, I still do not understand your decisions. Though I will forever be indebted to you for making me the most joyous woman on PEI, the Sorbonne was your dream. I can’t help but feel that you’re giving up something to be with me. Winifred was the pathway to all you’ve ever wanted and I took that away._

_Speaking of Winifred, I owe everything to her. To think that our realization was through the very woman you left to be with a plain girl like me! That chance encounter made my life better in ways that even I can’t explain. I admit that her telling me about the engagement being called off was the first time I had heard about it. Your letter’s contents may have been… misunderstood by an unfortunate turn of events. And my beloved Diana, I would give her the world on one of her own pure silver platters for what she did. It’s ever so unfortunate that you didn’t get my letter before we left Avonlea, perhaps we would’ve gotten more time to say our farewells, but I still thank the good Lord every minute for allowing me to be with you._

_Which brings me to the next topic; our reunion. Gilbert, that moment was one of the few things that could not be improved on by the imagination! It was a piece of the heavens, brought down to us two young souls. The way you wrapped your hands around my hips, the tender gentleness of your lips on mine, the feeling of your soft skin, it made me feel in ways that it would be improper and quite scandalous to describe to you. I think I shall go on a walk now, the room is starting to feel a lot warmer._

_Darling Gilbert, now that I have cooled down, I have a question for you._

_Are we… courting? I do not ask to be forward nor desperate, but I long to know how you feel, if you still feel the same way. I don’t doubt that there are many beautiful women in Toronto, mayhaps with beautiful honey colored hair or dark raven curls with eyes the color of fresh earth. If you’d still want this homely orphan who spends her time reading and writing love letters to you, I’m yours, Gilbert. I’d forever be yours._

_I have to admit, I would’ve accepted you and Winifred if it meant your happiness. All I want, all I’ve ever wanted was your happiness._

_I’ve always longed for a tragical romance, but I think the events of recent have steered my path away from it. I don’t long for it anymore, I only long for you. Having a tragical romance means losing you and never in a million years would I wish to lose you, no after just finding you. Already, you are my world. I wish you were here right now. I hope everything is well in Toronto. Surely, you are revolutionizing the big city already!_

_All my regards,  
Anne_

Gilbert got Anne’s first letter a week after he arrived at the University. The first thing he’d done after every day was go and check the mail room if anything had arrived for him. Today, Anne’s scrawling cursive looked like art on the envelope. He could hardly wait to get back to his boarding room and open it. 

He sat down on an armchair. His roommates were out in celebration of their first week being completed, but he chose to stay behind. The letter was a page long and he read it voraciously, appreciating every spot of ink that had come from Anne’s hand, every blot of ink where her hand had hovered and thought of what to write. Making sure no one was around to see, he kissed the spot where she had written her name and he could almost feel the ghost of the sensation of her pink lips on his own. Going to his desk, he began to write to her, putting all that he wanted to tell her down on paper, except for one thing that he wanted to tell her in person.

_My dearest Anne,_

_I miss you like the moon misses the sun, destined to chase it till the end of time. I wish I were kissing you instead of missing you, to be abrupt. I long for you here. I hear the other boys talking about all the girls in the University’s teaching and secretarial programs, hollering at them even, but rest assured, the only girl who has ever and will ever have my heart is you, my darling Anne. no matter the color or texture of their hair. How could I long for someone with brown eyes when your eyes look like two shining gemstones? How could I value dirt over diamonds or honey over the sunset?_

_I’m ecstatic that you’ve finally found your roots! I’m also glad you feel differently about your hair and freckles, which are not at all ghastly or drab, despite your qualms about them. I love every single thing about you, up from your eyes like the ocean after a wild storm down to your perfect feet that have explored every inch of forest in Avonlea, ESPECIALLY your hair like a sunset and freckles like stars on a clear night. And you’re right. You’ll always be MY Carrots. As for being loved, you’ll never have to worry about lacking in that department._

_I understand what you feel about your mother. Sometimes, when I feel all alone in this world, I hear my father’s voice telling me that it’ll be alright. Now, I feel his proud gaze from heaven upon me. He’d always wanted me to go beyond PEI and here I am, on my way to being Dr. Blythe and writing to the very girl that he’d sworn that I was in love with. Your mother would be extraordinarily proud of you, I know it. You’ve come such a long way since you first moved to Avonlea. We both have. Who would’ve thought that two orphans, both so different yet so much the same, would’ve found companionship in each other?_

_As for your question about the Sorbonne, why would I give up the one thing I’ve always wanted for you? The answer is, my lovely Anne-girl, that you are all I’ve ever wanted and more. U of T is a magnificent school and I’ve been gifted your heart in the process, which is the best part. Getting married to Winnie would mean 4 years at a good school, but a lifetime of sorrow thinking over what could’ve been. As I ponder more over it, I think that I was fooling myself into loving Winnie as I tried to wean myself off of adoring you. I enjoyed our exploits, but I thought of her as a sister figure more than a wife. We would have grown to hate each other and she deserved someone who would worship the ground she walked on, as I do with you._

_I don’t understand why you’re surprised that I chose you over Winifred. Aren’t you just as winsome as she could ever be, if not more? Your intellect is far beyond anyone I’ve ever met, your beauty surpassing hers by miles. You’re like a rose flower amongst weeds; Different, but by far the most stunning. You’re the most P U L C H R I T U D I N O U S woman I’ve ever met. And although I am grateful to Winnie and Diana for bringing us together sooner rather than later, I believe that somehow we would’ve found our way to each other nevertheless. I’ve learned over the years that in some way, if God wants things to happen, they happen. How else do you explain our three year game of cat and mouse?_

_You claim that I wouldn’t know the intense rush of feeling that came with our passionate embrace, but you claimed wrong. Sorry to make it yet another argument between us, but you would never understand the feeling that coursed through every vein in my body. You, Anne, drove me to the point of insanity with your angelic hands that trailed down my undeserving face and doll like body in that dress that made you look like an angel come down to bless my unworthy lips with your sweet kiss. I know you’ve longed to be Princess Cordelia all your life, but I prefer you as Anne, my beautiful woodland fairy, queen of the moors and my heart, with the sunset red waves and shining ice blue eyes. How I enjoyed finally getting to run my hands through your soft and thick locks as I’d imagined for so long._

_Forgive me for being so lascivious, my darling. You deserve nothing but respect, but I can’t help but reveal myself to you. You could expose all my darkest secrets with nothing but one of your enchanting smiles._

_As for your second question, it would make me the happiest fellow on Earth if I could be called your beau, my faerie Queen Anne. I’m with you till the end of the line, if you’ll have me. I’m so pleased that you asked me. In fact, I humbly beseech you to let me shout it off the roof tops, tell each and every person that I meet that Miss Anne Shirley Cuthbert is mine and that I am hers. Although, I presume that telling Mrs. Lynde would be almost the same thing._

_Life here is good, the only thing it’s missing is you, of course. I share a room with two other boys, Zachary and Alexander. Alex is a nice bloke, playful and down to Earth. We get on quite well and he is what you’d call a kindred spirit. He’s from Britain, a rich London family, distantly related to the Barrys, actually. Zach is a bit of a snob with archaic beliefs that you would scoff upon, but I try to be civil._

_The dorm is tidy and cozy, though it doesn’t feel much like home because you aren’t here to nag me about my spelling. Alex has had his gramophone mailed here, so it’s nice to listen to some music once in a while._

_Classes just started and I’m doing well. Forgive me sounding arrogant, but I’m surprised that the work is quite challenging. I’m glad, though. I have academically equal peers here. I can’t help but thinking that you probably would’ve thrived in the teaching program here. I’ve heard glowing reviews about it. But never mind me, how are you? I trust Queens is going alright? Perhaps you’ll get the Avery scholarship at the end of all this. I wouldn’t be surprised, my brilliant Anne-girl._

_Give the other girls my regards and ask Moody if he’s finally made a move on Ruby. Tell Charlie that I miss his companionship._

_Again, I have to express my absolute adoration of you, Anne. I can barely get through a day without wishing you were by my side. You are by far, my favorite person in this magnificent, gracious world. Hopefully, our romance won’t be a tragical one, but rather one for the ages. My heart belongs to you and only you. You are the target of all my affection, my Anne with an E._

_Your lecherous sweetheart,  
Gilbert_

Anne clutched the piece of paper to her chest, smiling and blushing at his flattering words. She closed her eyes and held it there, as if she could soak up all the affection in the letter in her heart. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his handsome smiling face and her lips tingled with the sweet remembrance of the kisses they had shared.

“Gilbert?” Diana asked from behind her, knowingly. Ruby sat beside her, giggling. Ruby’s schoolgirl crush was a thing of the past now, having eyes only for a certain tall, dark, handsome, and clumsy pastoral studies major. 

“Mmhmm,” Anne nodded shyly. Ruby all but spasmed with excitement at Anne’s blushing pink cheeks. Anne flashed back to their old story club where she and her two closest friends would share all their secrets, though nobody in the world could be closer to her than Diana.

“Oh, how romantic! To have a beau! It’s so funny how I had fantasized so long about courting Gilbert and now Moody and I are gone over each other.”

“It truly is,” Anne agreed. “I’m glad Moody finally got over himself and asked you, Ruby.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss I Didn’t Acknowledge My Love For Gilbert For Three Years!” Diana remarked. Anne rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless.

“Maybe it’ll be Mrs soon!” Ruby squealed. 

“It’s too soon for that. It’s only been two weeks of letters!” Anne brushed the idea off, but she couldn’t ignore the heat crawling up to her cheeks.

“Oh, we’re almost late for our next class!” Diana exclaimed. The three friends got up and started for their next class together, happy, and Anne loved her friends.

Anne loved her friends, but there was someone missing.


	2. Paper Rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions about friends and the future. Gilbert makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! Please, don't be a silent reader. Constructive criticism is welcomed! Do you like their interaction? 
> 
> If you're starved for in person interaction, just wait till next chapter. ;)

**_I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings  
Uh huh, that's right  
Darling, you're the one I want_**

**_-Taylor Swift_ **

_Dearest Gil,_

_Oh, how your last letter made me blush! I could barely contain myself reading it, though Diana and Ruby were in my presence. They immediately guessed that it was from you and I was brought back to that time where I explained to Marilla that there was nothing romantical about your letter from Trinidad at all. Oh, how the tables have turned!_

_Your lascivity is something that I do not mind, to be completely honest. Marilla was showing me some of her old things and I came across some letters from an old lover of hers and you will not believe what I found! Our parents were courting when they were our age, dearest! It seems as if the universe had to separate them so that we might be together. It's so perfect, and I've found that your father was just as, if not more risquè, than you in regards to his love letters. I've found that Marilla used to be a spritely and intrepid woman when she was young. Isn't it tragical? A maiden's lively spirit ruined by the perils of a most untimely death and a scandalous romance._

_Anyways, wouldn't it be a fright if our children were to find these? Or Marilla? They'd jump out of their own skins! I was hoping to give them something to titter about after we're gone..._

_Gilbert, life here in Charlottetown is a thrill. All my loveliest relations(except you) are close to me now. It has such freedom(except for Mrs. Blackmore's rules, she was christened 'Mang' by Jane and Ruby). Being a college girl fills my heart with such joy and the campus has such scope for the imagination, but I cannot help but feel that something is missing without you. Every time I go to English class, my heart can't help but wring in its cavity(is that what it is called?) when I'm not met with your infuriating yet adorable smirk every time either one of us answers a question. I miss that smirk more than life nowadays, imagining your dark lips upturning, hazel eyes that look almost like emeralds in the sun light filling with playful teasing, light glinting off your enrapturing shiny dark curls. I could just die thinking about it, Gil! How ever shall I live till Thanksgiving in October without you? Even then, you'd be able to stay for only a day and that makes my heart ache!_

_Darling Gilbert, do you really find me so splendid as to be your faerie queen? Never would I have imagined in my most fantastical dreams that you, Gilbert Blythe, the crush of every girl in Avonlea, would be calling the plain and homely orphan next door 'your' anything, yet alone a mystical fairy queen. Princess Cordelia is a mere palace handmaiden compared to Faerie Queen Anne, the wise and imaginative ruler of the Canadian Faerieland with her partner and life mate, King Gilbert, by her side always. It's a rather nice fantasy, if you don't mind me saying._

_I am also pleased to inform you that I think that one of my professors, Mrs. Aimee, is most definitely a kindred spirit. She's moved me up to her advanced creative writing class that is usually for her second year students and I'm having a splendid time! She's given me names of magazines that I might be interested in submitting stories for and thanks to you, I have the most perfect idea! Queen Annabella, the venturesome queen of the moors and faerieland, has been a sage and solitary ruler for years, never succumbing to the temptations of love. But all of a sudden, King Gilberto from the neighboring kingdom wanders into her life, stealing his way into her heart. That's all I've written so far. It's based off of personal experience, can you tell?_

_I do give you permission to tell Mrs. Lynde or scream it off the roof top, whatever pleases you, but I do beg of you to be gentle. I am just bracing myself for the unbecoming gossip that will inevitably buzz around the town. Why did the eligible young man break things off with the rich and charming debutante for the skinny orphan, they'd ask? Did she seduce him, perhaps? Maybe her heathen ways have corrupted him also! Despite your insistence, I too ask myself these questions._

_By the way, Diana sends her love and says that she is not sorry for the scene she caused on the train because according to her, I've been "glowing radiantly" ever since our little scene outside the boarding house. Moody only blushed and mumbled a bashful 'Yes' to your question, I know that Ruby loves him senseless, and Charlie sends his regards. Truthfully, I'm a little surprised that you are still on good terms with Charlie after his advances on me just two weeks ago! I refused, of course. My heart belongs to you and you only. My kiss shan't touch the lips of anyone but you._

_I must admit that I have a Gilbert sized hole in my heart, my dearest. You were such a momentous part of my life and I didn't realize it until you left for the big city, leaving us small town folk behind. I ask one thing of you, Gilbert. When you are a world renowned doctor(very global and bookish, as you would say) please, remember me somewhere in the back of your mind, for you shall forever have a very special place in my heart. I know I'm not much of a proper lady, but I adore you like no other. I don't want sunbursts or marble halls, my dearest, I just want you. I adore shiny jewelry, but I'd trade all of it in the world to have you here._

_I know it isn't a proper conversation for a letter or this soon, but have you ever thought of the future? I've been pondering over it, but don't be alarmed. Both of us have lives that need to be attended to before we even think of what lies before us. Now, I will treasure the memory of your handsome face and charming smile until I get to see you again in October. By the time you get this, it will be 2 weeks until I will get to see you!_

_It is not so long, but long enough for my heart to be breaking right now. I cannot count how many times I've gotten the urge to drop everything and get on the nearest train to Toronto, to finally be with you and kiss you. Surely, it would be the only thing to distract me from these long nights. I keep trying to remind myself that I'll be alright with you, and I will(don't worry about me!) but it seems as if I've waited my whole life to find someone like you and fate has so cruelly torn us apart._

_Also, I'm positively enraged at myself for not talking to Winifred when you were courting her! I went to make amends with her before she left for Paris and she is definitely a kindred spirit. I've always admired educated women and Winnie is the epitome of everything I would like to be one day. We had a rather interesting conversation over tea about books, college, and the perils of romance. We sat at the very table that you sat at. It's foolish, but I couldn't help but run my fingers over the chair that you sat at, wishing that it was your hand that I was holding instead._

_Anyways, I hope you are doing alright, my faerie king. Please update me on the going ons at your school!_

_Yours forever and always,_

_Anne_

Gilbert smiled at the letter and concealed it in the special engraved box that he had designated for his kindhearted Anne's letters, wanting to read it later so as to not disrespect his company.

"Who's that from?" the woman beside him asked. Christine, his new friend, was sitting back in her chair with her textbook propped up against the wall, not a hair of her complicated updo out of place nor a fold of her rippling violet dress wrinkled.

"Anne. She's my... sweetheart from back home," he replied. Christine seemed to mellow, frowning slightly.

"Oh," she said innocently. "For someone as handsome as you, she must be astoundingly beautiful... or rich." She touched his hand as she did so, though Gilbert didn't notice, ever oblivious to the girl's advances, having eyes for only one woman.

"She is," he replied, ignoring her flirtatious compliment. "Not very rich, but beautiful. The most beautiful." Christine rolled her eyes when he wasn't looking. How could anyone be more beautiful than her? Christine Stuart, beauty queen of Halifax and darling of everyone that crossed her path? The one time she had been intrigued about a boy that seemed smart, handsome, and wealthy(her suitors were usually only one or two of the three) and he was taken!

"What does she look like?" she queried, suppressing the scorn and venom in her tone for this girl.

"It's hard to describe her without excluding some part of her beauty," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Here, I've had a portrait made of her." He took a small picture out of his front shirt pocket and Catherine could've wept right then and there, not that he'd bother about her much with the way he spoke about her. She was a red head! A red head for crying out loud! He preferred her ginger waves to her flowing jet black ringlets! Her wide blue eyes to Catherine's indigo cat eyes. Her form was admittedly taller and more filled out than Catherine's and her nose was a dainty and regally upturned button nose, but Catherine was tan and rosy, not dreadfully pale and freckled!

"She's... something alright," she commented, doing a dreadful job of hiding her supercilious condescension, though Gilbert was too love struck by this Anne to see it. "What... interesting hair."

He chuckled, running a finger over the smooth finish of the picture. "My Carrots," he sighed, a wistful and ruminant expression clear on his face. "I miss her terribly, you know."

It was evident he was thinking about her now, so Christine got up from the cushiony armchair abruptly, resolving to come back tomorrow. She'd win him over some day. "I should go. I'll see you tomorrow, Gil?" She smiled sickly sweet at him, flashing her pearly white teeth. He shifted uncomfortably; Nobody but Anne called him that.

"See you..." he trailed off, having the foreboding sense that something was a little bit amiss with his new friend.

________________________________

_My darling Anne,_

_It was so nice hearing from you. Every time I read your letters, I can almost hear your clear and sweet voice, the object of all my attention in a crowded room. I do hope you consider this letter romantical, or I'd have to make it romantical and I don't think any of our successors would be very pleased reading what I have to say._

_Anne, I don't mean to push anything on you, but I couldn't help but notice how you wrote 'our children' when referring to our parents' letters. You also seemed to have a preconceived notion that I will part ways with you and forget you. Since you are so mistaken, let me clarify, my faerie queen. You have my unwavering devotion and there is no possible way I could ever forget you. If you would ever consider a future with the likes of me, (who is completely undeserving of your affection) my bared open heart is yours to keep forever. It's only been a month, I know, but I had to make sure that you know that I would never consider anybody else except you, my Anne with an E._

_All this to say, my Anne, that I'm in. I'm all in._

_My father and your mother. Who would've known? I guess the universe just had to unite the Blythes and Cuthberts once more, hopefully this time for good. If you'd like, I can certainly be more salacious in my letters, but I'll refrain for now. I want to save making you blush for when I'm finally with you so I can enjoy being with you in all your rosy cheeked, red haired glory._

_This is the first I'm hearing of any developments with Charlie Sloane? Please remind me to give him a punch, I mean, talking to the next time I see him. How could anyone make advances on my Anne-girl so shamelessly? No matter, you said no so I shouldn't be concerned, should I?_

_I've made good friends here. Alex and I are particularly close and he will probably come down to PEI with me for the holidays since all of his family is in England. Another friend of mine is a lady named Christine. She's actually a medical major and very bright. She's a year older than you and very pleasant company to have an intellectual discussion with over a cup of tea. We study together often._

_I can certainly tell that this story is based on us and I'm flattered that you think me important enough to write one of your transcendent stories about._

_I'll keep this letter short, as I am currently about to pack for next weekend's festivities. I cannot wait to see you._

_Suffice to say, I am smitten with you, Anne Shirley Cuthbert. You make my heart beat at a million times a minute in my pericardial cavity(that's where the heart is located)._

_With unwavering devotion,_

_Gilbert Blythe_


	3. You Are In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert and Anne reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but the chapter is longer!

_You can hear it in the silence, silence, you  
You can feel it on the way home, way home, you  
You can see it with the lights out, lights out  
You are in love, true love_

Anne waited eagerly at Charlottetown train station at 12 AM. It was late and Gilbert had sent her a telegram that he'd ride home himself, but she wanted to be the first person that he saw when he unboarded. Aunt Josephine was hosting them for the night until she and all her friends could leave for Avonlea the next morning. Gilbert could only stay a day, but she was excited nevertheless. Her hands trembled and stomach fluttered with those dratted butterflies when she thought of getting to hold his warm and muscular hand in hers again.

She wrung her hands against each other, tugging at her dress to make sure she looked presentable. She hadn't the foggiest why she was so flurried to see him. He was just her Gilbert, after all. Perhaps that was it. Perhaps the idea that now he was her Gilbert made her as queasy as she was now. Would things change between them? There would definitely be a lot more kissing, but fundamentally, would they lose the easy and honest friendship they kept up all these years? Would they still have their witty and admittedly enjoyable banter, or would they be expected to act proper and dignified with each other? She brushed off the worrisome thoughts, knowing that Gilbert would understand that she'd never done this before, even if he had.

She heard the chugging of the train before she saw it. A smile spread across her face as the jet black monstrosity pulled in, the only thing separating her and her lover now. As people started to dismount, she searched frantically for the expressive hazel eyes that she'd yearned for so much.

And then she saw him. He looked fatigued after the 16 hour train journey, but he was still so distinctly Gilbert, the same boy she had so intensely fallen for. His hair had grown out a bit and his skin had lightened just a bit from not having to do farm work out in the burning sun and his skin had a healthier glow from the lack of hard physical work, but he looked like Prince Charming to Anne.

He met her eye and for a moment, all was still. Anne relinquished the bag that she had in tow and ran towards him, not minding a mite that people were watching. Any and all apprehension had escaped her. He too dropped the suitcase and ran towards her, them uniting in the middle, embracing tightly, Anne's frail arms grasping Gilbert with unexpected strength. Gilbert picked her up and spun her around, her squealing in surprised delight. They continued to hug, Gilbert's hands on her waist pulling her closer. Her hands were around his neck, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder, breathing in the scent of apples and pine that she had missed so much.

Gilbert unwillingly pulled away, cupping the curve of her face with his right hand tenderly, looking deep into her round baby blue eyes. And there was that look again, the one reserved especially for her. It wasn't much to other people, but to her, it was the entire world. She saw enough in his eyes to know that he cared for her and that was enough, all she'd ever wanted was for someone to care for her the way her Gilbert did.

She was just as he remembered her, somehow even more gorgeous when she was here in person with him. He had missed everything about her, up from her waving tendrils of golden copper hair to her frail and delicate waist(though his Anne-girl was nothing short of a force to bd reckoned with) all the way down to her legs which he had personally never seen past her calves.

He was overcome with the pressing desire to kiss her and kiss her he did. He pressed his lips to hers and for a moment, it was just the two of them, just two young people enjoying the essence of each other, basking in the sheer love for the other that lay in their hearts.

"Ahem," somebody said, clearing their throat. The couple, who very clearly had missed each other's company, pulled away from each other at once, though still maintaining a firm grip on to the others' hand. "Sorry to interrupt your... enthusiastic reunion, but I have no idea where to go. And you forgot this," he remarked dryly to Gilbert, handing him the suitcase he had dropped in his flurry of passions. Gilbert rolled his eyes, taking the bag in his hands.

Anne stared up at Gilbert blankly, not knowing who this new man was. He had warm butter blonde hair that fell over his face swoopily. He had clear and dark blue eyes and to anyone, he might've been considered very attractive, but Anne only saw one boy for her.

"Anne, this is Alexander Whitmore, my roommate," Gilbert introduced. Anne's face flashed with realization.

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you! I've heard so much about you!"

"All bad, I hope?" he asked her jovially, nudging Gilbert in a brotherly fashion. Gilbert rolled his eyes, smiling at the other boy nevertheless.

"Why, of course!" she played along, giggling blithely.

"Gilbert here has just about talked my ear off about you, miss Anne... with an E, was it?" Anne beamed, ecstatic that someone had asked how to spell her name, concluding that Alexander Whitmore was definitely a kindred spirit and that she was glad that Gilbert had him when he was off at college.

"Yes, that is correct," she nodded as Gilbert's skin darkened with embarrassment.

"Okay, Whitmore. That's enough slander of my limited amount of dignity for now. Plenty of time later." The blonde boy smirked, patting Gilbert on the shoulder good naturedly.

"It's only true, mate. You're whipped." Anne laughed as Gilbert sighed, wondering if he'd ever be looked at seriously in Anne's eyes again. His eyes widened and he groaned as he thought of Alex and Bash meeting each other in a couple short hours. He'd be done for.

Anne noticed this and placed a worried hand on Gilbert's arm, her touch soothing him a bit. "Gil? Are you alright?"

"Yes, but... Bash and Alex together." Anne realized the gravity of the situation and she groaned and covered her face. Oh, she and Gilbert would be teased mercilessly!

"I thought you said Sebastian and I would get on well?" Anne and Gilbert could almost laugh. They'd get along TOO well.

"Nothing!" Gilbert covered quickly, not wanting to give him any ideas. "Nothing at all! We should get going!" Gilbert and Anne started to walk briskly towards the stage coach waiting for them, courtesy of dear Aunt Josephine. The boy looked at the pair strangely, frowning at them but brushing it off.

"Alright then..." Anne's face struck with remembrance suddenly.

"I brought you this," she began, taking a covered cup out of her bag. "I thought you might be tired after the journey, so I bought some coffee." She handed him a jar, steaming hot and fragrant. Her face was flushed pink from the chill in the air, making her look like a sweet little rose flower.

"At midnight?" he laughed, taking it anyhow and sipping it. "Wonderful."

_______________________________

When they arrived back at Aunt Jo's mansion after an hour, Rollings let them in, proclaiming that Aunt Jo, who was still deep in slumber, wanted them to freshen up, get a couple hours of sleep, and be down for breakfast by 6:30 so they could catch the 9:00 train to Bright River.

Strategically,(and of course without Marilla's knowing) Aunt Jo had given Gilbert and Anne the only two rooms on the very top floor, knowing that it would be the only way that they could have a proper reunion without any of the "six feet apart and chaperoned" nonsense. Jo knew perfectly what it was like to have to be proper around everybody when you wanted nothing more than to wrap your lover up in a tight embrace, so she did Anne and Gilbert a favor.

When they had shown Alex to his room on the first floor, they climbed up the ebony carved stairs to the very top floor.

"Umm... I'm going to change into my nightclothes and be right back," Anne told him. It was funny how easy it came for them to be open and amorous through their letters, but seeing each other in private... it was different. Writing had always been so much less demanding than speaking for Gilbert.

"Yeah, me too," said Gilbert, looking down at the floor. They both retreated into their rooms quickly.

When Anne was inside, she promptly locked the door, exhaling with a blushing smile on her face. He was here! He was really here and she had held him in her arms, kissed his loving lips, held his hand. She could scarcely believe it! Then she came to the conclusion that she needed to spend every second that she could with him, so she changed into her nightgown, got something that she had been dying to give him, and quickly and came out into the hallway.

Meanwhile, Gilbert paced around his room, preparing for his declaration.

"Anne... I know it's only been just over a month- No, that sounds too much like a proposal," he grumbled. "Anne, you are the best part of my life and I love- too abrupt. Anne, as of late, I've been feeling-" He heard somebody rap on the door.

"Gil? Are you alright in there?" Anne's voice, concerned and always beautiful, called out.

"Yes, I'll be out in just a moment!" He tried to make himself sound unperturbed, grabbing the small parcel he was planning to give her, shoving it into his pocket and opened the door to find his Anne, radiant even in bedclothes, standing against the wall, fiddling with the charm bracelet that Matthew had given her. Once she saw him, she couldn't help but let a gentle blush crawl down her cheeks and to her neck. She'd never seen Gilbert in his night clothes before, namely the tight white shirt that he donned. Neither had Gilbert seen her in nothing but the ankle length white(and just barely see through) gown. He had compared her to an angel so many times, but now she looked like a bone fide goddess.

"You look so beautiful when you blush," he told her softly, reaching up to graze his thumb along her pink cheek.

"I- Thank you," she said shyly. "Do you think you might want to go in my room? The fire is blazing and it's warmer in there. I don't mean it in any concupiscent way, of course, I just thought you might want to warm up from the cold. I don't know what the weather's like into Toronto, but-" He sharply cut off her rambling with a passionate kiss, caressing her face lovingly. Anne sighed at the pleasant sensation, realizing just how much she had actually missed him, his company, all of his adoring gazes.

"Your room sounds lovely, Anne," he said once he pulled away from her. She took his hand and led him into the room, which was breathtaking. It was like Aunt Jo had this room made for her. It was painted a light spring green, well-painted flowers(which were definitely repainted by Cole when they started to fade away) cascading down the wall. There were multiple circular windows, letting the moonlight shine through the lacey drapes. A bookcase and a gramophone were in the far corner of the room, containing some of Austen's, the Brontes, and Walt Whitman's works. The bed was wide and soft, a thick velvet comforter draped across the surface, several down pillows resting neatly as if Aunt Jo knew that Anne wouldn't be the only one there.

Anne walked over to the vanity, pouring a glass of water for herself from the large glass bottle. As she was walking over to her beau, she fumbled and fell to the ground, spilling water all over her pristine white gown. Gilbert raced to her side, helping her sopping wet form up and handing her a towel.

"Oh no! That was the only nightgown I brought!" she complained. Helpless, she started to try and dry her gown with a towel aimlessly.

"Anne-girl, that's not going to work," he said softly. Anne threw the rag on the ground, frowning and on the brink of tears. She threw herself on the ground and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I'm sorry," she started defeatedly. "I'm very emotional today. I'm in my womanly flowering week." Anne didn't quite fathom why it was so forbidden and impermissible to discuss it, so she had decided that if a man truly loved her, he'd have to be willing to deal with open discussions about everything, including her health and wellness.

Instead of recoiling or being disgusted like any regular man of the nineteenth century, Gilbert nodded in understanding(he was in fact very grateful and sympathetic that girls had to go through that and glad that he didn't) and helped her into a chair.

"I have an extra t-shirt...?" he offered. "I don't mean to be suggestive or crude, but I could lend it to you. I promise, it's only because I don't want you to be in cold and wet clothing all night. You'll catch your death."

"I... would you lend it to me?" she pleaded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I would be ETERNALLY grateful to you."

"Of course," he laughed at her for even thinking that he wouldn't do anything for her in a heart beat, already halfway out the door. "I'll grab it from my room." He disappeared for a moment before returning with his bag and pulling out a plain white shirt .He handed it to her. She told him to turn around(which he did, being a proper gentleman)

"Okay, I'm done." He turned around, not expecting the sight of Anne so utterly captivating, somehow even more so than usual. His shirt only covered up to just above her knees. He could see half of her legs, her beautiful, doll like, statuesque legs. Even her legs had golden freckles on them. Anne noticed his mouth agape and blushed, burrowing herself deeper into his shirt. It had his sweet smell of apples and pine trees.

Many months down the line, she would be pleased at her legs for giving out that day and causing her to plummet to the ground and require his shirt, for that shirt had been held to her chest in longing many a lonely night, breathing in his magnificent smell.

Something caught her eye from across the room.

"A gramophone!" she exclaimed in delight, moods changing with the tide. She walked over to the big golden cone-like machine and spotted a bin underneath the table, full of glass records, grouped off in polished and labeled wood cases. She placed it on the table gingerly, flipping through the records. Gilbert watched her in admiration and amusement, her eyes lighting up every time she saw something potentially interesting. She saw one labeled bin of glass records and her blue eyes filled with joy and romance.

"Gertie and Jo's love songs," she sighed, holding the records to her chest. She looked at her beau pleadingly. "You don't mind if I put on some music, do you?" Gilbert had a hard time saying no to her for anything, especially when her eyes were so earnest, flaming hair framing her face as her gentle waves escaped the loose braid that she had quickly braided it into.

"Not at all, my Anne-girl," he told her, not hiding the small smile that graced his face. Anne had thought sad and handsome Gilbert was ever so charming, but at that moment, she decided that she loved chivalrous and romantical Gilbert better. Nothing could ever beat the sight of the love(though she hadn't coined it so) dancing in his hazel eyes that shone like emeralds in the moon's sacred light. Nothing could beat how he wasn't bothered with the messy curls that had slowly started to eclipse his forehead, not bothering to sweep it aside for he was too preoccupied looking at the woman he cared about so much. Nothing beat his doting and adoring smile that somehow made her feel as if she were the most fetching woman in the world, despite being far from it.

When the needle went on the record, she was pleasantly surprised at the tinkly sound of a piano, playing a melody that reminded her of spring days, kisses in the rain, and laying in the meadow with your lover, something that she had read in so many books. Gilbert came up to her, a mischievous smile on his face.

"My lady," he proposed, extending his hand out to her. "Would thou care to dance?"

"Why yes," she answered, placing her hand in his. "I would love to!" Unexpectedly, he spun her around and then pulled her close to him so her head was resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. One hand remained rested on her lower back and the other was clasped in hers. Her hand rested on her strong shoulder. For a minute it was calm. That was until Anne got bored and grabbed his other hand, spinning him as he laughed in surprise. He lifted her by the waist, spinning her in the air as she shrieked with exhilaration. For minutes, they danced wildly, spinning the other around until they were dizzy and twirling across the room like maniacs, hands intertwined as Gilbert brought their hands up to his heart.

Anne looked up at Gilbert through long scarlet lashes. "I don't think I mind dancing so much anymore."

____________________________

In about ten minutes, the two of them were sprawled out on the bed, laughing like fools. Or rather, Anne was laughing maniacally while Gilbert scowled.

"I don't think I'll be able to face Charlie," he remarked. " I can't believe he's the one that said that to you! And he tried to walk you home in school? AND he tried to accompany you to a party? Of course, I don't care since you said no." he amended, trying to look coolly unbothered in front of Anne, nevertheless frowning that anyone would ever try to take Anne away from his reach.

"Is it possible, dearest Gilbert, that you might be just a mite jealous?" she asked him, rolling over so she was looking directly at his laying form.

He shook his head. "No, I'm not that type of guy," he said at first, but then frowned. "Am I?"

She smiled, bending down to peck his nose once. "Gil, it's not a bad thing to be jealous, it's when you start to inhibit other people because of your jealousy that it becomes problematic. Frankly, I find it just so endearing when you're jealous, darling. Your nose gets all scrunched up in repulsion and your lower lip starts to stick out and your eyes get dark and stormy."

He turned so that they were face to face and wrapped a hand around her waist. "Well then, it's a good thing that I'm never going to let anyone try and steal your heart when I've already given you mine."

"Then it's a magnificent thing that I can't give my heart to anyone because it's already tucked away in your pocket." He pulled her in for another kiss. They pulled apart for a breath, heads resting against the other's.

"Anyways, how's Christine?" she queried bitterly, a tinge of salt in her tone. "Magnificent, starry violet eyed, raven haired, rose leaf complexioned Christine."

Gilbert looked at his Anne-girl with mild amusement. "How did you know she looked like that? I never mentioned it."

She blushed scarlet. "I may have had Mrs. Lynde ask around..." she admitted sheepishly, blushing. He grinned, poking her childishly. Anne and Gilbert may have been almost fully adult now, but around each other, they still acted like love sick schoolchildren.

"Anne-girl, is it possible that you might be just a mite jealous?" he asked, echoing her words with a teasing smirk on his face.

"How could I not when you have wealthy and divinely beautiful women all vying for your attention?" she lamented, frowning.

"Yes, Christine is very beautiful and very rich, now that I think of it..." he admitted, trying to get a rise out of her. She gaped, scowling and crossing her arms over her chest. The cheek of that boy! "But she's not you and I couldn't love anyone if it wasn't you." She blushed scarlet, finding it hard to be mad at somebody as adorable and flirtatious as her beau.

"You're such a terrible flirt, Gil!" she chided, but was still smiling at his affectionate sentiments.

"False vex, you're smiling." She swatted his arm gently, trying not to laugh.

She broke out of his embrace, leaving him pouting that his wildflower scented girlfriend was out of his arms already. "I have something for you."

"Yeah?" he responded, fishing in his pocket for the thing he had for her. "Me too. You go first." he said, wanting to save his big declaration for the last just in case she didn't agree. She grabbed something from her bag and sat back down, handing him something in a flat rectangular box that was tied up with a big navy ribbon.

"Open it," she urged, bouncing up and down. He undid the ribbon, careful not to tear it, and opened the box to find a glass phonograph disk. "I recalled you saying that you had a gramophone back at your dorm room."

"What song is it?" he asked her, surprised that she remembered that little detail from his letters so long ago.

"It's... not exactly a song. I recalled you saying that you were starved for my presence in Toronto, so... I had my voice recorded. Go ahead, play it." She gestured to Aunt Jo's gramophone. He got up to play it, setting the needle on the grooves of the disk.

"My darling Gilbert," a recorded version of Anne's clear voice rang through the room and a smile spread across Gilbert's face. He looked almost giddy like a child, eyes wide, astounded, and completely precious, so Anne couldn't help but lean in and kiss him on the cheek. "If you're playing this, it means you miss me and honestly, I'm flattered that anyone could ever miss my rambling self. I've never been someone worth missing and to think that I have the most handsome beau who misses a woman as plain as me is astonishing in the most magnificent of ways. But anyways, I just wanted to remind you that I may not be with you right now, but I'm always there with you in soul. Kindred spirits are never truly separated. I love you. I love you more than anyone's ever loved anyone. I can't wait to see you again." The recording cut off and Anne looked to Gilbert with a nervous smile. The smile disappeared when she saw the frown on his face.

She started to amend, "Of course, I don't expect you to feel the same way this early but-"

He shook his head, appalled that she'd think that he didn't feel the same way. "No, I can't believe you beat me to it!" he exclaimed. "I was going to tell you that I love you tonight too!" She burst out laughing at his grumbling. It was natural that they were always trying to beat the other at something or the other.

"Well, it serves thee right for being so endearingly chivalrous and letting me go first, Mr. Blythe!" she playfully chastised, wagging her finger at him.

"I guess it does, Miss Shirley," he responded, grinning at her. "And now, dost I reveal what I have for thee?"

"Thou shouldst, of course." He handed her a small velvet box. It was too big to be a ring(thank god, she wasn't ready for marriage at 16) , but not big enough to be something heavy. She opened it to find a shimmery diamond pendant. She gasped, heart absolutely melting at the design. It was a rose gold heart with a topaz carrot embedded in it, shiny and beautiful.

"I-I can't take this, Gil. It's too expensive!" she stammered, giving it back to him gently so that she did not damage the necklace.

"You're my future, Anne. I'll pamper you if I want.'" He pushed the box back towards her.

"No, Gil-"

"I insist. You have to take it, for me."

"Are you sure you didn't spend-"

"Anne-girl, stop worrying about me!" he insisted, half laughing at her distraught expression. "I have enough money! I have the money from the orchard and my father's inheritance and life insurance money. I'm on a full scholarship at U of T! Can't a man spend a little bit for the girl he loves?"

"Fine," she stopped protesting.

"If you don't like it, I can take it back and exchange it for something else. I know it's not the diamonds and silver that other girls get. Should I?" he asked her uncertainly.

She gasped. "Gilbert Blythe, how could anyone NOT love this pendant! It's the stuff of dreams! I wouldn't trade it for the world. I shall keep it on forever, just because it was a gift from you, darling." She said all this quite dramatically, with a big show of nobility. He lifted it gently, separating the two ends of the chain.

"May I?" he asked breathily. She nodded, turning around and sweeping her hair in front of her, baring her freckled neck and back to him. He circled one end of the pendant around her neck, fingers grazing her collarbone. They settled into her covers(They were both tired), Anne's head nuzzled in the crook of his neck. His arm wrapped around her, stroking her hair. Their legs were intertwined, both their eyes closed as they enjoyed the pure essence of the other, not even thinking of any sorts impropriety. They were too fatigued and too young and innocent for that.

"And by the way, I love you too. More so than you love me, I'm sure," he added, opening one eye.

"Impossible!" she scoffed, taking the bait for one of their infamous arguments again. "How could you ever say that? OBVIOUSLY, I am the superior in loving you."

"No, how would that be so? I'd chase you forever, dear Anne!" he dramatized, sitting upright. She followed after him, both of their postures noble and rigid.

"And I love you with the magnitude of an exploding star!"

"How about... a compromise? We love each other equally. Life mates, as you would call it. Mutual respect and adoration." He lifted his hand to give her a handshake, but once she grabbed his hand, he started to tickle her.

"Gil! You... stop...th-that! Now, I... mean it!!!" she yelled, though roaring with laughter. She started to tickle him back and by the end, they were both collapsed on the bed, heaving with exhaustion and smiles wide on their faces.

Gilbert hushed for a moment, Anne noticing immediately. "Gil? What's wrong?"

A strange look crossed his face, him pausing briefly and trying to phrase it the best possible way. "You're my best friend, Anne. I don't know what I'd do without you," he confided softly.

She stayed silent for a moment, Gilbert wishing that he hadn't been too abrupt.

Finally, she said, "This is true love, isn't it?"

He smiled, extending an arm and pulling her closer. "I couldn't have said it better myself."


	4. This Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert thinks of something far beyond what he thought his imagination was capable of conjuring up, gets a little jealous, and Anne tells him a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple chapters will be mild and sweet fluff to prepare for what's coming next...
> 
> Jealous Gilbert in this chapter!

Gilbert woke up as the light filtered in through the light and lacy curtains. At first, he thought he was still back in his miserably lonely boarding house in Toronto(and worried for a split second that he might’ve been late to Anatomy), but then he registered the frail and divinely beautiful red head asleep beside him, face buried in the crook of his shoulder. He could scarcely believe it, it was as if he had died and gone to heaven! Never in his 18 years would he have imagined finally getting Anne to love him, finally being able to express how much he really loved her. He felt like he wanted to tell the entire world! Anne Shirley Cuthbert loved the likes of him! Oh, how undeserving he was of her tender affections, her reserved sentiments of love.

She looked like an angel, his Anne. With her red hair unrestrained by any ribbons or ties, it hung in loose waves around her milky white face, looking like a halo of fire around her. Her pink lips were upturned slightly in her sleep as if she was dreaming about something pleasant, slightly parted as she breathed in and out. Her eyes were closed, long auburn lashes grazing her freckled and glowing-almost iridescent- cheeks. His shirt had ridden up a little bit, exposing just the very edges of the skin above her knees, specifically two pale and lightly spotted and toned thighs. 

The image that rampaged through his head next was one that he himself was shocked at. He thought of her wearing something else of his. Well, not exactly his. Specifically, his mother’s ring, the elegant circlet of pearls and gold, still waiting there for someone to claim it forever back in his father’s old room. Then he thought of Anne’s long and graceful ring finger slipping that ring on and never taking it off, just like his mother had cherished it back in her day, before his deplorable birth had ended the life of a good and kind woman so abruptly.

He also thought of her dainty and ringed hand closing around a child’s hand, one with bright red hair and startling blue eyes. He’d want all his children to look like her, for she was the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on. He thought of them 50 years in the future, hair graying and laugh lines abundant on their faces, sitting on the front porch steps of an sumptuous manor near the beach, as she loved it so. Of course, he’d be content with her in a garbage bin, but he’d aim to give her only the finest in life as she deserved.

She stirred next to him, eyes fluttering open. 

“Gilbert?” she yawned, voice saturated with sleep.

“Good morning, my faerie queen,” he greeted, lowering his mouth to kiss her lips quickly.

“Ew,” she grumbled. “Morning breath. Go wash out your mouth.” She sat up, stretching her arms out, then reaching down quickly to pull the shirt back to her knee level.

“What if I don’t want to?” he defied, grinning at her. She glared at him, rolling her eyes.

“Then you can take the train back to Toronto right now,” she retorted coolly, crossing her arms over her chest. “I certainly wouldn’t miss you.”

“You wound me, Anne,” Gilbert lamented, placing a hand over his heart. She ignored him, getting up out of the bed and walking over to her bag.

“We should get ready. It’s 5:45 and Aunt Jo wants us down by 6:30.” From her bag, she pulled out an elegant white laced dress, complete with yards of rippling blue fabric and a simple dark blue jacket. She also took out her corset, stepping behind the floral folding screen. 

After putting on the skirt portion, Anne tried to lace the corset, but to her dismay, it had seemingly gotten knotted at the back! With a groan, she realized that she’d have to have Gilbert help her.

“Anne, are you alright?” he asked when he heard her express her displeasure.

“Gil, PLEASE, please do not take this the wrong way, but could you please assist me in lacing my corset? It seems to have gotten tangled,” she explained, hoping he wouldn’t think her a quean for asking him so. After all, he’d have to see her upper back!

He swallowed, throat dry as the Sahara as soon as the words were uttered. “I… suppose I could, yes.” She hesitantly stepped out so that he could see the gnarly mess at the back of her corset. He walked over to her, one step at a time, slowly reaching out to the knot at the back, using his usually nimble but now slightly shaking fingers to undo it. God, he had dissected animals piece by piece with a steady hand, but as soon as Anne was in the picture, he turned into a nervous wreck. The things she did to him!

She swept her hair to the front of her body so that he had easy access to the part that was the most knotted. Steadily and silently, he dug his fingers into the string and unraveled it. After a moment or two of much tension, it was finally laced properly. 

She turned to face him, a curious smile on her face. “How do you know how to lace a corset? Have you been sneaking around with the simply ravishing ladies of Toronto behind my back?” she teased, smiling kindly at him.

He shook his head, avoiding her curious gaze. “If you recall, the Blythe family used to be quite a large family. I had an aunt. Right before fever took her, I had to learn how to help her when my mother was dead and my father was away at work.”

Her gaze softened. “Oh Gilbert darling, I didn’t know. I’m sorry for-”

“No, don’t worry about it.” He gave her a strained smile, appreciative of her compassionate character. “You didn’t know.” 

“Alright, I should go put on the top before someone thinks we’re being improper,” she giggled. Only then did he notice that she was still only in a corset and a skirt. Unapologetically, he let his eyes wander downwards, memorizing each freckle on her smooth shoulders, the dip of her collarbone, the curve of her hips, the very beginnings of her flat stomach. She noticed and her face flushed crimson, the color extending all the way down to the ends of her neck. He’d always wondered how far down the blush of her cheeks went. 

“Are you sure you have to?” he asked reluctantly, eyes still focused on her bare shoulders with a zealous hunger she’d never seen in his eyes before.

“Gilbert!” she chastised, but laughing nevertheless, hand held up to her mouth to try and stifle her amusement.

“Perhaps it’s for the best. I don’t think I’d be able to restrain my intense desire to kiss you in public,” He let his eyes worship her body once more.

“My eyes are on my face, Gil,” 

“And?” She simply rolled her eyes and stepped behind the folding screen. After a slow and excruciating couple of minutes for Gilbert, she stepped out in the lacy white full sleeved top and the rippling blue skirt. She had done her hair in a simple fashion, putting half of it up in a loose knot and the rest to hang freely around her face. She slipped on the dark blue jacket. He proffered his hand to her and she gladly accepted as he pulled her close.

“I’m still not used to you in long dresses,” he murmured. “You look… amazing. Very dignified, my lady.”

“Is that so?” she asked, continuing their little act. “Perhaps thou will be pleased to know that it is 6:25 and that we have a full five minutes to do whatever we very well please.” She grinned mischievously and Gilbert knew exactly what she was getting at. He leaned closer to her frame that was leaned against the wall, taking her face in his hands as she grinned cheekily when someone burst through the door.

“Ewww!” the young girl exclaimed, wrinkling her nose. Anne and her beau pulled apart bashfully, both stealing a glance at each other.

“We’ll finish this later,” Gilbert mouthed when the child wasn’t looking.

“Oh, hello, Minnie May!” Anne greeted, flustered and smoothing out her skirt and patting her hair nervously. “What are you here for?”

“Diana wants to know how much toast you want. One or two pieces each? Or should I tell her that you’re eating each other’s faces for breakfast instead?” The eight year old made a face and snickered.

Anne exchanged a nonplussed look with Gilbert. “One piece, please.”

“One piece for me as well,” Gilbert agreed, lacing their hand together again. As a new couple, they couldn’t bear to be away from each other for long when they only had a day. Once the young girl left, the two looked to each other reluctantly.

“I suppose we should go downstairs now,” she said glumly. 

“I suppose we should,” he conceded, but not before taking her face in his hands one last time and pressing an earnest kiss to her cheek. She laughed shyly and led him downstairs, where the others were waiting for them already. Alexander had already started chatting up everyone in sight and the girls seemed to be quite taken with him. Anne supposed that yes, he was attractive, but no, not as handsome as Gilbert.

“Gilbert!” he boomed, waving to him excitedly as they came down the stairs. Everyone greeted their newly Torontonian friend.“You didn’t tell me that your friends were more interesting than you! I would’ve talked to them earlier! And it’s always lovely to see you, Miss Anne,” he continued, flashing a smile at her.

“Be careful, boys,” Gilbert remarked dryly. “This one might just steal your girls.” Moody was suddenly very alarmed and insisted that Ruby come with him to get something that he had “forgotten”, her winking at Anne. Anne giggled in response, knowing that Ruby was so very taken with Moody.

“What did I miss?” a male voice echoed. She turned to see Cole, grinning and arms open, Aunt Josephine beside him. Without a second thought, she tore through the sea of teens, bounding into her good friend’s -no, brother’s- arms. She then proceeded to give Aunt Jo a tight hug.

“Oh Cole, Aunt Jo, how I’ve missed you both!” Gilbert watched from the corner of the room, frowning at her obvious affection for the tall blond boy. He started to silently fume, jaw clenching and fists balling up as Anne pressed a kiss to the boy’s cheek, then the kind older lady’s cheek. He knew that they were close friends, but did they really have to do… that when him and Anne were courting and he was right there in the room?

“Shall we sit for breakfast then?” Aunt Jo asked, motioning for everyone to sit at her gargantuan dining hall table. Everyone sauntered leisurely to the table, Aunt Jo taking a seat at the head of the table. Anne took a seat in between Gilbert and Cole, Diana sitting across from her. Alex sat at Gilbert right, next to Josie. Tillie, Ruby, Moody, Charlie, and Jane followed. Everyone engaged in pleasant conversation, all except Gilbert. He tried not to notice how easily Anne could strike up a conversation with Cole, how easy it was for her to exhibit affection to him. Did she have no regard for his feelings?

After an appetizing breakfast, Aunt Josephine got up and announced, “You all have half an hour to do whatever you please before you should leave for the train station. Rollings will collect your bags and load them into a carriage for you.”

Anne and Gilbert walked up the stairs to her room, as both their bags were in her room. She closed the door and collected the now dry nightgown from the windowsill that she had let it dry on.

“You were quiet at breakfast,” Anne remarked, turning her head slightly to look at him as she folded the clothing. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “It’s… nothing.”

She put the folded dress in her bag and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know you, Gil. Something is CLEARLY bothering you. What is it?”

He gave her a small smile. She really did know him like the back of her hand. They sat down on the edge of the bed, her hand on top of his supportively.

“It’s just… you and Cole. You kissed him. I thought that… I just, we’re courting and-” he struggled to put it into words without offending her.

To his astonishment, she started to laugh! 

“What’s so funny?” he asked her, eyes bewildered. 

“Nothing, it’s just… Are you envious of Cole?” she inquired, wiping the tears that had accumulated in her eyes after her fit of laughter.

“Well, of course! You KISSED him, Anne-girl.”

“Gilbert, I’m not sure I should be telling you this, but…” she hesitated, not wanting to divulge something that was private. “I’ll tell you if you promise not to tell anybody else.”

“Yeah, you can trust me with anything, Anne.” He placed a hand on her knee, squeezing it. 

She placed her hand on top of his before disclosing, “Cole likes boys. He isn’t… romantically interested in women.” 

“Oh,” he exhaled, part surprised and part relieved. “Thank god! I was afraid that he’d have to come after Charlie on the people to “talk to” list.” Anne let out a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding. She loved Gilbert with every fraction of her soul, but she wouldn’t stand for him being unsupportive of one of her closest friends. If he hadn’t been so accepting, she probably would’ve ended things with him, no matter how much she cared for him.

“Have you told anyone in Avonlea yet? About us?” she asked him nervously, leaning against him, head on his shoulders.

“No, have you?” She shook her head, deep in thought. He wrapped an arm around her, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. 

“What happens if they react badly, Gil? We both know how delighted everyone was that the “golden boy” of our small town was going to Paris and getting married to a rich and seductive and enchanting debutante! What will happen when they hear that he discarded that fine lifestyle for a homely redheaded orphan? They’ll say I’m a Jezebel, a loose woman! You wouldn’t want to be associated with a homewrecker, would you?” she spat out with disdain.

“Who cares what they think?” he scoffed. “It’s our life, isn’t it? I’m going to a good university and I have the woman of my dreams, a million times more “enchanting”, as you would say, than Winifred. I’m perfectly happy. And if anyone gives you any trouble about it, you remember this. We’re happy and that’s all that matters.”

“You’re right,” she resolved, wiping the frown off her face. She recalled something from earlier and smiled playfully. “I do recall that someone promised to make up for when we were so rudely interrupted?” Her eyes met his, a carefree smile playing on her lips.

“Well, who am I to break promises?” he smirked. 

And suddenly, all of their troubles evaporated into thin air.


	5. Everything Has Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert return home and reunite with some friendly faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that I am ALL FOR the Black Lives Matter stuff. I don't care if it loses me readers, this issue matters to me. All lives matter is like a teacher giving bandages to the entire class after one student hurts their leg. It doesn't make sense. So please, sign petitions and donate. If you're broke like me, watch videos who's ad money goes to the BLM cause. Make sure to be on 480p or higher and to watch the entire ad for the most amount of money to be donated! Link to a good playlist:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIt3hr4DfyElVV5zl3GBy7Gv0wxn7IdBn

**_And all I've seen  
Since eighteen hours ago  
Is green eyes and freckles and your smile  
In the back of my mind making me feel like  
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now_ **

Anne and her companions dismounted the train at Bright River, the cool October wind fluttering her hair and skirts slightly.

“Home,” Ruby sighed, looking around with a wistful grin. “How I’ve missed you!”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, Ruby,” Anne agreed, breathing in the familiar aroma. It was as if she could smell Marilla’s fragrant and cinnamony apple pies from here It was as if she could smell Matthew’s boot polish and Delly’s baby bottles and Bash’s crab callaloo. She could practically hear the sound of the kettle drowned out by Mrs. Lynde’s incessant gossip and she could see Minnie May’s tongue protruding out of her mouth at her.

“We still have 8 miles before we’re actually back home,” Charlie pointed out awkwardly. Everyone turned to glare at him for ruining their much awaited reunion with the place they loved so. “Okay, okay, no need to be so aggressive.” He stepped back, hands up in surrender.

Just around the corner, a multitude of carriages belonging to all their families come to pick them up were idly waiting. With scanning eyes, Anne and Gilbert quickly spotted their families together, chatting pleasantly. As soon as she spotted them, Anne hitched up her skirts and all but sprinted to them.

“Marilla! Matthew!” She held on to the top of her hat, waving it around to attract their attention. When they heard her shrill and happy call, a wide smile spread over the elderly siblings’ face. Anne ran straight into her father, hugging him with a passion unrivaled with Ruby’s gentle embrace to her mother and father or in Diana’s case, an acknowledging curtsy. Anne then moved to embrace Marilla, kissing them both on the cheek. Gilbert moved to Bash and Delphine, embracing Bash with a brotherly clap on the back and taking Delly from him.

“Uh-cah Guh-Buh!” she cooed, the one year old not being able to say harder consonants. Gilbert looked at his niece in amazement and adoration.

“Delly, you can talk, can you? What a smart girl!” He kissed her on the forehead, ruffling her small tendrils of dark brown hair affectionately.

Meanwhile, Anne stared at both her parents in utter adoration. “I missed you both so much!” she exclaimed, wiping at the tears building in her eyes.

“Well now, we missed you too,” Matthew stated gruffly. “Glad to see you using the travel fund.”

“Of course!” Anne said. “I don’t think I’d be able to LIVE if I couldn’t visit Green Gables. After all, it’s my first home.”

“We’re glad to hear you say that, Anne,” Marilla beamed, wrapping Anne in another hug, bending down slightly to kiss her on the forehead.

“And…” Matthew exchanged a look with Marilla. Gilbert had written them both a thick letter about his intentions, asking for their blessings. “I imagine we’re not the only ones you’re excited to see today.” Anne flushed pink, unconsciously fiddling with the charm on her necklace. She turned to glance over at her darling Gil, watching for a moment as he caressed and played with young Delphine, a loving smile on his face as the little girl reached out and grabbed one of the messy curls hanging over his forehead, him laughing jauntily as he cooed at her. For a moment, she was hit by a rather pleasant image, though astonishing that she would even think of it. She shook it out of her head, repercussing herself for such frivolous and unrealistic fancies. She was only 16 and Gilbert had years of medical school!

“Now, what’s that on your neck, Anne?” Marilla asked, hoping she hadn’t been spending unnecessary money on foolish trinkets. The simple pearl necklace that she had bought for Anne was a very serviceable piece of jewelry, no unnecessary embellishments.

“Oh,” Anne said, holding it up gently. “Gilbert gave it to me.”

“Well now, he must’ve spent a pretty penny on that,” Matthew remarked, admiring the small yet shining gem stone.

Anne rolled her eyes. “I know. I told him not to bother, but what can you do?” She looked at him with Bash and Delphine once more. He met her eye and smiled brightly, winking at her. She lifted her fingers in a wave of sorts, the bright spark of young love in her silvery eyes not going unnoticed by Marilla.

“Well, Anne, it looks you two are certainly taken with each other!” she huffed, though secretly very pleased that her Anne’s love story might turn out different. There was also the tinge of creeping melancholia that came with it. Her daughter was growing up, and she was growing up fast. Marilla had taken her childish flights of fancy and her stoic refusal to be courted for granted. Now, right before her eyes, her Anne had her first (and by the looks of it, last) beau.

Anne nodded shyly, blushing scarlet. “Did you… tell anyone? Oh Marilla, please tell me you didn’t! I wouldn’t be able to LIVE with the utter humiliation of being a-a-a h-homewrecker! I assure you both, I am not some sort of a floozy that breaks up engagements in my spare time!” she burst out, Marilla knowing just what she was talking about. Matthew was suddenly very invested in the soil on the ground, kicking it about with his boot, not quite comfortable with this kind of topic with even his closest family.

“I did not tell Rachel, if that’s what you’re prattling on about,” Marilla finally answered. Anne let out a huge breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. “It’s your courtship, not the town’s, how much ever Rachel might dispute that. I imagine for her, a one month courtship is a month too long! Now, what do you say that we go? I need your help with dinner. I’ve taken on inviting the Blythe- Lacroix family, Mrs Stacy, and the Lyndes!”

“The Lyndes?” Anne whispered fearfully, eyes wide with realization. Oh, Mrs. Lynde would have to find out about them tonight!

“Not all 12 of them, just Rachel and Thomas. I’m not in the habit of having entire armies over for dinner,” Marilla snapped.

“But that’s not what irks me so, Marilla. Once Mrs. Lynde finds out… Oh, my reputation with the town will be torn to shreds!” Anne lamented pathetically.

“Fiddlesticks! There will be no such things,” Marilla denied, shaking her head. “I’ll thank you to get yourself on the wagon now!”

“Of course,” she obeyed, hopping on the back of the horse drawn buggy. “I’ll just have to tell Gilbert when we go home. Oh Marilla, do you mind too much if I spend some time with him today? He’s only here for today and I’ll spend the whole day with you tomorrow!” she pleaded, thinking of the distressing time when he’d have to leave her for Toronto again.

“No, Anne, I don’t mind. I may have years of practice being unfeeling, but I know what it’s like to be in love.”

“Oh, thank you ever so much! I'll forever be indebted to you!” Matthew drove the wagon along, chuckling at her dramatic notions.

Soon, after Anne had taken moments to revel in the splendor of the White Way of Delight and the Lake of Shining Waters, they were at Green Gables. They were home.

Anne climbed the stairs and dropped her bags in her gable room. It was exactly as she left it, the covers pristine and untouched. She walked to the window, sticking her head outside.

“Hello, dear Snow Queen!” she called out, laughing freely. “How I’ve missed you!”

A voice sounded from below and for a moment, she almost thought that Snow Queen was replying to her!

“I can think of someone else who’s missed you, Anne-girl!” She looked down to see Gilbert grinning boyishly at her, waving. “You wanna come down here?”

With a childish grin, she raced out of her room and ran down the stairs, skirt flying wildly behind her. Her Titian locks were flying every which way.

“Anne!” Marila scolded. “Please, contain yourself!” Only then did she notice that Gilbert had been invited inside. He was leaning back in an arm chair as if this was his home(it was as good as).

“Oh, hello, Gilbert!” she greeted, blushing that he had seen exactly how eager she was for his company.

“If it’s okay with Marilla, I was wondering if you’d like to take a stroll with me?” he asked. Anne looked to Marilla for guidance, who gave her a gentle nod of encouragement.

“I would be elated to take a stroll with you, Gilbert,”

“Excellent,” he said, not making a move to take her hand like he would’ve usually. After all, to some of the more nonprogressive members of society,(Mrs. Lynde and Mrs. Pye being prime examples) touching was something to be done during courtship and that too very innocently, certainly not the amorous embraces the two shared!

She wondered what had brought on this particular onset of propriety, considering holding hands was not something out of the ordinary for them. Oh, Mrs. Lynde would have a conniption if she saw the heated kisses and warm cuddles they shared with each other! She’d deliver them to the marriage altar herself! They were halfway out the door when Marilla called out.

“Lunch is at 12:00 and I expect you to be back well before then! And while you’re on this walk, please pick some flour up from town!” she added. Marilla didn’t really need flour, she just knew that people would talk if they saw Anne and Gilbert taking a stroll unchaperoned and that would be a blight on both of their reputations.

“Of course, Marilla,” Anne conceded, before closing the door behind her. As they walked side by side, their hands grazed against each other, both feeling the electrifying sparks running up and down their fingers when they brushed.

“Anyways,” Anne started, looking over at him with curious blue eyes. “What is this sudden onset of gentlemanly propriety all about?”

“You noticed,” he grinned, before continuing to say, “I realize that I’ve gone about this all incorrectly.”

“How so?” Anne asked, her brow furrowing in confusion. He smirked at at her, moving a little closer and speaking softly.

“I was supposed to come calling when you turned fifteen,” His hand moved closer to hers. “And take you on chaperoned walks home from school,” Their pinky fingers interlocked. “And have tea with our families with discussions about the weather and church sermons,” he whispered to her sweetly, their hands not quite together, but fingers touching. “Ask for permission from your father to officially court you,” he interlocked their hands now. “Write you poetic and censored love letters and steal a kiss or two, on the cheek of course,” His face drew closer to hers, eyes rested on her lips with intention. “And with advice from the minister and your parents,” He put a gentle hand on her smooth face. “Vow myself as your husband forever.”

“That does sound like quite a pleasant fantasy,” she agreed, breath escaping her for a moment. “But if we’d gone about it like that, I wouldn’t be able to do this…” She met his lips briefly, just enough time for the thick romantic tension in the air to dissolve the tiniest bit. Hands still laced together, they kept walking along the path slowly, wanting to prolong their time with each other for as many minutes as they could.

“Gilbert, I have the most HORRENDOUS news,” Anne stressed, frown etching deep on her face.

“Do tell?” he asked, both of them careful to drop hands whenever a towns person walked by, though their fingers would reach for another once again.

“Mrs. Lynde is coming to dinner today. Can you imagine how we’re going to tell her? She’s going to tarnish my reputation forever! Everyone is going to frown upon me for taking “PEI’S finest” away from the Sorbonne, the finest school anyone could ever dream of going to from this little town! Ugh, can you imagine what that horrible Billy Andrews might say?” She didn’t wait for him to reply, going on to rant, “He’ll say that of course an ugly, ill mannered, low born orphan would destroy an engagement like it was a thin willow twig!” she lamented, pouting - to Gilbert, quite adorably- in distress.

“And? I don’t care what people say,” he shrugged placidly, not being too concerned about the town’s rumor mill. Sure, people might talk for a day or a week or a month or a year, but after that, they’d find a new fascination, a new festival or scandal to once again immerse themselves in.

“Easy for you to say,” She scowled, rolling her eyes. “You’re the town’s personable golden boy, the top of the class and beloved by all that laid eyes on you, just returned home from war, I mean, university!” she exaggerated sarcastically, throwing him a lackluster look of mild distaste.

“And you’re not?” he asked in mild amusement.

“Well, no,” she pressed on insistently, face impassive, yet eyes dolorous. “I’m the red headed ugly orphan, the one returning from local Queens College. Too free spirited, too impassioned, and full of original sin and that’s from the more deferential people in this town.”

“Listen, Anne,’’ Gilbert said seriously, looking at her with love and passion. “I’m only going to say this once and I’ll deny saying it if you ask me again, but if you ask me, you’re the one who deserves to go to college abroad. You’re a million times brighter than I am.”

Anne stopped, utterly and completely incredulous. “B-But I’m a dunce at geometry!” she stammered, eyes wide with the realization that finally, Gilbert Blythe was accepting defeat.

“As if you could be a dunce at anything except realizing how wonderful you actually are,” he laughed, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Hurriedly, she pushed his arm off her shoulder.

“Gil, what are you thinking?” she hissed, astounded by his overwhelming stupidity. “We’re almost to town! Are you on a mission to ruin me?” she scolded, shaking her head. Gilbert, not at all as chastened as he should’ve been, pouted playfully.

“Alas, I have been discovered!” he exclaimed dramatically. Anne bit her lip to keep from laughing.

“Gilbert, you puerile boy!”

“But you still love me, don’t you? Despite my apparent childishness?” Gilbert couldn’t fathom why he acted so carefree when Anne was around. As a child, he was forced to grow up well before he should’ve, mature well beyond his years when everyone was still playing dragons after school, thanks to his life experiences. Somehow with Anne, he was allowed to be playful, get back the time he lost. He could be who he wanted to be with her.

“Oh Gil, despite? I love you for it!” With a glance to make sure no one was watching, she leaned in to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek before pulling away and walking on in long strides. In a few quick steps, he easily caught up to his graceful statuesque sweetheart.

“Oh, here’s the shop!” she announced, both of them strolling inside, being sure not to have contact as much as their fingers vied for the other’s touch.

“Mister Blythe!” the clerk called, blatantly ignoring the young woman accompanying him. “Pleased to hear you’re back! How’s life in Toronto?” Gilbert gave him a strained smile, this man had been extremely inhospitable to Bash many a day.

“Just fine, thank you.”

“Good morning, Mr. Carl,” she greeted hurriedly, sensing his discomfort and not wanting to prolong it. “May we have a bag of flour please?”

“How big, Miss Shirley?”

“Shirley-Cuthbert,” she corrected impulsively, before specifying, “The 3 pound bag, please.” He took it off the shelf and placed the cloth bag on the counter.

“Shall I add it to your tab?” he asked flatly.

“Yes, please.” Just as they were about to walk out, a kind voice called out to them.

“Anne, Gilbert, is that you?” They turned to see a woman in burgundy trousers that flared out and a white shirt, a bandanna tied around her dark blonde hair that hung in loose wisps around her face.

“Miss Stacy!” Anne greeted, a smile spreading over her face. “How positively providential to meet you here! How have you been?”

“Just fine, though I do admit the new year of graduating students aren’t NEARLY as dear to me as you two,” she confided, pulling them both in for a comforting embrace. “You must come over to my house and chat for a bit!” Looking at the time(it was merely 10:45) they agreed. Once they were safely inside her house, she asked them, “How has university life been for you both? Have you gotten a chance to meet Emily yet, Gilbert?” The three of them were sitting on her couch, sipping coffee and chatting like old friends. Anne and Gilbert sat right next to each other, thighs brushing through the layers of cloth.

“I have, as a matter of fact. She’s an amazing mentor and she and her husband have been amazingly hospitable to me. I guess she’s what Anne would call… a kindred spirit.” Exchanging a silent look of asking with her, he let his hand float to rest around her hips, pulling her closer to him. This exchange did not go unnoticed by the teacher, whose eyes widened in pleasant surprise. It was about time, after all! Out of all her students, Mrs. Stacy had sensed an exorbitant amount of sheer sexual tension radiating off her two students in the classroom.

“I assume that university isn’t the only thing that has changed in your lives?” She took a long sip of her drink, a smile playing on her face.

“You assume correctly,” Anne half leaned against his shoulder.

“Good changes, I hope?”

And at the same time, Anne and Gilbert both answered, “The best.”


	6. Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert reveal something to the town. They have conversations with her loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, quick update. I've decided I want these chapters to be around 2000 words, this one sits at about 1800-1900. It may wander into the 3000s later on.

**_Seems like there's always  
Someone who disapproves,  
They'll judge it like they know about me and you,  
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do,  
The jury's out,  
And my choice is you._ **

Anne and Gilbert, after 10 or 15 minutes of pleasant chat, bade farewell to Mrs. Stacy. After all, they’d see her again in a couple short hours!

“Gilbert,” Anne said, a little apprehensively while chewing the inside of her cheek in thought, smoothing out her skirt impulsively. Since she had started wearing long skirts, it had become a nervous tick. 

“Anne?” he responded, a look of mild concern on his face.

“I think… I think I don’t want to wait until dinner to tell people.” Surprise, very joyful surprise, crossed his face. She had been so anxious about it before and he didn’t want to pressure her, but now she wanted to tell people without any push from his side?

“Really?! Why the sudden change of mind?” Gilbert couldn’t shake his excitement and Anne laughed, thinking that he looked a little bit like a happy little yapping puppy.

“Talking with Mrs. Stacy made me truly realize that… I don’t care what people say anymore. I’ve lived my whole life with people telling me that I’m not enough, thinking that nobody loves me and that I’d have to hide who I am to be liked. When I came to Avonlea, I saw that it wasn’t true, that I could be loved for who I am and people wouldn’t be ashamed of me. Now, all that matters to me is the people who love me-like Mrs. Stacy- and will accept all the courses I take in life and that I should only place weight on their words. I realize now that if I could tune out the girls at the asylum, I can tune out gossiping old biddies too, as long as I have you by my side.”

“So, does that mean I can hold your hand?” he asked, eyes mirthful and smile wide.

“Yes, Gilbert,” she laughed, shaking her head. “That means you can hold my hand, but I have a better idea. So the town doesn’t talk.” She laced her arm through his, elbows together like chain links. She placed her other arm on top of his, pulling him forward. He held the bag of flour in his other arm.

“See? Much more proper,” she added with a nod.

“If you say so, Anne-girl.”

“We’d better get going. What would Marilla assume if we were late?” she teased, knowing that Marilla trusted both of them with her life.

As soon as they were out of the shaded sanctuary of wood that Mrs. Stacy home provided, soon enough they heard the gasp that Anne had been bracing herself for. Mrs. Andrews, who was watering her petunias in the garden, let out a surprised(but not upset) “Oh!” She wiped her hands and headed out, no doubt to go and gab about it to Mrs. Lynde or Mrs. Pye. Many more stared at them after that.

Half of them gawked in disapproving. Anne Shirley, the speckled redheaded orphan, with Gilbert Blythe, the town’s most beloved and most handsome boy? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Paris? What happened to the beauteous and amiable Winifred? No doubt, the uncouth Shirley must’ve corrupted him too. Best get him off the wrong track and get him with the right sort again, they whispered. Amongst the naysayers were Mrs. Sloane, Mrs. Boulter, even Mrs. Pye, though Tillie and Josie were nothing but happy for them. Charlie had already expressed his displeasure at their courtship, attempting many a time to win her heart himself.

The other half was the supportive half, the ones that looked at them and saw nothing but two of the friendliest and most caring people in town in love with each other. Mrs. Gillis smiled at them with a nod of her head, seeing the same look in their eyes as when her Ruby looked at young Mr. Spurgeon. Mrs. Andrews ecstatic to see that free spirited and untrammeled Anne could be in a serious relationship as well as be an educated woman, even Mrs. Barry accepted it grudgingly, knowing that her Diana would be nothing but supportive of her bosom friend. Anne tried to focus on these people, the ones who stood behind her, though it was hard to block out the hushed whispers and glaring stares. Gilbert seemed to notice, presenting her with an adoring and encouraging smile.

After about a half hour of procrastinating returning home, they reached Green Gables and it was time for them to bid each other adieu till dinner.

“Time to part ways,” he whispered, letting go of her hands gently, if reluctantly.

“I wish you could come in with me,” she admitted, her tone gentle and unwilling. “But I’m sure Bash and Alex are waiting with plenty of mocking to do.”

“I’m sure they are,” he laughed softly, before kissing each of her cheeks, then the tops of her knuckles with a mischievous smile.

“Till tonight, Miss Shirley-Cuthbert,” he whispered, backing away slowly while waving to her.

She fluttered her fingers back at him, staring at his figure disappear off the long dirt roads. “Till tonight.”

_______________

Gilbert walked back to his house, bracing himself all the way, trying not to think about Bash’s dancing prematurely. Just as he opened the door, wincing when it creaked, he was greeted with Bash and Delly waiting for his arrival at the kitchen table. The door to the guest bedroom was closed so he assumed Alex was resting after the long ride.

“Blythe,” Sebastian greeted, his smile growing wider by the second. “You would not believe who came by here just 30 minutes ago.”

“Who might that be?” he asked in a nonchalant voice.

“Rachel Lynde, comin’ ‘round tellin’ me that you and Ms. Anne were holding hands in town today!”

“Yes, and?”

“You know what! And I have to get up for this because basically, it means that I win! I win! You love her, I win!” He got up abruptly, moving his arms and shaking his hips, dancing badly to no particular tune. Gilbert rolled his eyes and went to pick up his niece.

“Delly, your daddy’s being real silly right now,” he hummed, running a hand through the tufts of long jet black hair on her head. “Dancing around like a fool.” He shot a purposeful glare at his brother, who shrugged and grinned.

“Oh Blythe, you cannot call me a fool. Not when you’ve been dancing around like a mook also. Dancing around your feelings, that is. Both of you.”

Gilbert chuckled deeply, running a hand through his curls. “Yes, we have.”

____________________________

Anne sat at the lunch table with Matthew and Marilla, just now noticing how much she had taken the homely comfort of Green Gables for granted. She’d never known how much she loved her seat at the table until she was sitting in a foreign boarding house dining room. She’d never valued the comfortable silence(from Marilla and Matthew’s side, Anne was always chattering) that hung over the table until the awkward silence between the girls and ‘Mang’- as they called her behind her back- was a gloomy presence in the room. They had forged a friendship with Lily, and Anne was learning sign language from her. They hade forgone curfew many times on the weekends, Lily always warding off Mrs. Blackmore from visiting their rooms.

“So, how has Queens been?” Marilla asked, taking a bite of her bread and meat.

“It’s positively phenomenal!” Anne gushed. “All the girls are so nice and I’ve made new friends and I love my teachers! I’ve found a kindred spirit in my English teacher, Miss Aimee. She says that if I am to advance in my studies and apply for scholarship, I could be in Redmond next year! Oh, can you imagine your freckled Anne of Green Gables, a small town girl, attending college with the intelligent city girls and rich and educated debutantes?”

“Well now, I think you’d fit right in. You’ve sure got the skills up here,” Matthew replied, tapping a finger to the side of his head.

“Matthew’s right,” Marilla concurred decisively. “Your wealth or your beauty have no place being a standard for Redmond girls. You’re a smart girl, Anne, if a little talkative.”

“Of course, there still is the matter of receiving the scholarship, though I am confident I have a high chance of being selected. After all, since Gilbert is off at Toronto, the competition is limited. Although now that I ponder it, Jane isn’t much far behind me, she’s an awful hard worker. Neither is Priscilla. I’ll have to work as hard as I can to get the Avery!” she declared. Matthew and Marilla exchanged a look.

“Uh, Anne,” Marilla started nervously. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Your… courtship with Gilbert.” Marilla cleared her throat, the entire family flushing red at once.

“Uh, uhm, barn!” Matthew spluttered abruptly, stumbling out the door in an all but sprint, though it was nowhere near harvest.

“What… about it?” Anne stuttered, blushing like a strawberry and desperately trying to hide herself through the curtain of long red hair.

“I trust that you are being… proper?” Marilla confirmed meekly. She knew this day would come and she had already set her ground rules with Gilbert through a very stern letter in advance.

“Define proper,” Anne quipped sharply, not knowing whether she meant a more progressive version of proper or Rachel Lynde’s proper.

“Anne, I don’t mind a few… ahem, embraces. Perhaps even kisses. But I’m trusting you not to stray too far beyond that. Not until you are married.” It amazed Anne how Marilla could take about marriage with Gilbert as if it was a given and it confounded her even more how she wasn’t as averse to it as she thought she would be. When she thought about being a bride, Gilbert’s bride, no feelings of mortification came to the surface. The butterflies erupted in her stomach and her imagination took over, placing pleasant fancies in her head that she had to shake out.

“Of course, Marilla. You can trust us. No impropriety shall enter our sacred relationship until we may possibly, someday, in the far future, be wed.” Anne hoped it wasn’t too far in the future.

“Anne, I have one more question.”

“Yes?”

“On the topic of… marriage, I know you were so steered away from the idea. I’ve been wondering… have your opinions changed any? With Gilbert? You two seem so happy and I can’t help but wonder…” Marilla thought that marriage was definitely on the table for them, but she had thought about it for herself with John too. She only hoped Anne’s story would end up different than hers.

“I think that I’m not so averse to marriage. Being with someone romantically, it’s pleasant, more so than I expected. So yes, I do think that with the right person, marriage could be a possibility for me.”

“And with… Gilbert?”

“Honestly? The thought sends butterflies to my stomach, Marilla! It makes me dizzy with possibility and gives me this wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling. It may be too soon to tell, but someday, in the far future, perhaps.”

“Good,” Marilla nodded, nervous.

“Good,” Anne repeated, equally embarrassed.

Marilla straightened and brushed off her emotion, it simply wasn’t sensible for her to worry over these things this early!

“Now, I’ll thank you to start on the pies!”


	7. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dinner!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey guys!!! A chapter in 2 days, can you believe it??? Feel free to comment your thoughts about this chapter(constructive criticism is welcome) and theories for future chapters. Don't be a silent reader!

**_When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful  
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight_**

Anne looked at herself in the mirror nervously. She gave her body a onceover. She shook her head and changed into another dress, this time a light pink with red ribbon at the collar and waist, given to her by Cole(along with the green dress she adored), insisting that this shade would flatter her. It was imperative she looked beautiful(or however close an ugly redheaded snippet could get) for this dinner.

“No, no, no!” she moaned. “I’m a redhead! Why would he even think that I could wear pink?” She slipped out of this dress and changed into a beautiful evening gown that she had bought with some writing contest prize money and she knew it was the one. It was a beautiful ivory gold, the fabric having the most beautiful sheen. The entire dress had patterns of black flowery lace. It accentuated her curves, making her waistline looking small. From the waist, it flowed out in rolls of gold and black to the floor. The waistline had a gold adorned ribbon that literally and figuratively tied the outfit together.

She smiled in satisfaction, indulging a childish whimsy and twirling around once in her black boots.

“Hair, what to do with you?” she murmured, picking up her silver comb and running it through her thick hair. She decided to braid half her hair into a crown surrounding her head, tucking a few cherry blossoms into the thick folds. She did the remaining hair into a loose braid down her back, tucking more flowers into the voluminous braid.

“Anne!” Marilla called from downstairs, her tone half amused and half irate. “Stop your preening and come down right now! Gilbert is here!” Was it that time already? Her eyes widened and she quickly let a couple strands escape the braid to frame her face and blew out the candle in her room, descending the stairs slowly, being sure not to slip on the long dress. It was so much more convenient in her short dresses. She could run about and play in those.

Meanwhile Gilbert was graciously greeting his host, shaking Matthew’s hand(whose grip was particularly firm and look a little more threatening on the kind man’s face) and thanking Marilla for hosting the dinner.

“Marilla, this is Alexander Whitmore, my roommate at U of T.”

“Pleased to meet you,” he greeted the older lady sweetly. “Although, Anne didn’t mention her mother was so young!” he complimented cheekily, making the older lady blush.

“Oh, maybe at heart,” she replied. Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Gilbert swiveled and could’ve died happy right there at the angelic sight in front of him. Anne was descending the stairs smiling shyly, waving to him. He barely registered his hand waving back lamely, nothing compared to the goddess before him. In a butter colored dress covered with black chantilly lace, she looked like Aphrodite herself, come down from heaven to bless him, a mere mortal, with her presence. Her sunset hair was partially pinned up and partially braided, cascading down her back, ice blue eyes eager and earnest.

“Keep your mouth closed, Blythe. You might catch flies,” Bash jibed, nudging him playfully.

Gilbert ignored him, still utterly starstruck. Even Marilla chuckled slightly at the boy, recollecting a moment from so many years ago.

Instead of Anne and Gilbert, for a moment she saw John in a dapper suit, extending his arm out to her about 45 years ago, escorting her to an event in Charlottetown, for some reason taken with her just as much as Gilbert was taken with Anne. Back then, she hadn’t the foggiest why a boy would worship her as such, but looking at his son, she thought that she had some semblance of how love worked. It didn’t matter how much you thought you didn’t deserve it, that person saw you for every mite of beauty in you and thought you perfect for everything, just as Marilla had done with John and vice versa. It had always been her life long regret that she didn’t run to him back then, but now, looking at Anne and Gilbert, she thought it may have been for the best.

“Anne, you look… exquisite,” he breathed, looking her up and down with shining hazel eyes and an open heart. Realizing that it was the chivalrous thing to do, he stumbled up to her to offer his arm to her.

“Thank you, Gilbert,” she giggled awkwardly, taking his outstretched hand. “You look E-X-Q-U-I-S-I-T-E too.”

“Well, we’re waiting for Muriel, Rachel, and Thomas now,” Marilla announced. Soon enough they arrived and all the 8 people sat at the table eating Marilla and Anne’s mouth-watering feast, Bash feeding Delphine a version of her own baby-safe mashed potatoes every couple seconds. Mrs. Stacey was helping him, wiping Delly’s mouth every minute or so.

“This food is delicious, Miss Cuthbert and Anne,” Alex praised. “I haven’t had a home cooked meal since I left for Toronto.”

“Thank you, Alexander,” Marilla replied. “And please, call me Marilla. Everyone does.”

“You’re a little gentleman and no mistake!” Rachel exclaimed, swooning and cooing as if she were talking to Delphine and not a seventeen year old that towered a foot over her.

“So, Anne and Gilbert,” Rachel started, getting straight to the point. “Of course, I’ve heard about your courtship.”

Anne’s eyes grew wide and panicked and she braced herself for any scathing criticism. “Mrs. Lynde, I-”

“And I have to say, it’s about time!” she declared. Anne opened her mouth and closed it again, even her not having a response to the proclamation.

“I… beg your pardon?” Gilbert puzzled, his eyebrows furrowing in bafflement.

“I said it’s about time! You two have been circling around each other like those bees you adore so much for ages now! Why, I saw it coming since you left for the steamer, Gilbert! I said to Thomas, mark my words, those two will be married someday. Didn’t I Thomas?” She sought confirmation from her husband who nodded placidly and said, “Yes, dear.” Anne and Gilbert were both blushing and stealing bewildered and embarrassed looks at each other from beside each other.

“I knew I wasn’t going mad back then!” Sebastian cheered, grinning blithely at the couple. “Anyone with eyes could see it. You two were gone for each other, even back then. That’s why I knew that tryst of yours with Miss Rose wouldn’t last.”

“I’m sure not everyone could see it. We weren’t even remotely close to friends till Gil returned!” Everyone noted the unabashed use of her special nickname for him.

“No, I’m pretty sure all of us could. As much as some of the little people in town don’t like it, I was talking to Mrs. Pye and she saw this coming, though she unfortunately hoped that Gilbert would’ve stayed with that heiress. I simply didn’t agree. I told her, ‘Lucille, you would really stand in the way of true love? You know better than anyone how economic propositions shouldn’t affect marriages, it befell your own daughter!’ I didn’t think it got through to her, even when that horrible Andrews boy tried to rob her honor so crassly. The Pyes have been nothing but trouble. I’m glad that young Josie got it through to her to be a nice girl!”

Anne gawked in disbelief. “You can’t possibly be serious! About our courtship, I mean. Not about dearest Josie.”

“No, not a word was a lie, dear Anne. Everyone knew you loved each other before you two did,” Rachel swore solemnly.

“I agree,” Mrs. Stacy chimed in, shrugging from beside Delphine.

“Mrs. Stacy, what a treacherous betrayal!” Anne accused lightheartedly. “Et tu, Brute?”

“Especially me, Anne. But it wasn’t an educator’s place to give advisements on the matters of the heart back then. I can speak my mind now as your friend, not your teacher,” she said sagely, yet a smile spread over her face anyways.

“I wonder… how long did Gilbert have feelings for Anne before they got together?” Alex mused thoughtfully, looking at the boy expectantly.

“I too wonder,” Mrs. Stacy agreed. Suddenly, all eyes were on the dark haired boy, waiting for a response. Even Anne was looking at him, somewhat interested, her pink lips smirking slightly.

“If I’m being honest… the moment she came to Avonlea and smashed her slate over my head.”

“I can believe it now, however impossible it may have seemed back then,” Anne remarked. “I attacked him in a vicious display of brutality and furiousness and this-this boy smirks at me with his infuriatingly handsome smile and looks at me as if I had just offered him half my favorite cake!”

“Infuriatingly handsome, huh?” Sebastian coaxed, trying to get a rise out of the girl.

She only blushed.

“Marilla, Matthew,” Gilbert started from next to Anne, swallowing a mouthful of food and dabbing his mouth with a napkin politely. “Moody came around telling me that a couple of them were going to the ruins today at 8:30 and they were wondering whether Anne, Alex, and I could come before I have to leave early tomorrow. What I’m asking is, would it be alright if I escorted Anne to this… gathering?” Anne’s eyes lit up and looked at Marilla pleadingly.

Marilla nodded in pondering and gave him a dubious look. “And who’s going?”

“Moody, Charlie, Diana, Ruby, Jane, Josie, and Tillie.”

“Respectable crowd,” she thought out loud. “Alright, I’ll allow you to go. But I’m trusting you to be sensible at this… affair.” Rachel’s brow furrowed.

“Are you sure, Marilla? You know young people these days. Doing non-Christian things right and left! Just the other day in Carmody, I saw a young college girl embracing a man and no ring on her finger either!” she exclaimed, Anne and Gilbert looking crestfallen, looking to Matthew or Marilla to defend them.

“I trust Anne and Gilbert. They are two very sensible children and quite frankly, Rachel, your views about courtship are very old fashioned,” Marilla rebuked, making Rachel look at her indignantly.

“Well!” she harrumphed, hand drawn to her heart in offense and dramatics. “Well, well, well! And what do you think of this matter, Matthew?” Matthew looked like a deer caught in the lights of one of those ostentatious car machines that some rich folk in the city owned(Marilla never saw the point in those. Why need some highfalutin electric contraption when the old fat mare could get you to town just fine? The loud contraption was not serviceable in the slightest!). He couldn’t run off to the barn right now.

“Well now, Anne’s pretty responsible and Gilbert’s a good sort of boy, so I suppose… it’s alright.”

__________________

After changing into a more comfortable flowy green organdy dress and unraveling the braids in her hair, Anne set out with Gilbert for the ruins, hands interlocked and swinging gaily as they walked. Alex was trailing slightly behind them as he had to grab something from his room at the orchard.

“I guess this would be a do over for the last time we were there,” Gilbert chuckled, taking the opportunity to peck her on the cheek.

“I wonder every single night, Gilbert Blythe, what was going on in your mind? What possessed you to make love declarations-very cryptically, may I add- to an inebriated girl, knowing that both of your fates rested on her answer? Moreover, why would you assume that whatever I rambled -I couldn’t remember most of it in the morning- was an immediate no?”

“You were drunk?” he asked, slightly amused. “What would Mrs. Lynde say, Anne?”

“Oh, forget her,” she scowled good-naturedly. “It’s not going to become a habit, don’t worry. Charlie Sloane had smuggled some of his father’s homemade moonshine. It was rather unpleasant, actually. I don’t know why I had so much of it. Now, answer my questions!”

“I don’t honestly know why I did that. I guess I just wanted guidance and you’ve always been one of the smarter and encouraging people in my life, save for the first couple weeks. It’s not exactly easy as pie choosing between your dream school and the one you love most, especially when you have no semblance of whether she loves you back.”

“But you chose me,” she pointed out. He slipped his hand around her shoulders, pulling her closer as she half-leaned against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple as they walked along.

“That I did, faerie queen.”


	8. Blank Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night at the ruins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WAS SO FUN TO WRITE. I'm pairing 2 flirtatious babies...

When they arrived, Alex, Anne, and Gilbert were met with an astounding chorus of voices. It seemed that they were the last ones to arrive. Everyone was sitting on the grass outside of a roaring fire, not caring a mite about the chilly air. People were talking animatedly and Moody’s head was on Ruby’s lap as she played with his silky brown hair and murmured something to Diana.

Alex was beckoned over to sit by Josie and Anne took a seat next to Gilbert, Diana at her other side. Before Diana could slide over to be closer to Anne however, Charlie slid into the seat beside her, a little to close for Anne’s liking.

“Hello, Anne,” he greeted with an expectant smile on his face. Anne, a little unnerved, scooched closer to her beau, who wrapped a protective arm around her, challenging Charlie to come closer to her and pay for it. Charlie looked meeker now, excusing himself and stuttering something about getting a drink of water. That didn’t stop him from making eyes at the supple red head all of the night.

“Looks like I’m not the only one with a two boy problem,” Tillie snickered from the left of Josie. Jane elbowed her hard in the ribs, rolling her eyes.

“At least Anne knows whom she loves,” Jane jibed, snorting at Tillie’s antics. “Any progress on that, Tillie?”

“No,” she mumbled, frowning and blushing.

“I should think so. Didn’t Paul A. write you quite a romantic love note about your… ahem, voluptuous figure? It was obvious that he was very glaringly alluding to your bosom, Tillie. You are quite a shapely woman.”

Tillie looked mortified and looked around to make sure that no boys had heard her as Jane doubled over in laughter, clutching her stomach and wiping her eyes jollily.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Josie proposed, a mischievous smile on her face and eyeing Alex next to her with intent(he didn’t seem too opposed to it either, smirking at the flirtatious femme). Jane’s eyes lit up and she nodded, Tillie also grinning from ear to ear. Even Diana was in, craving some good and blithesome fun after spending the day with her uptight family and Minnie May’s irksome antics.

Ruby bit her lip, looking around nervously. “Are you sure? We don’t want to be too improper…”

“Oh, live a little, Rubes!” Jane encouraged. Ruby looked at her all her best friends having a jolly time before letting loose.

“Okay. Okay!” she repeated, more sure the second time. “In fact, I’ll start!” A cheer erupted through the group, Moody craning his neck to kiss her on the cheek lovingly. 

“Okay, you get up to three passes.”

“Wait just a minute,” Charlie announced. “Let’s make it more interesting. If you skip, you take a drink of this…” He pulled out a hefty bottle of moonshine. The group buzzed with exhilaration, a sort of infectious and feverish buzzing of youthful rebellion. After all, a healthy dose of adventure never hurt anyone once in a while.

“I must say, I do prefer your company to Zachary’s.” That got a laugh out of Gilbert, a slight smile out of Anne(who had heard all about him), and some baffled and blank looks from all other involved parties. “I never would’ve taken you lot for so naughty,” Alex said, though his tone was more pleased than rebuking. “But I guess I was proven wrong.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Moody replied smartly. “C’mon, Ruby. Who’re you asking first?”

“Diana!” she called out, smiling a radiant and full toothed grin, crystal blue eyes wide and shining. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she said cautiously. 

“Have you ever been kissed?” Diana’s olive toned skin darkened a shade, her looking down. 

“Besides that time with Moody playing spin the bottle?” Diana asked.

“Yes,” she said snippily, scowling a bit at the memory, unnecessary jealousy rising to the surface a bit as she recalled his doting adoration of the girl for much of their time at the schoolhouse.

“Yes,” she mumbled, a slight smile on her face. All the girls instantly roared with squeals and giggles and Ruby eased a bit when she saw that Diana had clearly paid no mind to Moody anymore.

“Really?!” Jane shrieked. “Do tell us who!” She cupped her face with her hands in interest. 

“Ah-ah-ah,” the dark haired beauty sang. “Only one question. Now, I do believe it is my turn.”

Jane groaned in disappointment. “Fine,” she grumbled. “But when it’s my turn, be prepared!” 

“Moody,” Diana said slyly, a glint of diablerie shown across her tawny features. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he hesitated, knowing that either option would be mortifying. He was pale in the face and wincing in anticipation. 

Diana, taking a little mercy on the lovable bumbling soon-to-be minister said, “I dare you to hold Ruby’s hand for the rest of the game.” Moody almost fainted in relief, taking Ruby’s hand in his. After her mother had found out of their courtship, she’d dispelled any falsities she had told Ruby about reproduction being topical and though Gilbert and Alex were the only ones who knew how it exactly worked(being medical students and all), the rest of them were less in the dark about the entire process.

“Is that all? Thank goodness!” 

Jane yawned with exaggeration, rolling her eyes. 

“You guys are such a bore,” Josie exclaimed. “Well, it’s your turn, Moody.” Moody, determined to be more interesting with his questions and commands, called on Charlie.

“Charlie,” he boomed, looking at the lanky boy. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he announced proudly, putting on airs of being bold. “Do your worst.”

“I dare you… to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.” There were mixed reactions to this. Jane, Tillie, and Josie looked extremely intrigued in his response as there was finally some drama happening. Ruby and Anne only clung tight to their beaux and hoped they weren’t picked and Diana looked positively appalled, wishing she had gone harder on Moody.

Charlie’s eyes flitted to Anne, who paled even beyond her ivory complexion. She leaned in and whispered something to Gilbert.

“Gilbert, I-” she started to say worriedly when he squeezed her against him comfortingly.

“I know. He won’t try anything with the two of us to give him trouble.” She was inspired by these words, as she looked the gangly boy right in the eyes and gave him something to worry about.

“Choose very wisely, Charlie,” Anne threatened, her pearl eyes cold as ice and flashing with vexation and her lips curled into a minacious sneer. It didn’t help his case when he looked at her beau right beside her, glowering something fierce at him(but also somehow looking extremely proud of his sweetheart beside him.)

“I… I think I’ll pass,” he gulped. Josie just grinned innocently and handed him the bottle. Afterwards, she let her hand hang loose, brushing Alex’s hand quite intentionally. He noticed, looking at her with a crooked yet charming grin.

“Oops,” she mouthed, but didn’t make a move to move her hand. Neither did he, for that matter. 

“Drink up, Charlie,” He took a big gulp, wincing at the burning aftertaste. “Now who are you asking?”

“Umm, Jane?” 

“I choose truth.”

“Who’s the better friend? Josie or Tillie?” Jane pouted, looking at her two best friends in chagrin.

“How can you possibly ask me to choose? They’re both like my sisters! Give me the bottle,” she whinged, taking a lazy swig and wiping her mouth inelegantly. 

“Anne,” she said, gesturing to the girl lazily. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Anne responded unsurely, not wanting to tell them something embarrassing, as she knew that they would probably interrogate her on her new relationship.

“I dare you… to kiss Gilbert. Right now and right in front of us.” Anne blushed, looking up at him through long auburn lashes. Then she realized, she had gotten an easy way out! This was something she could do with no inhibition now, no fear of people seeing or judging because all her friends were supportive the moment they got wind of it.

“Easy enough,” she shrugged, before grabbing at his coat lapels and pulling him downwards, giving him a mindblowing kiss in front of all her close friends, entangling her fingers in his hair. He definitely was responsive, wrapping his hands around her hips and pulling her closer. Everyone whooped and hollered, all except for Charlie who scowled. 

When she pulled away, she sported an angelic smile, leaning against Gilbert and winking at Diana, who’s mouth was agape that her bosom friend hadn’t told her that she behaved in such a manner with her beau! Even Diana had never kissed Jerry in such a passionate fashion.

“Oh, this is nothing,” Alex proclaimed. “You should’ve seen their display at Charlottetown.” He grinned devilishly at Gilbert, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Ooh,” Josie giggled. “Anne’s been holding out on the details.” She smirked suggestively, trailing off while curling a single ringlet around her finger.

“Alex,” Anne growled. “I am going to get my revenge and it will be perfectly delightful as strawberries on a summer day. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“If you could court one person in this room, who would it be?” He pretended to think about it, though he knew just who had caught his eye the entire night. A certain fearless, sarcastic, and classic blonde. She hadn’t been very reticent expressing her interest and frankly, he didn’t mind it. He had never been one to buy into his family’s old fashioned views. Girls shouldn’t have to be meek and mild-mannered, they should be free to do everything men do, like go courting for a long time without being called harlots, vote, wear trousers, and so much more. The status quo was pretty exhausting, if he was being completely frank. His sisters were so conforming to it that they were entirely boring.

“If I’m being honest, the answer is pretty obvious,” he said nonchalantly, a smile playing on his face. “The answer is… Gilbert.” He grinned childishly, obviously not serious, as everyone rolled their eyes and let out whines of annoyance.

“Are you serious, Alex?” groaned Anne. “The entire point is to be genuine!”

“Fine,” he huffed. “The most beautiful person in this room-although all of you are splendid- for me at least, is most definitely and unequivocally the lady next to me.” Ruby looked unusually affrighted as she desperately hoped that he meant Josie and not her. 

“Which one? You have two, genius,” Gilbert pointed out. “And one of them is taken already.”

“Do I really have to say it? It’s embarrassing and I feel like I’m in primary school telling Gerta Summers to check yes or no if she likes me,” he whined, pouting. 

“Say it. Out loud,” Jane said evilly. “I bet someone will be quite pleased.” Josie shot Jane a glare, silently telling her to stop humiliating her on the off-chance he didn’t mean her.

“Alright, it’s Josie. Happy?” 

“Very,” Anne replied, an evil glint in her eyes as she looked at Josie for a response, as did everyone. 

“What? You want me to respond?” Josie wondered nonchalantly, playing it completely cool and icy. 

“Yes!” Jane said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Okay,” she responded coyly, looking at Alex with a small smile, summoning all the allure she could muster. “Let’s just say… My father and I will be expecting your letters.”

“Sounds good with me,” he replied, giving her a heart melting smile.

_______________________

After hours of festivities, everyone had branched off, leaving Gilbert to walk Anne home. Unfortunately for him, she was quite a state. 

“Gilberttt,” she giggled, prolonging the word. “Hello.”

“Hello,” he replied, a little amused. 

“Where are we going, Gilbert?” she said, slurring her words.

“We’re going back to your house, Anne-girl. I thought you knew that.”

“Oh…” she frowned before wrapping her coat tighter around herself. “It is really terr-terribly frigid. I hope we don’t have much longer.”

As if automatically, he took his coat off his body and swiftly wrapped it around her. “No, it’s just a couple minutes.”

“But, but, you’ll be cold…”

“I’m used to it, Anne-girl. I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to catch your death.” He looked at her lovingly, taking her hand and leading her towards Green Gables.

“Hey Gilbert?” she hummed.

“Yes, Anne?” 

“You have a very nice chin. Very chiseled and profound.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “Thank you, Anne-girl.”

“You’re welcome.” 

There was a comforting silence before Anne murmured again, “Hey Gilbert?”

“Yes, Anne?” he laughed. He wished he had been there to see her like this the last time. She was the cutest drunk.

“You have a very nice jawline.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” she said, nodding once. “Do you have a sweetheart?” Gilbert could’ve burst out laughing then, but he decided to humor her clueless antics.

“I do, in fact. She’s absolutely perfect and quite possibly the most gorgeous woman in the world. She has the most beautiful luscious red hair that looks like a blazing bonfire in the night and the most beautiful pearly blue eyes that look like the universe, or my universe anyways. She has little golden freckles everywhere, like stars on her porcelain skin. I love her more than life itself.”

“She sounds beautiful, despite the red hair and freckles. I only wish I could be as gorgeous as her,” she sniffed, wiping a lone tear from her eye. “I wish you’d like me as much as her, Gil!”

“Oh, Anne-girl,” he breathed. “You have no idea.”


	9. Come Back...Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne misses Gilbert terribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anything to say, I just like author notes :)

**_And this is when the feeling sinks in  
I don't wanna miss you like this  
Come back, be here  
Come back, be here_ **

It was pitch dark outside and in the wee hours of morning, but Anne and Gilbert were still sitting on her porch, wrapped tight in blankets and steaming cups of coffee getting refilled every so often. Anne was sitting across from Gilbert, hair fluttering wildly in the wind. They had been up talking for hours now, from everything from old anecdotes to random thoughts that crossed their head to just sitting in comfortable silence and looking up at the stars. Anne sobered heavily over the hours passed.

“What time is it?” Anne wondered. Both of them were wide awake, livened by the coffee and each other’s presence.

Gilbert pulled a pocket watch from his coat and read out, “3:48.”

“Oh Gil, are you sure you don’t want to rest before the eight o’clock train? I won’t think any less of you for saying so.”

“Anne, I’m fine,” he insisted. “I want to get in as much time as I can with you before I have to go.”

“I’m glad,” she said in a small voice. “Because I won’t get to see you again till the holidays.”

“Think of the bright side. We’ll have two weeks all to ourselves, to spend with our families and with each other.”

“I guess you’re right… You know, I never anticipated having so much to talk about. I’ve never been pegged as a very fascinating person. Strange, but not fascinating.”

“On the contrary, I could hold a conversation with you for years. And it’s strange because just a moment ago, I had the strangest little thought. In the three years we’ve been acquainted, I’ve somehow picked up on all your moods and tells, but there’s still so much I don’t know about you. After all, our friendship was tentative after Trinidad. I know you so well, but I don’t know you at all. I think that’s one of the things I like best about you. You’re as unpredictable as the weather.”

“Oh come on now, Gilbert. You and I both know that Uncle Abe is practically a prophet,” she joked, both of them sharing a chuckle over it.

Anne moved herself to sit next to him, huddling in the blanket and leaning her head on his shoulder. He placed his head on hers and they talked for more hours, parting only after watching the sun rise over the pasture.

It was 6:45 when the sun was shining blindingly and the couple parted ways and snuck into their respective beds in their own houses, but not for long.

Anne saw him off at Bright River.

“Goodbye, Gil,” she bade, tears filling her eyes. “I love you. I… Write to me, okay?”

“Of course I will, Anne-girl. I love you so much.” He kissed her hair, both her cheeks, and then her lips, a sorrowful and tear stained affair. He then pulled her into a hug, strong arms squeezing her tight to his chest.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she wept, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “But then again, how will we ever have a future if you don’t have a job? My teaching salary will hardly keep for an entire family.”

He pulled away, a serious yet hopeful look in his shining hazel eyes. “Do you really mean it, Anne? That we might have a future...together?”

She simply smiled and blushed. “Goodbye, Gilbert.”

“Bye, Anne.” He pressed another long and scorching kiss to her lips before hopping on the train. Alex was already on the train, claiming he needed to get started on the letter as soon as possible. 

“I love you forever and always!” he shouted from the chugging steam engine, blowing a kiss to her as he was getting on.

“And I love you!” she replied, blowing a kiss back. Just like that, the train was riding away, taking half her heart with it. As soon as she started to walk back to the wagon waiting for her, the half of her ripped away was substituted with a gnawing numbness. A catatonic state of defense, blocking out the fact that she would sorely miss him, to save herself the pain.

On the long and silent ride to Avonlea with Matthew, the thoughts echoed through her mind as fast as the train that had taken him away from her. Unconsciously, she fiddled with the chain on her neck, the gem throwing rainbows as the rays of sun hit it.

Some vaguely cruel and humorous part of her chimed in with the thought that if someone had told her even just a year ago that she’d be pining over some boy (Gilbert Blythe for goodness sakes!), she would’ve dismissed them as thoroughly addled.

Matthew seemed to sense her dejection. Saying nothing, he placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it and giving her a kindhearted, if timid, smile. Tears welled in her eyes at even this simple gesture and she leaned against him as he directed the sorrel mare, Belle, to Green Gables, to home.

When they were home, Marilla asked if she would like to help make and frost some cakes for a gathering at the Barrys’ this evening.

Summoning a smile and willing it to stay there, she nodded, not having the heart to go on with her regular nattering.

As she measured out some flour, Marilla frowned. “You’re awfully quiet today. Is something wrong?”

“What?” Anne said, resurfacing out of her thoughts. “Oh, I’m fine, Marilla. Just a little… knackered.” It was half true. She did have a dreadful headache from the last night and the amount of alcohol involved.

“If you say so. I trust Gilbert and Alexander got on the train safely?”

“Yes, Gilbert and Alex… are just fine,” Anne answered. It was her who wasn’t fine. She was just fine the first time he left, but for some reason, spending real time with him, as his sweetheart greeting her beau when he came home for his family, for her, it had ignited a spark in her.

She’d known she loved him for months, but being completely washed with his adoring affection over the past day, it was a different feeling. There was no longer the aching longing stirring like sparks in the very deepest part of her soul as when she had no idea whether he returned her love or loved Winifred, now there was a whimsical and wondrous sense of fulfillment and contentment, pure and unadulterated happiness. There was still longing, lots of it, but it was a different sort. It wasn’t an ache of a schoolgirl crush, it was a fire, passionate and loving and consuming her.

But now that fire was sharply stamped out by that accursed train that carried him far far away from her. Just as she had started to fall, he was swept out from underneath her nose, leaving her to hit the cold hard ground. She knew his dream was going to a school like U of T, that it would all be for the best, but selfishly, she couldn’t help but wish that he was right here with her, trying desperately to cook something while she laughed at him burning a piece of toast or accidentally setting a serviette on fire. Or better, holding her close as they counted stars in the night sky or watched the sun rise over the shimmering Lake of Shining Waters. But he wasn’t.

Right now, he was on his way to Toronto to get his medical degree, taking another painstaking 3 and a half years of missing him intermittently. It would be the holidays before she could make more memories with him, then spring break, and then the summer, then they would repeat that for 3 more years.

So much could change in three years. After all, it had taken them three years to go from bitter enemies(On her side, if not his) to careful friends to lovers. She wondered what would change in those three years. Perhaps, would it take them 3 years to go from sweethearts to something else? Would it take three years for him to give her that sacred piece of jewelry on her slender finger? She hoped that transition might be a mite faster.

“Anne? Anne! Anne!” a voice snapped her out of her daydreams and Anne did a double take when she saw that the cup of sugar that she had been measuring had overflowed into the bowl ages ago.

“Oh my! Oh Marilla! I’m ever so sorry! Oh, the cake will be ruined!” As she rushed to try and salvage the batter somehow, Marilla watched her with a pondering and calculating look.

“Why were you so distant, Anne? I’m sure even a knackered person, as you would say, can see when they are wasting sugar as such.”

“You know how I am, dear Marilla! Always up in that head of mine! I was just imagining all the most splendiferous things to do with Diana and the others tonight! Mrs Barry always throws the most sumptuous parties! I’m so extremely thrilled!” she lied, trying to summon some of her regular moxie.

Marilla was smarter than her theatrics and shook her head, refuting her fibs with a sharp “Fiddlesticks!”

“But Marilla-”

“I thought I taught you not to fib in this house. It is a sin. Now, please tell me the truth.”

“Oh, but I am telling the truth! It is the absolute and complete truth,” she exaggerated, shaking her head solemnly. “Why would I lie to you, Marilla? What would I lie about?”

“Is it Gilbert?” Marilla asked knowingly, fixing the cake batter with a couple quick additions and mixes and raising up an eyebrow.

“No- well, yes,” she sighed, giving in and starting to mix up the batter for the third and final cake. As if she could hide anything from her observant mother figure! “But I don’t think you would understand, dearest Marilla.”

“I’m sure I can try, Anne. I’m not as wholly incompetent as you think,” Marilla retorted dryly, now buttering up a cake pan and igniting the fire below the oven.

“Of course that’s not what I meant, Marilla. I just don’t think that you could understand this particular matter of the heart.”

“I’m sure none of your friends could either, so try me, will you? It isn’t healthy for one to hold their feelings in.”

“Okay, alright,” Anne gave in, lifting her hand from the spoon to brush a lock of fiery hair behind her ear. “Have you ever loved somebody with such a passion, such a rush, that when they left, it felt like crashing from the very highest cloud to the cold and rock hard ground? You know that you are falling hopelessly, but it seems like they’re entire worlds away! You try and try not to miss them so, oh but Marilla, every aspect of their intoxicating self haunts you like a phantom in the dark of the Haunted Wood! You think to yourself that it isn’t a mite fair that they aren’t here with you, but you can’t get them back because that would be injurious to them. Then you wish you could go with them, but that would be ever so wicked and selfish to everyone around you. But always, they’re an ever present part of you and when they leave, all you want is for them to come back and hold you!”

Although Marilla was a bit shaken that her young daughter was talking about love in such a familiar and intense manner, she knew exactly what Anne was feeling. It was an echo of the feelings of almost 45 years ago.

It was an echo of Mar, come with me. We can build a life together. Let’s run away.

It was an echo of John, are you completely mental? I have Matthew and the farm. I can’t leave.

It was an echo of slamming the door on his crestfallen face and watching him slink away through the window, seeing the glint of a small gemstone in his pocket and blinking back the accumulating tears in his greenish hazel eyes, running to her dearest friend Rachel’s house through the back gate and collapsing in a heap of tears and hysterics in her friendly and sympathetic embrace because What had she done? and I’ll never see him again and What ifs.

“I know, Anne, I know.” Marilla’s eyes glazed over with something, even she wasn’t quite sure what. It may have been regret or longing or just plain and simple sadness, but whatever it was, it possessed her, someone who wasn’t fond of touchy sentimental things, to take Anne in her arms in a motherly and understanding embrace. Anne leaned down just a bit to rest her cheek on the older woman’s shoulder.

They weren’t sure how long they stood like that, but one thing was for sure. It seemed Marilla’s wondrously immaculate stitching was at work once again because slowly, both of the gaping holes in their hearts started to mend.


	10. Fight Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy tries to start trouble with Anne, but gets what he deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short filler, but Billy meets my good friend karma.

Anne roamed around the Barrys’ party boredly, sipping raspberry cordial every so often and taking a bite of a tart. The gathering was much larger than she had expected, so she was yet to encounter one of her friends. Like a gracious host, Diana had greeted her at the door, but was stolen away by her parents to meet a ‘prospective suitor’, Fred Wright, a short and squat man who was red as a cherry. Diana had rolled her eyes and bade Anne farewell until she could return from the torturous greeting.

She walked around the room, trying to spot someone, something of interest. Jane was struck up in a conversation with a girl she didn’t know and didn’t care to interrupt their talk. Ruby and Moody were in a corner chatting and from the way Ruby was eyeing him, she did not want to be the third wheel in that situation unless she wanted to be sick to her stomach.

Sighing dismally, she exited the stuffy room to go into the Barrys’ enchanting rose garden, floating out the building like an apparition of a lost princess.

Outside, she froze as she saw who was already there. Luckily, they didn’t notice her, so she scampered behind a large bush, listening to their obscene gossip.

“I can’t believe that he chose her,” the brutish blonde boy said, his companions laughing raucously. “It’s hard to believe we were ever friends!”

“Yeah, bud,” Paul A. agreed, nodding his head mindlessly to whatever Billy wanted his lackeys to agree with. “Ugly orphan.” And in that moment, she didn’t have a doubt in her mind about who they were talking about.

“Who the hell would choose Fido over Winifred? She was a proper bombshell! He could’ve gone to the Sorbonne!”

“And she was a Charlottetown girl!” Paul C. cackled unbecomingly.

“I got a couple of those myself,” Billy bragged, as if leading girls on was a great feat. One boy clapped him on the back while the others made their approval clear. “They love me and they’re all loaded. I’ll probably drop Nettie next week, she’s a bit of a pug-face. Anyhow, as if the speckled orphan deserves Mr. Perfect himself!” Billy spat.

“I thought you didn’t like Gilbert?”

“I don’t! Everyone just thinks he’s so charming and perfect! It’s always ‘Oh, look at Gilbert! Billy, why can’t you be more like Gilbert?’ Why does everyone love him so much anyways?”

“Maybe because he gets good grades. And my sister says he’s ‘dreamy’, whatever that means. And he’s a kind person and-” Charlie stated bluntly.

“Shut up, Charlie!” Billy shouted and the boy went silent immediately.

Anne started to step away, but winced as her boot came down sharply on a branch. Billy heard this and grinned evilly, walking slowly away from his friends.

“Looks like we have a visitor, boys!” Billy sang sickly, running to the spot where Anne was hiding. He discovered her as white as a ghost, standing behind a rose bush.

“Fido! What a pleasant surprise!” he sneered, mouth curling into a sick snarling scowl.

Anne tried to escape back into the building. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m-” The boy pushed her back in front of him.

“No, why don’t you stay? You know, I never got to pay you back for how you slandered Prissy’s reputation on the very first day.”

“But it was true! It’s not slander if it’s true!”

“That doesn’t matter. The point is, I want my revenge and this time, lover boy isn’t here to slay your dragons for you.”

“You stay away from me, William Andrews!” Anne threatened, raising her arm in defense as he edged closer to her, backing her into a corner.

There was an evil glint in his eyes as he said, “Boys, why don’t you give Fido and I some quality time, huh?” The boys left them alone as he opened his mouth to say something vile.

He closed his fingers around her bony wrist as she struggled aimlessly, him getting so close to her that she could smell putrid and cheap alcohol on his breath. His arm started to creep towards her tiny waist as he smirked sickly.

“Billy,” a stone cold voice said from behind him. “Get away from her. Right now. Before I get your mother or worse, Prissy.”

Billy backed away(Prissy could tell all the girls at Redmond and Queens and that wouldn’t be good for his prospects) but stared the girl down with an intensity that could send shivers down the most brutal murderer’s spine. “Why should I do what you say, Josie? Especially after the last party. Do you remember that?”

She didn’t break a sweat as she looked him right in the eyes and said, “I do. I tried to erase all memories of your repulsive body from my mind, but alas, I couldn’t. What can you do when someone throws themselves at you like a lowborn boy?” She echoed his insults from so many months ago.

“Says you,” he snorted. “A pretty face doesn’t give you wealth.”

“And apparently, wealth doesn’t give you decency.”

“It’s not like you can stop me. You’re not any stronger than I am.”

“No, but I bet Anne and I combined are.”

Billy seemed to simmer down, but he still spluttered, “She owes me for what happened!” Josie’s temper flared at this and she took a step towards him.

“What?” she said coldly. “What does she owe you? She told you the truth about your sister.”

“But-”

“It happened 3 years ago. Are you so petty that you can’t let go of it?” Anne asked from the corner, double teaming the boy with Josie.

“But she-”

“She what? She made a childish mistake to gossip. If we were to get beaten for every trespass, you’d be a dead man by now, Billy,” Josie stated matter of factly.

“Anne’s right. Need I remind you of poor Cole’s wrist?” Anne asked, watching the boy getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

“Or when you broke the schoolhouse window?” Josie continued.

“Or our story club?”

“Or when you decided that I was a prize to be won? An object for the taking?”

“Those don’t mean anything. You all deserved it,” he scoffed, brushing them all off. That was it for Josie. Josie was a very confident person and she knew she didn’t deserve a single minute of his torture.

“Now that we’re on the subject, I actually owe you something,” Josie said, a condescending simper on her lips. Billy’s eyes lit up with perverse hope, thinking she was on a completely different track.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes,” she said sweetly, before clenching her fist and right hooking him in the face, her fist hitting his face with surprising intensity. His nose went a little crooked and gushed a brilliant crimson before Josie sashayed to Anne as he doubled over in pain and clutched his bleeding nose.

“Come on, Anne. Get some ice cream with me.”


	11. I'm Only Me When I'm With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne writes a letter to Gilbert, he has a very strong reaction.

**_Everything I need is right here by my side  
And I know everything about you  
I don't wanna live without you_ **

“And then, she punched him! Right in the face!” Anne bubbled excitedly to the girls as Josie’s face reddened.

“Serves him right,” Jane scoffed, glancing at her brother whose nose was suspiciously crooked. “Did you know that now he’s telling people that he tripped and landed on a root just because he didn’t want anyone to know that a girl hurt him?”

“Well, what’s wrong with being a powerful woman?” Ruby demanded proudly, puffing out her chest. “Billy was being a right barbarian!” There was a chorus of agreement amongst the group of friends.

“But girls, Mother says it’s awfully unbecoming to hit other people. She says that men know best about society and that women like Jane’s mother-sorry, Jane dear- need to stay out of it with their ‘newfangled concepts’ about feminism,” Diana said nervously, her lips downturned. “And I’d hate for any of us to be ostracized. Billy could ruin anyone in this group. The town would surely take his word for it.”

“Come on, Diana,” Anne urged, rolling her eyes. “I’m not a very violent person by any means, but he deserved it. He touched both of us without our permission and he’s been doing terrible things all of our lives.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Diana conceded, eyes cast downwards, still not fully convinced.

“Suppose?” Josie snapped, her eyes glimmering with disbelief. “Diana, this is a matter of bodily autonomy! Billy shouldn’t have any say in what we do with ourselves, especially when we’ve done nothing wrong! But I suppose girls like you don’t have problems like that when Daddy can solve your issues with a bank check.” An expression of hurt crossed Diana’s face at her snub and the rest of the girls frowned at Josie in disapproval.

Josie regretted what she’d said immediately after it had come out of her mouth. She sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Diana. You didn’t deserve that. It was callous and rude of me. I suppose I’m very passionate about this subject after it afflicted me. I’m still fragile regarding that whole incident.”

“You don’t seem it,” Tillie remarked with a thoughtful frown. “Not the way you were flirting with Alexander last night.”

“I was surprised at myself too,” she replied. “I hadn’t been able to get close to a boy for the first week or two, yet alone so audaciously flirt like I used to. Alex just… radiates everything that Billy didn’t. He’s tall, Billy’s short. His eyes are ocean blue, Billy’s are muddy brown. He’s charming, Billy’s vulgar. He’s considerate, Billy’s selfish. You get the idea. It was the first night I hadn’t gotten the nightmares, you know?”

Jane scowled a bit at how Josie was talking about her brother, though she hated to admit it was true.

“Billy can’t be that bad,” she said desperately, refusing to believe that her brother was capable of it. “I’ve never seen him act that way.”

“I have!” chimed in all the other girls at the same time.

“Point taken,” Jane grumbled.

“What’s this about nightmares?” Ruby asked, always the empathetic friend.

“Oh, um, after the… incident with him at the fair, I used to get nightmares about him doing it again,” she said uncomfortably. “Sometimes he’d try and take the job to completion and I’d wake up in tears.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Josie!” Diana exclaimed, holding the girl’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

“I’m sorry I was so rude to you, Diana,” she replied, wrapping her in a short side hug.

______________

Anne got home that night and immediately started to write her letter.  
 __

_To my past, eternity, and everything in between, Gilbert,_

_You may think me desperate for writing to you this soon, but I must admit that I miss you too much not to. I’m sitting in my gable room now, thinking of how to relay my emotions to you. It isn’t taxing in the slightest bit, you know how easily words come to me, especially with you around._

_I’m wearing my nightgown, the one that I splashed with water. I apologize for not returning your shirt, but I’m afraid I must have a keepsake of you beside me. I don’t know how I shall sleep without it or you in these times. I shall only give it back to you the next time we meet, where I shall surely exchange it for one of your other shirts. I can’t have your scent fading, can I? Of course, I’m sure I could go to Bash for some of your clothes(you mustn’t have taken all of them), but I’m deathly afraid of getting mocked to my wit’s end._

_Speaking of your scent, I’d like to take a quick moment to acknowledge how much I adore it. You smell of all the most beautiful and pleasant things. Apple blossoms are one of the prime contenders, along with a musky pine that mingles in the mix. How is it that you of all people manage to have such a sweet and natural fragrance without wearing any French perfumes or eaus like Diana or Ruby? My scent isn’t even half as sweet as yours, even when Diana loaned me some of her ‘eau de toilette’ when we were fooling with her beauty things two years ago. How young we were then! I remember feeling so scandalized when we snuck into her mother’s closet to try on corsets and wishing I was old enough to wear one. I was convinced I’d be a right Southern Belle! Now, I never wear one in the house, only when we go outside._

_Oh dear, I’m afraid it’s inappropriate to talk about a lady’s unmentionables with her beau, especially on the matter of what she’s wearing. Forgive me, Gilbert. Although I suppose you’re no stranger to this topic, considering what I’ve asked you to do in the past. Consider it our little skeleton in the cupboard? No pun intended._

_Something of the most preposterous nature happened tonight and I will be infinitely grateful to Josie Pye for being able to intercept it. You see, at the Barrys’ party(which was good fun), I went outside and saw puggish Billy, the Pauls, and Charlie out in the rose garden. Of course, I hid behind a bush so none of them saw me. They were saying reprehensible things about you and I, Gilbert. I tried to leave the scene, but I made a tad too much noise while doing so._

_This next part is where it gets dreadful._

_Billy caught me and his friends mocked me for a bit before he asked them to leave. That’s when I was awful fearful about what would happen. He lowered his face to be inches from mine, so close I could smell cheap whiskey on his breath. He must’ve been set drunk. He held down my arm and I was so sure I was done for when his arm got closer to the hem of my skirt, Gilbert._

_A guardian angel must have been keeping careful watch on me, because just at that moment, the most perfect person arrived, Josie Pye. She made a stunning display of taking him a peg down. Apparently, Josie’s adept comebacks were just what she needed to combat Billy Andrews. It was so fitting and I was so proud of dearest Josie for standing up to him considering their history. To go from fleeing and weeping at the county fair to being able to look him in the eye and tell him he is a bully is such growth!_

_He made a mannerless and extremely odious comment about her experience with him when she drew her fist back and gloriously punched him right in the nose!_

_I sound ever so unbecoming saying this, but dare I say, it satisfied me to see Billy get his just deserts, especially from Josie herself._

_At least in university, I won’t have to deal with deplorable Billy._

_Speaking of, I return to lonely and desolate Queens tomorrow. Of course, I have all my dear girlfriends and my lovely Diana, but I lack the others I love most; Marilla, Matthew, and of course, Mrs. Lynde._

_I jest, Gilbert. Of course the other is you, dearest. I’m sure that I’ve dispelled any confusion about my intentions in this courtship and I only hope you have the same intentions. I had a horrible lapse of sanity this morning in my intense missing of you. If every day feels as aching and lonesome as this one, I’m not sure how I can continue without you._

_On the bright side, I look forward to seeing Miss Aimee and Priscilla again, for she’ll be getting the results back from the placement test she gave me. If I passed that, she said that she’d transfer me over from the basic teaching level English class to the English class that the writing majors take, the one that is much more in depth._

_Yes, I know I’m supposed to be a teaching major, but I couldn’t resist! You know how much I love writing and languages! The only downside would be that it might take a bit more of my energy that could be spent on learning how to teach Geometry. I am a dunce at it. And I wouldn’t be able to be taught by Miss Aimee, but by Mrs. Irving. I do hope I pass all the same!_

_I hope all is well in Toronto. You must be settled by now. How are your classes going? I imagine they must be difficult, but you’re intelligent(a bit less than yours truly) and I know you’ll pass with flying colors! Don’t overwork yourself. I love you(it still gives me such a thrill to say that!)_

_Love,_

_Anne_

Gilbert’s eyes very briefly registered the letter after the 7th paragraph. He could barely see anything, for he was seeing red. A burning rage built inside of him, absorbing him like molten lava or a raging fire.

He tried to touch her. That perverted sadistic degenerate had tried to do the unspeakable with her! He had touched her, put his wicked and sinful hands over her pure and perfect body and it angered Gilbert to no end.

Placing the letter on the table with a thud, Gilbert threw his cabinet door open, letting the door slam against the wall with a satisfying crash and pulled out his empty suitcase, slamming it on the ground. He started pulling random outfits of clothes in when someone came in the room.

“Gilbert?” the voice said in confusion. By the accent, he could tell it was Alex. “What are you doing packing? We just got back a week ago.”

“‘M going to Avonlea.”

“What? Why? Did something happen? Are Anne and Josie and the others okay?”

“He touched her,” Gilbert growled, just folding his clothes more aggressively before tossing them in his bag. “That debauchee tried to… and I don’t think she knows what it...I have to-” He couldn’t fully get the words out. They tasted like poison in his mouth, bitter and acidic. It made bile rise in his throat. His jaw clenched in anger and eyebrows furrowed deep on his forehead,

“Slow down, mate,” Alex said, forcibly stopping his violent hands from tossing any more things in his bag and pulling him away to sit on a chair. “Okay, relax and tell me what happened.”

Gilbert grabbed the paper of his desk and indicated the portion he was worked up over. “Those two paragraphs.”

Alex gave a cursory read to the section and in a couple moments, he put it down and looked at Gilbert, eyes showing anger, yet his face was cool and composed.

“Whoever this Billy character is, he seems like a real unlicked cub, but it seems like Zia and Anne have it worked out.”

“Zia?” Gilbert asked, an eyebrow raised in mild amusement and distraction from the subject at hand.

“I mean, her name is Joe-zee, so I thought it fitting. She likes it,” he shrugged, before continuing, “Why are you going to Avonlea?”

“To make sure he never gets near her again,” Gilbert snarled, jaw clenched and fists balled up.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sure beating him to a pulp isn’t going to fix anything.”

“You’re wrong,” Gilbert said decisively.

“I don’t know about you Canadian blokes, but back home, murder was generally frowned upon.”

“A minor complication,” Gilbert shot back. “I’m afraid that she won’t be careful enough and let it happen again. Anne’s too trusting,” Gilbert shook his head and closed his eyes. “And Billy might try something with her. He needs to never touch her and if that means a repeat of the 1887 incident, so be it.”

“What incident?”

“Billy was hassling Anne and we got into a fight,” he shrugged.

“Gilbert, listen,” Alexander sighed, brushing a hand through his golden blonde hair. “Going over there isn’t going to solve anything. You know Anne better than anyone, do you really think she’s the kind of girl who needs you to swoop in and save her like some kind of damsel in distress?”

“No,” Gilbert admitted. “She’d probably resent me for thinking of her like that. But Billy can’t do that to her! To anyone!”

“I agree. It’s completely vile, but is beating him really going to solve anything? If he presses charges, they’re going to take his word for it, even though he completely deserves it. Then what? Then you get expelled from school and never fulfill your dreams or have any chance of being with Anne?” Alex demanded harshly, taking the concept of ‘tough love’ to heart.

“You’re right, but-”

“No ‘but’s. If you want to do anything, write back to Anne and tell her what you feel. Then, write a strongly worded letter to this Billy bugger and tell him to get the hell out of our girls’ lives!” he exclaimed emphatically with a decisive nod of his head.

“Our girls?” Gilbert said, smirking slightly. “Is it official already? After two letters?”

“Oh, shut up. And if you must know, it’s been more than two. My family has connections at the post office.”

“Of course they do.”


	12. Come In With The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert writes a letter, Anne finds out good and bad news, and Gilbert makes a decision.

**_Just know I'm right here hoping  
That you'll come in with the rain_ ** __

_Dear Billy,_

_Anne told me what happened and let's just say, you're lucky I wasn't there or you would not be awake right now._

_How dare you?! I can't believe I used to be friends with someone like you. First poor Josie, then Anne. I'm beginning to think Anne was completely right in writing that article about bodily autonomy so quickly because frankly, you need it. You're a selfish, vulgar, brutish boy who doesn't deserve the life you have. You deserve to be in prison right now, repenting for your sins against the entire female sex._

_I'll keep this short. If I ever hear about you acting this way again to any girl, especially my Anne, you had better hide because I will personally deliver you to the gates of Hell._

_With no respect,_

_Gilbert Blythe_

Billy scoffed reading Mr. Perfect's perfect writing and tore the letter in two, throwing it in the trash bin on his way out the door.

______________________

"So?" Anne asked nervously, closing her eyes tight and hoping for the best. In front of her stood Ms. Aimee, a young woman in her late twenties with light brown hair and sea green eyes. "Did I pass?"

The professor put on a solemn face and read out the results ominously. "Writing section... 97%." Anne let out a little squeal and bounced on her toes.

"And reading?" she said, holding her breath. If she had managed to get above a 90%, she would be able to move up to the upper class.

"Reading section... 99%! Ms. Aimee exclaimed, letting her joy for her student finally shine through. Anne whooped in joy, jumping in place. In the thrill of the moment, she threw her arms around her teacher, giving her a short hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Anne," Ms. Aimee congratulated once she pulled away.

"Thank you," Anne gushed. "My only qualm is that I won't be able to see you. Would it be alright if I visited you at your office every once in a while?"

"More than okay." Suddenly, a man burst in through the teacher's office door, an urgent look in his eyes and sadness etched into his features.

"Urgent telegram for Anne Shirley-Cuthbert," he announced. "Please, come with me." Anne looked at her teacher with confused blue eyes and followed him out. She was led to the school's telegraph room and handed a piece of paper.

FROM MS. MARILLA CUTHBERT

GREEN GABLES FARM

AVONLEA, PEI, CANADA

MATTHEW HAD A LAPSE OF THE HEART, IN CRITICAL CONDITION STOP DONT COME HOME, DONT WANT TO DISRUPT STUDIES

Anne crumpled up the paper, stuffing it into her pocket habitually, her eyes wide with shock and body slightly trembling.

"I-I have to go," she stuttered, slamming the door open and running out the door in a sprint. She realized something and stopped abruptly, spinning on her heel and turning back.

"I need to send an urgent message," she said breathlessly.

"Of course, miss. To whom and where?" The telegraphist said to her, walking over to the machine and looking at her expectantly.

"To the University of Toronto, Gilbert John Blythe." His name felt slightly like a drop of water on a burn, soothing her for just a moment before the sting came back.

"What do you want to say?"

"Matthew had a heart attack, stop. Going to Avonlea to take care of him, stop. Don't worry."

"That'd be 64 cents, miss." She reached a hand into her pocket and fumbled with the change before counting out the money and giving it to him.

"Thank you, bye," she greeted breathlessly, sprinting down the hall once again.

A couple minutes later, she burst into her boarding house, panting lightly. As she made a ruckus entering, poor Diana jumped in her seat, causing a loose stitch in her spirally flower needlepoint and a prick in her finger.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed sharply, careful not to let a drop of blood spill on her dress. "Anne, why ever are you so troubled?"

Anne muttered something unintelligible as she hunched underneath her bed, rolling the musty brown suitcase out and throwing it open. She sprang upwards, opening the wardrobe doors and throwing a blue, green, and white dress in her hands. She proceeded to slam the wardrobe door shut.

"Anne, that is mahogany!" Diana chastised.

"Nothing could possess me to care right now," Anne replied, stuffing her dresses in the bag.

"Why are you so... irked? Is it Billy? Oh Anne, please don't tell me he did something! Is it Gilbert? Why are you packing?" Only then did she notice the slip of paper with the official seal of the telegram company poking out of her pocket. With a deft swoop of her hand, she picked it out of Anne's pocket, scanning it once over.

"Oh dear," she murmured, a distraught frown on her face. "Anne, are you going home?"

Anne nodded and finished packing, closing the bag. "I know she said not to come home, but I know Marilla. She's just saying it not to worry me. Plus, how couldn't I leave? No one likes to admit it, but... every heart incident with dear old Matthew could very well be the last," she said sadly, looking up at Diana with watery blue eyes. Diana nodded in approval.

"I'll mail you the classwork?" she asked. Anne nodded with a small smile and hugged and kissed Diana on the cheek before lugging the bag out the door.

______________

Gilbert read the telegram sheet over and over, his reaction time slower than it should've been. Finally, he crumpled it up into a ball, nails digging into his palm.

Walking back to his room numbly and calmly, he started to pack. There was no way he wasn't going to be there for the Cuthberts, especially not when they'd been there for him so many times. Matthew was such a kind man, someone who had helped him out on many occasions, been his gentle supporter ever since his father passed on.

Moreover, there was no way he'd let Anne go through the turmoil she was probably going through alone.

When Alex walked into the room, he rolled his eyes. "This again? Mate, I told you she has it handle-"

"It's not that," Gilbert denied, shaking his head.

"What is it then?"

"It's Matthew." Alex stared at him blankly. "Anne's father."

"Oh," Alex recalled, nodding slowly. "And what about him?"

"He had a heart attack, a serious one from what I've discerned."

"Mate, that's horrible! Is he...?" Alex trailed off, making an awkward slicing motion at his throat with his right hand.

"No, he's still alive," Gilbert cleared up. "I'm not letting Anne go through it alone. No way."

"I respect that, I really do, but what about your schoolwork? You're the most hardworking of all of us, you don't deserve to fall behind."

"Mail me the work, then?" Gilbert asked with a breath. After a moment, Alex nodded understandingly, giving his friend a side hug.

"It's practice for the future... Dr. Blythe," he said with a pat on Gilbert's shoulder. "I hope things go well."

________________

Anne arrived at Green Gables at around 10 AM that day.

Marilla heard a knock on the door. She had been by a sleeping Matthew's bedside, making sure that he fell into nothing more than sleep.

She climbed downstairs tiredly and opened the door to see a wide eyed and nervous Anne holding a bag.

"Anne, I thought I told you to not come here! Your education is more important than-" Anne interrupted her.

"No, Marilla. My education will continue. I have years for that. I want to be here for you and Matthew. I just couldn't live if this was his-his... last day and I... threw him over for silly classes."

Anne's eyes scanned the place, searching for her one and only Matthew.

"He's upstairs in my room, if you're wondering." Anne gave the matriarch a blinding smile before dragging her bag upstairs and dropping it in her gable room. She opened the door to Marilla's room to see Matthew sleeping peacefully. Some of the color had drained from his usually rosy face, but there was still a bit of pink in his cheeks that made Anne release the breath she was holding. His chest was going up, then down, then up again very slowly. His gray hair fell over his eyes and with every exhale, it flapped just a little.

Anne took a seat at his bedside, taking his hand gingerly.

His eyes fluttered open to see Anne's tearfully smiling face.

"Anne? I thought you were..." he grunted weakly.

"I came home, Matthew."

"I dunno if I want you to... to miss out on any..."

"You're far more important to me than school," she reassured, squeezing his wrinkled hand. "You're my father, after all."

He gave her a weak but loving smile before drifting back into the realm of dreams for another couple of hours.

____________________

It was finally two in the morning when Gilbert arrived at Bright River.

"Excuse me, sir?" he called to a watch guard who was riding around the train station.

"Yeah?" the man grunted. "Whaddya want?"

"Could I trouble you for a ride to Avonlea?" The man raised an eyebrow.

"And why should I humor you, boy?"

"I have money," Gilbert rifled through his pockets and found some coins.

"I want at least 50 cents."

"Done!" Gilbert exclaimed, hopping along the wagon.

When he was dropped off at Avonlea's borders, he walked the mile to Green Gables. It was a little after 3 AM.

Knowing where they kept their spare key(In the boot rack in Matthew's left dress boot), he let himself in quietly, wanting to surprise Anne in the morning.

When Anne woke earlier than usual(6 AM wasn't her preferred time, but she couldn't fall back asleep), she went down in her flowy nightgown and wandered into the living room.

Her mouth fell open to see a certain tall, tanned, and handsome teenager in a white shirt and brown pants, reading Jane Eyre on the sofa.

"Gilbert," she breathed. He looked up with a smile, his hazel eyes sparkling. "You're here. All the way from Toronto! I... I thought I told you not to worry!" she chastised, trying to hide the fact that she was completely ecstatic and grateful he had come.

"Well, you didn't think I was just going to let you go through this alone? Plus, I'm the one with the medical expertise here," he teased, standing up and placing the book back on the shelf.

"I..." Anne trailed off, not knowing what to say. "Thank you," she said after what seemed like forever to her. "Thank you for... being you," she gushed, a small laugh slipping out of her mouth.

She ran over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and burrowing herself into the crook of his shoulder.

"I love you," she murmured into his shirt, closing her eyes.

"I love you more, no competition."


	13. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne gets in an argument, has to turn to Gilbert for help, and shares a sweet moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO updates in 24 hours??? Is that even legal??

**_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down  
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now  
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound_ **

Marilla Cuthbert awoke to quite a shock. It was at least 8 o’clock when she arose from her bed.

The only reason she hadn’t slept more was the fact that she heard laughter from downstairs. Laughter! The only explanation could be that Anne was playing one of those frivolous games again, but that couldn’t be it. It couldn’t because the sound was much too loud for one person and much too deep for Anne’s voice. Was Matthew out of bed? No, that was impossible, he was bedridden, she reminded herself.

She crept downstairs quickly and almost had a heart attack as bad as Matthew’s! Her Anne and Gilbert, who was supposed to be in Toronto, were curled up on her couch in a fashion that would be highly disapproved of by society. They were close and touching, legs intertwined like they were the same person and Anne’s head resting comfortably on his shoulder. They were both in their nightclothes! She had a book in her lap, but she seemed to be doing more talking to him than reading.

“Anne Shirley Cuthbert!” Marilla exclaimed sharply. Anne’s eyes widened like a deer caught in front of a wagon and she jumped from Gilbert’s arms. The boy tried and tried hard to hide his disappointment, but even a blind man could sense it radiating from him.

“Morning, Marilla!” she greeted, waving nervously. “Would you like some eggs? Gilbert and I made them just an hour ago.”

“I would like an explanation to why Gilbert is here!” Marilla was blinded by rage, tinted with an unknown melancholia. Anne was still a thirteen year old with flightish fancies and schoolgirl crushes to her, not a woman of almost seventeen who was remotely close to courtship, or God forbid, marriage. Of course, she hadn’t pointed her finger at this obvious conclusion. To her, Anne was simply being improper, despite her having her own trysts back in the day.

“I… I telegrammed him,” she sighed. “It seemed like the right thing to do. The letter wouldn’t have gotten there fast enough, especially with Matthew’s ever changing state.” She didn’t have to explain. By the time the letter would’ve reached Gilbert, Matthew could’ve been long gone.

“Gilbert, I am so sorry Anne disrupted your schoolwork.”

“It’s fine, Marilla,” the boy chuckled, looking at the red head with adoring doe eyes. “She didn’t tell me to come. Coming here was my idea. Anne had no clue.”

“He’s right, I told him not to bother and that I’d be alright.”

“And what about that display I walked in on? Both of you in your nightclothes!”

“It was completely innocent, Marilla! We were sitting on the couch and reading a book! I thought you said you trusted me not to do anything reckless! We haven’t crossed a line!” Well, she hadn’t crossed the line meant for marriage. She had left out the part where they were snogging on the couch for at least half an hour.

“Fiddlesticks! That still does not excuse that… improper behavior that I walked in on! What will the town say?” scolded Marilla sharply, wagging her finger at Anne.

“I am in the house. They can’t see.”

“Oh, you know Rachel, sticking her nose into everyone’s business! She’ll know eventually and the town will talk incessantly, just like you.”

“The town will say what they want to hear, Marilla. They’re deaf to common reason. It doesn’t matter whether we’re miles apart or on top of each other kissing in the middle of town square, they’ll still talk!” she scoffed, making Marilla flush bright red at her crass language. In front of a boy, no less!

“Anne!” she chastised, putting her hands on her hips. “I’ll thank you to watch yourself! That language was very unbecoming of a lady!”

Anne moaned furiously, tearing at her hair with a hand. “Marilla, I’m sure Gilbert isn’t concerned about me talking about things we do very regularly.”

Marilla blanched, mouth falling open. That was the last straw! She could not believe sweet Anne would be so blatantly improper in her words!

“That is it! Mr. Blythe, please return to Sebastian’s house for the time being. Anne, please go up to your room until you can see reason!”

Gilbert excused himself while Anne stormed upstairs, smoke practically fuming out of her her ears.

__________________

“I don’t know why she’s so cross,” Anne whispered to Matthew, stroking his forehead while he closed his eyes. “And so prudish too! If it isn’t going to get me with child, it should be fine. It is my relationship and not anybody else’s. She had a conniption over us embracing on the couch. I half hope and half rue the day when she walks in on something of more intensity,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I… I reckon,” Matthew coughed, voice a hoarse whisper. “Her romance was the same as yours. Town didn’t approve and it was fast and hard,” he took a small and shaky sip of water. “But it was hers. I think she’s just sad that you’re growing up so fast. Both of us still see you as a whimsical little girl, not a fine young woman.”

_____________________

It was the dead of night when Marilla burst into Anne’s gable room.

“Marilla,” she murmured groggily, still reluctant to talk to the woman. “Wha-?”

“Matthew, he can’t breathe,” she said urgently. All anger flew out the door as Anne shot out of her bed, throwing the thick quilt to the floor.

“Shall I fetch the doctor from town?” she offered, already throwing on a spare coat from her dresser.

Marilla shook her head. “I tried, he’s in Charlottetown. Thomas Lynde has gone to fetch him, but I’m not sure Matthew will make it that long.”

“We can’t just let him perish! It could be hours before they return!” Anne shrieked.

“We don’t have a better option. There’s not another doctor in the town, is there?” Realization struck Anne’s face as she came to a conclusion that Marilla would disapprove of.

“Gilbert,” she murmured. “He’s not exactly a doctor yet, but he has plentiful experience.”

“Absolutely not!” Marilla snapped, shooting a death glare towards her daughter. “No such impropriety will occur between you two while you’re still under my roof!”

“Marilla, he’s our only hope,” she pleaded, knowing that her father’s time was limited. “This is no time for old fashioned notions, Matthew i-is d-dying as we speak. We need him,” she pleaded passionately, sky blue eyes to the brim with tears.

And with a single look at Anne, her free spirited and admittedly grown daughter, she decided it was time to let go and trust that Anne could make her own decisions. Anne didn’t need Marilla to watch her every move anymore, she was off at Queens and was independent.

With a shaky and glum breath, Marilla nodded once. Needing no other signal, Anne raced down the stairs and towards the Blythe orchard.

When she was there, she knocked on the door quickly, bouncing on her toes impatiently.

A half asleep Gilbert opened the door, in nothing but a form fitting white shirt and dark brown trousers, suspenders hanging loose at his sides.

“Anne?” he puzzled, eyebrows furrowing.

“It’s Matthew,” she blurted abruptly, cutting right to the chase. Taking in a breath, she said, “He’s having trouble breathing and it’s really serious. The doctor’s in Charlottetown and Mr. Lynde is fetching him, but it will be a couple hours and we’re not sure he’ll make it that long and… we need you.”

His hazel eyes went as big as dinner plates before he nodded frantically, reaching for the hook behind the door and grabbing a thick brown coat.

“I’m coming,” he promised, sprinting out the door as he followed her. If he wasn’t distracted, he might have noted that she looked like a moonlight fairy, her white gown billowing behind her and sunset red hair almost glowing from the lantern light. Her milky white face was backlit by the fire, her golden starlike freckles intensified.

When they got to Green Gables, he ran up the stairs to see sweet old Matthew Cuthbert laying on his bed and clutching his throat, an expression of clear pain on his soft and kind features. He was heaving, desperately trying to take in breath.

“Do something,” Anne pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

Gilbert seemed trapped. He had learned very little about how to treat episodes as consequential as this. As far as he knew, it was warm them up, give them breath, and hope for the best.

“Breath,” he murmured suddenly. “Breath!”

“May I do something?” Anne asked.

“Yes,” Gilbert responded quickly. “Get the bellows from downstairs.” Anne didn’t question his limited expertise, fetching it in a matter of seconds as Marilla grew more and more light headed by the second. Gilbert grabbed the pot of warm water and placed it near the old man, hoping the warm air would be easier to breathe in. Anne returned by then, handing the big black tool to him.

Gilbert looked around for a piece of cloth to clean it. Seeing nothing, he quickly shrugged off his shirt and dipped it in warm water, cleaning off the ashy surface. He and Anne would’ve been embarrassed at his obviously improper conduct in front of Marilla in any other situation, but it was an emergency and it was no time to be thinking of romance.

Placing the air receiving end in Matthew’s mouth, he pumped the device at a steady pace, feeding in air to his struggling lungs. If Matthew couldn’t breathe by himself, Gilbert would do it for him.

Finally, Matthew’s chest started to rise and fall normally and everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Gilbert continued pumping air into him, getting his lungs used to the sensation of breathing again. After a minute, he stopped pumping air and to their joy, the sweet old man was breathing by his own again. Feebly, but he was breathing.

“Oh,” Marilla sobbed, taking out a handkerchief and wiping her eyes, excusing herself from the room.

Anne burst into a fresh round of tears, but a different kind. One saturated with such intense joy.

He was okay.

Her dear father, first kindred spirit, dearest soul in this world, he was okay, all thanks to the only boy she loved as dearly as him.

As Gilbert carefully set the bellows down on the nightstand and pulled the covers over Matthew, she barrelled into him with surprising intensity, her thin frame wracking with relieved sobs. She didn’t care that he his torso was bare and sweaty or that she was only wearing a thin nightgown, the only thing that echoed through her mind was an intense feeling of gratefulness and relief. She didn’t want to imagine what would’ve happened if Gilbert wasn’t there. Beautiful, kindred, perfect Gilbert. Her Gilbert.

He wrapped his arms around her and breathed a sigh of relief, breathing in her natural scent of wildflowers. The pace of his tense breaths slowed, heartbeat slowing and mind feeling at rest once more. He hadn’t even finished school and he had already managed to save his first patient.

“Thank you,” she cried, her grip on him getting stronger. “Thank you so much.”

______________________

Marilla had gone back up to bed and told Anne to go back to her room. Gilbert had been allowed to spend the night on the sofa again.

Once Anne was sure that Marilla was fast asleep, she crept downstairs where sure enough, he was laying back with his hands resting behind his head.

“Hey,” he greeted, a smirk playing on his face. “Why are you down here?” he asked innocently, as if he hadn’t been waiting for her the entire time.

“Just getting a cup of tea, of course,” she said flatly, rolling her eyes.

He wanted to hear her say that she wanted to be with him. “Well, don’t let me stop you,” he smirked, a twinkle in his hazel eyes.

So that was the game he wanted to play, she thought.

She strolled inside the kitchen, actually pouring herself a cup of tea and coming out.

“I should head upstairs now. Wouldn’t want to be improper,” she said, challenging him all the while.

“You sure wouldn’t,” he retorted, not relenting.

“Alright then…” she shrugged, ascending the stairs slowly. Gilbert had given her less credit than she deserved! She would take this all the way, wouldn’t she?

Finally, he called out, “Anne?”

“Yes?” she said sweetly, an innocent smile on her pink lips.

“Would you stay here with me?” he asked intentionally, a playful mock smile lighting up his face.

“That would be terribly improper,” she teased, setting the mug of tea down on a nearby table and putting her hands on her hips.

“I suppose propriety will just have to wait for a while,” he simply said.

A quizzical look crossed her face, but she didn’t have time to respond as he ran from his spot on the sofa. He reached her in an instant and scooped her up in his arms in a bridal carry and ran back to the sofa, plopping her down.

“Why, Mr. Blythe, that was terribly inappropriate of you,” she said breathily, her wide blue eyes dancing with mirth. They were so close she could smell the scent of sweet orchard apples on his breath.

“Oh, I know,” he breathed, brushing a lock of fire behind her ear before Anne finally sealed the painful distance between them, the cup of tea long forgotten.


	14. Oh My My My

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert babysit.

**_And I'll be eighty-seven, you'll be eighty-nine  
I'll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky_ **

“You should go home,” Anne sighed after breakfast in the living room, cupping a freckled hand around Gilbert’s smoothly shaven face. He dipped his head a little to kiss her palm before wrapping his own hand around hers, intertwining their fingers and bringing them down. “One day away from medical school is a day too much when you have so much work.”

“Not a chance,” he replied, a crooked grin on his face.

“I just feel terribly for tearing you away from Toronto,” she lamented, pouting.

“Don’t. What if you need me again? I have Alex mailing me the work and I’m going to be here until you also leave. Besides, you make it awfully hard for me to leave, love.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded, her voice moving up an octave. “Are you suggesting this is my fault?”

“No,” he chuckled. “Not at all. It’s just that everything about you is irresistible, Anne,” he said deeply, kissing the side of her mouth. “From your hair,” he ran a hand through her silky smooth red hair. “To your eyes,” he lifted her chin so that their eyes were interlocked. “To your personality and just recently, I got to discover one new pleasure about you, faerie queen.”

“And what’s that?” she asked, challenging him with only her eyes and a coy smile.

“I think you know,” he teased, his eyes dropping down quickly to look at her slightly swollen lips, just begging to be kissed again.

“I think you’ll have to show me, Mr. Blythe,” she replied smoothly.

“Gladly, Ms. Shirley.” He drew closer and closer. They were only millimeters apart when they heard a noise that made them jump back.

“Ahem!” Marilla cleared her throat obviously as the two of them shot back to different sofas, pretending Marilla hadn’t seen them on the verge of another snogging session. Instead of saying anything, Marilla just wandered into the kitchen, muttering something about growing too fast. Wanting to distance herself from two hormonal teenagers, she took a berry loaf out to Anne.

“Why don’t the two of you take this berry loaf to the Blythe orchard?” she urged, making it clear to Anne that ‘no’ was not an option. She needed some peace and quiet, not the two of them being joined at the hip and hanging off each other like some sort of flesh colored fungus. “And after that go to town or something to that effect?” She made it clear that Anne was not to return for a couple hours at the very least.

“Of course,” Gilbert agreed, standing up in one quick movement. He offered his hand to Anne. To make a point, she got up on her own and looked at him with a defiant smile.

The two of them walked out the door leisurely before Anne took his hand.

Gilbert opened his mouth to make a childish comment, but he was interrupted.

“Whatever you’re about to say, I beg you to refrain for your own health.”

_________________

Anne knocked at the door, her white cheeks bitten by rose. Her freckled nose was flushed pink and her light pink lips were upturned, showing off two perfect dimples. Gilbert stood beside her, looking at her in devotion and admiration, Anne completely oblivious to his doting gaze.

Hazel opened the door, a polite smile on her face. “Mr. Blythe, Miss Shirley-Cuthbert, how do you do?”

“Please, Hazel, call me Anne,” Anne insisted, flashing a pearly smile at the woman.

“And call me Gilbert,” he added for the umpteenth time since she had moved in.

“Okay, Mr. Gilbert,” she accepted, clasping her hands tightly. “What are you two doing here?”

“Oh, Marilla wanted to bring this berry loaf over to you. It’s fresh from this morning and it goes extraordinarily with blueberry preserves or sugar glaze.”

“Thank you. You can put it right inside,” she invited, stepping aside to let the two teenagers in. Anne set the loaf pan down on the table gingerly. She walked over to Dellie’s nursery and hissed, “Sebastian! Mr. Blythe and his lady friend are here! Please be respectful and greet them!”

Bash rolled his eyes and hoisted Dellie on his hip, walking out of the nursery where he had been playing with her.

“Good morning, Bash!” Anne greeted, walking over to kiss Delphine on the head. “And good morning, Dellie! How are you?” she cooed, tickling the little girl gently.

“Aah!” the girl called, not being able to say ‘n’ sounds.

“AHH is right,” Bash joked, nudging the girl playfully. Gilbert chuckled, fully aware that Anne could be a force of nature. He’d been on the receiving end of her wrath more than once, but he didn’t mind. One of the reasons he had fallen for her was because she was so passionate with everything she believed in.

Anne rolled her eyes and took Delphine from the man, balancing her on one hip in between her and Gilbert.

“I actually have a favor to ask you,” Bash said.

“Yeah?” Gilbert replied, absentmindedly brushing back his hair.

“My mother and I want to go to Carmody to pick up some farming supplies and dress cloth and the likes of that. Do you think you two could take care of Delphine for a couple hours without burning the place down?”

Anne chortled goodnaturedly and nodded, but Gilbert’s brows furrowed as he whispered to Anne, “Are you sure? Carmody is a couple hours away and if you want to spend time with Matthew, you can go. I can take care of my niece.”

“No, truly, I want to. Besides, didn’t you see Marilla? She practically kicked us out. Plus, do you know the first thing about caring for a baby by yourself, Gil?” she giggled.

“Admittedly, no.”

“Good, I’m staying then.”

It was a couple minutes before Sebastian and Hazel left for Carmody.

“I think we should put Delphine down for a nap,” Anne instructed, rocking the girl in her arms gently with a loving expression directed at the little girl. “She looks tired and her eyes are barely open. I assume she’s already eaten.”

Gilbert barely paid attention to her in that moment because he was overtaken with an image-no, a fantasy- so powerful that he could barely register his surroundings. He could only stare at Anne.

He watched her lovingly rock the baby to sleep, twirling slowly and humming softly, her skirts swishing behind her and suddenly, she wasn’t a college girl just short of 17 years old anymore. She was a couple years older, a little taller, her features more mature. Delphine didn’t have creamy chocolate skin and tufts of curly black hair, she was pale, with golden freckles and waves of soft red hair, blue eyes fluttering closed, a picture print of Anne. As she twirled around, you could see the glimmer of a gemstone on her hand.

He didn’t realize what he was imagining for a couple seconds and when he did, he came to only one conclusion; He was dead gone over Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. Of course, he knew that years ago, but this thought process only seemed to affirm it.

Gilbert was also very aware of the process of conception. Medical textbooks were more than informative and the months after Bash and Mary’s wedding were spent with a pillow over his head as he tried to sleep at nights. In the mornings, Gilbert could barely look at them the same, both of them waking up with an unmistakable glow. In time, this embarrassment changed to curiosity, right around the middle of summer when Anne had developed a less girlish and more… womanly figure. He had been crushing on her since she came to Avonlea, but the realm of those feelings developed a physical aspect right around then.

“Gil? Gilbert!” Anne called, snapping him out of his fantasies. “You were a hundred years away.”

“Oh, just daydreaming,” he dismissed, smiling at her as she set Delphine down in her crib.

“About what?” she probed, tucking a blanket around the baby. She grabbed his hand and led them out of the room so that they wouldn’t wake her. They settled down on Gilbert’s old Chesterfield.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he brushed off.

“Well, I know what I’m thinking of,” she smirked, a naughty twinkle in her eyes.

“What might that be?” he asked innocently.

“Well, the baby’s sleeping… and we’re unchaperoned…” She didn’t need to say a word more. With each kiss, they each put such passion, longing, and love in that no one could deny that they were unmistakably in love.

As they got carried away(with most people in Avonlea, any more than holding hands was improper), they were abruptly interrupted by a piercing cry from the other room.

“I’ve never disliked Delphine more in my life,” Gilbert murmured as he reluctantly pulled away from her lips.

“Oh, you don’t mean that,” Anne giggled. She still had his unmistakable taste of the Blythe apples on her lips, the residue of his kiss lingering. It certainly wasn’t an unwanted guest!

“Wait here, I’ll go see what she wants,” he said, getting up lethargically while straightening his jacket. Delphine continued to wail loudly and Anne pushed him towards the door sharply as he pouted.

Gilbert entered the nursery and picked Delphine up carefully. He had no idea why she was crying. First, he peeled back her nappy awkwardly. It was clean, so that was ruled out. He tried rocking her gently like Anne had done. That didn’t work. He grabbed a random baby bottle off the counter and tried to feed it to her, but she rejected it. She only nibbled on the top of it before whining again.

After a couple minutes of failure, he was praying for some sort of savior when, exactly like an angel, Anne waltzed into the kitchen.

“Sounds like you’re having some trouble,” she noted dryly as she looked over a crazed Gilbert, looking disheveled already as Delphine continued to roar with tears. He was surrounded by a mess of nappies and baby bottles. She laughed at the mess,shaking her head, and walked over to Gilbert.

“Give her to me,” she ordered. He gladly relented and gave the baby to her. She inspected the girl closely, kissing the furrow in the baby’s brow away, rocking her and sibillating, “Shhh.” Unlike the first time, she didn’t pipe down.

“Oh!” Anne exclaimed in realization, clapping a hand to her forehead. “How could I be so cretinous? Of course she’s crying! It’s obviously time!”

“Forgive me, Anne, but I have no idea what you’re saying.”

“She’s teething,” Anne announced excitedly. “That’s why she’s been so irritable.”

“How in the world did you figure out something like that in a minute?” he asked, in clear awe of her skills.

She beckoned him closer. “See this?” she pointed to the spittle dripping out of Delphine’s mouth. “She’s drooling more than usual. She’s warmer too, but not feverish. When I do this,” she rubbed Delphine’s small pink gums gently with her index finger. Delphine still whined, but she stopped screaming. “She stops crying so much.”

He looked at her in amazement. Sure, he’d learned about teething babies in U of T, but he hardly knew all the home remedies and hardly had the practical experience with children that Anne had.

“Should we use one of those instant relief teething medicines?” he asked nervously. Anne’s eyes widened and she shook her head frantically.

“Those are nothing but trouble. I’ve seen babies die from that horrid substance. They’re just alcohol and honey in a bottle. You have to let Delphine ride it out.”

She grabbed a spoon off the countertop and ran it in cold water before giving it to Delphine.

“It’ll give her some relief to chew something.” Sure enough, the little girl started to gnaw on the spoon.

With a satisfied smile, Anne placed her hands on her hips and started to walk out of the room. She was interrupted by somebody grabbing her wrist and twirling her right back to where she was before. She squealed as she thudded into a muscular chest and then she saw a boyish and handsome face staring at her with a caring and doting grin. He had his hands around her hips, pulling her close to him. She slung her hands around his neck and giggled blithely.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Gilbert praised.

“All you, darling,” she replied, before pulling him into a kiss that left him lightheaded for hours.


	15. Both of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne hears the news and says goodbye.

**_I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us  
Some day I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us_ **

It wasn’t long before something came along and ruined their happiness.

There was a knock on the door as Gilbert and Anne were doing some schoolwork together, Anne quizzing Gilbert with flashcards and Gilbert helping her understand some of the more mathematical aspects of her education.

Anne got up gracefully, walking to the door, a quizzical expression on her face, Gilbert following her with a loose arm around her shoulders.

Bash and Hazel had come from their outing, Hazel saying that Marilla wanted Anne home.

“What-Whatever for?” she asked, very well knowing why. She held her breath, praying, hoping it wasn’t true.

“The doctor came around this morning. From the looks of it… he’ll pull through it for a couple days at the very most,” Bash said, a sympathetic look in his eyes for the usually bright girl.

Anne let out a small gasp, her knees giving out from under her. Gilbert caught her, steadying her in his arms. She stood again, as tremulous as a willow sapling in a hurricane.

“I… um… Okay,” she breathed, desperately trying to suck in the building moisture in her eyes. She failed in that mission. “I’ll go now.”

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Gilbert offered gently, placing a hand on hers. She shook her head numbly, pulling his hand off hers. He knew she didn’t mean anything by it. He had pushed everyone away after his father’s death too, he just wanted to help somehow. It made him feel so helpless to see her so desolate, tears spilling from the eyes he loved so much, her perfect pink lips twisted into a forlorn frown.

She walked home alone, wracking with sobs all the way down the path, Gilbert watching powerlessly as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to defend herself for the world of pain coming at her.

She opened the door slowly, no resounding slam like normal. She walked inside slowly to see Marilla sitting in the living room, all by her lonesome, dabbing her eyes as tears rushed down her cheeks.

The older lady looked up and tried to be of some reassurance to Anne by smiling, but that mangled attempt turned into a soft sob.

Anne sat down with her wordlessly, wrapping an arm around her mother and pulling her close as moisture slipped down both their cheeks. Neither of them had the strength to speak or get up.

“I want to talk to him,” Anne whispered after a couple of minutes, her voice strained and broken. “T-to Matthew, before-before he…” she trailed off, not having the heart to continue.

“I expect he’ll be waiting for you,” Marilla murmured in response. “He’s been asking for you in his sleep since Dr. Carter broke the news.”

Anne got up ungracefully and ascended the stairs with shaky legs and a heavy heart. She reached the room where Matthew lay. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, feeling the burning in her eyes again.

“Matthew?” she croaked softly. “Are you awake?”

She heard a soft grunt, so she took it as a yes. She walked in, forcing on a fake smile for him. She closed the door behind her, taking a seat on the chair next to Matthew’s bed.

“Anne,” he said, his voice low and crackly. She took his large and wrinkled hand in her own dainty and smooth one, intertwining their fingers with a sniff. She tried to wipe away her tears and force herself to be joyous for him, but he saw right through it. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” she quizzed, knowing full well what he was speaking about.

“I know what’ll happen to me. I’m… not afraid,” he mused quietly, absentmindedly stroking her hand with his thumb. “It’s my time and I can see it coming.” He coughed a couple times and Anne immediately started to call for Marilla, but he waved her off.

“I am afraid, Matthew,” she confided, her eyes puffy and redder than her horrendous hair. “I’m deathly frightened of what life will be like without you. You were my first kindred spirit, the first person I truly loved and now… you’re going decades too soon. I feel like I’m losing a part of me, Matthew!”

“No-” he protested, hacking a little at the end. “Don’t you worry after I’m gone. You have your life ahead of you.”

“I don’t want you to go,” she whimpered, her face contorting into an expression of sheer and unadulterated pain.

“Well now, I don’t think anyone truly wants to go,” he chuckled dryly. “But I have to.”

“No,” she protested. “How-how can I live without you?”

“You will,” he insisted, squeezing her hand weakly. “And I’ll be waiting for you in a few dozen years.”

“No, every thing in the past three years has been manageable because I had you and now I’m losing you!”

“Not losing, Anne, just saying see you later. You’ve lived without me before, I reckon you can do it again.”

“No, no, no! You can’t comprehend it! How can life mean anything without you?” she sobbed, placing her head on his chest.

“Don’t say that, Anne,” he scolded gently, running a fatherly hand through her hair, stroking her head gently. “You have so much to live for. You have Marilla and Diana and all your friends and you have Gilbert. That boy loves you, you know? You two don’t let go of each other.”

“Anyone and everyone is gray for me without you, Matthew,” she said, knowing it wasn’t true, but it sure felt like it at the moment.

“Anne, my daughter and the girl I love most, listen to me,” he said seriously, raising her chin to meet his tired eyes. “I wish I didn’t have to be such a burden on you and Marilla, but I do, and I’m sorry. Promise me you’ll be okay after I go.”

“No, I-”

“Promise me,” he cut in, his blue eyes serious and hazy.

“I...I can’t promise you I’ll be anything close to how happy I was with you, but… I’ll keep going. In your name and memory,” she swore, putting a hand around his cheek and caressing it before kissing him on the cheek softly.

“Well now, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“I love you, Matthew.”

“Well now, I love you too, Anne. Go now, I want to sleep.”

It was late that night that Matthew Cuthbert passed away, finally at rest from the turmoil in his mind and heart. He passed with a kind smile on his face, the pink draining from his face once and for all, his warm skin turning cold and hard. He greeted Death like an old companion, disappearing into the light like an angel, and he truly was an angel. Anne’s guardian angel and the person that had saved her life way back in 1887, making the decision to keep the little red headed snippet with a flapping jaw from the orphanage.


	16. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Anne deals with loss, she lashes out at somebody she loves. Josie confides in her.

**_Stood there and watched you walk away  
From everything we had_ **

**FROM MISS ANNE SHIRLEY-CUTHBERT**

**GREEN GABLES FARM**

**AVONLEA, PEI**

**TO MISS DIANA BARRY**

**QUEENS COLLEGE**

**CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI**

**HE’S GONE, THE SERVICE IS THIS WEEKEND, TELL THE GIRLS, COLE, AND AUNT JO**

_______________

Anne felt like an invalid.

Or at least, everyone treated her like one.

She’d walk the streets of town and every person would give her a sympathetic glance, frowning and shaking their heads like she had just told them she’d be paralyzed for life.

Couldn’t they see that she was alright? She had handled loss before and she’d do it again. Matthew depended on her to do so. Where ever he was, he wouldn’t want her to waste time or tears on him. She had work to do.

If she broke, she wouldn’t be able to function well for a long time, so she couldn’t break. She’d already felt a taste of the rippling pain that incapactitated her when she woke to find Marilla sobbing over an ice cold body. She didn’t want to feel it again.

It didn’t matter about the gnawing ache that seemed to be eating her from the inside out, that would fade with time. It didn’t matter that she constantly wanted to burst into tears, she’d repress them and hold her head high. It didn’t matter that Gilbert had come to see her 3 times this morning and 4 times yesterday and that each time she had fibbed so that she didn’t have to see him because he would surely tell that she was on the verge of breaking, she just had to push through.

As she was walking back from the telegram office, somebody stopped her, grabbing her shoulder.

“Well, Anne,” the lady cried passionately, pulling the girl into a sudden and tight embrace. “I just heard this morning! Poor Matthew! Oh, you sweet little soul! Poor Marilla! I’ll be by as soon as I can with dinner for you two.”

Anne pat her on the back with a grimace. “Thank you, Mrs. Lynde. You’re very kind.”

“I must be going. I have to fetch some supplies from the corner store.” The lady excused herself, patting Anne on the cheek with a pitiful smile.

As soon as she had turned the corner, Anne mumbled, “Good riddance” with a fantastic roll of her eyes.

It wasn’t long before she ran into another sympathetic supporter, this one even more unwelcome than the last. When she meant ‘ran into’, she literally ran into him.

She was walking fast with her head down, eyes trained on the dirt path when she slammed into someone’s chest and fell on her rump, the basket of flowers for the service opening and spilling everywhere. They were chrysanthemums and daisies -Matthew’s favorites- on the floor surrounding her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Anne,” he apologized profusely, squatting down beside her and sweeping the flowers back into the basket gracefully.

“Gilbert,” she said coolly, getting up swiftly and dusting off her skirt. He handed the basket to her and she barely acknowledged him, giving him a stiff nod and a strained smile. She started walking along briskly again, trying to head home.

“Wait, Anne!” She got mild flashbacks of the first day she met him and just like that first day, she ignored him. He caught up to her in a few quick strides.

“I understand you’re going through a lot right now and I’ll go as soon as you say the word-” he started, getting cut off.

“I’d like you to go,” she interrupted sharply, speeding up to an almost jog.

“Just hear me out for a second, Anne-girl,” he pleaded, taking longer strides to match hers. “I’ll go right after I say this; If you need somebody to talk to, I understand exactly what you’re going through. It’s not healthy to bottle your feelings. You know what happened when I did just that!”

She stopped abruptly to stare him straight in the face. “Yes, you hopped aboard a steamer to faraway lands and left me regretful that I didn’t know you better. I know perfectly what you’re speaking about. Please, move on,” she said impatiently, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What I’m trying to say is, I’ll be here if you need me because I love you and want the best for you.”

“Why?” she demanded abruptly, the words coming out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Why must you care so much about my needs? I’m not your family or anything remotely close to that fashion, I’m your sweetheart whom you’ve been seeing for all of two months! Why are you so empathetic for someone like me?” She repressed the hot tears building in her eyes, discreetly wiping the wetness away with her mitten. He saw right through it, grabbing her gloved hand firmly in the act and clasping it with his.

“How could I not?” he asked intensely, his hazel eyes boring into her watery blue ones. “You’ve been my everything since the very first day, Anne-girl. You’re everything I need and more.”

Like a wounded and confused(highly perplexed about why Gilbert cared so much about an urchin like her) animal lashing out, she said the absolute worst thing she could say at that moment. She ripped her hand out of his forcefully, wiping it on her skirt.

“That’s too unfortunate, Gilbert Blythe, because I certainly do not need you, not now and not ever, and I would like to be left alone for once in my life!”

Before she had time to regret what she had said(and the regret came very quickly), she spun on her heel and ran away, lip quivering and berating herself all the while. It took all her pride to not turn back.

He must hate her now, she thought. She could never show her face again. What a stupid mistake! Whatever unfathomable reason he had to love her was probably gone now. And so, she let her pride and miscommunication get the best of her once again.

What he was thinking was quite the opposite. He knew this move-pushing everyone away- and he couldn’t believe she’d say something like that if she wasn’t hurt and confused.

He wished he could help her, but she didn’t want his help right now. Trying not to feel too dejected, he trudged back to the Orchard and violently chopped some carrots for a stew. After one bite of the substance, he felt too sick to eat the memorable vegetable and tossed it all out, retiring to his room for the night and praying to God for only one thing.

________________

“We came as soon as we heard,” Ruby announced, inviting herself and the girls into Anne’s house. “Oh Anne dear, we’re so sorry!”

“You guys are supposed to be at Queens! I don’t want all of you missing school like I am!” Anne exclaimed, but nevertheless hugging each of the 3 girls.

“Oh hush,” Diana silenced, pulling them all up to Anne’s room. “Only Ruby, Josie, and I came as representatives for the rest of the girls. The other girls are covering for us at school. We’ve asked our teachers, caught up on at least a week’s worth, and are here for as long as you need us for. You need some good old fashioned woman time now, not this frivolous courtship business you and Gilbert have between you.”

“About that,” Anne said, biting her lip and sitting down. “I don’t think there’s anything anymore.” She was heartbroken about it, but somehow the regular feelings were clouded over by a looming storm of pain from the dearest loss in her life.

No, she needed to distract herself. Anne would force herself to get better. Crying or being depressed would just hinder her progress.

“What?!” Josie huffed, eyes wide and shocked. “You two finally get your act together and now it just ended! I was betting on engagement by the end of the year, you know!”

Anne put her head in her hands and sighed, closing her eyes. “I messed up, girls. He was only trying to make me feel better by being his normal aggravatingly charming and kind self and I lashed out at him.”

“Why?” Ruby asked, mouth agape. “Why in the world?”

“I couldn’t fathom it in the moment. Gilbert Blythe… and plain old me who’s as fragile as china right now. So I told him that I didn’t need him anymore. Strangely, I don’t feel anything too much. I haven’t really felt any strong emotion but numbness and the urge to cry since… well… you know two days ago.” She admitted this softly, wrapping her arms around herself as if to fill the gaping hole.

“Why don’t you go fix it?” Diana urged gently, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

Anne just looked at her as if she’d sprouted two heads. “Are you mental? He probably hates me!”

Josie snorted in a fashion her mother would’ve disapproved of, but she hardly heeded what the woman said anymore. After she took Billy’s side when he harassed her, she had lost tremendous respect for her. “Oh please, darling. He was head over heels for you. I think you could commit homicide and he’d help you hide the body. I hardly think that a couple mean words when you’re grieving steered him off that path.”

“I’m not grieving!” Anne said defensively, crossing her arms. “I’ll be alright! I don’t feel anything at all! I promised Matthew I’d be alright and I am! Now, let’s talk about something else!”

“Fine,” Ruby huffed indignantly, holding her chin high. “We came here to distract you and be here for you and if distract is what you want, so be it!”

“Oh girls, I almost forgot about the sweets we brought from that confectionary off the corner of University Avenue. Ruby, come with me to get them! Unfortunately, I forgot them at my house. It’ll be just 5 minutes!” Diana said, the two girls getting up and going downstairs.

There was a couple beats of silence amongst the former enemies.

“So, how is Alex?” Anne asked nonchalantly.

“He’s doing good. He’s very smart, you know.” She had a dreamy sort of smile on her face, the look in her eyes flurried and love struck.

“You’re quite smitten, I see.” She felt a small pang in her heart for both of the people she loved that she lost the past twenty four hours.

“Absolutely. The way he writes to me, oh it makes me feel in ways Billy never did! He’s so delicate with me, but so humorous and makes me feel like the only girl on Earth!” That struck a chord with Anne. Gilbert made her feel that way, with all the beautiful butterflies and adoring gazes.

“That’s so great for you, Josie, really. I’m glad you found your person.”

There was more silence before Josie said timidly, “Anne?”

“Yes, Josie?”

“I need to tell you something and you have to swear it on your life that you won’t tell anybody else, because not another soul knows,” she said seriously, her eyes cast downward.

“I swear,” Anne replied automatically, edging closer to the girl. “What is it, Josie?”

“I think I’m… very strange,” she noted, furrowing her brow.

“How so?” Anne asked, tilting her head to the side.

“I like boys like Alex, but… I also like girls sometimes,” she explained, not quite sure about how to explain it.

“In manners of friendship?” Anne asked casually, not thinking much of it.

“No, romantically also. I loved Prissy Andrews from afar three years ago,” she stated bluntly, shaking her head. “Is there something wrong with me?” Anne suddenly realized what she meant and her eyes snapped up to the girl, the first brilliant smile in days coming to her face. She was somehow like Aunt Josephine, but not quite fully. She briefly recalled the orphanage matron beating a girl because she had confessed to “swinging both ways”. She had used a strange word, a relatively new one that even bibliophile Anne hadn’t heard. A word called “bisexual.”

**Before you come at me, the word has existed since 1803, it was just rarely used until the 20th century]**

She had thought that the word had a beautiful sort of ring to it, that it sounded ever so romantic. How could anything that sounded so lovely be wicked like people believed?

“Oh Josie,” Anne gushed, wrapping the girl in a hug. “Absolutely not! You are such a beautiful person!”

“I asked my mother about it hypothetically, and she proclaimed it was a sin of the highest order. That is was wrong and unnatural.”

“Can love really ever be unnatural when it is so pure and innocuous? Love is love, no matter in what form it is shared in, dearest of Josies.”

“I suppose not, but the town already half hates me for what happened last summer. I’m afraid if this gets out, the entire town will loathe me forever. More so, I’m afraid that the others and… he won’t like me anymore if he finds out I’m not an ordinary girl.” Her teeth came down on her bottom lip, her cheeks red and her eyes closed. A lone tear slipped down her cheek, gone as fast as it arrived.

“Josie, I’m sure Alexander knows you are far from ordinary in the best possible ways. I’m sure one more thing added to the list won’t faze him in the slightest,” she coaxed, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly.

“But how do I know?”she whispered hoarsely, her eyes fixated on the spot on her hand where he had brushed his lips the night before he left for Toronto. In just a few letters, it seemed she was falling hard and fast. She didn’t want to experience more heartbreak and abuse, if she did, she’d lose faith in men completely.

“You don’t,” Anne shrugged, grabbing the girl’s hand. “But just know that even if the entire world is standing against you, as your friend, I’ll be right by your side.”


	17. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events at Matthew's funeral.

**_I see your face in my mind as I drive away_ **

**_'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way_ **

**_People are people and sometimes we change our minds_ **

**_But it's killing me to see you go after all this time_ **

Saturday arrived much faster than Anne would’ve preferred.

“Anne, why aren’t you ready yet?” Marilla shrieked, the woman already in a plain black dress. It had no ruffles or embellishments, just a plain long sleeved black top piece with a straight black skirt, no ruffles or poofs to be sighted.

“It’s a funeral service, we’re not meeting the Queen,” she muttered from her bed. She hadn’t been sleeping well in days. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Matthew’s sickly face draining of all color and feeling, his pink tinted skin turning ashy and warm embrace turning cold and hard.

“I’ll thank you to show some respect!” Anne lolled out of bed grudgingly, rubbing her eyes(unsuccessfully) to hide the bleariness and weariness that the past few days had contributed. Marilla’s face softened when she saw the young lady’’s significantly thinner figure and coarse unwashed hair, tired eyes swollen red from unwanted tears that only spilled during nightmares and the dark circles marring the undersides of her usually blithe blue eyes. “Rachel and I made a dress for you because I know you don’t have anything black. It is in your wardrobe.”

Once Marilla exited the room, Anne threw open her closet doors lazily and quickly saw the black dress that stuck out like a sore thumb. Any other day, she would have been just chuffed to have such a dress. It was truly very beautiful and when she was younger, she might’ve had a tragical fantasy about being a beautiful maiden weeping dramatically over a grave, her elegant dress sprawled out beneath her feet and auburn hair draped over her face.

Instead, she took it out of the closet numbly, slipped it on, and did none of the usual preening. Her hair was bristly and matted from days of neglect, so she ran a brush through it half heartedly and pulled half of it out of her face with a white spotted black ribbon.

Climbing down the stairs slowly, she saw Marilla waiting on the couch for her, staring out the window forlornly. She dabbed at her sky blue eyes with a lace trimmed handkerchief. She heard her daughter descending the stairs and her watery eyes turned to her.

“Rachel was right. This dress becomes you,” Marilla said sadly, sniffing once. Anne had never seen Marilla in this state. It seemed so unlike calm, collected, and unfeeling Marilla to tear up, to be so fragile, a condition usually for Anne. Now it seemed the roles were reversed. Marilla was falling apart with every breath and Anne was suppressing it, a dull ache eating her from the inside out.

It did look gorgeous on Anne’s lithe figure. It was jet black with layers of fabric coming down loosely from the waist and pooling at her feet, cinched with a belt of black silk and white pearl. The dress had short puffed sleeves, something she would’ve been thrilled about a week ago. The chest and upper back had soft ruffles billowing in the front, a white dot adorning it every so often. It seemed like the perfect dress to be draped over somebody’s grave and weeping. She never thought it would be her most kindred spirit’s headstone.

“We should get going,” Anne deadpanned, avoiding the subject entirely. Marilla stood up shakily, reaching for the girl’s hand. Using the other for support, the two women walked to the family graveyard together.

People started to pour in, all clad in their best black numbers. One thing was clear; Every single soul in Avonlea mourned Matthew Cuthbert. Though many had problems with his sharp and unfeeling sister and orphaned and free spirited daughter, no one could deny that he was a kind and unproblematic man. He would be sorely missed and loved by each person in the town.

The service started with the Reverend bowing his head solemnly, starting the sequence of strung together words flowing fluidly from his mouth. To Anne, they were simply that, just words, none of them good enough to express her sorrow.

As the service continued and the pallbearers lowered the casket into the ground, her father clad in a black suit, eyes closed and perfectly still, the shred of hope that maybe this wasn't real escaped her. It was reality and seeing her dearest Matthew being lowered to the ground made it more real. The truth pummeled her like a punch to the gut.

The imagination could not change the fact that Matthew Cuthbert, loving brother and father, was gone. It was like someone had reached into her chest and ripped her heart out, stomping it cruelly until it was broken beyond repair.

The reverend echoed the same words that he had for John Blythe, leaving Anne with curses on her mind and on the tip of her tongue. Wasn't each soul special enough to have their own commemoration instead of the priest's dispassionate delivery of compulsion?

She put the thought out of mind as the service came to an end. All around, she saw people giving Marilla their sympathies and for some reason, she felt wicked and blood boiling anger!

None of these people knew him like she did, yet they feigned that he was someone that they loved more than anything! They said that Matthew Cuthbert was a good man, a kind man, and other generic nice words of the sort. They didn't mention any of the things that made him so distinctly himself, the things that made him someone Anne loved.

They didn't mention how the tips of his white ears would turn rose when someone gave him a compliment(for the man was too shy to accept it), nor how every time things would get slightly uncomfortable, he'd excuse himself to the barn, no matter what time of day. They didn't mention how though he was quite a shy man, he would do anything for Anne and Marilla. They didn't mention his affinity for Anne reading the Brontes’ works to him on quiet Sunday mornings nor how he enjoyed the peace of coffee and a muffin in the barn sometime in between breakfast at 7:30 and lunch at noon, him and Jerry making pleasant small talk. They didn't know him, and how dare they pretend that they did!

The anger slowly ebbed away(but didn’t subside fully) when they retreated back into the house for the post-funeral reception. Anne was disinterested, paying attention to the people she cared about and tuning out the rest as people came forward to offer their condolences.

Soon enough, Diana, Ruby, and Josie got to the front of the line. Knowing Anne, they offered her warm embraces, saying nothing at all. They stood beside her wordlessly, just supporting her when she needed it.

The only thing said was a little sentiment from Diana. “We’re not going to say anything. We don’t know how this feels, so we’re not going to pretend we do. But we’re here for you, Anne.”

“Thank you,” she whispered to them, their silent apologies meaning millions more than anyone else’s. As they were ushered away by their family, she bit her lip and fought the tears coming to her eyes.

“It’s okay to cry,” a voice said from her side. She turned her eyes downward to see little Minnie May, the girl standing proudly. “I do it all the time and so does Mother. She cried just yesterday!”

Anne let out a hollow little laugh. “Oh? What for?” she asked the girl, humoring her as a distraction.

“I cut off all my doll’s hair and made her skirt into trousers so that she-I mean, he-could kiss my other doll.”

“That would’ve certainly caused a scene,” Anne said, nodding her head as the girl skipped off. She stared off into the reception for a couple minutes, letting her eyes wander aimlessly over the people with their faces downcast, talking in hushed morose tones and sharing stories about Matthew with each other.

“Anne,” she heard somebody hiss. She looked over to find a seething Marilla motioning to the people in front of them. “Please be polite!”

“Good morning, Anne. My condolences,” Gilbert said politely, offering her an impersonal smile.

She returned it with a curt nod. “Thank you, Gilbert. How do you do, Bash? How about you, Hazel?How is sweet Delphine? She is growing so fast!” She was a million times friendlier with the latter two and they both pretended they didn’t notice.

“And I thought it was cold outside!” Bash commented, whistling softly. Hazel smacked him upside the head with a disapproving nod, wrapping Anne up in a tight hug. The girl was taken by surprise(Hazel wasn’t one to show affection), but returned it.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to use the privy.” Anne pushed in between Bash and Gilbert, trying not to be conspicuous when she tried to make as much contact with Gilbert as possible as she walked in between them, knowing it could very well be their last touch. She exited the building briskly. Gilbert noticed(he was very aware of Anne) and it gave him some semblance of hope.

For some reason, he decided it would be a good idea to follow her.

“Anne,” he murmured in a hushed tone, trying to grab her attention. “Anne!” She turned to look at him with her eyes cast down.

“If you’ve come to tell me that you never want to speak to me again, don’t bother. I know myself well enough to discern when I’ve crossed a line. You can go back to your life now, I’m sure Christine would be pleased enough to see you again.”

“What?” he said, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Don’t you hate me, Gilbert Blythe? Don’t you wish you had never met me so that you could forget all the mean and hateful things I’ve said to you? Don’t you wish you would’ve gone with Winifred when you had the chance?” she spat, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Of course not,” he said, shocked she’d even think so. “Anne, I could never hate you. You could hurt me a thousand times and I could never hate you.”

“Of course you don’t,” she huffed, putting her head in her hands. “Even though I deserve it, you don’t. Please, spare me the act. I miss my father and I feel like a hellish demon, so if you don’t mean it, don’t say it.”

“I mean it, Anne-girl,” he said softly, staring down at her with huge hazel puppy eyes. He brushed a piece of errant hair behind her ears. “I just don’t understand why you’re pushing me away. I did the same thing when Dad passed, it didn’t help. I thought you were comfortable enough to talk to me about these things. I-Is it me?” he asked helplessly, wishing he could do something other than stand there like a fool.

She was positively appalled. “You? Oh, you foolish boy, of course it isn’t you, that’s the problem! You can’t handle my damage, Gilbert. You can’t handle my whip tongue and you certainly can’t handle being hurt by me over and over and over. So I advise you to go find another more sensible girl to court.”

Instead of a wordy poetic argument like she was expecting, he refused her with an adamant “No.”

“Excuse me?”

“No,” he repeated, shaking his head. “I’m not letting you drown in your own self doubt. You’re hurt, fairy queen, so you push everything away. You’re pushing your feelings away and you’re pushing our family away.” He didn’t realize that he said our until he saw the look on her face.

“Did I offend you?” he asked quickly, his mouth pressed together in a tight lipped frown. “I’m so sorry, Anne. I didn’t mean to-”

She cut him off with something that should’ve happened a long time ago, something that she had been neglecting for a week. Her body had decided it was time to stop neglecting the hollow feeling in her core and replaced with something a hundred times worse, but somehow relieving.

Rippling emotion shook her through. She couldn’t say if it was pain or anger or sadness, but it escaped her through a stifled sob, a lone tear marking a path for many more down its cheek.

“I’m so very sorry,” she cried helplessly, as he tried to alleviate her pain and assure her that there was nothing to be sorry for, that she was never going to be in his bad graces. Slowly, as if to ask for her permission, he wrapped his arms around her carefully, rubbing her back soothingly.

“Is this okay?” he asked her softly. She nodded in his arms.

Bash looked out the window to see what was taking them so long when he saw his brother holding the shorter girl tight in his arms. He smirked besides the situation and remarked, “I’ll say they made up.”


	18. Count On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne bonds with her friends and family, Cole comes out to 3 more people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, just by the summary you could probably tell this is a giant filler because I needed a buffer between her in Avonlea and going back to Queens. Skip it if you want to, but it would make me ecstatic if you read it anyways!

**_You can count on me like one two three  
I'll be there_ **

Anne was sitting with Diana, Ruby, and Josie on her front porch steps. Gilbert had given her some space at her request, but not before ensuring she wasn’t going to block everyone out again.

Ruby was saying something about Tillie’s state of affairs at that moment when she was interrupted by the sound of heavy boots crunching across the snow. Anne looked up through her scarlet lashes and a small smile spread on her face.

“Cole,” she breathed happily, standing to greet him with a hug. “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too, Anne,” he responded, releasing her with a sympathetic smile. “As much as Aunt Jo wanted to come, she’s in Ottawa for some get together or another right now. I’m sorry I was late, some art school stuff got in the way.”

“I understand. I’m just ecstatic you’re here.”

“I wish I didn’t have to be. I’m so sorry, Anne.” He pulled her hand and squeezed it once, releasing it only after she smiled as the other three girls looked at each other in shock. How were they so comfortable touching like that? It simply wasn’t proper when she was already courting!

“Aren’t you going to greet your second best friend, Cole?” Diana asked playfully.

“Of course I am! Hello, Diana!”

“Why, hello, Cole!”

Cole greeted Ruby politely and Josie coldly, not knowing her recent maturity.

Josie looked hurt for a split second, but knew she deserved it. “Cole, I’m sorry for being cruel to you two years ago. Neither you or Anne deserved it. I’m proud to say I have grown a little as a person.” Cole smiled kindly and accepted her apology graciously.

“How is art school going for you?” Anne asked with interest, placing a hand around his shoulders. Ruby, Diana, and Josie- who were all humorously unaware of his preferences- gaped at the friends that seemed to be so comfortable with the touches and embraces.

“It’s amazing,” he gushed blissfully. “All the people are fantastic there! They’re so creative and imaginative and it’s so much more… um, open then Avonlea ever was. Did you know we might go to France in the spring? I might get to see France!”

“That’s great, Cole. I’m so happy for you, really,” she said sincerely, though a full hearted smile was still yet to be on her face. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and Ruby almost fainted.

“Anne,” Ruby began, her voice trembling and small. “Cole is a boy. Do you think Gilbert would be too pleased about you kissing other boys?” Anne did the math quickly. If Ruby told somebody about her kissing Cole, it would either lead to her being known as a harlot or Cole being outed to the town. Either way, not good.

Cole registered the panic in her eyes and made a split second decision. Ruby was open minded and she wouldn’t tell anybody if you asked her not to, but though Josie had changed, he still didn’t know whether she’d take too kindly, not realizing that Josie was going through a similar predicament.

“I want to tell them,” he whispered to Anne. “But I don’t know about Josie.”

“She...might surprise you,” Anne whispered back. “Trust me, I don’t think she will have a problem.”

“If you’re wrong about this and she ends up ruining my reputation...”

“She wouldn’t. It’s your decision to make, but I’m just advising you to not worry about it.” Anne wished she could tell him about Josie because of their similarities, but she couldn’t. It would be a devastating betrayal to the girl.

“Okay, fine,” he said nervously, turning to the group. “You don’t have to worry about me stealing away Anne.”

“What do you mean? She kissed you and you permitted her, despite the fact that she is a woman in a courtship already!” Diana scolded, shaking her head and pouting.

He chuckled deeply, shaking his own head in response. “I’m not fond of the feminine form. If Anne was male, then you’d have something to fuss about.”

Diana understood immediately, connecting him to her Aunt Jo. Josie also understood. He was like her, but different! It took a moment for Ruby.

“You...you love boys?” Ruby asked naively, cocking her head to the side slightly. “I’ve never heard of such a thing before, but I suppose if it makes you happy…” She shrugged with her eyebrows furrowed a little bit in thought. “It’s not affecting anybody else’s well being except yours, so I suppose it’s really not my business telling you what to think, especially when I’m not educated at all on matters of the heart. I guess it is just love. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

Meanwhile, it gave Josie hope. She wasn’t the only one! Cole was like her, attracted to the same gender, only he wasn’t attracted to the opposite like her. That planted a seed of doubt in her mind.Did that make her even more freakish, a floozy who liked to court any boy or girl around? She didn’t know at all, but she put the thought out of mind and smiled.

“That’s amazing, Cole, really. I’m glad you’ve found yourself.” Cole looked mildly surprised and pleased at everyone’s reactions.

“I only have one request. Please do not share this with anyone. Not everyone is as gracious as you ladies.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Ruby promised, touching her heart. Josie made a motion of sealing her lips.

“Anne...did you know this entire time? You’ve been awfully quiet,” Josie remarked slyly.

She just nodded.

_________________

The hearth was roaring, its warmth permeating every surface of the room, but it couldn’t touch the surface of Anne and Marilla’s cold hearts as they tried to focus on anything else and do their needlepoint in their nightclothes.

Anne picked up the project she was working on. She had brought it from her boarding house. She had been working on embroidering a picture of a barn on an open expanse of land for...Matthew. Seeing the unfinished picture brought tears to her eyes and she dropped it with a clatter.

“Anne! Did you prick your finger?” Marilla said, looking up at the girl who was staring at the heap on the floor in anguish.

“No,” she said, a huge lump arising in her throat. Her voice cracked. “I’m just...tired. Excuse me.” She picked the project from off the ground, making sure not to look at it, and headed upstairs, stuffing it into the very bottom of her bag and closing it with a resounding thud.She jumped into her bed and burrowed under the thick downy quilt, squeezing her eyes shut as moisture fell onto her feather pillow.

She fell asleep like this, a huge tear mark staining her pillow.

“Anne,” he rasped, face ashen and colorless, hands stone cold and lips twisted into a slight frown. Looming above him was the black and hooded personification of death, one sickly hand outstretched to take him away from her forever.

“Matthew,” she cried, the word getting stuck in her throat. She tried to run to him, save him from the imminent doom, but her feet were glued to the floor. She could only watch, she could only weep as the figure grinned sadistically and laid its filthy hands on her father and drained his essence out of him. She screamed as she saw life escape him right before her eyes.

“Anne! Anne!” Somebody shook her awake and she shot up in bed, panting heavily, shrieking a bloodcurdling scream, and tears running down her face.

Not thinking, she only had one word on her lips when she woke. “Matthew.”

It slipped as easily as soup, but just that was enough to make her even sadder.

“I know,” the woman beside her said sadly, placing a hand on her hair and pressing a kiss to it. Even Marilla had tears in her eyes. Anne clung tightly to the older woman, whimpering pathetically. The woman tried to repress tears of her own as they held each other for dear life, missing the only person who could possibly make this better.

A day later…

“Are you sure you don’t need me around Green Gables?” Anne asked Marilla as the train pulled into Bright River.

“No, go to Queens, Anne. I have Jerry and Rachel around to help.”

“Alright, then. Goodbye, dear Marilla.” She kissed the woman on the cheek and hugged her tightly.

“Goodbye, Anne!” Anne blew her a kiss as she picked up her bag and boarded the train, hiking up her skirt an inch to climb the stairs and into the car with Diana, Ruby, Cole, and Josie. Gilbert had left the day before for Toronto.

Anne looked out her window nervously, tears in her clear blue eyes.

“Are you alright?” Josie asked her softly from her right side, placing her hand on Anne’s shoulder and squeezing it.

“Yes, just… melancholy,” she sighed, blinking away the ache in her eyes.

“Talk to us if you need to,” Diana encouraged, smiling from her left side. Ruby was talking with Cole about proper painting technique(she dabbled) across from them. “We’re always here.”

“I know,” Anne said kindly, putting an arm around each of them. “I’m ever so grateful for you.”

“I owe more to you,” Diana and Josie said at the same time, laughing when they realized their little overlap.

“You made me realize my self worth,” Josie said genuinely, squeezing Anne good naturedly.

“And I learned to think for myself because of you,” Diana finished, leaning her head on the girl’s shoulder for a moment.

“I love you girls more than life itself,” Anne said earnestly, a watery smile coming to her face.

“Don’t let Gilbert hear you saying that,” Josie teased, nudging the girl playfully. Anne smacked the girl on the arm in false chastisement.

“It’s true, I don’t think his tender heart could take it,” Diana added in, grinning devilishly.

“He’ll just have to suffer then. Girls...and boy, I propose we take an oath to never put boys before our friendship. Our friendships were there before our paramours and they will be there long after.” She extended her pinky fingers to Josie and Diana who in turn clasped theirs with the person next to them and so on.

In that moment, Anne knew that even when it was her against the world, when it seemed like she’d never be truly happy again, she had a support system of the best people she could ask for.


	19. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Josie’s interactions: a mini interlude to distract from all the angst. Starting from Alex’s letter after that fateful night at the ruins.

**_You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter  
You are the best thing, that's ever been mine…_ **

Dear Miss Josie Pye,

When I received your response to my humble question, I was beyond thrilled. Thrilled would be down playing it by a million times because truthfully, you are the most extraordinary girl I’ve ever met. All women are beautiful in their own ways, but something about you had me utterly besotted since the first glance.

It is now that I formally beseech you to answer a simple question. Please, do not be offended at my forwardness. It is my understanding that regularly, people do not jump into courtships after a weekend of festivities, but you must understand that I simply do not care and I hope you don’t either. So, I guess I am asking you, begging you for permission to wear the title ‘Josie Pye’s beau’ proudly. I wish I was there with you. I could’ve been a conventional partner. I should’ve come calling at your doorstep with a bouquet of blue hydrangeas and gold roses to compliment your stunning eyes and lovely locks of hair. But unfortunately, I find myself 16 hours away from the desirable situation, so this is the next best alternative.

If you refuse my advances, you need only say so, sweet Josie. I won’t be offended. I will not deny that I would be crestfallen, but I would not spite you the slightest. I am not the kind of man that shows respect to women only when trying for their hand. I would be happy still if friendship was the only thing you desired, though I hope you reciprocate.

Awaiting your response eagerly,

Alexander Whitmore

PS.If you agree, I am calling you ‘Zia’. We courting types have to have exclusive names. I don’t make the rules.

Dear Alexander Whitmore,

I thought I had made my intentions perfectly clear, but I suppose not.

Darling Alex, I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you would be mine someday, all notions of propriety be damned. So of course, a million times, my answer is yes, if you will have me.

My mother and father were over the moon when I announced your taking notice of me, though they were baffled about how someone in such high esteem and financial security such as yourself would want to marry ‘a low-born Pye’. Their words, not mine. I could sense the implied ‘especially you’ tacked on at the end because of my history.

There is one thing you should know about me, Alex. The town is mum about it to outsiders for fear of sullying their reputation(as if debauchery was contagious!), but I am used goods, I’m afraid. Although my former beau, William Andrews, and I did not take the...full steps, he tried to use my body without my consent. He forced himself on me, and now the town thinks I am a woman of loose morals and Billy a man of high esteem. Many a prospective suitor are repelled from me as soon as I mention this, so I’m telling you this before my heart may be broken by any imminent rejection.

If this detail may be overlooked, I would be obliged to announce to any and all men that I am happily taken.

Have you told your parents?

Yours,

Josie Pye

P.S. I quite like the nickname.

P.P.S Assuming you wrote the previous letter the first day after getting back at the very earliest, how did it get delivered in 3 days? It usually takes 6-7 days.

Dearest Zia,

Let me tell you that the very notion that I would reject you because some boy with no dignity decided to try and violate such a beautiful and honorable woman is a preposterous. Those men who have turned you away for such a foolish reason must be nitwits, but I have them to thank for gaining your favor. If one of them had the good sense to try for your graces, you would be a taken woman and I would be a heartbroken man.

Your mother and father, though I have utmost respect for them, are absolutely incorrect in assuming that you are anything less than perfect. I don’t care if you have 1 or 1 million dollars in the bank, my feelings for you remain the same. I have more than enough for the both of us. You’ll never want for anything.

Enough about this foolish business. It is almost the new year, decade, and millennium. 1900 will be a year of change, I can feel it.

How is Queens? You’re majoring in teaching, is that correct? There are no words to express how proud I am that you and the rest of the girls are pursuing an education. I'm enthralled to hear that my sweetheart is pursuing what my sisters were never permitted to. Modern women are the future and I’m sure in the next millennium, women will have full suffrage and cads like William will be rid of forever.

It is quite ironic that I am sitting here writing this letter. I used tease Gilbert for spending an hour singing Anne’s praises on paper. By the time he was done, he’d have several pages full of romantic fancies to send to her and when he came from the post office, he’d have another even fatter envelope. Now, I sit here writing to my own sweetheart, completely gone over the beguiling woman this letter will soon reach and Gilbert teases me mercilessly!

I have not told my parents because truthfully, they are very stuffy and conservative people. They do not subscribe to any progressive thinking whatsoever. They believe in all the old fashioned nonsense, including the caste system and the oppression of women. Please, do not be alarmed. I have never believed any of their ancient values and surely value you above my family name. I would already forsake all of my esteem for you, dearest Zia. That is how much you have captured my heart.

In response to your question, the reason the letters are reaching so fast is that I have connections in the post office and I demanded only the best of service for the best of all women.

Things are well here in Toronto. Medical school is a bit challenging, but I do make it out with highest of honors. Gilbert and I have made it somewhat of a competition for grades. He wins about 60% of the time, but I only trail behind by a point or two. That boy really is smart, but he never lets loose. Always cooped up inside the flat with schoolwork, letters, or Christine, although he’ll occasionally be persuaded to leave the house for a pint or a bite of food.

If you were here, darling, I would show you every sight there was to see.

First, I would take you to this little lake near the campus that overlooks the sunset in the morning. I would take you to my favorite French bakery and buy you as many brioches and croissants and patisseries your tender heart could want for. I would walk you around the city and show you every one of the shops and hold your soft and warm hand the entire time.

When you saw a dress or a trinket you adored, I would introduce you to the clerk as ‘my sweetheart, my Josie’ and tell him to let you have whatever you desired. I’d take you to meet all the girls and boys I know and we’d hang out in one jolly group and have lunch in the courtyard. I would make it explicit to all the men in Toronto that you were taken.

At 4:00, I would steal you away and I would take you to my favorite confectionary. I would share a large sundae with you and we would eat all the candies we could. After you’d had your fill of sweets, I would take you to all the historical buildings. At 7:00, we would join Gilbert for a home cooked dinner(I would make it, Gilbert can make nothing but the bare necessities, so unless you want oatmeal, a cheese sandwich, and a piece of meat to be the only thing you eat, leave it to me.), with a box of the finest red wine. Afterwards, I would serve you some cake.

This is my favorite part now. I would take you to the very outskirts, where not a speck of smoke pollutes the air, out to a big pasture. I would show you the constellations and kiss you under the moonlight.

Thinking of you,

Your Alex

Sweet Alex,

Your letter was the cause of such merciless teasing from the girls! Somehow, they got their hands on it before I even got an opportunity to read it and decided to humiliate me by reading it aloud. Thankfully, it was just the girls and not Charlie or Moody or the Pauls. Oh, how it made me blush furiously. They all mocked me about it. I felt warm in the face for hours thinking of your words and was pink for the rest of the day.

I feel like any moment I could wake up from the most wonderful dream. It began with the most splendid night that I have only vague memory of(There was a lot of alcohol involved as I assume you recall), but every moment with you was crystal clear. Time seemed to stop. That night ended with you kissing my cheek and I nearly swooned right there. That says a lot because I am NOT a swooning type of girl. Ruby and Tillie maybe, but after Billy and the plentiful rejections because of that scoundrel, I lost faith in romance until you came around.

And now, I’m sitting here writing letters to a man who not only overlooks my scars and ghosts, but drives them away with his reassuring and caring words. Are you quite sure you shouldn’t take up writing? I jest, of course. Though your flattery makes me feel in ways that would be quite improper to write on paper, you are certainly not on Anne’s level of imagery, bless the girl.

How coincidental that we both face the same predicament regarding our friends. The girls tease Anne and I with no abandon when we sit down to write our letters. I know how to handle it though. I simply bring up the fact that Tillie has to schedule outings with each of her two beaus! I wonder sometimes whether that girl really wants to decide. I’ve heard of arrangements in the city with three people and I sometimes wonder if she wishes she could be like that. Either ways, she is mortified whenever I bring it up, so it is effective.

Life at Queens is beautiful. It is everything I’ve ever wished for, except for the fact that you aren’t here. I am a teaching major and though I do not possess the passion that Anne has, it is enjoyable to be learning alongside my best friends. I have grown closer to Anne over the past year, especially since you’ve heard of the second ghastly incident with dratted Billy. Will that boy ever learn? You’ll be pleased to know that your darling sweetheart did in fact deliver a sharp blow to his nose. He won’t be set right for weeks according to Jane!

She was mostly supportive, but she is skeptical about how truthful the allegations against him are. I suppose she doesn’t want to believe her brother is such a rotten soul and I worry for our friendship if this continues. She used to be my closest and bestest friend, but we drift apart by the day. We remain friends, but I wouldn’t consider her my best friend anymore. It seems everyone has somebody. Anne has Diana and Ruby, Jane has Tillie, and I sometimes wonder where I fit. Anne has confided how much she relies on me(and I her) and I find myself naturally gravitating to her. Oh, how the tables have turned! It brings me great comfort that I have you if all else fails.

Anne griped horribly when you mentioned Christine. That girl has such horrible problems with her self esteem! She has some fear that Gilbert- keep in mind, the very same boy who has held a candle and ignored every beautiful woman and broken Ruby’s heart for her- is going to leave her for Christine. How silly! Now, me being a bit worried for myself when you mention the lovely city girls, that is reasonable.

I wish I was in Toronto to do all those delightful things with you! You might want to rethink letting me splurge on things because I do adore sweets and dresses! You might be bankrupt by the end of the day.

If you were to kiss me, I’m sure I might faint on the spot. I suppose there’s no other way to know than to try it out when you see me next, don’t you think?

Of course, it wouldn't do for me to faint every time you kissed me, so I must develop practice. I would be more than willing to "practice" with you, Alex. Oh dear, how untoward I sound! I feel like a harlot, but after proofreading some of Anne's letters(under a strict code of confidentiality not tell a soul of what she's written), I am less concerned.

I suppose you’ve heard about Anne’s poor Matthew by now. I’m going to Avonlea to support her. I do hope he doesn’t pass. He is such a sweet soul.

Wishing you were with me,

Your Josie

TELEGRAM

FROM: MISS JOSIE PYE

PYE ESTATE

AVONLEA, PEI

TO: MR. ALEXANDER WHITMORE

UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO

TORONTO, ONTARIO

ALEX, MATTHEW PASSED LAST NIGHT STOP ANNE IS DEVASTATED, GILBERT WILL BE RETURNING ON SUNDAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: would you guys want a timeline rewind for one chapter from their perspective and actually see what led to such… *ahem* amorous letters?


	20. betty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert pushes Christine away after a shocking turn of events and writes to Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There really is no excuse to why I've kept you guys waiting so long except for the fact that I've been obsessively listening to folklore, my favorite album, by my favorite artist, Taylor Swift. STREAM IT CONSTANTLY AND GET THE SONGS TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS!!!

**_The only thing I wanna do  
Is make it up to you_ **

Gilbert had just returned on Sunday at midday. He had greeted Alex and Zachary and Zachary had gone out with a girl while Alex was ever the faithful beau, picking up produce for dinner.

It had been an hour when he heard a knocking on the door. He got up tiredly to open it, his mind exhausted from the school work he was catching up on.

In front of him was his friend in all her glory. Her black ringlets were done a lot more extravagant than usual and her white lace dress(which was almost translucent in all the right places) was more subtly revealing, outlining all her womanly curves without risking being known as a trollop to the campus.

“Gilbert, where were you this week? I nearly failed a test without my favorite partner!” she whined, stepping closer to him slowly.

“I was preoccupied with some family affairs back home,” he explained, stepping to the side to let her in. “Tea?”

“That sounds delightful.” He poured them both a mug of tea and she sat down across from him on his small dining table.

“Family affairs? A wedding or something? Not yours, I hope,” she said innocently, even though Zachary had told her where Gilbert was.

“No, a funeral,” he said, his tone laced with sadness.

“Oh no!” she exclaimed fakely. “Whose?”

“Anne’s father’s. Heart failure. He… was like a father figure to me too.” he said solemnly. This was her time. His dratted ginger girl wasn’t here and he was grieving. She would swoop in and steal him right underneath her nose!

“Oh Gilbert,” she breathed, placing a strategic hand on top of his hand that was resting near his cup on the table. “How heartbreaking! Are you alright?”

With an uncomfortable smile, he pulled his hand back into his lap, much to her dismay. “I’m just fine, thank you. I’m really very sorry for my Anne. He was her father.”

“I’ll bet. Poor little girl,” she said fakely, putting an emphasis on little girl. She was in no way comparable to Christine’s maturity to her. “Dearest Gil, don’t take this the wrong way, but isn’t it hard having to court a woman who is grieving? After all, you are her suitor, not her babysitter.”

“I don’t mind it,” he said in a strange tone, not quite comfortable with her pet name. “I’ve loved her since I was fifteen and I want to be there for her.”

Damn him! He was so supportive of this girl who lacked any of the charm that Christine had. She couldn’t do this anymore, she needed to make it clear how she felt.

“Gilbert,” she said confidently, breathing in and out once. “I don’t want to pretend anymore, I don’t think you do either.” She stood up and he stood up with her, his face blank.

“What… do you mean?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Don’t you feel it, Gilbert?” she pleaded, stepping closer to her. “The sparks?” She picked up his muscular hand and placed it on her heart. He recoiled immediately, pulling his hand back to his side.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said cautiously, backing away. “You should go. I have work to catch up on.”

“No, Gilbert, I know you feel it too,” she lied, backing him into a wall slowly. “I think you know what I’m talking about. You love me too, don’t you?” She placed a soft white hand on his face, stroking it. Gilbert gently picked her wrist and took it off his face. Her touch was all wrong. He didn’t know how to explain it. It didn’t have the kind of electricity and love that Anne’s had. Maybe that was it. She just wasn’t Anne, so it was terribly wrong.

“No,” he said politely, stepping away from her. “I have tremendous respect for you as a friend and you are a wonderful woman, but I’ve made it clear that I wouldn’t leave Anne for the world.”

“I am a wonderful woman, Gil, a million times more suited for you!”

“I would appreciate you calling me Gilbert, thank you,” he said nervously, walking towards the door to open it and let her out. “Please, you should get going and it’s best we don’t broach this subject again.”

“No, Gilbert, our connection… it’s undeniable! I know in your heart of hearts that you love me!” In a desperate move, she made an on spot decision. After this, he’d know exactly where his heart belonged: with her.

“No, I-”

“You will see, Gilbert. Tell me we don’t belong with each other when I do this!” In a frantic attempt, she pressed her plump red lips against his.

Any other man would have gladly accepted her embrace. She was skilled with her lips and hands, but to Gilbert, she could’ve been Lady Aphrodite herself and it wouldn’t have mattered. He loved Anne so much that he’d die for her and he could certainly tell off a woman for her heart’s sake.

He didn’t feel ‘sparks’ like she claimed he would against her insistent and dominating lips, the sweetest of kisses was with Anne, tentative lips moving against each other as equals. Even a single look from her had more electricity in it than this kiss. With Anne, it truly felt like they were made for each other, their bodies fitting like puzzle pieces. With Christine, all his brain could do was scream ‘THIS IS WRONG’.

So just a second later, he pushed her off him gently, the woman gasping in surprise. He threw open the door, his face contorted into a vicious glower that Christine had never once seen him sport.

“I have told you time and time again that I am courting somebody that I love far better than anybody else. You have blatantly disrespected my wishes, boundaries, and furthermore, disrespected the girl who is my future. Please, exit my house and never approach me again.”

_______________________

When Alexander got back from a grocery run to see Gilbert miserably looking out the window, he knew something was wrong.

“Gilbert? Are you alright?” he asked carefully, setting the bag of goods down.

“No,” he groaned defeatedly, putting his head in his hands. “I’m a bad person, Alex. Anne has been nothing but unfailingly loyal and I… I should have seen the signs and-”

“Hold on, mate. Slow down, what happened?” With a defeated sigh, Gilbert relayed the story to him.

Alex just stared at him with a pitiful expression. “You’re in deep rubbish, aren’t you?” he finally said.

“I didn’t need a prophet to tell me that,” Gilbert grumbled, rubbing his temple. I want to tell Anne, but I feel like I betrayed her, that she’s never going to forgive me.”

“Listen, this is NOT your fault. You told Christine to stop making advances, didn’t you?” Gilbert nodded.

“And when she decided to lay one on you, you pushed her away, didn’t you?” Gilbert nodded again. “You did what you could to stop her and Anne will understand. She might need some time to process, but you need to tell her. I don’t know Anne as well as I know you or Josie, but I’ve met her and she’ll understand. She’ll move on if you tell her exactly what you told me; Christine made a move on you and tried to kiss you, but you told her that you were happily in love already.”

Gilbert looked at the tall man in amazement. “You court a girl for three weeks and now you’re the love expert, huh?”

“What can I say? I’m a quick study.” The blonde boy grinned, winking cheekily.

“Don’t get too happy yet, there’s still the matter on what to say in the letter that to have to deal with.” Alex clapped Gilbert on the back.

“You can worry about that tomorrow, mate. For now, it’s still the weekend and I think both of us could use a drink or two or five.”

It was two hours later when the two boys were intoxicated out of their minds, rambling aimlessly.

“Josie is very pretty,” Alex slurred, a silly smile on his face talking about the girl. “She writes me back every time I send her a le- letter and I have a whole box of them!”

“You know who else is pretty? Anne,” Gilbert replied dreamily, imagining the girl’s smiling face in his head. “And her hair...it’s like fire! It’s beau-beau-beautiful,” he fumbled, having trouble with the longer words.

“Josie’s hair is gold. Not like mine. Hers is curly and I want to touch it, but I can’t because I’m here and she’s allll the way over in Charlottetown.,” he exaggerated, putting his hand out to signify the distance between them. “I wish she was here and I could hug her. She’s very tiny. She’s only this big,” he pointed to the place on his upper chest. “And I’m this big.”

“Anne’s tiny,” Gilbert said, not being able to get off the subject of his lovely sweetheart. “What if she never forgives me?” he said sadly, his lip quivering slightly. “I would be in the depths of despair. She says that a lot, you know?”

Alex ignored him in favor of talking about his Josie. “I think… I think I love her. Some day, I’m going to marry her and have an army of kids that look just like her.”

“All my kids are gonna have red hair and blue eyes.”

Like that, the two boys drifted off to sleep in that position, revealing all the thoughts they had about their darlings to their best friend. Someday, their dreams would come true, but till then, they just had to be patient.

_____________________________

_My Anne, keeper of my heart,_

_I’m afraid I have some news that will disappoint you. I did not want to burden you with this kind of disheartening news, but I needed to tell you straight away._

_It appears your suspicions about Christine were right. Her friendship was no more than a facade to cover up her true intentions. Please, Anne, do not be cross with me. I apologize for any pain I might cause you in advance. Please know I did nothing to encourage her in any way and that my heart belongs to you and only you._

_It would be one thing if she was only flirtatious, dearest. But the fact of the matter is that she kissed me, Anne. I am so sorry. I never meant for it to happen and I turned down every single once of her advances. She would not go and she kissed me. I pulled her off me immediately. There is no one for me except for you, faerie queen. There will never be anyone but you. Please, forgive me._

_I love you more than I love anyone, Anne._

_Love,_

_your (and only your) Gil_

_**P.S. Hello, Anne. Gilbert does not know I’m writing this. I’m supposed to be delivering this to the post office now. Alex here. Please, please, please believe him. He’ll get all mopey if you don’t and that would be cruel and unusual punishment for yours truly, considering you’re not the one who has to put up with his dramatics day in and day out. On another note, could you please tell Josie that I look forward to her next letter and that I miss her very much?** _

_Dear Gilbert,_

_I don’t know what to say. I really don’t, which is a first for me. I find it a little odd that this happened right after you assured me you’d be there for me._

_I trust you, Gilbert. I trust you more than I trust some girl, so I believe you. I just need to make peace with the fact that you are an attractive young man and that women will like you, girls who may be more beautiful than me._

_I only ask of one thing; Tell me when this happens so we can work through it. Miscommunication has always been our hamartia and I’d like to fix it. I feel too controlling asking you to cut ties with Christine, but truthfully, it would make me feel better if I were to be reassured that she will not interfere again. I understand if it is too much to ask._

_I love you too, dearest Gil._

_Sending all my warm wishes,_

_Anne_

_P.S. Alex, as per your request, I have believed him. I’ve personally never seen Gilbert mope and I look forward to hearing about his reaction. Josie sends her regards and would like you to know she misses you terribly and something else about sweets?_

_**Alex, this is Josie. Anne is a forgetful goose, so I am taking this letter from her and completing her incomplete sentiment. What she meant to say was that I’d forsake all the confections in the world to have you here with me. Some writer she is.** _


	21. Girl at Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne has a conversation with an insistent and appalling new character.

**_And it would be a fine proposition  
If I was a stupid girl  
But honey, I am no-one's exception  
This, I have previously learned_ **

Anne loved her new English class, to say the very least. It was everything she ever dreamed of and her teacher was amazing.

Lavendar Irving was a petite woman with carefully styled snow white hair and girlish brown eyes that was in her 40s, but she radiated an aura of innocence and purity. Her imagination was almost as good as Anne’s and she was a sure kindred sprit.

“Class is dismissed! Your assignment today is to write at least one page of analysis of chapter four through six of ‘Little Women’. Which character do you feel closest to and why?” she announced as students packed up.

Just as Anne was about to leave, she felt a little tap on her shoulder. She turned to see a tall and distinguished looking man, with a sable black mop of neatly groomed hair, melancholy and inscrutable dark eyes, and a radiant smile that was almost bewitching.

When she was but a girl, she had imagined a man just like him as her romantic ideal, manly and mysterious, but now she had someone far better, someone who really understood her inside and out. Plus, Gilbert was far more handsome than this man. Just his chin was miles beyond what any boy she’d ever seen had to offer. Now she knew that romance wasn’t about wickedness or thrills, it was about the emotional understanding and genuine chemistry between two people.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you weren’t in this class prior to last week. My name is Royal Gardner,” he introduced, putting out his hand. Anne shook her hand gently, smiling at the kind boy. She felt self conscious when she saw a crowd of girls all glower at her. It seemed that this boy was quite the popular ladies man!

“Anne Shirley-Cuthbert-B-” she cut herself off, cringing at her misspeak, knowing she had been thinking of this subject way too often. She fingered her little carrot necklace nervously. “You’re right, I transferred from a more basic class.”

“I’m guessing you’re not a writing major then?”

“No, teaching actually,” she corrected humbly.

“How noble,” Royal said. “I heard you during class. You’re very intelligent for a girl. I thought teaching majors only had to take a basic level of English?” She was slightly offended that he thought girls were any less worthy of intelligence than boys, but she carried the conversation out of decency and politeness.

“They do, but I genuinely wanted to learn more advanced English. I’m an avid writer,” she explained.

“Really? I’m a poet myself,” he said excitedly, flashing her a grin that she was sure made three girls behind her swoon. She almost rolled her eyes. Royal was handsome, but he wasn’t much better than average for her.

“How perfectly delightful! I love recitations, but I’m more inclined towards prose than poetry.”

“Understandable. I’ve always found prose to be fascinating, but there is something romantic about poetry, wouldn’t you say?” he asked, a spark in his pitch dark eyes. She was a bit uncomfortable as his rapturous gaze fell on her. She held her books close to her chest, covering up the upper half of her torso, and she could’ve sworn his smile dulled a bit. Gilbert was always happy to see her, no matter if she was wearing baggy rags or her finest, formfitting, most womanly dress.

“There is,” she agreed. “The language of love second only to the French language.”

“Indeed,” he agreed, chuckling. “You would make a beautiful poem.”

“Pardon?” she asked, her right eyebrow lifting quizzically.

“You are practically begging for a poem to be written about you. I can see it now.

Eyes of dove,

Hair of fire,

Anne, girl of love.” Anne blushed, though she rejected his subtle advance politely.

“Keep your flirtations to yourself, thank you,” she guided gently. “You flatter me greatly and are very kind, but I am not interested in such offers, Mr. Gardner.”

He ignored her kind rejection and said, “Roy, Miss Anne. I insist, if we are to be on good terms.” She didn’t know what kind of good terms he meant, but judging by the girls around her, she was despised by half the girls in class already. Oh well, she was used to it.

“Alright, Roy. What type of literature do you enjoy, besides poetry?” she asked.

“I do enjoy a good book. However, I just don’t see the appeal of such overrated works like Austen’s.” For Anne, that statement was practically blasphemic.

“You must be joking!”

“Not at all. Pride and Prejudice especially. I find that particular relationship revolting. Just not my cup of tea.” He scrunched up his nose.

“Do you mean the very same Lizzie Bennet and Mr. Darcy? I cannot fathom Austen not being everyone’s cup of tea. She’s a literary genius.” Her mouth was wide open. “You have upset me greatly with this statement, Mr. Gardner.” She did not mean it, of course. There was light in her eyes and he caught on to it.

“Perhaps I could make it up to you,” he suggested. She was caught off guard and frowned.

“Mr. Gardner, I can assure you that I am not an untoward girl,” she warned warily, stepping back and prepared to walk away if need be.

“Nothing improper, Miss Anne. Just oblige me with your lovely presence at tea this afternoon?” he requested sweetly.

“You’re very kind, Roy, but I’m afraid I have a beau in Toronto,” she said apologetically, thinking he would understand and be content with her friendship.

“And?” he said boredly. “What is stopping you then? He doesn’t have to know.”

“Oh Roy, that is simply so wrong,” she exclaimed in shock. As if she would engage in the sort!

“Is it? I know of so many boys who have two or three girls and they’re all blissfully unaware. Hell, I myself have a girl or two vying for my favor. If you really believe in women’s equality as passionately as you come off, what is stopping you?”

“What is stopping me? My sense of good morals, of course! I would never betray him like that!” she explained, thoroughly offended that he would ever insinuate that she’d betray her Gilbert so cruelly.

“Then leave him! I’m a Gardner! My family probably earns his entire life’s wage in a week and I’m sure he’s about as handsome as a rat compared to me!” he sniffed condescendingly.

“Did you not hear me, Roy? I am happily with a man of higher morals and if you must know, appearances than yourself!” she hissed rebukingly. “I love him beyond anything you have to offer and I would like you to leave me!” She started to walk away, but he grabbed her arms.

“But Anne, I thought you liked me! Give me a chance! Break relations with him! I’m a nice boy!” he pleaded pathetically, trying a different tactic.

“I have no obligations to you! Just because you are ‘nice,’ which you are proving not to be, gives me no apt reason to court you. I am simply not attracted to you!”

“Girls like you are so fickle! You lead nice men like me on and don’t even give them a chance! Why do I bother being nice to girls if they won’t give me a chance?” he raged, his dark eyes furious. Anne was just as angry, her pearl eyes fiery with disbelief and vexation.

“Boys like you is why I am thankful beyond measure for respectable men like my Gilbert,” she jerked her hand back, sneering fiercely at the misogynistic man. If her Matthew or Gilbert was here, he’d give the man something way worse than a rejection. “Never talk to me again, Mr. Gardner, for I certainly will resort to things much worse than a polite rejection next time.”


	22. Stand By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and her closest friends confide in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warm and fuzzy chapter with our favorite broTPs.

**_And hey, if your wings are broken  
Please take mine so yours can open too  
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you_ **

“He actually said that?” Josie said after a stunned silence.

“Not a fib in the entire story,” Anne swore solemnly. Anne, Diana, and Josie-the three beaux-less girls- were sitting in the parlor on Friday night while the other girls were out with their beaux. Jane had multiple suitors vying for her attention, but had graced one of them with her company at dinner. Tillie and Paul A(much to Paul S’s dismay) were out on the town, and Moody had taken Ruby dancing to make up for their lack of presence in the Dashing White Sergeant.

“I thought the Gardners were a reputable family,” Diana said, her eyebrows furrowing. “My great cousin Bertha knew the Gardners’ neighbors’ aunt and they’re a very… financially endowed-and therefore, respected- family around here. How could he do something like that?”

“Having been on the receiving end of not only verbal, but physical attacks, I have it on authority that money does not buy respectability. Stay away from him, Anne, he’s giving me the same red flags I saw with Billy,” Josie advised with a roll of her eyes. “People like that are revolting.”

“She’s right. He was the type of man who was nice to women only when he wanted something from them,” Anne agreed.

“What are you going to tell Gilbert?” asked Diana curiously. “I know he’ll understand.”

“Goodness,” Anne lamented with a sigh, placing her cheek in her right handi. “This is coming at the very worst time. He’ll think I’m some vengeful witch that just wanted revenge when this was not my intention in the slightest.”

“I’m not sure I comprehend you,” said Diana quizzically. “Vengeful?”

Anne immediately realized her slip up and sighed dismally. “I have been withholding information from you girls. It’s been troubling me for days now.”

Both of them looked immediately curious. “What is it, Anne?” Josie asked with concern in her tone.

“Do you remember when I told you about that nightmare Christine?” she asked them, broaching the topic slowly so they wouldn’t jump to conclusions.

“You told me you had a bad feeling about her,” Diana said, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms. “What about it?”

“It just so happens that my hunch was correct,” Anne revealed sadly, her pink lips downturning. “She kissed him and tried to…” She hesitated, but the girls all knew where it was going. Diana let out a small and sympathetic gasp, a hand floating to her mouth, and Josie frowned.

‘She tried take him away from her. A more winsome, sultry, wealthy girl had attempted to steal loving, charming, handsome Gilbert away from me, a homely orphan.’ Anne thought despondently.

“Did-did it work?” Josie asked with a hint of worry in her voice. “It’s Gilbert, so I doubt it, but things change.”

“No, thankfully. He asked her to leave,” Anne explained.

“As I expected. Gilbert has been head over heels for you since we were but children,” Josie replied very matter of factly. “So, what’s the problem?”

“Think of the timing! I’ve always put my foot in it concerning Gilbert! Roy trying to take me to tea will look like I was purposely egging him on as revenge!” she groaned, putting her head in her hands.

Josie rolled her eyes fantastically, swept Anne’s hands out from under her, smoothed down her hair, and forced her to stop moping. “Anne, I care about you very dearly and you’re one of my best friends, so I mean this in the best possible way and I’m sure Diana agrees. Stop being such a goose!”

“Excuse me?” Anne said, a crease forming in her forehead, coming out of her dramatics to be confused for a split second.

“Josie is absolutely right! You’re overthinking this too much, Anne,” Diana declared, shaking her head decisively.

Josie nodded sagely and continued, “Both you and Gilbert are attractive young people-trust me, I’d know,” she mumbled low enough for only Anne to hear. “-and you both will have people vying for your favors whether you are taken or not. I wish it wasn’t so, but this is the state of the world.”

“As long as you prove loyal to each other and maintain good communication with each other about these things, everything will be alright,” Diana said with a small smile and squeeze of Anne’s shoulder.

“I suppose you’re right,” Anne murmured in consideration. “I’ll write him first thing in the morning.”

“Now, speaking of…” Josie tittered with a sly smirk. “You and Gilbert have been courting since… September, was it? It’s almost mid-November now.”

Diana also let out a small squealing giggle. “I know you and Gilbert are so studious that you’ll probably wait until at least you are done with Queens, but it has been over two months! You must at least be talking about the future by now.” She said future as if it was some enticingly flirtatious word exchanged between only the most passionate of lovers.

Anne’s face flushed, turning bright red. She cast her eyes down and mumbled, “We’ve broached the subject, but quite briefly.”

“Oh?” Josie said, raising an eyebrow expertly. “Just how briefly?”

“Do tell, Anne,” Diana urged with a spark of rare mischief in her dark eyes.

“I have mentioned, only once or twice,” she added at the end quickly when she saw their faces light up. “The… prospect of marriage and a family one day in the future, the far future,” she completed regally, satisfied with her brief explanation and nodding decisively at the end.

This was enough for the other two girls to gush childishly and bounce in their seats, squealing like schoolgirls.

“I’ll bet that you’ll be engaged by summer,” Josie guessed confidently, smiling at Anne with a dreamy look in her eyes, holding her rosy hand up dramatically as if there was a ring on it.

Diana clasped her hand together near her heart and nodded in agreement and added, “And married by the winter after that.”

Anne’s eyes widened and she broke eye contact, flushing so her skin matched her hair. It was times like these you could see the miniscule traits that she had picked up from her late surrogate father. She mumbled a quick yet inept denial.

“She’s embarrassed because she knows it’s true!” Josie cackled with Diana, the two of them leaning on each other as they exploded with laughter.

“And what about you, Josie? It has been a month, has it not?” Anne retorted smartly, sticking her chin in the air defensively.

“I’ll have you know, we’ve been taking it slowly,” Josie scoffed defensively. “We haven’t kissed once, but I seem to recall you and Gilbert having a particularly… passionate display outside of Blackmore House the morning before school started even though it was not Saturday between the hours of two and four? The kind that most would say is appropriate for after a marital bed has been shared?”

“Josie!” Diana hissed disapprovingly, hitting the girl softly on the arm. “Do you think Mrs. Blackmore would take too kindly to hearing seventeen year old young women talking about...that?”

“Talking about what?” a voice said from behind them. They all paled to see Mrs.Blackmore herself with a disapproving eyebrow raised.

“Oh, nothing, Ma- I mean, Mrs. Blackmore!” Anne chirped fakely. “You know how it is with gossip amongst the little town we come from.”

“Yes,” ‘Mang’ accepted warily. “I’d advise you girls to watch your mouths. Foul speaking is not permitted here. It is a sanctuary to all women of class and grace. Especially you, Miss Pye, though if I’ve heard correctly, it is only a matter of time before it becomes Mrs.”

As soon as she left, the three girls burst into delirious laughter.

“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Josie chortled. “Could you imagine me one year ago being the foul mouthed girl in the group? The mean girl, perhaps, but my mother would have a conniption if she heard me talking about this!”

“Josie in 1888 was an entirely different person, I’m sure. I think distancing yourself from caring about society’s opinions has done you a world of good,” Anne observed, wrapping an arm around the blonde.

“Have I really changed that much?” Josie asked, a frown impressing on the side of her lips. If she had changed, was she not herself for the first fifteen years of her life? Was her childhood all a lie?

“You have changed, but in the best way, Josie,” Diana reassured in her typical sweet manner. “Your general comportment has turned completely. Now, you carry yourself with confidence and kindness, but…” She struggled for words and looked to Anne.

“But who you were on the inside, that part stayed. The sarcastic, curious, and jocular part that we loved about you is still here. Just the condescension was replaced with empathy and you developed more confidence in who you were. You stopped trying to fill all the roles people wanted you to fill.”

“Well, experiences change people,” Josie added, a tinge of sadness replacing her gleeful tone that disappeared as quickly as it came. “But I think… though I wouldn’t wish it on myself again, that experience woke me up to how twisted the status quo really was. Not just those minutes with Billy, all of it. Being blamed for his actions, backlash from those who I thought loved me for no fault of my own, seeing how women are treated every day, it was an epiphany about how I shouldn’t conform to the world’s wrong thoughts. It shaped who I am and made me realize who I wanted to be.”

“I’m starting you should create a new career for emboldening speech,” Anne joked, but she was amazed at how much Josie, her former nemesis now turned kindred spirit, had grown.

“It would be better than dealing with geometry,” Diana added with a brilliant smile, dimples forming on her rosy cheeks. Josie laughed lightly.

“That it would,” Josie agreed, punctuating each word sharply. “Oh! I forgot to tell you! Did you know Alex and Gilbert ran into Mr. Phillips one week ago?”

“I know, Gilbert wrote me about that!” Anne bubbled through laughter as Diana looked stunned.

“Oh my, how?” she said in surprise, clasping a hand on her cheek briefly.

“Do you want to tell it or should I?” Josie asked Anne with a charming grin.

“You can start,” she obliged politely, motioning for the blonde to go on.

“Apparently, they were out buying ingredients for dinner. They were a bit farther out than the regular convenience store, something about Alex needing a special ingredient he could only get at this elaborate expensive shop and they saw him there! And take this in, he was with a girl, even younger than Prissy this time! She couldn’t have been older than fifteen or sixteen!” Josie sneered with a sour puckered face at the mention of the former teacher.

“I thought he’d learned his lesson,” Anne said disapprovingly.

“You can take it from here, Anne,” Josie grinned devilishly.

Anne launched into a story as always. “He spotted Gilbert with Alex and his eyebrows practically shot off his head!”

“If Gilbert of all people described it that way, his brows must’ve really been moving,” Diana muttered matter of factly. The three girls shared a small laugh over that.

“He asked Gilbert what he was doing in Toronto and apparently, he frowned like someone had just told him his mother passed away when Gil mentioned he was studying in medical school in the most prestigious school in the country! It really gets entertaining now. He told dear Gil that he didn’t think that he had it in him to finally make something of himself and Gilbert replied that he didn’t think Mr. Phillips had it in him to try and sully another poor girl’s reputation!”

Diana burst out into laughter. “Oh goodness!”

Anne continued, “Apparently, the old curmudgeon tried to bring Gilbert down a notch by saying that he was sure that Gil couldn’t get a girl if his life depended on it, to which Gil replied that…” She blushed and hesitated and Josie completed it with a teasing grin.

“That he in fact had the most beautiful girl of his dreams,” Josie completed with a grin. “What was that you were saying about not being engaged by next winter, Anne?”

“Oh, how romantical, Anne! Imagine if little thirteen year old you hearing that some Prince Charming called you that! You’d write a novel about it!” Diana squealed.

“Oh, thirteen year old Anne would deny that she could ever find that kind of bliss,” Anne replied dreamily, running a hand over her necklace and biting her bottom lip absentmindedly.

“Even though she deserved it,” Josie reminded gently, hugging the girl with one arm.

“Even though I deserve it,” she agreed surprisingly. She was surrounded by friends and family who loved her and made her feel… enough. Wholly and totally complete. They didn’t make her feel like she was below them and it meant the world to her.

For the first time, Anne actually meant it when she said that she deserved this.


	23. Enchanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie reminisces over her romance with Anne.

**_The playful conversation starts  
Counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy  
And it was enchanting to meet you_ **

Josie awoke at one in the morning to hear soft whimpers in the dark of the night. Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up in bed, squinting to see in the dark. She lit a candle and the room was illuminated. Out of the other two beds, Diana was sound asleep and Anne’s was unmade. She looked by the window to see Anne sitting on an arm chair near the window sill, looking out of the window.

She got up and stretched a little before walking over to the girl, lantern in hand.

“Anne dear,” she murmured softly, soft enough to not wake the other girls. “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine,” Anne replied, but her voice broke off and dissolved. “You,” she hiccuped. “Don’t need to bother yourself with me. Go back to bed.”

“My best friend is crying in the dead of night. There’s no way on Earth I’m leaving her to grapple with her emotions herself. Tell me what’s wrong,” she urged gently, lacing her hand through Anne’s and squeezing it while setting the lantern down on the ledge gently.

“There are just some days where…” she struggled for words, tears streaming down her golden freckled cheeks. “I miss him, Josie. Every day. I can never see him again. I can never hear his laugh or receive a warm hug or have him defend me from Marilla’s more brutal parenting.”

“Matthew?” Josie guessed gently, squeezing the girl’s arm comfortingly. Anne nodded miserably, wiping away salty tears with her right hand.

“Years ago today, I heard talk in the asylum that two siblings were looking for a strong little girl. Nothing was settled yet, it was just mindless gossip among the girls. Oh, how I imagined that I might be adopted, but I was convinced it wouldn’t happen because of my homely, knobby kneed, ginger self. So you can imagine my surprise when less than a month later, the Matron had come knocking to tell me that in a week, I’d be aboard the train to Bright River station,” Anne reminisced with a small laugh, sniffling as she remembered the light in those dark times.

“Oh Anne,” Josie whispered sympathetically, her own tears burning in her eyes for her friend. “You’re so joyful and sprightly all the time that I sometimes forget how utterly miserable your life used to be.”

Anne closed her eyes as the flashbacks rampaged through her head. She shuddered and she could feel herself slipping into one of those freeze-up moments she had, where she couldn’t move, breathe, or talk, she could only relive the pain of so many years.

Before that could happen, she said hoarsely, “Remind me of something good. Tell me about… that night when you and Alex decided to court after we played truth or dare.”

Josie smiled and felt warm all over at the mention of that night and the festivities.

“Alright,” she agreed, taking a deep breath and relaying the tale from her perspective.  
 __

_“My father and I will be expecting your letters,” she said with a coy smile._

_“Sounds good with me,” he replied with an equally swoon worthy grin._

_After a couple more rounds of truth or dare, they had taken to doing mixed things. Currently, Anne and Gilbert were in the middle of a high tension spelling round._

_“Vexatious,” Anne challenged, sitting on the floor with her legs crossed and braids undone in front of Gilbert. “Just like you, dear.”_

_“V-E-X-A-T-I-O-U-S,” he replied immediately, smirking when she glowered. “Transcendent, just like you, dear.” She blushed before regaining her composure._

_“T-R-A-N-S-C-E-N-D-E-N-T,” she replied smartly, smiling proudly. “Idiosyncrasy.”_

_“Are they always like this?” Alex murmured from his place beside Josie. They had been subtly near each other the whole time, revolving like magnets attracted to each other._

_“Always,” Josie snorted, rolling her eyes. “It’s mildly entertaining. Who knew academia could be a form of flirtation?”_

_“I’ll say,” he agreed, pretending not to notice how their shoulders were mere inches from brushing. “And how about you? What do you do to entertain yourself, Miss Pye?”_

_“Josie, if you please,” she corrected kindly. “And to answer your question, unlike our friends that love learning as such, I do not take pleasure in matters of mathematics and language. If anything, I should say that I enjoy dress making. My mother likes to get all our dresses tailor made and engages in needlepoint only to be so called “lady like”, but unlike her, I actually enjoy the activity. How about you, Alexander?”_

_“Please, everybody calls me Alex. In answer to your query, I suppose I enjoy medicine,” he answered honestly with a genuine smile._

_“I never would have guessed. Not like you’re pursuing a degree in it or anything,” she sassed, winking at him flirtatiously._

_He chuckled lightheartedly, his midnight blue eyes shining as he looked at the girl. In the firelight and moonlight, it seemed like her blonde hair was spun from pure gold. There was a comfortable silence between them as they watched their best friends face off._

_“Amicable,” Gilbert shot back to Anne after correctly spelling her earlier word._

_“A-M-I-C-A-B-L-E,” she replied smugly. She thought for a moment before challenging him to spell, “Ostentatious.”_

_“O-S-T-E-N-T-A...-T-I-O-U-S. Spell...lascivious,” he challenged with a crooked smile. Anne seemed to blush. The word definitely had some significance to them._

_“They love each other,” Josie observed quietly and introspectively, thinking about her past relationship failure and how that had caused many boys to reject her. Perhaps this one would be willing to overlook her faults, but who was she kidding? Somebody funny, handsome, and accepting would be almost too perfect. It was probably too good to be true._

_“They do,” he agreed with a nod. “Then again, the greatest of loves start with the most… amicable of crushes, don’t they?”_

_She laughed at his less than humorous joke, the sound music to his ears. “Bold, are we?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow up._

_“Worst case, you break my heart into a thousand pieces. What could go wrong?” he responded, brushing her hand gently. She felt sparks go up her arms in the most delightful ways. She had never felt this way. A single look from him could make her feel more than Billy’s kisses ever could._

_She wanted to tell him that he was wrong. The actual worst case was that he thought she was a harlot like most boys and never spoke to her again._

_“I don’t mind it. I’m certainly not thinking of breaking your heart right now,” she shrugged, chewing on her lip as she tried to think of a conversation topic. The situation would be quite the opposite._

_“Bold, are we?” he echoed back at her. She laughed softly, rolling her eyes and shoving him playfully._

_“Not as much as you,” she responded nonchalantly. “You’re English?”_

_“Correct, I like Canada much better,” he replied, eyes transfixed on her. “My parents still live there, but they’re getting ready to relocate to Ottawa with my younger sisters, Grace and Maudie and my younger brother, Theodore. My older sister, Rebekah, she lives in Carmody with her husband. She’s expecting her first child any day now.”_

_“Why the sudden move?” she asked with genuine curiosity._

_“They want Theo to go to U of T like me and they want to explore the Americas,” he explained._

_“Makes sense. What about your sisters?”_

_“Most likely, they’ll get married at eighteen unless they say otherwise. My parents are traditional, but they give freedom for us to choose our paths. Knowing Maudie and Grace, they’ll want to attend college. Rebekah did not. I think her dreams are too big for a school. She’s married, but she runs a monopoly on her town’s baking business,” he chuckled fondly, running a hand through his dark blonde, almost brown hair._

_“That’s… quite lovely, actually,” she said wistfully, wishing she had parents that were so kind and supportive._

_He shook his head again. “Don’t get me wrong, they’ll still throw a fuss about it. They wanted me to go to the Sorbonne so they had an excuse to move to France, but I didn’t like France that time we went there when I was fifteen, so I decided on Toronto instead. My mother wept and claimed I was making her blood pressure rise, but she let me make the final call.”_

_“Oh, the guilt trip. I know all about that,” Josie agreed with a roll of her sky blue eyes. She remembered how her Mother had wanted her married to Billy as soon as she was in long skirts. She had claimed that Josie was being ‘incredibly selfish’ by ‘bringing dishonor to the family name’ because of ‘her own poor decisions.’_

_“I love them though. They’re a little much sometimes, but they’re family at the end of the day. Little eight year old Grace is a tad too exuberant, but she puts a bit of life in the house. Maudie is bitter and ambitious, but she drives us to work the hardest. Theodore is spoiled rotten, but he’s also kind hearted. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade them in for the world.”_

_Josie avoided his(beautiful soulful) eyes. Sometimes(more often than not) she wished she could never see her parents again. They had hurt her with their reaction to her assault. “I wish I could say the same.”_

_“Did something go wrong between you and them, Josie?” he asked with concern, placing a muscular hand on her petite shoulder. She was surprised at the touch and was a bit disappointed when his hand returned to its place._

_She needed to tell him before her heart got broken when he inevitably left her. “I have something to tell you,” she confessed nervously, chewing on her bottom lip._

_“What is it?” he asked, his blue eyes boring into hers with passion._

_She took a deep breath and averted her eyes, worried she would break down right there. “Last year, I-”_

_“Josie! Anne’s about to do Beltane! Come on!” Ruby squealed, grabbing her hand and dragging the girl away. Josie looked confused, relieved, and disappointed in the same instant, but let herself get lost in laughter with her friends anyhow._

_Alex watched Josie giggle at Ruby’s antics and let loose with her friends, smiling all the while at the beautiful girl._

_After the girls had done the empowering ritual, every one of them was tired and hysterical, standing around the fire and laughing with each other._

_Diana, who was sitting up leaned against a rock, started to sing._

_“In the days to call, which we've left behind,_

_Our boyhood’s glorious game,_

_And our youthful vigour has declined,” she sang sweetly, the old chantey sparking in everyone’s memory. Everyone joined in, chorusing loudly and completely off tune, but it was happy and carefree. For the first time, even Gilbert got to be the eighteen year old he was supposed to be. He got to get drunk and laugh uncontrollably with his friends instead of having whiskey and cigars at a formal dinner with an older woman’s father._

_The real fun started when Anne stepped away from her place under Gilbert’s arm and grinned. “Care to dance, my Dashing White Sergeant?” she asked him. He smiled mischievously and twirled her suddenly._

_The girls giggled and soon enough, Ruby and Moody had joined them(though none of them were sober enough to really be graceful)._

_Josie smiled warmly at the loving couples and yearned for something of her own._

_“Josie?” somebody asked from behind her. She turned to see Alex, standing at his over six foot tall height, but somehow humble before her._

_“Alex,” she greeted warmly._

_“Would you… maybe… fancy a dance?” he asked her hopefully. She was about to refuse, tell him the whole story about her history, about how her body was apparently not good enough for anybody else because of the cruelty of one brute, but she saw the pleading look in his beautiful shining eyes and decided one night of fun couldn’t hurt. At least if he broke her heart, he’d do it over letter._

_“I’d… love to,” she granted. He outstretched his large hand and she placed her small left palm in his. The size difference was immense, her thin hand fitting like a puzzle piece in his muscular one. She was almost a whole foot smaller than him, standing at five feet four inches and him at almost six feet two inches. It was like she was made to be held tightly by none other than Alex._

_He pulled her in, resting an arm safely around her upper waist(but not too high) and lacing their hands together. They floated from side to side as their friends tittered and squealed, but it seemed that they were the only people on Earth to the other._

_They could feel electricity running where they touched, a bubbling need that arose from the most carnal of desires, but something else too. Something deeper than physical attraction._

_She loved to watch his perfectly coiffed dark blonde hair flutter gently in the autumn wind and she loved to watch his muscles flex when he’d squeeze her hands gently or adjust his position on her waist so that he wasn’t improper._

_He loved to watch her tightly pinned toffee waves start to come undone, light hair unfurling slowly to reveal radiant hair that framed her perfect smiling face. He loved to watch the skirt of her lavender dress swish behind her elegantly and he loved to watch her rosy blush when her friends would whistle suggestively._

_He whispered, “You’re beautiful,” to her, low enough so that only she heard and went even redder._

_“Stop that,” she chastised lightly, shaking her head._

_“It’s true,” he shrugged, spinning her slowly and catching her in his arms when her lack of sobriety inevitably caused her to trip. She was tipped over slightly, prevented from falling by his strong arms “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, Josie Pye.”_

_“The same could be said about you, Alexander Whitmore,” she whispered back shyly as he let her back up and they waltzed slowly side to side. His face broke out into a brilliant grin extending all the way to his sapphire eyes, and she was sure the cool fall breeze rose in temperature._

_“If it is agreeable with you, would you write to me while we’re apart?” he requested politely, his voice smooth and unentitled. It was made clear that he was not pressuring her into anything and it made a flame ignite in her._

_“It would be more than agreeable with me,” she agreed, the breath catching in her throat under his loving gaze._

_“Brilliant,” he responded and anyone could see that his eyes were locked firmly on her classically beautiful face._

_She went pink and he chuckled and brushed his hand across her rose flushed cheek, red from either the alcohol or his shower of praise. Neither one of them had noticed that their large group had gotten smaller, with Ruby excusing herself for the night and Moody walking her home. No one was singing anymore, but they continued to sway in each other’s arms, looking at each other as if they were the world._

_It was dozens of minutes later when they settled down. They had simply taken to standing beside each other with hands laced together comfortingly, conversing. It wasn’t some tragical dramatic romance like Anne and Gilbert’s, no fanfare or years of ill fated miscommunication, but Josie liked this even better. It was comforting and had all the sparks of the tentative young love she deserved._

_An hour later, Gilbert approached them apologetically._

_“Alex, I’m going to see Anne home. Its late and she’s in a… less than composed state right about now,” He looked over lovingly where she and Diana were giggling childishly and drawing things in the sand. “I’m assuming you don’t know your way home, so I’m afraid I’ll have to take you away.”_

_“I’m right behind you, Gil,” he said with a smile. “Let me say my goodbyes before I leave tomorrow.”_

_Gilbert saw the meaningful and sorrowful glance between the two blondes and nodded understandingly._

_Once he had left, Alexander turned to Josie with an apologetic smile._

_“It seems I must bid you adieu, lovely Josie,” he sighed sadly, cupping her fair cheek and tucking a golden tendril behind her ear. “Write to me.”_

_“Goodbye, Alex,” she bade, a small sad smile on her face. It was likely the next time she saw him, he’d be repulsed by her. “A letter as soon as I can.”_

_As if hesitating, he paused a moment before leaning down and brushing his lips on her cheek for a brief and fleeting moment. Josie thought she might pass out right there with the wonderful tingle it sent all around her body._

_He disconnected their hands almost painfully and waved to her. She lifted her hand and fluttered her fingers, feeling full inside for the first time in months. An ever present flush stayed in her cheeks all night.  
_

“That’s… so romantic.” Anne smiled a tearful and watery smile.

“I thought he’d be disgusted when he found out what happened with Billy, but he… didn’t care. In fact, he makes me feel as if I am stronger because of it, as if Billy is the scum of the Earth and that I am the only woman he sees,” she gushed dreamily.

“You and Alex are opposites of Gilbert and I. Your story sparks from a quick and rushing fall for each other, yet ours builds intensity over years. We’re stronger now than ever,” Anne replied, imagining tangling her fingers through curls of chestnut.

“We only continue to fall more,” Josie said to Anne, looking out at the stars as if she and Alex might be thinking the same thoughts.

Anne smiled, spirits just a little uplifted and squeezed Josie’s hand.

“I think we’ve both found our person.”


	24. Adore You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters from Avonlea's favorite couple...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can catch the Pride and Prejudice reference in Anne's letter, you are my new best friend.

_Just let me adore you  
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do_

_I'd walk through fire for you  
Just let me adore you_

Dearest Gilbert,

Oh dear, how shall I even begin to describe this week, my love? It all started with your letter and though I(most humbly, may I teasingly add) forgave your unnecessary apology, I am a little ashamed to tell you that it sent me down a small spiral of self doubt. It worries me sometimes, to be completely honest. For the better part of my existence, I was cursed and spat at and told I was no better than a snivelling rat on the street, so when I look at ladies like Miss Stuart, known to be the epitome of beauty and grace, my mind automatically goes to that place of doubt.

I’m getting better at that, I swear on it. I find myself growing in confidence by the day. I suppose a support system of loving friends(and more than friends) does that to you. I sometimes still go back to that darker place, but I can go to my happy place eons quicker.

On that note, you will be pleased to know that I didn’t let some insufferable cad ruin my day. Ugh, Royal Gardner. Even the name makes me want to gag now. The fool had the guts to insult Austen, ask for my presence at tea, scorn you, then offend me! Men like that make me absolutely furious at the world, if you don’t mind me saying. Every day I thank God I have stupendous people like you and Cole in my life to balance out these scoundrels.

The next big event was me not being able to sleep the next night because I just couldn’t stop thinking about Matthew. I thought I was over it, but I should’ve known a month was suspiciously short. I had a brief two week grieving period after he died, but somewhere in the middle of that, life got in the way of my moping and it escaped from my mind.

I got some sufficient time to sit with my thoughts and the time of year combined with reminiscing made fresh tears flow. So you can imagine lovely Josie’s reaction when she saw me weeping by the window at an ungodly hour of morning! The sweet girl probably thought I was some apparition come to haunt her!

Anyways…

Josie found me blubbering positively unbecomingly and comforted me with her romantical love story and it calmed me down. The sentence looks so strange to me. Even a couple months ago, Josie would have been a mean old cow in my book and she certainly would not be the one telling me romantical tales.

That being said, I do not in any way regret all that’s been healed between me and her. She’s proved to be a wonderful person and an even more astoundingly stead fast friend. I never thought I’d be saying this, but… Josie Pye may be a kindred spirit. I find myself drawn to her witty friendliness more often than not. She and Diana might be the closest friends I will ever have in a trillion lifetimes, and you might be the most handsome, most patient, kindest love I’ll ever have in all my lifetimes.

Alright, I’m sure you’re bored of hearing my appreciative rants about my closest friends. I wrote to inform you of something I’m just elated for! I just received a letter from dearest Aunt Josephine informing me that she’s picked a date for the summer soiree she holds every year. It will be held on February the 3rd. I know it is your school time, but it’s a Saturday and I’d be thrilled if you could be there. It is ever so important to me and you don’t have to get me anything for Christmas if it comes to it. You attending the party with me would be miles beyond enough.

Asides from my pleading requests, how are you, love of my life? I hope they’re feeding you well enough in Toronto. You really do need to learn how to cook, darling. Oatmeal and meat sandwiches cannot last you years. When I see you over the holidays, the first thing we will be doing together is cooking classes. Or maybe right after I kiss you.

Say hello to Alexander for me. I love you. Most ardently.

With all I am,

Your Anne

My dear faerie queen,

Your life sounds positively tumultuous compared to mine. My schedule is nothing more than eat, study, classes, eat, study, classes, eat, study, sleep. Not very entertaining in the slightest. Sometimes Alex will convince me to step out of the flat and roam a bit, but I’m trying to keep my grades up as best I can. Even in different schools, I do have to defeat you, don’t I, love?

I’m so glad you told that absolute roguish boy off. He deserved it and I have half a mind to introduce my fist to the mouth he uses to cheat girls. For all your praise, I haven’t done a single thing worth praising except being a decent human being. If I am your standard, the bar must be set low for women. I cannot imagine the perfect partner being only kind, especially when men are allowed to demand seven different skill areas from women without a second thought.

I just cannot help but worry for you. I just don’t want him to try anything like what happened with Josie. Please, darling, please be careful. Don’t go with him anywhere unless it is completely consensual, in which case, I expect I’ll be heartbroken because of it. Be cautious and don’t let him get you alone.

As for your predicament with the dear late Matthew, I was wondering about that. You see, I took a year abroad to grapple with my feelings. Maybe that is why it took so long. Perhaps if I’d surrounded myself with the company of those I loved, it would’ve helped me. I do not regret it, nevertheless. I met a brother and “kindred spirit” as you’d say, there, and I’m sure if I hadn’t gone, you would’ve gone on hating me. Plus, I got a foundation for the abs I have now, didn’t I? I’m sure you and Royal would’ve gone riding off into the sunset already if it weren’t for my devilishly handsome looks.

I’m joking, in case you didn’t get that, which I’m sure you did. I regret writing the previous sentence. Why on Earth do you and only you possess the power to render me a bumbling fool, my Anne with an E?

On another note, I’m glad you’ve found comfort in the love of friendship. I always wondered why people didn’t fall in love with you the moment they laid eyes on your shining eyes and pink lips and oh so luscious red hair because I sure did. It looks like I was right; They did end up loving you in end, just as I did at the very beginning.

As for boring me, don’t be mistaken. I could read pages upon pages of you talking about paint dry and I’d still be thoroughly invested in whatever you have to say. You own ever facet of my love afflicted heart.

I knew dear Ms. Barry’s invite would roll around some time this season. I’ve never seen you get so excited for such an event, so I suppose that maybe I could work around the work load and try to meet you in Charlottetown for a night. I’ll have to leave very late on Friday night and leave very early on Sunday morning, so I’m afraid I might not have as much time as I desire with you. Seeing you so joyful can rid me of any and all deprivations of sleep or otherwise, so that shouldn’t be a concern.

I can imagine it now(though mine is a bit faded compared to your fanciful dreamings). You would descend the stairs looking like my own personal reincarnation of Aphrodite. Every man’s(and some women) heads would turn toward you, some miles beyond me in countenance and wealth, yet I’d (hopefully) be able to take you on my undeserving arm and fill every slot on your dance card for the night. Maybe Royal would be invited and I’d get to rub it in his face just a little. It’s quite immature, but I feel we both have a right to be a bit childish in his presence.

Say, love, this is just a suggestion, but I think you’d look just radiant in emerald. I have a suit that would match it perfectly.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m still getting you something for Christmas, faerie queen.

And yes, love, I am eating well. Alex cooks most of the time or if we treat ourselves, we’ll order some tidbit from the deli. I think I’d love to learn cooking from you. When we’re married, I fully intend on doing my fair share of the work. If a man can eat from a plate, he should bloody well know how to prepare and clean that plate. I’ll teach every single one of our kids to respect that fact too.

I love you too, Anne-girl. Words can’t describe how much I wish you were with me. I hope your classes are going quite well. I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you’ll blow them all away with your brilliant smarts.

Forever and always,

Your Gilbert


	25. The Story of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter or two, best friend bonding time, and an unfortunate event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY it took me such an age to update. Stuff has been hectic, but Labor Day gave me a chance to sit down and write my heart out.

**_Oh, a simple complication  
Miscommunications lead to fall out_ ** __

_My lovely Gil,_

_With every passing day, my heart grows more lonesome. How ever shall I go on? Today is November 24th. I cannot see you until December 22nd. Still, 28 days-2 or 3 letters more- remain till I can be wrapped up in your arms for two brief weeks before we part again._

_Needless to say, I miss you terribly, my love._

_I noticed something in your last letter. We've been skirting around the topic for ages now and though this situation isn't ideal, I think it's time for us to have a conversation about what's next._

_You said 'when we're married'. After having a conversation with Ruby, Tillie, and Josie(you see, they are the only ones as of present with suitors), I have come to the conclusion that we can't make such offhand remarks about the subject unless we really and truly mean it. Do you really and truly mean it, my Gilbert?_

_If I am to be completely honest, I really hope you do mean it. Not any time soon, of course, but I want to solidify that one day, you will ask me that fateful question._

_When I say that one day I want to make you mine forever and always, have several children, and grow old side by side, I mean it._

_I'm baring my heart out to you, Gilbert. It would mean the world if you wouldn't break it._

_Of course I will be careful around that wretched Roy. You should've seen what he did yesterday. He intercepted me in the halls between English and Geometry and presented me with a bouquet of violets and said he was 'very sorry' for his 'only half true' words. I threw the bouquet right back at him and marched out of the place. You could be the most emaciated boy in the world and I wouldn't want to be with Royal. I pity the person who does._

_You think you're a bumbling fool? Don't you remember anything from the past three years? The 'eyes' incident? The 'reproduction' question? Goodness, even our first meeting! You spent half an hour chasing me to the schoolhouse. You made me absolutely insane even then with your apple nonsense, maybe for a different reason than now, and you still loved me from the beginning. I still ask myself how that was so to this day._

_I'm positively enthralled that you'll try and make it to Aunt Jo's soiree! It is my favorite part of year and I can't wait to dance with you and only you(though I might have one for Di) all through the night and if we are unnoticed enough, perhaps be lulled asleep by your embrace. Funnily enough, Ruby was just telling me the other day that I would be 'an absolute vision in olive.' Perhaps I will try on a darker shade of green. It may be time for a night of shopping!_

_I'll keep this on the shorter side to allow you to properly respond to the heavier sentiments above._

_Plus que ma propre vie(Diana said that's 'more than my own life' in French, did you know that? That's how much I love you.),_

_Anne_

____________________

Finally, after five days worth of catching up on work and intense projects before the holidays, Gilbert had gotten time to write back to Anne. He had never waited so long before, but they were in the heat of the work and he couldn't spare a moment. He'd wake at the crack of dawn and study, go to classes until four, study and do his homework, and fall asleep right as his head hit the pillow after eating, unable to keep his eyes open for even a moment.

So when he got a well earned reprieve from human anatomy, he gladly took it. He took out the pen he had reserved specially for her and started to write My dearest Anne-girl at the top before he was interrupted.

"Gilbert!" Alex burst in through the front door with a grin, pulling along a snooty looking Zachary.

"What is it?" he asked casually, dipping the nib pen in pitch black ink.

"It's Saturday and everyone's going out for a drink, come along?" Zachary asked with a sugary sweet(but fake) smile.

"Sorry, I have to write back to-"

"Anne, yes, we all know. But please, just to keep us company for a bit?" he persuaded enticingly. "We're going to that place that you like."

"I don't have time until next week if I don't write now," he persisted, looking at the paper with a sigh.

"Oh, come on. I've written two letters to Josie this week already. You'll have time! Just come out for an hour, Gil. Live a little!" Alex encouraged, using his height and muscular build to try and pull the chair backwards, only barely succeeding. Gilbert may have been four inches shorter, but his strength was nothing to scoff at. A year on a ship shoveling coal did that to you.

"I... fine," he suspired defeatedly, knowing his friend wasn't one to give up. "For an hour."

One hour later...

"Alright, I'm going to go after I finish this one," Gilbert said to Alex, clapping him upon the back and gesturing to his first drink that he had been nursing for the entire night. Alex had just finished his second and had moved on to hard liquor against his roommate's better judgement.

"Sure, sure," he slurred casually.

"So, Alex, I heard you got a girl for yourself, huh? About damn time!" Rupert, one of the sophomores, boomed raucously. Alexander all but blushed as Gil shook his head playfully as the rest of the boys laughed.

"Well, is he right or is he right?" one of the men, James, asked him expectantly.

"He's blushing like a bride, shouldn't that give you your answer?" Gilbert teased, nudging Alexander softly and playfully.

"Not you being a cad too," he groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Just payback, Alex," he shrugged with a glint in his eyes.

"So, who is she?" Rupert quizzed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Her name is Josie and she's the most perfect person I've ever met," Alex proclaimed, a little buzzed from the alcohol.

"No, that would be Anne," Gilbert interjected coldly, glaring at him in jest. Alex stared right back, raising an eyebrow. In his eyes, Josie was the only woman who existed.

"Josie... Pye?" Zachary asked incredulously, his eyebrow furrowing. Alexander frowned in confusion and wariness. How did Zach know his sweetheart, and more importantly, what had he heard about her?

"Yes," he confirmed stiffly.

"Hate to admit it to you, brother, but your lady is questionable," Zachary shrugged, shaking his head with a solemn frown and words that ran together in a drunken haze. "She went running about with this guy who got seduced by her. If you ask me, she's nothing but trouble."

Alexander's usually genial midnight blue eyes grew hard and steely. "And what exactly makes you think I don't know about her... past?"

"So you know about her and you're still courting her? What do your parents think?" Zachary snorted, laughing softly and humorlessly. "You're courting a floozy, man. She threw herself at a perfectly good boy. She sullied her own reputation and brought it on herself by sneaking out. When you put attractive women in the same room with a respectable and honest guy, it's only natural instinct for him to want her! She deserves everything she got."

"Watch yourself, Carlyle," Alex growled angrily, fists balling up at his sides.

"Alex, you're drunk. Let's go," Gilbert urged, sensing the tension in the room. He didn't agree with a word of what Zach was saying, but he didn't want to do something he'd regret. There wasn't acknowledgement of his words from either party.

"Or what? I bet if she met me, she'd throw herself at me too because she's a harlot! Hell, her side job might be as an escort!" Zachary, their former roommate, simpered cruelly, not realizing how far over the line he had crossed.

That did it for Alex. In one sharp blow, the glass in his hand cracked under his tight grip. Dropping it, the cup shattered and he raised his fist to Zachary's face, striking the side of his face with force.

The other man lunged at Alex in a brave effort to try and over power the firm and muscular bear of a man and soon, they were a struggling heap on the floor, Alex bashing the man's face in with bloody knuckles.

"Don't even talk about the girl I love like that again!" he bellowed, punctuating each word with a strike. "You hear me? Never again! Do not disrespect her that way!"

He got off bloody faced Zachary with a fearsome scowl as onlookers separated the two former friends.

"You hear me, Zachary? Burn in hell! Josie deserves nothing but adoration and respect! All of you! If you want to call someone a harlot, go do it to William Andrews!" Alex spat as Gilbert all but dragged him out of the tavern as he seethed in anger at the impudent boy he had left beaten up.

Once they were out of earshot, Gilbert said to the older boy, unusually calmly and collectedly, "Are you out of your mind, Alexander Whitmore?"

"Not completely. Why do you ask?" he responded without missing a beat. Gilbert sighed disapprovingly, very reminiscent of a protective older brother, despite being only a couple months older than his friend.

"That display back there, did you really have to resort to bashing his face in?"

"Yes, it was necessary," he argued, wincing when a piece of glass from the broken cup lodged deeper in his skin.

"Wait until we get home and you can put some alcohol on the wounds and bandage them," Gilbert instructed, gesturing to the glass in his wounds and bruises peppering his skin. "And how was that necessary? I think Zachary could've been put in his place with a couple sharp words. Violence isn't the answer."

"Like you haven't gotten your knuckles bloody for Anne even before you were courting," he snorted, rolling his eyes defensively.

Gilbert flushed and denied, "That's different."

He simply raised an eyebrow with mild ire and disbelief.

"Okay, maybe it isn't so different, but the point still stands. Zachary could press charges," he insisted, frowning deeply in concern.

"Let him, I have more than enough to hire a good attorney. I have no regrets."

"But would Josie approve of it?"

Alex didn't look the slightest bit bashful. "To be honest, she'd hit me upside the head and call me a fool, but I know her. Deep down, she'd be disheartened about his comments. She claims it doesn't hurt her, but her tone in her letters completely changes. I put him in his place and made sure that no one ever dares to disrespect her again."

His gaze was intense and he smiled slightly in the general direction of the floor when he thought of Josie's perfect little mouth curving downwards in concern and shaking her head disapprovingly like she had done to Tillie's dramatic antics when he had first met her.

'You're a perfect idiot, Alexander Whitmore,' her first words to him after weeks had been. __

_'But I'm your perfect idiot, am I not?'_

_'I suppose I am stuck with you now, aren't I?'_

_'Is that such a horrible thing, darling?'_

_'Not in the very slightest.'_

He recalled the exchange over the telephone call. Calls were a rare commodity reserved for the elite top one percent, booked weeks in advance at the rare centers, so she had demanded to somehow pay him back for the luxury that only the Andrews and Barrys had ever afforded in her life. He had simply chuckled when he read her indignant and furious-and somehow caring all the same-letter and replied to her, you could take all my riches and I wouldn't care for you any less.

"Well, you certainly accomplished that," Gilbert sighed defeatedly, clapping his hand on Alex's shoulder gently, then retracting it sharply when Alex recoiled from the stinging wound.

There was silence, then Alex asked, "Gilbert, do you suppose I could stay with you during Christmas? I'm sorry to impose, but Rebekah and her family are out of station and just the trip overseas would take a week. I can stay back, but I'd rather like to see Josie and the others again."

"Oh please, Alex, there's a snowball's chance in hell you're staying alone during Christmas. Of course you can come to Avonlea."

It was the late night by the time Gilbert and Alex had fully dressed their wounds, cleaned up, and sobered up.

And so, Gilbert's pen sat on his desk in loneliness, forgotten once more.

_____________________

Anne returned from the post office with a dejected stare yet again, sitting down on her bed with a despondent stare.

"No letter?" Diana asked with wide eyes, sitting beside her with more elegance than Anne's careless plop. Usually, Gilbert's letters arrived a prompt two weeks after hers(to allow hers to get there and his to reach her), but it had been three and there was no response.

"No," she sighed, her blue eyes glazing over as she peered out the window reflectively. "It's my fault. I... I brought the longer conversation about the future on too early and I scared him away, I-"

"Anne, don't ever apologize for knowing what you want!" Diana chastised sharply, her dark brows furrowing in firm resolve.

"Excuse me?" answered Anne, her brow raising in uncertainty.

"If Gilbert hasn't replied to your very sensible, straight forward, and polite letter, that is a fault on his part! Do not blame yourself for being unapologetically you! The first time I met you, I wanted to pursue friendship with you because I saw that you didn't care for others' opinions and once you knew what you wanted, you went out and acquired it. Don't stop doing that now! If he doesn't care enough to reply in the next days, I encourage you to set him straight and let him know what's what. I apologize if I overstepped, but I love you, Anne, and I hate seeing you in such distress, so I had to say it."

Anne was filled with a warm and sweet feeling, like syrup under the hot sun. "Thank you, truly. This is why you're my best friend."

"Bosom friends never let the other wallow in anguish by themselves," she giggled, slinging an arm around Anne's shoulder. Anne hugged her in kind, letting the joy of friendship chip away at her sorrow.

After all, courtships were splendid, but best friends stay until the end of time.

_______-

_My most darling Anne-girl,_

_I apologize profusely for my lack of response to you these past weeks. I have been up to my ears in textbooks and essays and have had absolutely no time at all. On top of that, I have developed a terrible cold. It's nothing to worry about, just a cough and stomach pains thus far. I suspect it is nothing more than a bug._

_Twenty four hours is really far too short for a day. That being said, I know it was no excuse for me to so callously ignore your sentiments, letters of which I am completely undeserving._

_I will have to keep this on the shorter side. I have five chapters to read and write a page about by the day after next and it is already 4:00. I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to worry about me. If my response is late, feel free to assume I am very busy, though I swear I won't let it happen again._

_I love you more than you could ever possibly know._

_Apologies and loving kisses,_

_Gilbert_

____________

"Jasper, would you mind takin' the letters that need to go out of town out to the station today?" a woman at the block's post office asked casually, batting her lashes at her co-worker.

"S-sure, Myra," he stammered at the young lady. She was a twenty two year old university student, with a buxom figure and white blonde curls, working at the post to make a little money and he was a twenty year old man, lean with hair like dust, working to pay for university in the future. "Anything for you."

He took the satchel of letters and hurried out, dropping the bag in his haste to show his strength to the older woman. The letters spewed out in every direction, skidding across the hardwood floor.

"Oh dear, Jazz," she tsked, stepping out from behind the desk to help him clean them. Together, they gathered the envelopes and tucked them into the bag neatly.

"Thank you, Myra," he said gratefully, face flushing sweetly. She giggled with a wink, not hesitating a moment before pressing a kiss to his lightly tanned cheek and standing up to go back to her clerk job again.

In a daze, he picked up the bag more slowly and set off towards the station. No one noticed that the envelope lodged far behind the desk addressed to Miss Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was left undelivered.


	26. this is me trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne writes a heartbreaking letter and receives some good news.

**_It's hard to be anywhere these days  
When all I want is you_ **

**_TO GILBERT JOHN BLYTHE,_ **

**_UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO, CANADA_ **

**_FROM ANNE SHIRLEY CUTHBERT_ **

**_QUEENS COLLEGE,_ **

**_CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI_ **

**_ARE YOU OKAY?_ **

Gilbert had just received the news that a telegram had come in for him.

He fumbled around in his pocket to respond to her, but found no money in it. Alexander was visiting his sister while she was in town and the bank was on the other side of town. Deciding that the letter probably hadn’t reached yet and that she’d probably receive it by tomorrow and her fears would be allayed, he exited the place.

_Dearest Gilbert,_

_I know naught about why you haven’t responded to my previous letter or the telegram. There is a tad more than a week until we are to be reunited, so you might not read this until you are back in Toronto. Nevertheless, I will write because it is what I do best._

_I think I’ve vexed you with talk of future, though I have no inclination as to why. After mere weeks of courting Winifred, your impending nuptials were the talk of the town, yet after almost four months, you completely disappear after I mention it! Don’t take me the wrong way, I am in no way ready for any sort of wedding bell just yet, but the least you could do is a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when I ask you whether you even plan on having a future with me. It would be awfully disappointing if I was a throwaway girl for you, Mister Blythe._

_I admit, the thought has crossed my head that in these long weeks that you might have found another, but the thought was shaken out just as quickly by the girls. You’re lucky I have them to keep me sane or I might have driven myself off a bridge with madness by now._

_I’m trying to make this long distance thing work, my love. I really am. I write to you even in the late nights, just to talk to you. I know you’re considerably more busy than me, but couldn’t you send even a slip of paper? A short telegram letting me know that no horrible fate has befallen you? Josie faithfully receives letters from Alexander and I wonder if it is me._

_I know that you’re a hard worker and you may not have time for my nagging, but I can’t help but wonder if you’re drifting away from me on purpose, Gilbert. I don’t want to leave you. I love you more than anyone, but I’m starting to think that after all this, you’re leaving me and I’m holding on as tight as I can futilely._

_If you were to leave me, truthfully, I couldn’t see a future without you. I remember the feeling when I heard about Winifred. It was hard to be anywhere when I saw you laughing with her. It felt like an open wound from the inside out. I think that now that I know what it’s like to hold you and kiss you and have you be all mine, it would feel like a thousand knives plunging into my skin._

_I know I’m not a perfect debutante with a rich background. I know that I freeze up in panic when I think of my past. I know my intelligence insults the egos of many men. I know I lash out and that my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. But I love you and I will continue making this beautiful, exhilarating, passionate, loving relationship work._

_I will end this here. I will see you on the twenty third. Whether it is to kiss you or say goodbye, I guess I’ll have to find out._

_With my whole heart,_

_Anne_

________________________

Anne had just gotten home on 22nd of December, running to Marilla with open arms and a bright grin, despite everything. Sorrow weighed her down, but she compartmentalized. She vowed to not open that drawer until it was completely full. Another drawer of woe was opened when she realized that it would be their first Christmas without Matthew.

“Marilla,” she sighed in her mother’s arms happily. She didn’t care that she wasn’t the same little girl she had once been, motherly embraces would never get old. Some claimed it to be embarrassing or humiliating, but Anne knew first hand that once it was gone, you would give your life to have it once more. She would give her life to hear Matthew’s gruff and kindly laugh just one more time.

Marilla pulled away and held her at an arm’s length, giving Anne’s body the once over with her sky blue eyes.

“My word! You’ve grown even thinner! Is that old Blackmore woman even feeding you?” she exclaimed with a disapproving tut-tut. Anne didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was her own decision to poke around her dinner instead of eating it the past couple of weeks.

“Yes, Marilla,’ she laughed, trying to summon a fragment of happiness. “I’ve just been… hard at work.”

“That won’t do. I’ll have Jerry come in from the barn and we’ll go to the Lacroixs’ together for lunch. We have some news for the both of you.” A jolt of comfort went through Anne at the thought. If anything, maybe some comfort food could help her stress eat her way out of this predicament.

“Sounds wonderful.”

They rode the eight miles back to Bright River, Anne filling Marilla in about all the going ons.

“I hear Ruby and the Spurgeon boy are particularly close. I heard Mrs. Gillis talking about some additions to Ruby’s trousseau as she’s positively sure that by the time the year closes out, she’ll be sewing a wedding dress instead.”

“Oh, Ruby isn’t sure about that. She said that she’d like to, and Moody would like to, but you know how the two are. They need a little nudge.”

“And what about you?” Marilla asked abruptly, noticing Anne stiffening. “It has been almost four months, and though I don’t expect anything less than at least eighteen for marriage, you two must have at least broached the topic.”

“Perhaps we did,” she said curtly. “Either ways, it isn’t going to happen any time soon.’’

“Oh...Um, speaking of, Delphine’s been asking for you,” Marilla said with a smile, knowing the girl didn’t want to approach the topic of Gilbert for some reason. She hoped they weren’t having any troubles, but all couples did at some point. It was bound to happen. Any relationship going smoothly with no rough patches or inconsequential squabbles in the middle was almost impossible, but real love would get out of it stronger than before.

Anne melted at that, a small smile cracking her exterior. “How is my little Dellie?”

“She’s learning quickly for a nine month old baby. She can stand independently, but falls quite adorably when she tries to walk. She understands a couple words, but one she is repeating quite frequently these days is… ‘Aannie Aanh’ ? and ‘Unca Guhbuh’?.’”

“What?”

“Auntie Anne, I suppose,” Marilla filled in as Anne’s eyes flashed with understanding.

When she got to Green Gables, she sighed, breathing in the familiar air. Her blue eyes lightened with excitement when she saw a certain dark haired Acadian come in from the barn. She grinned from ear to ear and waved at him.

“Jerry!” she squealed excitedly, hitching up her skirts in her hands and running as fast as she could.

“Look what le chat dragged in,” Jerry teased, smiling playfully. “Is it just me or have you gotten even knobbier?”

“Excuse me for trying to be nice to you. Obviously, Jerry Baynard doesn’t take kindly to that,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“Welcome home, Anne,” he finally greeted with a happy little smile. “If you repeat it, I will deny it, but I missed you.Only a little bit.”

Her pearl blue eyes lit up she played cool, responding to him with a proud “Good. Because I will be here bugging you for the next two weeks.”


	27. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news for Anne, bad for Gil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's happy until the end. Sorry, guys. On another note, the song that goes with this chapter isn't... accurate, but it reflects Anne's feelings right about now.

**_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me  
But we are never ever, ever, ever getting back together_ **

Marilla, Anne, and Jerry burst into the Lacroix home with bright smiles. Anne couldn’t wait to see the familiar faces. Gilbert wouldn’t arrive in town until tomorrow and Josie was as giddy as a schoolgirl because her beau would be accompanying him for the holidays.

The two groups were practically family now, so the two Cuthberts(and one unofficial Cuthbert) didn’t even knock. Anne burst through the door and flashed a smile like a ray of sunshine. She could enjoy her time with the Lacroixs before Gilbert inevitably left her. Why else wouldn’t he reply after a month?

“Queen Anne!” Sebastian exclaimed jovially, standing up just in time for her to barrel into him for a hug, light yellow skirts swishing behind her. She pulled away excitedly and looked around.

“If you’re wondering about Delphine, she’s in the nursery,” Bash chuckled, nodding his head in the direction of the yellow painted room.

Anne looked at Marilla pleadingly and Marilla rolled her eyes. “Go bring her out, I’ll help get lunch ready.”

Anne squealed quietly and walked quickly inside the nursery, beaming at the angelic little girl swatting at a hanging crib toy.

“Dellie,” she cooed sweetly, leaning over the crib. She giggled as the black curled baby reached for her, babbling innocently.

Anne reached down and scooped Delphine up in her arms, swaddling her in a soft down blanket. Rocking her gently, she walked back out to the kitchen area.

“You’re so good with her,” Bash commented as she came back out. Marilla was setting down a batch of fresh cheese tartlets, heaped on a huge plate. Jerry snagged some from the plate immediately, one in each hand. He was certainly a hungry boy!

“Maybe with obedient babies. Anne has never had to deal with the likes of Sandie,”Jerry grumbled from the other side of the table. He reached for a third tart and Marilla lightly swatted his hand with a wooden spoon.

“Save some for the rest of us,” she remarked sarcastically at Jerry, who darkened as he slowly drew his hand away.

“I figured I should spend as much time as I can until I go away for school again. There’s only so many weeks I can enjoy her youth,” Anne sighed dismally. Delphine seemed to grow in leaps and bounds. She was taller for her age, with long fingers and toes that touched everything her eyes landed on with curiosity.

“She looks more like Mary every day,” Marilla replied, sighing in memory of the vivacious young woman. She was stirring a gargantuan pot of potato and oyster soup.

“She would have been overjoyed to see you and Delphine getting along so well. She and Elijah have been getting closer also. He and my mother are in town picking up groceries. She insists on making a big affair out of Gilbert’s return, lots of Trinidadian delicacies and the like,” Bash agreed, stirring some deep orange crab curry that smelled heavenly above the wood stove.

Marilla and Sebastian exchanged a look and the matriarch smiled in encouragement.

Anne noticed the exchange and her brows furrowed. “What is it?”

“We know this is long overdue,” Bash started nervously. “And Marilla thinks it’s a right good idea, but we wanted to get your approval.”

“Yes, of course. Go on,” she encourage with a sweet dimpled smile.

“When Delphine was born, Mary and I didn’t think to give her a godparent. We thought that we’d be around and if we weren’t, Gilbert would be going to Queens and would be an hour away from the town she’s grown up with. Clearly, your beau is much further away than an hour,” he joked, making light of the situation.

Anne tensed quickly at the mention of Gilbert, but hid it with a stiff smile and a deep breath. “Indeed, my… beau is much further away…? Your point is, Sebastian?”

“If, God forbid, something happens to me in the next couple of years, a freak accident or something of the sort, we want Delphine to have a legal guardian close to home. Gilbert is there, but he is far away and the people of Avonlea- or half of them at least- have gotten used to colored folk using their facilities. I don’t know how people abroad will take it. They might disrespect him for even associating with us and I don’t want that. You, on the other hand, are a mere hour away from Avonlea and have good friends in Charlottetown who accept Dellie. We would’ve asked you before she was born…”

“Asked me what?” she questioned, though the growing light in her blue eyes made it clear she knew what they were talking about.

“This is up to you, but I would be honored if you would be Delphine’s godmother, Anne. Not just godmother, but aunt. I consider you a sister already.”

Despite knowing what was coming, Anne was stunned into a deafening silence, a smile forming at the edges of her mouth.

“Uh, Anne?” Jerry asked awkwardly, waving his hands to alert her.

Finally, Anne grinned from ear to ear, her blue eyes crinkling at the edges with true joy. “You don’t even have to ask! Of course I’ll be Dellie’s godmother!”

“Thank you so much, Queen Anne. Dellie is in good hands.”

“On to another matter,” Marilla interrupted with a pointed look. “As you know, Matthew’s will reading was two weeks ago.”

A hush fell over the room in remembrance of Anne’s late father.

“There was quite a few things bequeathed to people in this room,” she began with a feeble smile. “Green Gables was in his name, first of all, as was any money in the bank. He said that a fourth of it was to go to me, a half to Anne, and… a fourth to you, Jerry. So that you may have a future of prosperity.” She smiled a rare kind smile towards the boy, who had dropped the tart he had started to eat in secret on the floor.

“I… me?” he asked in disbelief. “But I am just the farm hand!”

“No, Jerry,” Anne refuted, giving Delphine to Sebastian and wrapping an arm around the taller boy. The Acadian had become the equivalent of her brother. “You’re family.”

__________________

It was the morning of December twenty third, a sunny and mildly chilling morning.

“Anne!” Marilla called out as she walked briskly into the kitchen. Anne was at the counter, lightly kneading some pie crust.

“Hmm?” the younger woman hummed, dusting her flour coated hands on her apron. Her red hair was loosely braided down her back, a few strands escaping the ribbon and falling over her face. She brushed it back, a smidgen of flour streaking her cheek.

“We’re going with Sebastian to pick up Gilbert and his friend at the station,” Marilla announced with a look on her face that made it clear that she thought it was obvious.

“We?” Anne scowled, shaking her head fervently. “I’ll stay behind.”

“You will do no such thing! It is only polite!”

“You need more space on the carriage anyways, I’ll just hinder you.”

“Anne Shirley-Cuthbert! I don’t know what silly little squabble is going on between you and Gilbert, but I know as well as anyone that ignoring each other will not solve it! I learned that much in my limited time with love. It’s what happened with… John. I couldn’t talk to him about how I was feeling and that was the end of it. I will not permit the same thing to happen to you. So stop this nonsense and come with me!”

Anne groaned and she threw off her apron, flinging it on the counter. She washed her hands(taking an excruciatingly long time) and rolled down the sleeves of her white topped dress down. She fiddled with her flowing dark green skirt.

“Anne, aren’t you going to get washed up?” asked Marilla, horrified at her less than put together state. Her green skirt had been sprinkled with sugar and flour was still smudged across her cheek.

“It’s enough that I’m going, I’m not going to make the effort to look splendid for one who can’t even respond with a simple ‘ok’,” she grumbled, rolling her eyes. “If he wants me at my best, he’ll have to cope with me at my worst.”

________________

Earlier…

“Gil? Mate, you there?” Alex knocked on his friend’s bedroom door. He had done his best to look spiffed up for the train ride, using more hair gel than usual and his best suit. It was a sixteen hour and he figured he would look absolutely horrible after it, but Josie was coming to see him and he wanted to look a little less like a homeless bloke.

“Yes,” he groaned from inside his room.

“You alright in there?” Alexander questioned from outside the room.

“Yes, just a little… tired. I’ll be right ou-” His sentence was interrupted by a string of violent coughs.

“That sounds bad, are you sure maybe we shouldn’t wait until tomorrow to-”

“No!” Gilbert interjected loudly, his voice mustering up strength to object. “I want to see Anne.”

“Right then. Train arrives at eight, be ready in fifteen minutes.”

Ten minutes later, Gilbert came out of his room, face red and eyes tired.

“Whoa, you look terrible,” Alex commented, snorting comically while looking up from his book.

“I’m aware,” Gilbert deadpanned, rubbing his eyes. “Just a… cold.”

“I’m no Louis Pasteur, but that looks worse than just a cold. Some kind of influenza at the very least.”

“I’ll be fine… let’s just go.” He grabbed his bags weakly, one in each hand.

“If you say so.”

Ten hours later…

“Is it just me or is it freezing?” Gilbert asked through shivers, teeth chattering as he pulled his coat around himself tighter.

Alex shot him a strange look, raising an eyebrow. “This place has steam heating. You sure you’re good?”

“I’m fine, I think I just need to get my blood flowing a little bit. I’ll take a walk along the aisle.” Gilbert got up, using the arm rest as support. His usually lean and muscular body(which had since lost weight) trembled like a sapling in the wind. As he walked shakily down, Alex looked at him with concern in his blue eyes for his best friend.

“Don’t exert yourself too mu-” He was sharply cut off by a thud on the floor.

Gilbert Blythe had fainted, a heap in the middle of the aisle.


	28. Soon You'll Get Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Josie find out some bad news, close friend discussions, and romantic promises are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't take a week or more to update??? Who even am I??? Enjoy the quick update, loves. I hope you like the bit of positivity in this chapter. I tried to incorporate some angsty fluff. Don't start the song until after the second break!

**_Who am I supposed to talk to?_ **

**_What am I supposed to do, if there's no you? <_ **

“The train’s pulling in,” Marilla noted as the faint sound of chugging intensified. Josie and Anne were waiting beside her boredly, Anne forced to come and Josie genuinely excited to greet her beau, though she’d never admit it to him. Sebastian had been forced to stay home and wait for Gilbert because the train station would be an absolute nightmare to tow around Delphine in.

Josie concealed a giddy smile(she had a little bit of dignity left, thank you very much.) while Anne rolled her eyes.

Low enough for just Anne to hear, she murmured, “You need to talk to him about what’s happening. You can’t just go two weeks without talking to him. If it really is over between you two, affirm it with him instead of making assumptions.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Anne agreed reluctantly, crossing her arms. “But this is all on him. If he does end up… l-leaving me,” her voice broke at that. “It’ll be entirely his fault.”

Josie sighed and squeezed Anne’s hand, the raw pain in her friend’s voice not lost on her. “Whatever it is, you’ll be alright.”

Anne flashed her friend a grateful smile as the big black steam engine pulled in loudly, coming to a slow stop in front of them, smoke billowing out of the top and into the chilly winter air.

Their eyes searched through the crowd for the two people they were looking for, but only one was spotted. Josie caught a flash of the blonde through the crowd and she waved him over, his blue eyes falling on her with joy and love. His expression changed to one of urgency, running over to them.

“Where’s Gilbert?” Anne asked, narrowing her eyes. He wouldn’t not come home but still send Alexander just to avoid her, would he? No, that wasn’t like him.

“You need to come with me,” he breathed, panting from the sprint through the crowd.

“What? Why?”

“Gilbert, he- he fainted on the train. We got off at one of the stops and some kind woman in the city dropped him off at a hospital in Charlottetown. I took the train back to tell you.” He looked expectantly between the two of them, gauging their reactions.

“H-hospital? He told me had a cold, but- he said it was-” Anne stammered, blue eyes wide with disbelief. Any anger at him drained out of her in an instant. As furious as she was, she loved him and she wouldn’t not be there for him over a silly spat. Everything seemed so in perspective now. She’d put all of this behind her in an instant for him to be okay.

“He’s been playing it down,” Alex said with a reproachful shake of his head.

“Of course he has. He wouldn’t want to worry anybody,” Anne whispered, her tremoring voice just loud enough to be heard by Alex, Marilla, and Josie. She allowed a tear to slip down her alabaster cheek before her resolve hardened, her face tensing as she made up her mind. “We have to go. I need to see him, make sure he’s alright, even if he doesn’t want to see me.”

Alexander’s brow rose in confusion. “Doesn’t want to see you? Anne, you’re all he’s been talking about for the past month.” Her mouth fell agape in surprise, narrowing her eyes at Alex in wariness.

“What? But that-that doesn’t make any sense. He hasn’t written me a single letter in a month and a half!”

“He just sent one to you two weeks ago! You should’ve gotten it by now!”

“I didn’t get a thing,” she denied, before her face transformed into a look of realization. “If it’s gotten lost in the mail, it-it isn’t his fault. I-I wrote him a letter, a vile, melancholy, defeated one. Oh, I have to go see him!” she cried, picking up her skirts and about ready to run over to the ticket booth.

“Anne!” Marilla pulled her back with a stern tone. “This is nonsense! Christmas is in two days!”

“It can’t truly ever be Christmas if I know that Gilbert, my Gilbert is lying alone in a hospital bed somewhere. I don’t know what’s afflicting him or if, if he’ll even make it out. I have to go to him, Marilla,” she insisted, her voice cracking and tears welling up in her eyes.

“I’ll come with you. That’s my best mate over there,” Alex agreed, his resolve firm.

“As will I,” Josie chimed in softly. “Christmas can’t be Christmas when I’m with a wretched family without my best friend or my beau. I’ll pay train fare myself if I need to.”

Marilla softened when she saw the desperately love stricken look on Anne’s face, the familial care on Alex’s, the tender concern on Josie’s, feelings she remembered all too well.

“Go,” she agreed, her voice a low whisper, pressing a handful of coins enough to tide all three of them over to Charlottetown.

_____________________

Anne’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest as the train started to encroach Charlottetown at an hour past noon. The main reason why was across from her, Josie and Alexander sitting close together with hands laced together, using each other for comfort. If her Gilbert was here, she’d hold him as tight as she could and repent for all the mistakes and misunderstandings caused by her.

“How long… how long has he been sick for?” Anne asked Alex emotionlessly, afraid that if she showed any of her sadness, she might just collapse on the floor and cry for a good hour.

“Started showing symptoms around… two weeks ago?” Alex wracked his brain to remember and the earliest memory he could find was fifteen days ago when he had noted that Gilbert had been coughing more than usual.

“That’s a long time he’s been hiding how bad it is.”

“Unfortunately.” A heavy silence fell over the group, Josie slowly leaning against her almost freakishly tall beau’s shoulder, clinging onto his arm as he brushed his lips against her hair.

“I need to use the loo, darling. I’ll be back in a moment,” Alexander murmured to Josie. She nodded gravely, smiling at him sadly. He squeezed her hand and brushed a kiss to her cheek before standing up, walking down the hall.

“You two are the epitome of romance,” Anne commented dreamily, smiling kindly at her friend. “Have you… have you told him about your romantic preferences?”

Josie looked startled. “Of course not. Never, if I can help it, or not at least we are bonded enough until he would be willing to overlook it in the very least.”

“Overlook it? Oh, my dear Josie, if he truly loved you, it wouldn’t be something to overlook. He would love you for it, not despite it! Love, in whatever way or form, woman, man, or otherwise, is beautiful!” Anne ranted, moving to sit beside her for a moment, clasping her hand tightly.

“Everything you’re saying makes sense, but… the fear of losing him is just so strong, stronger than the fear of just… not telling him,” Josie sighed, tears coming to her eyes. She wasn’t usually a crier, but the thought of her former nemesis now turned most trusted confidant losing her beau combined with the spine chilling fear of losing the first love that truly accepted her was too much to bear.

“Oh Josie, I know it’s a lot to bear,” Anne comforted, wrapping the girl in a sisterly embrace. “But I know you’ll get through this. You are, by far, one of the strongest people I know. In fact, one would argue that Alex should be flattered! You had both men and women-double the regular size- to fall in love with, and you still chose him.”

She said it softly so that no one would be able to hear unless they truly wanted to do so.

Josie laughed through her flowing tears. “You’re right as always. I have no idea why I ever disliked you so when I had an amazing person under my nose the entire time. Though if what I’m hearing from the girls at Queens is right, I may have had a chance with Prissy Andrews after all,” she whispered lowly, giggling freely.

“Oh?” Anne said with feigned interest, laughing despite herself. “Scandalous!”

“Indeed, she and Stella Maynard are talking about buying a small house after they graduate and living together, adopting a couple dogs and cats. Of course, strictly platonically,” Josie added in fake solemnity. Prissy had made it clear to her inner circle that it was anything but platonic.

“Oh yes, why else would two women even think of it?” Anne questioned in false naivety, nudging Josie playfully as they keeled over in fits of small peals of laughter. It was nice to have a distraction while they could.

“As much as I do thoroughly admire the female form,” Josie began more seriously. “I wouldn’t trade Alex for the world.”

Anne sighed lovingly and moved back to her seat when she saw Alexander walking down the aisle towards them again.

All seemed well, all seemed fine. But on the train to Charlottetown for an outing with another girl, was a pug-faced blonde boy, smirking wickedly at all the new gossip he had heard.

_______________________

It was a half hour later when the three of them were walking-no, half sprinting- over to the hospital, one of the best in the city.

They walked into the building where a woman was scrawling something down at a wood desk, a nameplate deeming her Elaine Kensington.

“We’re looking for Gilbert Blythe,” Anne said urgently, not bothering with pleasantries.

The woman peered up at the three of them through round spectacles, flipping through a stack of sheets.

“Now, he’ll be in one of the private nursing rooms upstairs because he’s highly contagious. Room 16. The doctors likely won’t let you see him or touch him without gloves and cloth face coverings. You’ll probably have to wait outside for a bit.”

“Thank you,” they all said in unison, walking briskly down the hall and up the stairs.

Finally, room 16 was upon them, the wood door an ominous reminder of why they were here. Anne stepped forward, knocking on the door from where she heard discussion from inside.

It was a few minutes before a tall serious looking man outside, putting his rubber medical gloves in his coat pocket.

“You are the friends and family of Mr. Blythe?” he confirmed, his voice low and solemn.

“Yes,” Anne responded, putting her hand out to shake. “I’m Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, his… partner. This is Alexander Whitmore, his roommate, and Josie Pye, his sweetheart and a friend of Gilbert’s. And you, doctor?”

“My name is Dr. Richard Marsmore and in regards to your polite handshake, I’m afraid I must not, Miss Cuthbert. I would beseech you not to touch anything without gloves if you are inside that room, and I must adhere to the same rules.”

“That’s no problem, but... what happened?” she inquired, her icy blue eyes wide with blind hope and a sad kind of curiosity.

“You’re lucky you brought him in when you did. Another couple hours and… I don’t think he would have made it,” he remarked, his brown eyes steely and no nonsense.

“So, is he going to…” Josie asked softly, afraid of continuing the sentence.

“It is up to the good Lord himself at this point. My assistant, Robert, is in there right now. He’s in crucial condition and very weak, but his body is fighting it and he’s in the final stages. I’m surprised you waited this long to bring him here, it sounds like he’s been in weak condition for weeks now!”

“Gilbert has a problem with people worrying about him,” Alexander explained, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He couldn’t lose his best friend, the closest ‘kindred spirit’ he’d ever had.

“Ah,” Doctor Marsmore said, brow furrowing. “At this point, I say that if he makes it past the day, he’s in the clear. It’s about 50/50 at this point.”

“May we… may we see him?” Anne inquired, tears already running down her cheeks. She didn’t want his last memory of her to be bitter.

“He’s in and out of consciousness, so I don’t know how responsive he’ll be, but each of you will need some rubber gloves. One at a time, of course. It is not spread through touch, so you may touch him and the like, but do not bring food into the room.” He disappeared into the room again before coming out with three pairs of cheap rubber gloves, not disposable, but of flimsy quality.

“You first, Anne,” Josie encouraged, pushing her forwards gently. With a quivering breath, Anne opened the huge brown door and stepped inside, legs barely holding her up.

There was a chair near the door which she picked up and moved next to her Gilbert, sitting down as close as she could.

“Gil?” she breathed softly, her gloved hand running over his forehead.

“A-Anne,” he coughed, his voice raspy and sick. He was gaunt, his face sharp with emaciation, bones clearly visible. His face had a deathly pallor, save for the dark bags under his exhausted hazel eyes. Despite all of this, for a moment, his troubles seemed to wash away when he saw her. His eyes lit up with a split second of pure joy and that was enough to break her.

“Oh Gilbert,” she sobbed, the dam finally breaking fully. “Why would you- how, you should’ve- And I’m… pie and... ”

She couldn’t complete her sentence, cries wracking her body. “I’m so sorry,” she blubbered. “I’ve been so horrible.”

“You- you could never… be horrible, Anne-girl,” he rasped, his bony hand coming to rest on her gloved one. Even the touch through the cloth seemed to work wonders for him.

“How could you wait till the very last, Gil?” she whispered to him, brushing back curls that had fallen on his face. “The doctor’s telling me that there’s a 50% chance that this might be… be the-the last time I see you, darling.”

“It might,” he acknowledged, wincing as his stomach twisted sharply. “You’ll move on.”

Her mouth fell open in shock. “Gil, I-I could never! You are my one… true love. And I… I don’t know if I could go on without you. There would be no… no reason for me to… to even continue,” she sniffled. “You have to. You have to get better, my love.”

“I’ll make it…” he promised, making a vain effort to move closer to her. “For you.”

“Don’t give me false hope, Gilbert Blythe,” she laughed through a stream of steady tears.

“If, no, when I make it out of this,” he started, the end of his phrase interrupted by a violent string of coughs. “We should get married.”

She opened her mouth to say something(though not as much in protest as assurance).

“ I don’t mean right now,” he corrected, breathing heavily, the string of words almost too much to say in one breath.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be talking-” she interjected anxiously, her heart squeezing in her chest when she saw him in such a state.

“‘M fine,” he denied with a weak shake of his head. “I meant that… after you’re out of Queens, we should get married. But… let’s be engaged. ‘T isn’t very romantical, I know,” he chuckled, the effort quickly draining him of breath. “But if I… if I die, at least I know that I at least had… intentions of being with y-you forever.”

“Oh, of course,” she sighed, stroking his lightly stubbled face from days of neglected shaving. “Of course. I’d marry you right now if it would save you.”

“Just… be here, my Anne-girl,” he requested softly, a few drops falling from his eyes too when he saw her in such anguish. He wanted to tell his body to shape up and get well already. He didn’t want to see her in another minute of despair.

“Always, my Gilbert. Always.”


	29. The Archer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy conversations in the darkness

**_Dark side, I search for your dark side  
But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?_ **

After Alex had seen him and made a few pointed threats about what would happen if he left the world(some of the highlights being, ‘If you die, Gilbert Blythe, I’m going to kill you’), Anne was rushing straight back in.

He was sleeping soundly and she didn’t want to disturb his rest, so she brought a book in, sitting by him and reading, looking over at him every couple of minutes to make sure that he was indeed, still sleeping and not something else. She was reading Pride and Prejudice, her comfort read in times of trials and tribulations. It gave her such strength to know that two polar opposites that despised the other at first could find love in the other eventually, like anything was possible.

After an hour, Josie came back with sandwiches and bags full of some of the clothes that she and Anne had left at the boarding house(after all, Alex couldn’t stay there) and the three of them ate out in the hallway, Anne making the nurse swear on his troth to tell her if Gilbert woke up. Her vigil continued when she finished, pausing only to ask the other two if they wanted to see him.

They simply shook their heads. Alexander knew how important this was to the newly engaged girl and Josie was just there for emotional support.

After another four hours, she watched with hope as his long and dark eyelashes fluttered, his soulful eyes opening slowly.

“My fiance’s awake,” she whispered to him, a small smile curving her lips. The word made a pleasant fluttering pass through her body, like a swarm of butterflies tickling her.

“You have no... clue how... ecstatic...that word makes me,” he said with a contented smile, closing his eyes blissfully as her hands stroked his thick mop of dark curls.

“I think I have a considerably well conceived idea of it,” she shrugged, brushing her soft pink lips across his forehead. “And you shouldn’t be exerting yourself. Rest, my love. The greatest gift you could give me is being well. Are you hungry?”

He nodded and she ran outside for a moment, fetching the plain potato sandwich they had brought him. In her years of experience, she had seen many bouts of typhoid, and she knew that foods that were full of carbohydrates would boost his strength immensely.

He tried to take it from her, but she shook her head. “No, let me.”

Cutting it up into small bits, she helped him sit up and fed it to him piece by piece as he smiled gratefully(and with a hint of flirtation, though his physical incapabilities hindered him from acting on those thoughts) up at her.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked him hopefully.

“I’d like... to say yes, but…” He trailed off, his heart withering in his chest when he saw the optimistic light in her eyes slowly fizzle out.

“You’re not getting worse, are you?”

He shook his head from side to side and an audible sigh of relief escaped her lips.

“The doctor says that you have to make it through today night and you’ll be fine,” she mentioned nervously, fidgeting with her emerald colored skirt. He noticed and tried to allay her concerns, placing a bony hand atop hers.

“I will,” he coughed, not doing much to extinguish her worries.

“Now that you’ve finished eating, you’d best be dozing off again. You can talk as much as your heart delights once you are well, Gil,” she ordered, her natural leadership shining through.

“Yes, ma’am,” he rasped, waving her off as she tried to help him back down into a laying position. It took a second, but he did it with no problems.

She hesitated, softening for a moment. “Sleep well, darling.”

“Actually… will you...read to me?” he asked hoarsely, his hazel eyes pleading. She laughed hollowly, nodding and flipping to where she had left off.

“She respected, she esteemed, she was grateful to him, she felt a real interest in his welfare; and she only wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon herself, and how far it would be for the happiness of both that she should employ the power, which her fancy told her she still possessed, of bringing on her the renewal of his addresses…”

Within a couple minutes, he slowly drifted asleep to the sound of his truest love’s melodic voice, lulling him into pleasant dreams like the best of lullabies.

She noticed this and laughed softly at it. Getting up gracefully and taking the book with her, she leaned down to brush a kiss against his deathly pale cheek which was starting to gain some of its color back upon her arrival.

“I love you, my dearest,” she mumbled softly.

Just as she was about to exit the room to find Josie and Alex and pick up an early dinner, his raspy voice called out to her.

“You really do… look radiant…” he said, steadying his breath as much as possible. “I-In emerald.”

She reddened(the fool knew how to make her blush even when he was tipping precariously between the chasms of life and death!) and simply walked out.

____________________

Josie sighed bleakly and ripped up the paper in half, tossing it in the trash bin on the way out.

“What was it?” asked Alex, awaiting her outside the telegram office.

“Mother,” she scoffed with contempt, rolling her eyes fantastically. “She’s simply furious that I would be so deceitful and desert our family on an occasion of celebration! “ Josie mocked, her voice comically high and sarcastic. “She must’ve paid a pretty penny to write a message that lengthy just to make it known that she was furious at me. I bet she used the money that would be regularly for my Christmas present.”

“She’s fuming because you left with a day until Christmas Eve,” he translated dryly, letting her walk alongside him and lean on him casually. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer as she talked.

“Precisely. It isn’t good for her reputation, after all. Her daughter, whose honor was already tarnished by her ‘loose morals’, not even present at Christmas dinner? And for what, to help someone as low class as an orphan? To go traipsing about with her beau that they’ve never met? Treacherous!” she scoffed, her classically beautiful face contorting into an expression of displeasure. “But all the same, I feel disgusting for worrying about these things when my Anne’s love of her life is dancing with death. It feels so… trivial.”

The taller man shook his head, smiling lovingly at her. “I agree that we may have bigger fish to fry right about now, but that doesn’t make your struggles invalid. Not addressing the problem isn’t going to make it disappear, but perhaps it should be addressed later, in a more appropriate setting. Perhaps having a talk with your mother at home would do some good,” he suggested, shrugging casually, tucking his right hand into his pocket in a way that made him look positively delicious to Josie.

“So wise,” she commented jokingly. “I suppose that’s only fit when you’re courting someone as thoroughly intelligent as me.”

“Mhm,” he hummed, pretending to consider it. “Such cheek, Miss Pye.”

“I have cheek? From the way you’re holding me right now, Mrs. Lynde and my mother would have us on the marriage altar in an instant!” she harrumphed, though she really did not mind. Alex looked down and blushed in embarrassment to see that yes, as they were talking, his hand had accidentally drifted to the soft curve of her lower waist instead of where it had previously been resting on the top of her back.

He quickly moved it back up for fear of offending her, but she shook her head, holding his hand there with a conspiratorial wink.

“If my record is tarnished anyways, let’s give them something to actually titter about, shall we?” she asked him innocently, a devilish smirk playing on the corners of her lips.

In that moment, so utterly overwhelmed with all sorts of emotion, from heart breaking sadness to hope to despair to plain and undeniable affection, he took her delicate face in his larger hands and pressed a long kiss to her lips, propriety be damned.

She was pleasantly surprised and she reacted without even thinking, placing her fragile hands on his bulky and muscular shoulders and pulling him closer. It was her first real kiss, one that had happened in the middle of a hospice hallway. The others had been with a man who neither cared for her feelings nor her honor. This was the one that counted, where she was as willing a participant as Alex(if not more willing, in her opinion). Perhaps this hospital healed both hearts and bodies.

So when he pulled away from her with a hopeful and nervous smile, the look in his clear blue eyes asking her if he had been okay in doing it, she frowned and pulled him right back in.


	30. epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne stays at Aunt Jo's house for the night as everyone copes with different kinds of grief.

**_Holds your hand through plastic now  
Doc, I think she's crashin' out  
And some things you just can't speak about_ **

“I’m afraid you three will have to leave,” Dr. Marsmore announced, clasping his hands together. It was 7:00 at night and the three had been at the hospital all day, only going out to grab a bite of food.

Anne protested with a frown. “What- No, I-”

“Miss Cuthbert, he needs his rest. As I told you, he’s in critical condition. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, he is hardly able to stay awake for more than half an hour before falling unconscious yet again! He needs to make it past tonight and I am telling it to you straight, there is only half a chance that he will. He needs his rest and constant watch under medical expertise. If he breaks the fever, I suspect he’ll be less contagious and in the clear. Visiting hours have been long past over. Our kind receptionist would be happy to provide the name of a more than hospitable hotel,” he offered with a sympathetic smile.

“But-” she started to say, but she was cut off.

“Yes, we’re on our way out,” Josie stated firmly, giving Anne a determined headshake. She grabbed her hand and lead Anne out of the corridor, Alexander trailing behind them.

“Josie!” Anne exclaimed sharply. “I need to be with him! He needs me!”

“No, he needs a doctor and him knowing that you’re worrying about him certainly isn’t going to heal him up, dear.”

“But I need to be there for him. I’m his fiancee, I know what’s best for him, Josie,” she pleaded desperately, tears welling up in her eyes. This was a defense mechanism. Deep down, she knew that her being there would probably have an adverse effect, but fear shot through her when she thought of him passing. She imagined waking to the news that the one person she loved more than anything was gone and she could’ve collapsed right there. It wasn’t as if she could prevent that from happening by being there, but some irrationally bullish part of her mind told her that she could.

“Anne, this is nonsense. You want him to make it through this, don’t you?” she asked her, hissing through her teeth.

“I would give my own life,” Anne confirmed with frantic nods of her head.

“You agree that he needs his rest and he needs medical expertise right about now?”

“Of course, but-”

“And you agree that someone like you wandering around late at night could be a hindrance?” Josie affirmed with a raise of her eyebrow.

“Admittedly, yes, but-”

“What’s the problem, then?” she challenged, cocking her head to the side. “Why can’t you come back in the morning?”

Anne sighed defeatedly, knowing she was right. “I’m just… so frightened. What if… what if this is goodbye and I’ve left him in his final moments? We’d have never gotten the future we wanted together. I don’t know… I don’t know how I’d live without growing old together in our House of Dreams, knowing it was a spectacular possibility until this, this horrible affliction,” she expressed vulnerably, her body shaking with blood-curdling fear and mind numbing sorrow.

“Oh Anne,” Josie suspired, wrapping her up in a comforting hug. “I wish I knew how to help you. I wish there was a cure to this. I wish I could tell you that it will be alright, but…. I can’t without lying. It might not be alright, but I know you’ll get through it either way.”

“But-But what if I can’t? I don’t think I can take another loss. It seems that every time I find someone dear, they just… slip through my fingers.” Anne’s hand closed over something nonexistent and she looked down at it with desperate grief, as if she was watching something drain away through the cracks.

“You’ve been through so much and I’ll be here beside you, Diana will be there, Ruby will be there. Gilbert’s always been a fighter when it comes to you, Anne. You should’ve seen the beating he gave Billy before he left for the steamer! He was fuming for days! If I know anything about you two, he’ll at least try to pull through for you! Alexander once told me in one of our letters- though he was making fun of you two-that in a drunken state, Gilbert once said, if I recall correctly, that you were his one and only reason to exist, that God only created his humble form to worship you. Now, do you really think someone who waxed poetic about you while set drunk would leave you?”

Anne simply sobbed and laughed at the same time, wiping her eyes pathetically. “I hope not. Oh, I love him so much it scares me, Josie. I can’t… fathom it. I’d be a shell of a girl if he…” She couldn’t complete her sentence, breaking down all over again.

With a reassuring squeeze of her hand, Josie just walked on with her friend, wishing she could do something, anything, to make him well again.

___________________________

“Are you sure she’d be okay with it?” Alex asked nervously as Anne led him and Josie through Charlottetown’s busy streets in the night.

“Of course she would. She’d understand,” Anne replied with a solemn shake of her head.

“Josephine Barry is a true icon with rooms to spare. It’ll… get your mind off about things to see Cole again,” Josie told Anne sympathetically.

“I’m not sure anything could get my mind off of it, Josie,” she sighed dismally. “But I do miss Cole and Aunt Jo terribly.”

After five more minutes of halfhearted chatter, the three of them arrived at the splendorous chateau.

“God, Mother would kill for this house,” Alexander observed, letting out a low whistle.

With a reassuring smile from Josie, Anne rapped on the large wooden doors thrice. After sounds of shuffling from inside, the lock clicked and a tall man with a fuzz of gray hair on his head opened the door.

“Rollings, how do you do?” Anne asked politely.

“Very well. I didn’t think Miss Barry was expecting you, Miss Shirley-Cuthbert,” he replied, casting a curious look over the odd trio.

“She isn't. I was just hoping…”

Before she could continue, Josephine herself walked regally out of her dining room. “Rollings, let those poor children in from the cold! You know Anne doesn’t need an invitation to visit!

Stepping aside, he let them in.

“Aunt Jo,” Anne sighed, wrapping the old woman in a tight embrace. “I’m ever so sorry for the short notice, but something terrible beyond words has happened and we need a place to rest our heads for the night. I hope we’re not imposing. Say the word and we’ll leave straight away-”

“Nonsense, Cole and I were just about to have dessert. Join us and you can tell me all about what catastrophe has befallen you this time. And… I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of officially meeting this young man,” she said, her wise eyes turning to Alex. She held out her hand for a handshake.

“Good evening, ma’am. I’m Alexander Whitmore, Josie’s partner and Gilbert’s roommate at U of T. It’s a pleasure to meet someone whom my dear friends idolize so,” he greeted, an earnest and courteous smile on his face. He shook her hand heartily.

“You’ve picked a good one, Miss Pye,” Aunt Jo chuckled, Josie blushing profusely at the comment.

“I like to think so,” she admitted, her blue eyes overflowing with care. Alex more than reciprocated the sentiment, taking her petite hand in his large one.

“Aunt Jo, what in the world is going on?” a male voice asked, walking out of the dining room. He froze in surprise when he saw Anne, Josie, and Alexander standing in the foyer with saddened faces.

“Anne,” he bubbled happily, running to her and wrapping her in a crushing embrace. She whole heartedly flung her arms around him, the presence of one of her best friends lightening her heart for a single moment.

“Oh Cole,” she exhaled, emotion rushing through her. She stepped out of the hug, but still held his hands in hers. “There’s so much to tell you. Both of you.”

“Well, you can do it over strawberry shortcake,” Aunt Jo announced adamantly. She turned to her butler with an authoritative tone. “Rollings, please tell Lucy to prepare three more plates.”

Over a sizable portion of dessert, Anne, Josie, and Alex relayed the events of the day to Aunt Jo and Cole with somber tones and melancholy faces. Anne very conveniently left out the part where she got engaged because she didn’t want to get hopes up.

Aunt Jo and Cole were stunned into a grim silence.

After a moment, Cole was the first to speak up, seeing the reserve of tears building up in his dearest friend’s eyes. “Oh Anne, you must feel so horrible. I’m so sorry. You’ve been… amazingly graceful about this.”

He extended his hand from across the table and she took it. He squeezed her pale and delicate hand firmly, offering comfort to her. She wiped away her tears in vain because more just streamed down her cheeks.

“Have faith, dear one. That boy loves you till the ends of the Earth. Let that knowledge suffice for now. You cannot control the future and God only knows what He has in store. Gilbert has… so much to live for. A sweetheart, a best friend, a brother, a niece, call me addled, but I have a feeling that it is not his time. And if it is, well… you have to go along with it,” Aunt Jo imparted, a few tears springing to her eyes.

At that point, there wasn’t a dry eye at the table. Even Rollings was dabbing his face with a kerchief from the corner of the room.

“Tomorrow could either be the best Christmas present or the worst day of our lives,” Alexander said softly, sighing mournfully.”

“Indeed,” Josie agreed, casting a worried look at Alex and Anne. Along with Bash, they would be the most effected if Gilbert left the land of living. With all her heart, she hoped that Gilbert Blythe would make it through the night. Not just because he was a wonderful and kind and fair soul, supporting her throughout her trials and tribulations with Billy unlike some of her own friends, but because she didn’t think she could bear seeing both Anne and Alex so heartbroken.

It sounded ever so selfish to her. She hadn’t been amazingly close to Gilbert, yet she was acting as if they had been the best of chums purely to save herself from secondhand grief! But yet, here she was, weeping over him, someone she’d known almost purely through association.

“I’d best get to bed early,” Anne mumbled, knowing that there was no way that she’d be able to catch a wink of sleep tonight.

“Your rooms are prepared upstairs. And Alexander and Josie, I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but if you two wish to forgo the rules of common propriety tonight, I would be willing to turn a blind eye. I know you two to be responsible and I also know the comfort of love in hardships.”

“Thank you, Miss Barry,” Alexander said, mustering up a defeated smile.

“Come now, darling. Let’s go,” Josie murmured, her blue eyed gaze remaining on him the entirety of the way up.

__________________________

Alex started to head into his own room, walking numbly in front of his sweetheart. He didn’t want to be too brazen. He himself found modern courting customs to be a bit old fashioned and by his recollection, so did she, but he still didn’t want to cross a line, especially considering all the incredible strength she had put in to get over her past experiences.

She noticed this and she placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him around. “Alex, I know it isn’t proper, but… I wouldn’t mind it if you would sleep in my room tonight.”

Normally, he’d have been over the moon, but he simply nodded and let her lead him in. Any other day, he would have noticed how she looked almost ethereal, white nightgown fluttering behind her as she walked gracefully, the lightbulbs illuminating her blonde waves like they had been spun from pure gold. Any other day, he would have made a remark about how she was a goddess and he was but a mere human placed on Earth to worship every inch of her glowing ivory skin and sparkling blue eyes.

But this was not any other day.

The pair settled into the covers, tension running high. Josie noticed the furrow in her dark gold brow and she wondered what he was thinking. Hesitantly, she reached out and smoothed out the crease with her soft fingers that hadn’t done a day of physical work(though her emotional baggage was more than he’d ever experience).

“You know you can talk to me, right?” she broached carefully, running a soothing hand in his fluffy dirty blonde hair. It was usually immaculately coiffed with the finest pomade, but right before bed, all the product had been washed out and it was in smooth natural waves that fell over his face. “About anything. Don’t be afraid to… to tell me what you’re feeling. I know it’s hard losing a best friend and that I could never understand as you do, but… I care for you very dearly, Alexander Whitmore, and I don’t say it as often as I should, but I’m here for you.”

With that statement, he looked up at her and met her tender and concerned eyes, the look in his midnight blue eyes so broken, so utterly desolate. Right in front of her, he crumbled like an old stone wall, every facade of strength he’d been putting up breaking away. He all but fell into her waiting embrace, a steady stream of tears running down his face.

Maybe he’d be known as unmanly for showing emotion, maybe he’d be scoffed at and scorned, but if there was one thing his best friend had taught him was to never shy away from empathy or emotion. Gilbert could feel so deeply and thinking of the friend he’d relied on for the past half year suddenly disappearing frightened him more than anything right now.

“Oh darling,” she whispered in his ears, embracing him tightly as he wept into her shoulder. “It’ll be alright. Everything will be alright.”

“But-but what if it won’t? G-Gilbert is-is a kindred spirit, as Anne would say. The truest friend I have! I just feel so… helpless, Jo.” He broke down again, holding her dainty body to his muscular one tightly. She didn’t mind it. In fact, she welcomed it. It wasn’t healthy for him to be holding in his emotion, man, woman, or otherwise.

“I know, Alex. I know. I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something for you,” she replied softly, rocking him back and forth, burrowing her face in his shoulder.

After what seemed like hours of them hugging, providing warmth to the other, Alex spoke timidly.

“May I.. may I hold you tonight, Josie? Only if you’re comfortab-”

She interjected with an immediate “Yes. I think that tonight, we both need it.”


	31. Untouchable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne receives good news!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! Its been a while. I have a huge plot line planned for our dear Josie in a couple chapters, but for now, enjoy a lot of tooth rotting Shirbert fluff.

**_And when you're close I feel like coming undone_ ** __

_“Anne,” he croaked, hand outstretched to her. He dangled precariously over a deep black chasm, only a single thread attached to a tree holding him from plummeting. A figure cloaked in deep black held a pair of enormous shears, the blades inches away from stripping him from his only lifeline._

_She was frozen to her spot, quite literally. She tried to dash towards the hooded figure, but her feet seemed to be sinking into the iron red dusty cliff._

_She was utterly helpless._

_“Gilbert,” she wailed, tears flowing like waterfalls down her freckled cheeks. “Gilbert, no!”_

_“Please don’t!” she yelled to the dark figure, her voice breaking. “Please, I’ll do anything! Take my life for his! Just don’t…”_

_With a single snap, the string broke and he went tumbling over the edge, her name falling from his lips as he dropped. Her blue eyes widened and she gasped brokenly. A heart wrenching wail escaped her mouth as she collapsed to her knees, body heaving with grief._

Anne shot up in bed as daylight filtered through the bedroom window. Her eyes were bright red and swollen and her downy pillow was soaked with salty tears.

“Happy fourth Christmas Eve, Princess Cordelia,” she mumbled half-heartedly. With a jolt, it struck her suddenly, her nightmare finally registering in her mind.

“Gilbert,” she said to herself, his name tumbling out of her mouth with the realization. She stood up suddenly, throwing the covers off of her. She threw on the first things she could find, an off-white buttoned blouse with a light blue checkered skirt. She never even bothered with a corset. She ran a brush through her red hair, braiding it haphazardly down her shoulder. Tying her boots up, she raced downstairs.

Josie and Alex were already there, munching on toast silently. Alex’s eyes were red with an all too familiar puffiness, and even Josie’s exhibited signs of weariness.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” Josie said, standing up suddenly. Alex dropped his toast on his plate and stood up, pulling his chair back in. It was clear they all were waiting for the same thing.

They all felt the tension of the moment resound between them. This was it. In a few short minutes, they would find out whether he had broken the fever and Anne would have the wedding of her dreams in a few years, whether Alex would have the friend he hoped to keep for a lifetime, or if all their aspirations for their future would be crushed.

With an exchange of a look between the three, they all threw on a coat and headed into the December air, stopping only to scrawl a note to Aunt Jo and Cole to thank them profusely, to say that hopefully, they’d be back with happy news.

After the couple blocks’ walk, they all but froze outside the hospital doors. Not from the chill or the snow, but from heart racing fright. It seemed so ominous now, as if the building could swallow them whole. Anne would take that a thousand times before having to hear the ghastly news she had a chance of receiving.

“Are you ready?” she breathed, her blue eyes widening in anticipation.

“Not even a bloody bit,” Alex said without missing a beat. “Shall we go in then?”

Without a word to counter it, Anne all but ran into the place, dashing up the stairs and into the hallway she knew to house Gilbert’s room. The doctor was on the other side of the hallway tending to another patient, so he had no inclination that they had arrived. They didn’t even bother to ask permission, ignoring the dirty look from the receptionist and the weird stares from grieving strangers.

With one fateful push of the door, she wasn’t in any way prepared for what was coming. She stepped into the bland colored room, the breath knocked out of her in an instant.

There was no one in the bed.

The sheets seemed to be pristine and clean and new blankets were folded on the edge. No, it couldn’t be. She had been holding out for a miracle and all that flashed through her head was denial when she saw a seemingly uninhabited room.

“Gilbert?” she called out shakily, tears pricking at her eyes like burning needles. “Gilbert, are you there?”

No response.

“Gilbert?” she repeated, biting her lower lip. There was silence.

But then, a slow steps echoed across the room and the door to the bathroom opened. Everything in her world lit up like a thousand suns when she saw him, standing and even walking slowly and shakily, balance rocky but intact.

“Oh my,” she sobbed, clasping her hands to her mouth. “For a moment, I thought… And now… You’re standing! I-”

Without another word, she ran to where he was standing near the doorframe to the restroom, enveloping him in the warm embrace he longed for every single day. With a cry of relief, she noticed that his skin had the sticky sheen of sweat on it and was cool to the touch. He all but fell into her touch, letting every nook and cranny of her beauty completely envelope him.

“You sweat it out,” she whispered into his shoulder, her grip tighter than steel. He leaned down to bury his face into the crook of her neck, absorbing the feel of her smooth skin, her natural wildflower and lavender soap scent, the gentle curves that comprised her beautiful body. Of course he had made it, he thought to himself. How silly of her to think that he wouldn’t stare Death right in the face and tell it to go to hell to keep the radiant smile on her face.

“Of course, silly girl,” he murmured, his voice trembling and hoarse, but significantly stronger than the previous day. “For you. Always… for you.”

He wanted to enjoy his life with her for as long as possible. He wanted to enjoy all her whims and fancies and fairytales, her blithe giggles and passionate rants, her traipses through the meadow, her incredible sense of what was right, and most of all, he wanted to enjoy every aspect of her beautiful self while being able to be called her husband someday, the father of their future children.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Anne-girl,” he murmured as she tightened her grip around him. He could feel water on his shoulder from her tears, but it didn’t matter. As long as she was here. “Was that a… good enough present?”

“Christmas can go straight to the deepest pits of hell. I just need you, Gil,” she replied, pulling away and looking into his eyes intensely. The most surprising thing escaped from her mouth, a cute and joyful little giggle that made him want to do scandalous things to her. Whether it was from the delirium of the past couple days or the intense relief she felt at his impending recovery, she did not know.

Upon the gorgeous sound, Gilbert swore to himself that when he was returned to full strength, propriety be damned, he would sling her over his shoulder and whisk her away if he had to, just to be able to kiss those perfect pink lips that were so often trapped between her teeth when she concentrated, to be able to run his hands down the body that seemed as if it were sculpted by Michelangelo himself.

“I’m afraid I’m... scandalously in love with you,” Gilbert commented flirtatiously. "And even death couldn't...combat that."

She cupped his face tenderly before scowling and crossing her arms. “And don’t you ever scare me like that again, Gilbert Blythe! I don’t care if you just have the sniffles, you’d better tell someone to take you to the doctor. I’m not ever going to cope with this nonsense again! When you’re a doctor, the first thing you’d better start working towards is a cure for typhoid!”

Of course, she wasn’t really vexed at him. How could she be cross with him when he was in her arms, safe and sound?

“Oy, let the rest of us have a turn!” Alexander remarked. The desolate sadness on his face had been replaced with his usual shining grin, much to Josie’s pleasure. “You’ll have the rest of your lives for all of this froth!”

“That… that we will,” Gilbert said with a loving glance. Anne blushed and swatted him gently, shaking her head in false disapproval.

“Sit down, Gil. Don’t exert yourself. You’re still healing,” she chided, offering her arm so that he could slowly walk over to sit in a chair.

“That’s right,” a man said from the doorway, frowning at the three. “And I thought I told you three to come in one at a time.”

“Oh, we’re ever so sorry, Doctor. You see, we just couldn’t wait to see him,” Anne explained to the older man with an apologetic smile.

“Yes, yes. As I was going to tell you had you informed me of your arrival, he’s on his way to an... amazingly quick recovery, the likes of which we've never seen. It's as if his mind just made up to get better, and he did. It's a phenomenon we've only seen when patients have received excellent news and have a reason to live fresh on their minds. He made it through the night with intensive treatment and will probably be ready to be kept at home by today night, on the condition that he does not do any heavy work for at least a few days. For now, we want to keep him in for the next couple hours for observation.”

“Ah, yes. And how much do I owe you? I’ll take a trip to the bank and come up with the money,” Alex inquired.

“No need. We’ve received a telegram that the expenses have been covered by a…a Josephine Barry?” Anne opened her mouth and closed it again in surprise.

“Well, we’ll have to find some way to thank her then,” she announced with a definitive shake of her head.

“I-I’ll pay her back,” Gilbert argued weakly, but was met with a sharp glare from both Anne and Josie. Alexander simply chuckled, knowing that being on the receiving end of wrath from either of the women wasn’t pleasant.

“You will do no such thing, Gilbert Blythe! Let your loved ones take care of you, or I will be your next cause of illness!” Anne scolded, her auburn brows furrowing in vexation.

Gilbert held his hands up in surrender with a shrug and a single laugh of apology. Alex simply smirked at his friend, as if to say I told you so.

Once the doctor had left to fetch some crackers for Gilbert to munch on for breakfast, Anne and the others promptly set about entertaining themselves for the day. Alex and Josie decided to go on “a walk”(though by the look on their face, they were about to go do things that weren’t appropriate for polite company).

“Anne, you don't have to sit here until I’m r- released. It’s Christmas Eve, you, Alex, and Josie should go out and treat yourselves,” he protested, gripping her hand weakly.

“You must be a fool to think I’ll do anything other than just that, Gil. I won’t allow my intended to wither away on my most favorite holiday!” she sniffed proudly, a teasing smile cracking through her haughty airs.

“Have-have I ever told you how much I really l-love you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert?” he whispered in her ear. She laughed softly and craned her neck to brush her soft pink lips against his for a long moment. It was pure, slow, and tender, nothing too intense for fear of exhausting him.

“For now,” she murmured against his lips.

“I’ll always love you,” he combatted with a frown. Hadn’t he said enough to prove that he’d want to be with her forever? Was she misled by the part where he had literally stated his intention for her to wear an engagement ring on her finger?

“Oh, that part’s true,” she began with a coy smirk. “But soon enough, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert will be a thing of the past.”

“Oh?” he chuckled deeply, curious as to what she meant. She slung her hands around his neck, moving closer so that she was resting on top of his lap.

“Mhm,” she hummed, nodding languidly. “I do think I’d rather prefer Anne Blythe.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he warned, brushing a strand of scarlet behind her ear. “Or I might sling you over my shoulder and whisk you away to sign the papers right now.”

“If I didn’t care so much for an education, I just might’ve let you,” she giggled affectionately, tracing a path down his handsome and chiseled face with her fingers.

“I don’t know how I’m going to stand another three years and a half without you, especially knowing that, well, the girl I’ve been in love with for three years finally agreed to marry someone like me,” he admitted, a hopeful smile.

“Shh, don’t fret about all of that right now. Right at this very moment, you’re well and we’re engaged and we have two more weeks to do whatever we please with each other.”

“Whatever we please?” he repeated, his hazel eyes glinting with mischief.

“Whatever we please that is appropriate for your condition. May I remind you that we are still in a public space with polite company, and you are still healing! In fact, you should go to sleep before we go home,” she insisted, climbing off of him and pushing him backwards gently.

“Fine,” he groaned with a pout, lying back on the twin sized hospital bed and patting the space beside him with a optimistic smile.

“It’s much too small for the two of us, Gil,” she refused, shaking her head from side to side.

“We’ll make it work,” he argued, scooching further left to make a significant amount of space for her. She was about to protest again, but with a glance at his stupid charming and pleading gaze, she folded like a cheap suit.

“Damn your eyes, Gilbert Blythe,” she grumbled, climbing into the small space with him.

“Don’t let Marilla hear that,” he responded smartly, turning in her direction to wrap an arm around her and pull her close to him. Despite her inhibitions, she welcomed it readily, nuzzling into his chest with a contented sigh escaping her lips.

Soon enough, both of them drifted off for some uninterrupted rest, meeting again in the beautiful plains of Dreamland.

(And if Josie and Alexander snuck back into the room half an hour later looking a little less than put together...Well, you could say it was providence.)


	32. Sweet Creature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! This chapter is average length, but the next two are GINORMOUS. Get ready for disgustingly adorable shirbert... for the time being. I won't reveal much about the coming conflict except that Josie's about to become a main character. :) 
> 
> Also, this song is the EMBODIMENT of shirbert.

**_Where ever I go,_ **

**_you bring me home._ **

"Are you sure you're-"

"I'm fine," Gilbert protested, frowning as Anne tried to wave over a doctor. He placed a reassuring hand on hers to stop her. "Really, Anne-girl. I'm not lying. I'm ready to go home. I want... I want to spend Christmas with our family."

Her lips set into a tight-lipped frown and her eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion, but she nodded anyways.

"Okay," she exhaled with uncertainty. "We'll check out, but you are sleeping on the way back! You have fourteen more days to dance away with me and our friends and family, but depend on this one to catch up on rest."

"Of course. I intend on being as sprightly as I can for the rest of the trip, but not at the expense of putting you through pain again," he agreed solemnly, looking up at her with hazel puppy eyes.

She sighed hopelessly, rolling her eyes. "You're the one who caught a horrendous bout of typhoid, but you're worried about putting me through pain?"

"You're the one that has to live through it, my faerie queen. You know that the worst sight in the world is seeing you weep, though you are arguably more beautiful than Ruby when you cry," he teased, grinning crookedly at her.

She groaned in false weariness. "What ever am I to do with you, dear Gilbert?"

"Maybe... forever with you might fix me up a little. But I doubt it. I think I'll stay hopelessly in love with you for eternity."

She smiled a heart melting grin and stood on the tips of her toes to plant a kiss on his lips.

"I don't have a problem with that, but I do have an issue with missing the train. Now, do you need me to carry you or shall we go?" she asked with a small giggle, nudging him on the arm softly.

He chuckled at her moxie, grasping her hand firmly and walking slowly. She took a bag in each hand, one hers and one Gilbert's. He had desired to attempt to carry his, but that had earned him a menacing glare and a gentle smack on the arm as he had reached for it, followed by a loving sentiment about how it was her turn to take care of him for once. The girl's moods changed with the wind, but he loved her for it.

After about a half hour, the train was whizzing away from the station, the sky a blur of sunset reds and pinks and blues. Across from them, Josie and Alex were fast asleep, Josie's head resting on Alex's strong shoulder unconsciously. Their hands were intertwined between them. Anne wished that having portraits made could be easier, for it would have been the most romantical picture of them.

The setting sun reminded Gilbert of the woman sitting next to him, his most beloved Anne. The vivid red of the sun setting on the horizon was like her absolute flame of thick and wavy hair. The vibrant sun was only intensified by the brilliant blue that only a small portion of the sky was now, a mesmerizing color that reminded him of her fluid eyes that he could look into for a large portion of the day, the eyes that could reflect so many emotions.

As if instinct, his eyes naturally turned away from the sky and onto her. Her face was balanced in her left hand, sighing contently as she peered out of the window. What had he done to deserve her, his most beautiful faerie queen, the love of his life, his soon to be wife? It seemed so surreal.

She turned around to check if he was asleep yet and frowned disapprovingly as he grinned at her. "I told you to rest. What are you looking so intently at?"

"Oh, only the most beautiful woman in the universe."

She only blushed and rolled her eyes, muttering, "You're a fool, Gilbert Blythe."

"I love you too, Carrots."

_________________________

Marilla, Bash, Hazel, and the Pyes were waiting at Bright River to drive their respective families home. Hazel had Delphine in her arms, the chocolate curled baby squealing in joy when she saw Anne and Gilbert approach, Alex and Josie following behind closely.

"It's a crime that I've been kept from seeing my niece for so long," Gilbert announced regally, taking Delphine from Hazel with an adoring smile. He kissed both of her chubby cheeks.

If it weren't for certain ridiculous notions of propriety, Anne would've leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, simply for being the criminally charming, too-pure-for-this-world boy she had grown to love more than life itself. "And I guess I've missed you too," he tacked on at the end, sparing Bash a fleeting and playful grin.

"Well, Merry Christmas Eve to you too, Blythe. Next time you get sick, at least send a telegram so my mother knows not to set your place at dinner," Sebastian teased, embracing his brother from the side for a lingering moment, careful not to squish his daughter.

He turned to Anne with a genuine smile. "And thank you, Queen Anne, for bringing this irritating moke home all safe and sound."

Meanwhile, Josie had some of her own introductions to do.

"We'll discuss your impertinence later, dearest," her mother said sharply, sniffing with airs of a haughty princess, despite being nowhere close in stature nor standing. "But you have company to introduce us to." She referred to Alex, standing behind Josie with a timid and heartening grin.

"Yes," Josie sighed, trying not to roll her eyes. "Mother, Father, this is Alexander Whitmore. He is... my beau. I'm sure you've received his letters."

"We have. He seems like an upstanding member of the community," her father said coldly, glaring daggers at her. She could sense the extra meaning implied. ...so why would he like someone with a sullied reputation?

Alex shook his hand firmly, trying not to express his slight annoyance at her parents treating his darling Josie in such a way.

"Pleased to meet you, sir. You can call me Alex. I'm staying at the Blythe-Lacroix household for the holidays. You see, my family hasn't completely situated in Ottawa, their new permanent residence."

"If you don't want to stay with...such people, I'm sure we could find room for you in our humble abode," Mr. Pye remarked, looking upon Sebastian and Hazel with disdain.

Alex raised his eyebrow, knowing what they were referring to, but desperately wanting to be wrong. How could anyone hate such good and hospitable people, regardless of their color or origin? "I'm not sure I comprehend."

"Well, they're colored folk," he half spat, giving the family a dirty look. Josie half wished she was part of that familial circle, the Cuthberts and the Blythe-Lacroixs. The two families had grown ever closer over the years, and the connection between any two of the members of that group was undeniably affectionate. Anne and Mrs. Lacroix had a closer bond than she had with her mother these days, and it truly pained her.

"I don't see the problem. The Lacroixs are wonderful people," Alex said more forcefully, stepping away. Josie exhaled tiredly and massaged her temples.

"Alexander, I think Gilbert and Anne are leaving. I'll... talk to you later," she sighed, wishing she could go with him, but also knowing that it was crucial for her to face her problems.

"Okay, Jo. You can ask for me anytime, darling." He brought her small and delicate hands up to his lips and brushed her knuckles before setting them down again. Her mother gasped at the impropriety of the touching, especially after Josie had already 'sullied her reputation', but Josie didn't care. Everything seemed to fade to black when her Alexander was around.

Josie blushed a bright pink and fluttered her buzzing fingers as he left. What she wouldn't have given to spend the holidays with him!

__

On the way back to Green Gables, Anne had(not so subtly) chosen to go back on the carriage with Gilbert on it, claiming she wanted to play with Delphine. It was half true; she did adore Delphine.

Gilbert watched with love as Anne bounced the eleven month old on her lap, cooing softly at the child. Her blue eyes overflowed with care as Delphine reached out to grab one of her long red locks of hair. Anne kissed the baby on her nose and tickled her gently, beaming as Delphine's infectious laughter touched her heart.

With a mischievous glint in her eyes, Anne discretely leaned over to Gilbert, whispering sultrily, "I want one of these some day."

Gilbert chuckled heartily, shaking his head from side to side. "Temptress," he laughed softly, brushing her hand tenderly. "Lucky for you, I want an entire army of these some day. All I have to do is get my darling future wife to agree."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, dear. There's still the matter of telling the others and waiting for me to graduate. And I fully expect a ring because I know you have it. Once I put it on, I'm sure I'll never want to take it off. Also, though I would never dream of using you, it might be nice to stick it to that Royal Gardner."

He laughed and suppressed the urge to kiss her again. "I'm counting on it," he said earnestly, taking Delphine from her as an excuse to touch her hand lightly. She smiled at the gesture and looking back on herself last summer as completely foolish. 

How on Earth could I have ever doubted how much I really loved him?

___________________

The next day, Anne woke up, sure that the past days had been but a surreal dream. She was still processing the fact that Gilbert Blythe loved her, and now he wanted to marry her! She felt like she was floating on a cloud. On top of that, it was Christmas, and she had bought what she hoped was a heavenly present for him.

After she got dressed, she floated over to her window and peering her head out to graze Snow Queen's branches. She caught a white flower in her cupped hand just as it detached from the tree and started floating towards the ground.

Just as it had landed in her palm, a knock resounded on her bedroom door. Setting it down on her vanity, she opened the door, and Diana all but attacked her.

"Oh Anne, he was sick? Typhoid? You poor dears!" She embraced her bosom friend tightly, and Anne froze in shock. After a moment, she reciprocated with a small chortle.

"It turns out that he had sent a letter, but it got lost in the mail," Anne explained, taking Diana's hand and leading her over to sit on her bed.

"I knew it," Diana declared with a confident grin. "Gilbert Blythe would never do anything that would hurt you on purpose. That man is dead gone over you."

Anne giggled sweetly. She absolutely couldn't wait to tell Diana.

"Diana, I'm going to tell you something in the strictest confidence. Do you swear not to utter it to a soul?" she asked, her tone going hushed and intense all of a sudden.

Diana frowned and nodded frantically, moving closer to Anne so she could whisper. "Do tell, Anne!"

Anne fiddled with her skirt nervously before starting, "When Gilbert was in horrendous condition, we didn't know whether he was going to pull through the ordeal. I think it made us both have an epiphany. Our life together is finite, and when we both want something so desperately that will only improve our life, why should we wait? Why should we deny ourselves of that joy? With that in mind," Anne sucked in a breath before saying slowly, "Gilbert...asked me to marry him. As you may have guessed, I... I said yes. Not now, but after Queens or possibly Redmond if I get the scholarship."

Diana let the news sink in for a moment. Anne's eyes were widened anxiously as she waited for her response.

"Anne... that's wonderful!" Diana cried joyously, hugging her once more. "How I long to have the love you and Gilbert do."

"Oh Diana, we are young yet! There are many men who are vying for your love. Surely one of them might capture your heart."

"It's not about my heart, it's about my parents' heart," Diana grumbled with a roll of her eyes. "But I'm not about to spoil your happy day with my troublesome losses in love. Shall we go downstairs and head to the Gillis' to find Ruby?"

"Oh, this is turning out to be the most splendorous day."


	33. Sparks Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert get lectured about the rules of propriety and then proceed to break every single one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone say thank you to me for giving you a much larger chapter than usual :)

**_Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile_ **

After Anne had gotten back from romping about with her friends for an hour, exhilarated with the joy of finally returning to Green Gables for two glorious weeks, her spark was abruptly stomped out when an apologetic Marilla greeted her when she got back.

“I tried to reign her in. I really did,” Marilla sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “But no, she wouldn’t hear of it! Apparently, it’s her civil duty to lecture every couple in town, especially ones ‘so dear to her heart’.! I think after you two, she’s heading to the Pyes.”

Anne was thoroughly perplexed at her words. “Marilla, what are you-”

Her question answered itself when she saw Rachel Lynde sitting in their parlor, sipping tea and making courteous small talk with her beau. Gilbert had also settled on a couch across from Rachel, looking extremely uncomfortable. He seemed to lighten when he saw Anne arrive, eyes brightened from the fresh air, red hair in a windswept halo around her head, and dress filthy from traipsing near the Lake of Shining Waters with Diana and Ruby. How she could look like she’d rolled around in mud all day and he could still be so delighted to see her, she had no idea.

With a quizzical expression, she moved to sit right next to him, but the older woman tutted disapprovingly. Rolling her eyes, she sat on another chair, smiling stiffly to be polite. She poured herself some water and sipped it slowly, keeping a watchful eye on Rachel Lynde.

“Anne, Gilbert,” Rachel began, clasping her hands in her lap with a seemingly innocuous smile. “I hope you’re having a merry Christmas. I hold you two children so very dear to my heart. I was overjoyed to hear of your courtship four months ago, truly I was. You are a wonderful couple, and it is a shame that you have to stay so far apart for a large portion of the year. It does, however, give me a chance to have this very important talk with you before you stray too far into sin.”

Anne almost choked on her water, spitting it back out with a cough. “Sin?” she spluttered, wiping her mouth frantically.

“There, there, dear,” Rachel comforted, as if her words would do anything to stop Anne’s coughing fit. “I just have to discuss some things with the two of you to preserve your standing as moral citizens of Avonlea! You’re young yet, so you don’t know what truly tempting yet forbidden pleasures await you later in life. Suffice to say, your relationship should remain chaste and purely emotional until I see you walk down the aisle in the future, Anne.”

Rachel ended her sentence with an emphatic nod. Anne exchanged a wry and humorous look with Gilbert. They were past the point of no return now; they could barely keep their hands off each other.

Both of them flashed to the moment where Gilbert, in a delirious haze of sickness, had expressed his intent to marry her. Oh, it sent such a sweet thrill through her. She’d always wished for a most romantical proposal(and little did she know, Gilbert intended to give it to her), but this one was something straight out of her very own love story!

Gilbert Blythe. By this time in four years, she’d be married to Gilbert Blythe The thought made her feel as if she was floating in the air, the only thing keeping her grounded his loving gaze. Someday, she’d have her own parlor like this, have her very own children to give this lecture to, but maybe not quite so conservative about it.

“Could you...clarify?” Anne asked with a subtle smirk, glancing at a trying-not-to-laugh Gilbert. “What exactly does ‘chaste’ mean to you, Mrs. Lynde?”

“Of course you must not touch. If you are to make contact, it should be as proper couples do, with Anne on your arm, Gilbert. Any other touches are strictly forbidden. I know two responsible children like yourselves don’t have anything to worry about,” Rachel brushed off.

Anne couldn’t help but suppress a laugh by innocently biting her sweet pink lips in a way that made Gilbert want to do truly sinful things to her. He kind of wanted to find out what Mrs. Lynde’s reaction would be if he strode to where she was sitting and took her delicate milky white face in his hands and kissed every part of her face, then her neck, and down…

He shook the thoughts out of his head. He would get to do all of that(with her consent, of course) after they were married.

“Of course. I would never dream of dishonoring our uh, sacred relationship,” Gilbert said solemnly, looking at Anne with an amused smirk.

His ardent gaze sent a thrill throughout her body. It had been too long since she’d really kissed him. God was probably berating her for thinking of such improper things while Mrs. Lynde was on a tangent about lack of contact, but she did not care. Part of her wanted to steal Gilbert away right then, or better yet, race over there and take him in her arms just to get a rise out of their lecturer.

“I concur,” Anne said succinctly, lest she’d give in to her temptation to laugh at Mrs. Lynde’s notion. If touching was a sin, she and Gilbert were destined for hell a long time ago. “Is that it then?”

“Not quite,” Rachel responded as Marilla sighed wearily from the corner. “Now that you are courting, you shall need a chaperone at all times. In the house, you should sit in the parlor with at least one cushion’s space between you. When you take a stroll, you should take the common paths through town, have a chaperone, and don’t stray too far off the path to preserve your good standing in society.”

Anne wondered whether she could bribe Jerry to chaperone for them and not pay attention or meet them back at the beginning of the path. Maybe she could pull a Tillie and “accidentally” trip on her skirt a couple times while they walked. It would be believable enough; she still wasn’t completely graceful in them.

Anne nodded sagely, stealing a glance at Gilbert. She silently pleaded with him to try and exit the conversation. It was regrettable, but it was true: his words would be taken more seriously than hers in this society.

“Perhaps we could take a stroll now, if it is agreeable with Anne. It’s a pleasant afternoon for our usually cold Decembers,” Gilbert suggested purposefully, turning towards Marilla to ask for her permission.

“I agree; It would be treacherous to waste away such a lovely day,” Anne added in quick succession, eager to get out of the situation and possibly into Gilbert’s warm embrace.”We could ask Jerry to accompany us.”

“That’s the spirit,” Rachel said happily, pleased that her talk had seemingly gotten through to them. “You’d best get going. It is 11:00 already, and I expect you’ll want to return to your houses for lunch by noon.”

“You’re right as always, Mrs. Lynde,” Anne said hurriedly, standing up and all but dashing out the door, followed by Gilbert who stopped to graciously “thank” Mrs. Lynde for her “help.”

“Jerry, name your price,” Anne announced, storming into the barn like she owned it(in a way, she did).

“Quel?” Jerry looked up, his brow furrowed with bafflement.

“What do I have to give you to pretend like you’re going to chaperone Gilbert and I?”

Jerry grinned at his surrogate sister with glee. She didn’t know a thing about business, and if he was a shrewder man, he would’ve extorted the hell out of her offer.

“I want a batch of blueberry scones...two of them, to share with my family,” he declared with a devilish smile, throwing aside his hay fork with a clatter.

“Done!” she agreed immediately. “Now, just pretend like you’re casually strolling behind us until we’re out of sight.”

After a minute, they had finally turned a bend that was out of Mrs. Lynde’s sight line, Jerry sat down on a rock and opened a book as they continued forward, headed for Lovers’ Lane.

“Finally,” Anne groaned with a huff. “I thought we’d never escape that.”

She extended her hand to Gilbert expectantly.

“Oh, I don’t know, Anne. I wouldn’t want to fall too far into sin,” he said innocently, showing off that smug adorable smirk of his.

She shoved him playfully, laughing despite herself. “Take my hand, you silly boy, or so help me I will march up to Mrs. Lynde and tell her all of the truly forbidden things you’ve bestowed on me.”

“Oh, and what’s that?” He raised an eyebrow as if he didn’t remember each moment as if it was yesterday. “The sickness must have addled my brain the day before yesterday. I don’t think I remember too clearly. I think you’d better show me, if you don’t mind.”

Her breath caught in her throat at his suggestive words, looking up at his face shyly. He was being a tease today. Anne was witty and sharp, but she never did know how to subtly flirt the way he did. She was vivacious and passionate, but never a flirt. She was much too direct for that. 

“You’re a fool,” she whispered, though her hand continued a steady trajectory up from her side.

It hesitated, coming to land on the side of his smoothly shaven face, tracing his sharp jawline with a finger. Her hand slid down to trace the strong shape of his back and shoulders, closing her eyes to drink him in. His eyes landed on her face, her brow creased in concentration and bottom lip trapped beneath her teeth.

“Its been two years since you returned home, yet your shape hasn’t gotten any less defined. It’s as if you’re a storybook prince, my Gil,” she whispered with a soft giggle, leaning in to rest her cheek against his chest. His arms came to wrap around her instinctively, stroking her red hair with a deep chuckle. It was soothing, how she could feel the steady beat of his heart. How close she had come to never hearing it again!

“No magic, just pushups,” he denied, his knuckle coming up to graze her cheek affectionately. “It started as a way to perhaps get your attention, and I continued because I know how you… appreciate my figure…”

“Gilbert Blythe, do not tell me you’ve been taking time out of your schoolwork for trivialities such as pushups to please me!” she reprimanded sharply, stepping out of his embrace to frown at him disapprovingly.

“I should stop living in that case, Anne-girl. Everything… I do… is for you,” he replied, taking time in between each word to lean down and pepper kisses from her ear down her neck.

“Oh?” she spluttered out breathily, knowing if she said anything else it would come out utterly addled.

“Every breath I take… is for you,” he continued, pulling away to sweep his hands through the red hair he adored so much. Anne felt positively lightheaded at his every word.

“You are...my sole reason for existence. I was made for no other reason...than to love you,” he finished simply, cupping her face in one hand.

He gazed down at her with smoldering intensity, his hazel eyes tender with affection. He raised his other arm to sweep a wave of hair behind her ear. Anne always looked utterly showstopping but with her hair down;he was sure she was a reincarnation of Venus. She was flushed pink from a combination of the chill and his salacious words. He had promised to make her blush in person, after all. He couldn’t fathom how it was possible for one girl to be this beautiful and moreover, his.

“May I-may I kiss you?” he said, throat dry as the Sahara. She nodded frantically.

“I’d like that very much, thank you,” she responded, as if it was a business deal and not the most intimate experience of her almost 17 years on Earth. Her tone betrayed her, strained with the most improper kinds of longing. Slowly, almost painfully so, they gravitated towards each other. Finally, like an explosion of the brightest fireworks, their lips met, and it felt like the crashing of celestial bodies. They found heaven in the other’s lips.

She wasn’t sure how long they had stood there, arms running up and down the others’ body to try and take in every inch of the moment, lips moving insistently, but by the time he had stepped away, it could have been tomorrow and she wouldn’t have cared.

The first thing that fell out of her mouth was, “I love you.”

“And I you, my faerie queen,” he responded as if it was instinct, pressing a long kiss to her forehead.

“Gil?” she uttered softly, taking his hand and stringing him along the path.

“Yes?” he hummed, in a state of utter bliss.

“How are we going to tell our family and worse, Avonlea? I am perfectly incandescently happy with you, but I fear the town will talk if we are engaged with three years until you finish your education. The town might be scandalized that you didn’t ask Marilla before we decided on our own,” she prompted nervously, her grip on his hand getting subconsciously tighter. He squeezed hers in response, brushing their interlocked hands on his lips.

Gilbert didn’t tell her the true purpose he was at Green Gables just then. He recalled that morning. __

_After Anne was safely out of the house(Gilbert had deviously employed Diana to do the job), the boy showed up in his Sunday best, hat in hand and on the Cuthberts’ front porch. Sebastian had curiously queried the purpose of the suit for ‘just a trip to Green Gables’ with a growing grin._

_“Nothing that concerns you,” he had barbed, but just as he left the house, he saw Sebastian twirling his daughter around and dancing joyfully._

_Now, here he was, heart on his sleeve and ready to beg on his knees if that’s what it took to win Marilla’s approval. The woman had been a supportive matriarchal figure to him ever since he had returned to Avonlea, but he needed to assure her that nothing would take place until they both had income coming in._

_Of course, Anne had already agreed, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. She could make her own assumptions. It wasn’t a fib, just a lie of omission._

_She opened the door with a gracious smile, her eyebrows raising. “Gilbert! I wasn’t expecting you, was I? Well, Anne’s out with her friends, and she’ll be back in about-”_

_“It isn’t Anne I’m hoping to speak to today,” he said earnestly, laughing nervously and presenting her with a bouquet of fresh flowers, hoping she didn’t notice his clammy hands._

_“These are beautiful, Gilbert. Come in, let me get you some lemonade.” She stepped aside to usher him in and helped him with his coat. He followed after her slowly, his hands wringing with anxiety. After pouring him a glass of lemonade, he sat down across from her in the parlor, starting with a deep breath in._

_“Now, what was it you wanted to speak to me about?” she asked, having a feeling that she knew from his expression and the way he had carried himself coming in. She and his father had talked about it many times, but it had never happened._

_“Marilla, I respect you and your wishes, so I thought it imperative to tell you before I act on my intentions with...Anne,” he explained. He took a slip of the lemonade to moisten his parched throat. “I finish medical school in three and a half years. Even then, my income will be middle class at best, and I won’t have all the luxuries I aim to give her in the future, but it will be satisfactory enough for a fulfilling life. Anne will be twenty and probably already one of the most beloved teachers PEI has ever seen.”_

_“That she will be,” Marilla agreed with subtle smile and kind eyes, wanting to see where he went with it. In this moment, seeing him flustered and humbled on the topic of her daughter, she was glad John Blythe had married that other woman. If he hadn’t, she’d never have adopted Anne, and Anne would’ve never had the chance to meet someone like Gilbert Blythe, someone who worshipped the very ground she walked on._

_“And I have to let you know that… I love her, Marilla. I love her more than I thought it was possible to love someone, more than my own life. It makes me the happiest man in the world to say that she loves me too. And I’m sure, I have been sure since the very first time I met her, that she’s the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with. So I’m humbly beseeching you, please, will you grant me permission to ask her to marry me? Not to get married immediately-we have too much education left for that- but as a promise to each other for the rest of our lives.”_

_She had contemplated it for a moment. “You and the Lacroixs are already like family to us. It would be my pleasure to call you my son in law, Gilbert. ”_

“Well, we are waiting until our three years is up. You’ll be at least 20 by the time any wedding takes place, which is completely ordinary. Is it so horrendous for two people, completely and utterly fulfilled with each other, wanting to be promised to each other because of no other reason than true love?”

“But the town doesn’t know that. They’ll assume something ribald and untoward has transpired, like a shotgun wedding or-”

Gilbert stopped her before she could spiral too far into her imagination. It was one of the things he loved best about her, but sometimes too much of it could lead her astray.

“But nothing untoward has happened, has it? If they have an ounce of sense in their bodies, they’ll know that I haven’t had a proper moment with you for two and a half months,” He attempted to separate her crossed arms and take one in his hand. He added with a flirtatious smile, “Though I could certainly arrange for a shotgun wedding, though it probably wouldn’t requalify our reputations.”

She laughed and chastised him for his vulgarity, though she still looked flummoxed. Gilbert had a brilliant idea, knowing how to qualify her reputation and make the proposal seem unplanned. He stopped to take her hands, one clasped in each of his. He bent his head to kiss away the wrinkled furrow in her brow.

“Why don’t you leave that to me?” he suggested, smiling faintly at the plan he had concocted. It would be perfect(as long as she hadn’t changed her mind by then, that is).

“Are you positively sure?”

He nodded, adoration evident in his smile and his eyes. What a fortunate man he was to have this beautiful wood nymph beside him, December winds nipping her nose and cheeks with bright red to rival her hair. But her looks took a backseat to her personality. His passionate, intelligent, and just Anne was surely a force to be reckoned with.

“Gilbert Blythe, please stop looking at me like that, or I will be forced to kiss you again, and we came out here to talk,” Anne ordered, threading their hands together and walking along the path surrounded by bare branches and pine scented conifers.

“Alright, then,” he laughed, leaving her hand to pull her close by the waist. “Is this okay?”

“Not according to Rachel Lynde, but its fine by me,” she giggled lovingly, bringing up the old fashioned lecture again. “So, what did you get me for Christmas?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he jibed, poking her childishly. “Maybe I didn’t get you anything.”

“I don’t mind,” she shrugged casually, not the slightest affected. “Having you here with me for the next one week and six days is more than enough. That being said, you have a perfect track record with presents, so I highly doubt it.”

“A perfect woman deserves only the best of gifts,” he explained with a warm smile.

“I didn’t know you were mailing Winifred a present,” she snorted monotonously, crossing her arms in false indignation.

“Winifred is a fine woman, but she possesses nothing next to the beautiful nymph beside me,” he reminded her yet again. How it pained him to see her berate herself next to other women! It was fortuitous that they were together now, for he’d worship her every single day until she’d acknowledge her own beauty, and then he’d love her some more.

“And they say I’m the poetic one!”


	34. Jump Then Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consoling melancholy, Christmas dinner at the Cuthberts and the Pyes, and Anne finally gets her romantical proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the relatively large chapter makes up for the huge wait!

**_Well I like the way your hair falls in your face  
You got the keys to me I love each freckle on your face, oh,  
I've never been so wrapped up,  
Honey, I like the way you're everything I've ever wanted_ **

That night, Marilla had invited the Blythe-Lacroixs over for Christmas dinner and the exchange of presents. She had offered Alexander a place at their table, but he had promised Josie that he would accompany her. It was polite to have dinner with her parents.

Anne flitted around, straightening things that were already prim and proper, cleaning things that were polished thoroughly already, volunteering to help Marilla finish up the cooking. All of this to distract from something else that was weighing on her. Ever since she had gotten back from her stroll, she had seen the barn and realized something disheartening.

This was her first Christmas at Green Gables since her beloved Matthew had passed.

Times like these, it pained her to an unfathomable extent. She wouldn’t be able to grasp his warm hands when saying rare words of grace, she wouldn’t be able to play-fight with him in the barn, she wouldn’t be able to wrap him in her arms when he got her the most magnificent present with such humility, not realizing how perfectly happy she was with him.

“Anne, stop your idling. I don’t know what you’re so worked up about,” Marilla said sharply, though she felt the impact of the loss on these past days also. She just didn’t want to weigh her darling Anne down with the realization, not occurring to her that Anne might feel the same

“Me, idling? Oh no, Marilla. I’m just… uh, trying to recall the last time we thoroughly cleaned the house,” she covered up, laughing nervously. “It’s been quite an age, has it not?”

“Its been a week,” Marilla responded dryly, walking out from the kitchen in one of her nicer violet dresses. Not anywhere close to Anne’s most non-serviceable bottle green colored dress with puffed sleeves and plenty of ruffles, but embellished enough for Christmas. “What’s afflicting you, child?”

“I don’t want to weigh you down with my melancholia,” Anne demurred, sitting down on the couch with a gentle plop.

“Fiddlesticks! You’ll tell me what it is, and we’ll figure whatever it is out!” Marilla objected, sitting beside her. Her tone was reprimanding, yet her hand floated to rest on Anne’s comfortingly. When Anne looked up from where her eyes were fixed intently on the folds in her skirt, Marilla could see the remnants of tears in streaks down her freckled cheeks.

“It occurred to me this morning,” she hiccuped, wiping her streaming eyes in vain. “That today is the first Christmas without… without Matthew.”

She buried her face in her hands, trying to hide her anguish for fear of upsetting Marilla also.

“Oh Anne,” Marilla sighed, taking the girl in her arms. She felt the hot pinpricks of tears in her eyes too, yet she brushed them away. “My strong girl. You’ll be okay now. He’s with us still. He’s looking down upon you right now with such pride. He loved you more than anything, and he wouldn’t want you to ruin your Christmas with such thoughts.”

Anne clung to Marilla and pondered over how utterly fortunate she had been to receive such a family. She’d endure her past horrors a thousand times over before forsaking this community of loving people around her.

Anne tightened her grip on Marilla for a minute before composing herself as they heard the sound of laughter up the walk. Gilbert, Sebastian, Hazel, Elijah, and Delphine must have arrived! Not two minutes later, three knocks resounded on the door.

Anne, her mood slowly transforming when she saw Gilbert’s blissfully unaware face through the window, shot up immediately to go greet them with a truly joyful smile.

“Dear Lacroixs!” she greeted, hugging each one of them to ensure that they didn’t see the puffy mess that her eyes had become. It would wear off in a couple minutes. “And of course, my dear Gilbert,” she added, ushering them in. She gestured to let Gilbert in the through the door, but he stopped, peering at her with a furrowed brow, downturned lips, and perturbed hazel eyes.

“You’ve been crying,” he noticed, his eyes flooding with care.

“Are you going to ask me if I’ve been chopping onions?” she jibed with a smile that crumpled into a grimace, using humor to distract from the subject at hand. He wasn’t fooled, of course.

He laughed softly, but his fingers urged to touch her, twitching with the desire to wipe away the remaining moisture of tears on her enchanting face. “That was fair game,” he granted with an accepting chuckle. “But I’m more concerned about why you were weeping anyways, Anne-girl.”

“Oh, just some of the irksome parts of life. I’ll explain later. For now…” Her eyes flitted around to scan the perimeter before leaning upwards and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Let’s just be joyous.”

“You’re tempting fate, huh?” he laughed, walking inside the house alongside her.

“What am I if not an adventurer, Gil?” she responded dramatically, his infectious grin making her laugh. The two were blissfully unaware of Marilla, Hazel, Elijah, (and most of all) Sebastian beaming at the interaction(which they had seen, if not heard, most all of it). Marilla didn’t care for rules of propriety as strictly as her best friend did, and it warmed her heart to see the adoring-and sometimes, downright sinful-glances they gave each other. It reminded her of her own tragical romance back in her youth.

“Anne, why don’t you show Gilbert Prejudice’s new calf while I put the finishing touches on?” Marilla suggested with a knowing smile, gesturing to the door.

Anne nodded enthusiastically, taking his hand and leading him out of the door, rambling about something of her imaginations while Gilbert looked at her fondly and interjected to propose something or the other every few seconds.

“I’ll bet my last dollar that wedding bells will be ringing by the time ‘Gil’ is out of school,” Elijah commented with a throaty chuckle.

Sebastian snorted and let out a hearty laugh. “I’m just glad they got over all that denial.”

“I was afraid that she was growing too fast, but...I trust her. Almost seventeen, where did time go?” Marilla sighed in an uncharacteristic fashion. She imagined sewing Anne a wedding dress, layers and folds of pure white that would billow out from her small figure. She imagined Anne and Gilbert, aged and gray and in their own house(by the sea, knowing her daughter), a little red headed girl with a flapping jaw of their own.

Hazel, with an unusual tenderness in her eyes, responded quietly. “I know what you mean. Sebastian left us at 16… next I saw him he was 21. The time after that, he comes along with a skinny white boy in tow!”

“Hey, it’s only okay when I say that!” Sebastian pouted childishly. He reached out to swipe a fingerful of frosting off the cake, but his mother tutted in disapproval and smacked his hand with a nearby wooden spoon.

Marilla sighed and peered out the window to see her daughter dragging Gilbert along blissfully. She slipped on a wet patch of mud, and his arms went out instantly, catching her and slowly easing her back up. She laughed about it and kissed her beau’s cheek before taking his hand with a mischievous glimmer in her eye and running to the barn.

Marilla quickly looked away with a shudder. She trusted Anne not to stray too far behind kisses, but that still didn’t mean she wanted to be prey to that sight.

Sebastian smiled, a tint of melancholy in his tone. His brother was grown up. “Gilbert’s finally admitted he’s gone on a girl. He’s a man now.”

________________

Alexander gulped once, swallowing his anxiousness, before knocking on the Pyes’ door and stepping back, a bouquet in hand. After the shuffling of feet from indoors, a maid uniformed woman with kind eyes and a buxom figure opened the door.

“Uh, merry Christmas,” he greeted with what he hoped was a winning smile. “I’m here for dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Pye?”

“May I ask who’s calling?” she asked politely.

“Alex. Alexander Whitmore.” She slipped inside the house for a moment, and he heard voices. Finally, she returned and guided him into the sitting room, and he swore he’d died and gone to heaven.

The family stood up to be polite as he arrived, but he barely paid attention to that.

Richard and Lucille Pye were put together as always, but sitting across from them rather unhappily was Josie, dressed in something slightly more formal than usual. Her shapely frame was (in his opinion, perfectly) wearing a plain white top with ballooned sleeves, lace decorating the edges. From her elegant waist, a long and silky cerulean skirt that complimented her eyes flowed out with lace embroidery in small spirals, collecting in a flower shaped puddle at her feet.

She looked as if she was an absolute angel. In the candlelight, her curls flickered like pure gold, and her blue eyes danced. She was radiant, her skin almost glowing.

He snapped out of the trance when he heard his sweetheart clearing her throat with an amused sort of half-smirk. She winked innocently, puckering her lips when her parents’ attention was diverted. Oh, she knew the effect she had on him, the sly little seductress, he thought to himself. He straightened and smiled graciously.

“Good evening, sir, ma’am. Merry Christmas.” He presented the older woman with the flowers. “These are for your beautiful household. Thank you for inviting me.”

“Please, call me Richard,” the patriarch insisted, standing up to shake his hand.

“And I’m Lucille,” his wife said, bowing her head gracefully. “It’s a pleasure. I’m sure your presence will be a great…er, improvement to our dearest Josie.”

Josie bowed her head to hide the fierce red in her cheeks. It was from equal parts humiliation and ire. That translated directly to your status will improve her reputation.

“Well, she’s rather perfect with or without me, wouldn’t you say?” he responded, glancing back at her with eyes that had more care than her parents had showed the past year. It was a disagreement and a well deserved compliment disguised a joke as to not be disrespectful.

Her parents had no response to that, just nodding stiffly. “Ah, well, would you care to join us for a drink before dinner?” Richard invited with a falsified smile, inviting him to sit in a chair.

“It would be a pleasure, s- er, Richard,” he agreed, sitting down in the chair conveniently next to Josie, but not close enough to be qualified as improper.

When her mother had gone away for a moment to chide their cook, Maria, to work faster, and her father had gone to the corner of the room to fetch them both a drink, he turned to her and spoke quietly.

“You look like an absolute vision,” he breathed, discreetly taking her hand and squeezing it once before gently placing it by her side again.

“You didn’t have to come. This is like sitting in literal hell.”

“Sitting in hell would be a privilege if it was with you,” he said automatically, winking at her with absolutely no polish over the more scandalous sentiments.

“Do you feel the need to make me blush every moment of every day?” she quizzed sarcastically, eyes sparkling with concealed mirth and adoration.

“I just want to make sure you know how much I lo-care about you. I don’t qualify any silly things your parents have to say about you. I do respect them as people, but I adore you the most, Jo. My pursuit of your heart is relentless,” he assured with a lopsided grin, wanting nothing more than to steal her away.

He hoped that she didn’t notice his slip up. He had this tendency to fall hard and fast for people, and he didn’t want to scare her off. For all he knew, she was still vulnerable about the past summer. She didn’t need another burden on top of her life’s struggles.

“You are… something else,” she said incredulously. She posed it as a jibe, but there was a layer of awe and… another thing, something familiar to him yet foreign to her. He couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was. It was warm, golden, like pure rays of summer sun washing over a meadow after years of torrential rain.

It was the thinly veiled first flickers of real love.

___________________

The Blythe-Lacroixs and the Cuthberts were sitting around the fireplace exchanging presents. Everyone had gotten theirs(Anne refused to let go of the absolutely gorgeous satin dress Marilla had indulged her with, and Gilbert was almost as in love with the elegant sent of ornate fountain pens that Anne had picked out as he was with his sweetheart), but Gilbert was yet to give his to Anne.

“I understand Gilbert has something to give Anne,” Sebastian implied sneakily, smirking like the devil. He knew the exact reason why Gilbert was so eager to go last.

“There’s two,” he laughed, standing up and facing her. The first, he pulled from underneath the tree. It was a simply wrapped rectangle with a perfectly tied cherry ribbon. Excitedly, she tore open the ribbon and immediately squealed with delight. She threw her arms around him in jubilation.

“It’s absolutely flawless,” she gushed, hugging it close to her chest. In her arms was a book, a journal specifically. It was leather bound with gold engravings and designs spiraling the cover. On the inside, he had scrawled a small note.

_My most loved Anne,_

_You should know that the very moment I fell in love with you completely and wholly was when I saw your extravagant recitation that first day we met. Your imagination, the passion only you could carry just so, the way your eyes danced in the sun and your hair shone as you read as if you were that lonely fisherman._

_Yes, fifteen year old Gilbert was smitten and didn’t know how to admit it, but he carried out the proper advances his father taught him like a gentleman. But when a woman like you comes along and smashes every one of society’s standards, I had no choice but to take an unconventional route, didn’t I?_

_As I was saying, your imagination is one of the things I love best about you. I hope this journal inspires you to cultivate it further. I first saw it in a shop in Toronto, and it reminded me of you instantly. Write as many stories and poems as your heart desires and read me every single one. I love you dearly, faerie queen._

_With all that I am,_

_Gilbert Blythe_

Suddenly, his face grew more serious, and he took the book from her hands(noting her shining grin) and set it down on the chair. He took each of her hands in his.

“What’s this all about…?” she asked, her auburn brow furrowing in adorable ignorance.

“For all the teasing I endure about my being gone over you since the first day, I don’t think I tell you enough that it is true. Ever since you bashed me over the head with that slate-”

“Which was completely deserved,” Anne cut in with a triumphant smile. He chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“-which was completely deserved,” he said to appease her with an acknowledging nod. “You were the one I wanted to spend forever with, even if I didn’t quite realize it. You, and you alone, could ever possess control over my heart, my fiery, passionate, just Carrots. You’ve pushed me to become the best person I can, and frankly… I couldn’t imagine anyone else challenging me for the rest of my life, nor do I want to. No one will ever hold my heart the way you do, and when I look at this beautiful family we have, I see a reflection of the future we might have together.”

By now, her eyes were welling up, seeing where it was going. She stood up, wanting nothing more than to tell him ‘yes’ right that second. Her want for a romantical proposal took over, however, and she wanted to listen to the rest of his words.

“I promise you, I will always treat you with the love and devotion you deserve. You’ll be my lifemate, my equal, and partner in crime through everything, my sweet girl. As your Mr. Darcy himself said most eloquently, though it could never compare to what I feel for you, “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”” He paused right there, gauging her reaction

She was biting her bottom lip to hold in a sob of unadulterated joy and smiling at him earnestly, reaching out to grip his hands with frightening intensity.

“Because I do, my Anne with an E, and every second more so. I will every moment until the day I die. Please, promise me a future together. I can’t see anyone but you growing older by my side. I love you in ways that I didn’t even know existed before you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, came into my life and took over my heart like the warrior queen of a great conquest.”

She was nodding frantically, but still he continued. Slowly, as he spoke, pulled a small glinting something out of his pocket and eased down to one knee, gently taking her left hand, kissing it, poising the ring over her fourth finger.

“I’ve come to understand love with you. It isn’t so hopeless-rather very hopeful- and it certainly isn’t dramatic and tragical. Love is the lull of a lullaby the moment before you slip into a sleep of only good dreams. Warmth and contentment, feeling utterly fulfilled around the other. The world could burn and you wouldn’t care. As long as they remained. Its also the moment a firework explodes. Passionate, beautiful, awe inspiring. I feel all this and more with you, Anne-girl. Ever since my father passed, all along, you were my first family.”

“Gilbert,” she whispered shakily, a watery smile on her face. “Gil… I-” She couldn’t force out the words. Even someone as poetic as her couldn’t gauge the emotion in this moment. There was no way to describe it other than in two short and not at all flowery words, so simple yet so complex in meaning. It seemed unattainable, yet here it was, presenting itself to her in its brightest form: true love.

“This...this was my mother’s ring. I considered long ago giving it to someone else, but I could never. You are the owner of every inch of my heart, and I intend on being with you for the rest of my life. I know you’ll always be ‘the Bride of Adventure’ and ‘a relentless thorn in the side of those who refuse to amend the status quo’, but my most fervent hope is that you’ll allow me to be there by your side while you change the world, faerie queen. Would you do this undeserving cad a favor and marry him?”

He was extremely out of breath(considering his past condition) after that speech, but it was worth it to see her reaction.

“Nothing in this dear old world could possibly make me more joyous,” she whispered quietly, her eyes glassy with tears of joy. She had already said it once in the hospital, but seeing her saying yes to his actual proposal took the breath out of his lungs. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert had agreed to love him for eternity. With an almost disbelieving dopey grin on his face, he slipped the small emerald and gold ring onto her finger, and it was a near perfect fit.

“Yes, of course!” she exclaimed, louder this time. She laughed and all but pounded upon Gilbert with the intention of embracing him, but he was caught off guard they both tumbled to the floor in a mess of limbs.

“My word, are you alright?” Marilla called with urgency, blinking away the residue of tears from her eyes at the boy’s words. Every day that went by, she felt more fortunate to have the family she had around her.

Anne and Gilbert sat up wordlessly and looked at each other before bursting into fits of laughter.

“I’m euphoric, Marilla,” Anne laughed, standing up and spreading her arms wide. She indulged herself and squealed quietly, hugging her mother tightly. She ran over to each and every person in the room, hugging them and kissing them on the cheek in pure exhilaration.

“Oh, and you!”

She addressed Gilbert with all the love in the world, her pearl eyes sparkling with adulation. Not caring for notions of propriety at such a momentous occasion, she kissed him briefly and threw her arms around him. He enveloped her in a warm hug, pressing her close and breathing her familiar scent in: old books and wildflowers. In his ear, she whispered, “I love you, Gil.”

From then until the day he died, he would always reply, “I love you too.”

____________________

“Ruby,” Anne squealed the next day, bounding over to her most romantical friend’s house. Her left hand was strategically clasped in her right, hiding the glint of the emerald just so. “Ruby, follow me to the old story club. Just trust me!”

Diana trailed behind her bosom friend, nodding enthusiastically and gesturing for Ruby to follow them. Ruby looked hesitantly at the washing board, but threw off the apron to reveal a warm white coat, picked up her lilac skirts, and flounced off after them, undoing the intricate updo in favor of letting her tight golden waves loose and sporting the more girlish look of her past.

Soon enough, Anne had coaxed all of her dearest friends outside, marching over to the ruins of the story club with a troupe of minorly perplexed and majorly invested women following her. Diana and Josie walked behind her with arch smiles, being the only ones privy to the knowledge of Anne’s new qualification in her gargantuan list of accomplishments: fiancee of Gilbert Blythe.

Finally, they came to a halt in the middle of the Haunted Woods, watching as Anne put both her hands behind her back innocently and turned to face them.

“Anne, I love you dearly, but I don’t understand why you’ve brought us here,” Ruby said, her bottom lip protruding in confusion.

“Girls, I’ve led you here, to this sacred place. For those of you who haven’t yet been introduced to this lovely sight, this is Diana’s, Cole’s, Ruby’s, and my story club.” She paused for dramatic effect, letting it sink in for Jane, Josie, and Tillie. “This site, destroyed by one barbarian Billy Andrews-sorry, Jane- is a truly unforgettable space of possibility and great vehemence from all of us. From the very wreckage of this place, our demonstration was built. It is with great joy that I have led you here to one of my favorite areas in God’s dear old world to tell you something that brings me even more exaltment than this hallowed ground once did.”

“Oh, do tell us, Anne,” Tillie expressed, stepping closer with great interest. The girls hummed in agreement, the spark of fresh gossip news bright in their eyes.

Anne squealed softly before stepping forward and placing her hands by her sides, the small, simple, yet ever so elegant ring a comforting weight on her finger.

“Notice anything divergent from my regular ensemble?” she questioned, meeting their eyes with a teasing grin.

Ruby, being the most romantical one, was the first to see it. Her dreamy blue eyes widened, and a small rush of breath escaped her lips.

“Anne!” she gasped disbelievingly, a blissful grin spreading over her beautiful face. “Do you mean that…”

Anne nodded quickly, dimples prominent on her freckled cheeks as she beamed so widely she thought she might burst from elation.

Some of the other girls looked thoroughly confused. Their uncertainty was dispelled when Ruby ran closer to Anne, grabbing her hands and inspecting her ring finger closely. She squealed loudly, throwing her arms around Anne shortly before taking her hand again.

“Anne...it’s divine! Modest, yet sophisticated. It suits you perfectly,” she swooned, a faraway look in her sky blue eyes. “I’ve been hinting and hinting to Moody, but he just doesn’t get it!”

“Anne, are you…” Jane laughs disbelievingly, a small smile on her face. “Engaged? The first one out of all of us? What happened to the Bride of Adventure?”

“Yes, I am engaged, but I will not be getting married until Gilbert graduates. And second, the two aren’t mutually exclusive, especially when you have a partner that so openly encourages your endeavors.”

Anne’s mind traveled to their protest last spring. He had encountered her on the way to the schoolhouse and walked her there, supporting every last one of her more progressive notions. He had been the first to arrive and the last to leave. At first, he and Diana were the only people that had fundamentally agreed with her ideals, even if the execution was misplaced. He had stood up for her against the rest of the class when everyone despised her and been her light in a time of great uncertainty.

“Don’t start fantasizing on us now,” Josie teased, snapping her back to the world of the living. She ran up to give Anne a hug and whispered, “Save those thoughts for the wedding night, and Gilbert will be rather pleased.”

“Josie!” Anne screeched with a small smack on her arm, though she was cackling like a witch. “That’s preposterous!”

“You say that now,” Josie sniffed with mock indignation, crossing her arms. “We’ll see in four years how much more indecent you’ll be.”


	35. closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie argues with an old beau, and he reveals something that will change her life. Needless to say, all her plans for the future are shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm going to be honest with you: I neither enjoy or am good at writing angst, but this is essential to the plot, so here goes!
> 
> Also, this took so long because um, EVERMORE!!! IT IS SO GOOD!!! This song really only applies to the first half of the chapter.

**_I don't need your closure..._ **

After an afternoon of festivities, most everyone had gone home except for Anne, Diana, and Josie. Josie really did not want to return to her house and told her mother that she’d be sleeping over at Anne’s with Diana tonight.

The three were walking with arms linked together, cutting through town to get to Green Gables.

“Oh, wait right here! I promised Marilla I’d pick up some vanilla from the store!” Anne proclaimed, running inside the store after squeezing both their hands once. Before she ran inside, she called out, “I’ll buy us some chocolate caramels! I feel the need to indulge in all I can!”

Diana giggled from beside Josie and waved her off. They stood in comfortable silence for a couple moments, gazing at the idle town around them.

Avonlea was perfectly picturesque in December. Joy permeated every person’s heart in this season. The roads were covered in a light blanket of powder fresh snow with a splash of vivid emerald in the old-as-time conifers.There was an infectious buzz of laughter in the streets. The faint wafting smell of cocoa breezed through the air, and every person’s face was flushed rose from the nipping cold.

“And how about you?” Diana asked calmly, looking to the side to hide her smug smirk.

“Excuse me?” Josie said. Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips turned down, baffled at her question.

“Anne’s engaged, isn’t she? You followed her relationship by… 5 weeks, was it not? Are we due to see you with a ring on your finger any time soon?” she quizzed, hiding the seriousness of the question with a small snicker.

“No,” Josie responded vehemently. She shook her head quickly, quite sure about her answer. “I think… I would like to in the future, but… I don’t want to rush into it like I did Billy. Mother and Father had already started wedding plans, for goodness sakes! With Alex… I can take it at my own pace.” She finished with a content smile. She had come so far since that organized action seven months ago.

“Hey, I heard my name!” a boy said jovially from behind them. Josie tensed at the familiar sound, the painful sound. He ran up to them, brushing Josie’s shoulder as he ran by. His face was twisted into a vicious smile, malice glinting in his eyes. “You talking about me, Josie? I’m flattered.”

“Billy,” she greeted coldly, unconsciously grasping Diana’s hand tighter. She’d need a friend’s comfort for this. Diana was equally put off, staring coldly into the other boy’s eyes.

At that moment, the door to the general store opened and Anne walked out, a box and a bottle of vanilla essence in tow. “I brought… chocolate caramels,” she started happily, yet trailing off and eyeing Billy warily. She went to go stand on Josie’s other side and put a protective arm around her friend.

“Billy, care to explain why you’re here?” she asked seemingly sweetly, a stiff smile quickly turning into a scowl.

“Yes, we really must be going,” Diana cut in before he could respond, starting to walk ahead briskly. Josie and Anne started to follow after. Josie’s head was turned downwards so that she didn’t have to look Billy in the eyes, and her long golden hair hung in a silky curtain in front of her face.

“C’mon, I just wanna talk,” he coaxed, grabbing Josie’s arm and pulling her back roughly. She tore her hand away, face paling from the contact.

“Billy, I- I really have no desire whatsoever to speak to you. Please, leave us be. I’ve told you time and again, you hurt me. Our courtship ended months ago. I’m with someone else now. Please, leave me alone,” she requested, surprisingly polite for all the torments she had endured from him.

“Come on, Josie! You’re being unreasonable. I gave you time. I was nice. Now it’s time to stop playing games!” he insisted, trying aimlessly to pull her hand towards his. She evaded his groping hands and crossed them over her chest.

“Come on, Josie. Don’t you miss what we had? I miss you! You know you love me!” he pleaded pathetically, trying an unusual approach of injecting pathos in his words.

“I’m sorry, Billy. I meant what I said. Our courtship is over. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore,” she started politely, but when she looked upon his odious face, she sneered, looping her arms through Anne’s and Diana’s and continuing forward.

“I can give you everything! I can fix your loose morals! It isn’t like any man is going to want you after I’ve already had my way with you. I’m your best bet,” he scoffed, not realizing how far over the line he had crossed.

Josie spun around, nostrils flaring, and stared at him right in the eyes. Her sparkling blue eyes widened and morphed into orbs of pure rage. They weren’t the morning sky anymore. They were the Caribbean ocean in a typhoon, stirring and furious.

She marched over to him and struck him across the face, the sound of her palm hitting his cheek resounding across the way. By now, a crowd had gathered around the confrontation. They gasped at the gesture that was seen as uncouth and low class of a Pye woman.

“Don’t you dare tell me that. I am worth more than who you think I am. I have a beau who cares about me very much. I have friends that I love more than my own life. My worth isn’t defined by you, William Andrews, you cad.”

“Isn’t it? You’re just a girl. The only thing you can do is get married! May as well be me! This other beau of yours’ll get tired of your uptight attitude about this soon enough, and you’ll come scampering back to our family!” he huffed, rubbing his stinging cheek with his rough hand that had inflicted so much pain on her.

“Just because I choose to have a beau and just because I have a desire to marry when I’m older doesn’t mean my entire life’s purpose is chalked up to being a wife! I… I enjoy so many more things than romance! Just because I wear the title of a sweetheart doesn’t mean it’s my entire identity, Billy. Ask Anne! She’s the most independent woman, and she’s engaged!” She looked pointedly towards her friend, and Anne nodded vehemently.

“Josie’s absolutely correct, and I’m proud of her for all the progressions she’s made beyond believing your fibs, Billy,” Anne said, her eyes scanning him with contempt. Her heart truly did swell in her chest seeing Josie developing such a modern point of view on such highly debated topics. How far they had both come!

He grew more and more callous as his advances were rebuffed one by one.

He was taken aback until he remembered something, mouth twisting into a barbarous grin.

“This is below you, Josie. Fido must be rubbing off on you. You’d better get checked for fleas from the filthy orphan.” He scowled in exaggerated distaste, and he made a big show of gagging at Anne. Meanwhile, Anne looked like she was ready to throw him into a pit of vicious snakes.

“Anne is not a filthy orphan,” Diana defended with a frown at the same time Josie proclaimed, “Anne is a beautiful soul, anything but filthy.”

Billy studied Josie closer before gasping animatedly. “Oh Josie, you poor thing. I bet you’re hopelessly in love with her, huh?”

Josie was taken off guard. Where on Earth did he get that idea? “Excuse… me?”

“Oh yes, I know all about your dirty secret. You swing both ways, and there’s no way you can deny it. You, for all your acts of class, are a dirty and un-Christian girl who likes other women,” he spat hatefully, stepping closer so his face was inches from hers. “And I gave you your chance to be with me and qualify your reputation. I wouldn’t have told anyone. But now, live with the consequences.”

And suddenly, Josie’s entire world came crashing down.

Before she could stop it, something incredibly self-incriminating tumbled out of her mouth. “Anne!” she screamed, her voice cracking. “Who did you tell?” She grasped Anne’s shoulders and stared deep into her eyes to detect some sign of betrayal. “Who did you tell?”

Anne’s mouth was agape, and she shook her head frantically. “I didn’t tell anyone, Josie, I swear. I-I would never.”

Billy grinned maliciously and simply responded, “You’ll happen to recall a conversation on the train…”

_______________________

“You finally did it?” he boomed, clapping Gilbert on the back. The two men were strolling through town together. They had just passed Green Gables on their walk, and that led to a conversation on certain engagements.

“Yes,” he chuckled, half-surprised himself at the seemingly surreal turn-out of the last night. “She said yes.”

“Well, I didn’t need a prophet to tell me that. Your loopy little smile told me that much,” he drawled, epically failing to hide the grin on his face. But after a moment, he smiled genuinely and wrapped his arms around Gilbert for a short moment. “Congratulations. I’m happy for you. Don’t hurt Anne, or Josie’s going to come and beat your arse into the ground.”

“That’s even if I make it past Anne herself,” he responded, a teasing smile and sparkling eyes at the mention of his love. “Thank you, Alex. For everything. You’ve become more close to me in three and a half months than many of my long-time schoolmates.”

“I owe more to you, Gilbert. You are… my first real friend.”

“And I introduced you to Josie?” said Gilbert, brushing his shoulder against Alex’s cheekily.

“Oh yes, the rest of you don’t matter,” he said with a tone so dead serious anyone else would have been offended.

Gilbert laughed softly, shaking his head. “I have to say, life is splendid right now.”

“No, don’t jinx it, Gilbert!” Alexander warned, shaking his hands at his friend comically.

It was meant to be a joke, but as if on cue, footsteps sounded from behind them. With question in their eyes, they turned to see something so unexpected on such a joyful day.

The two very girls they’d been talking about were walking in from town and headed into the direction of Green Gables. Anne held Josie upright as the girl wracked with sobs, weeping incoherently about ruined lives, tragic mistakes, lost loves.

“My parents… they’ll send me away. They’ll marry me off and make… make me never tell a single soul. I-I c-can never...show my face here… a-again, Anne.” Her frame was hunched over, barely able to keep herself upright.

Anne wiped away a tear of her own with the back of her hand quickly, trying in vain to comfort Josie.

“Josie, it’ll be alright. We’ll get this sorted out. For now, we’ll just go to Green Gables. You can stay with me. You don’t have to go to your house. We can finish out the year at Queens together and then… you can live with Gilbert and I! I’m sure he won’t mind! Or maybe Cole and Aunt Jo can take you in.”

She was making false promises, but she liked to imagine that all would be right in the world, that Avonlea wasn’t as hateful as their reaction seemed to be. She tried to wipe the tears from Josie’s eyes, neither one noticing their beaus right in front of them.

Josie’s head raised briefly, and she met Alex’s eyes for a brief moment. His cornflower eyes were vulnerable seeing her in such a state, welling with more passion and care than she had ever seen from Billy. The thought that she’d never be able to see him, those wonderful, sparkling, fond, prancing sapphires again swallowed her. He’d never want to look at her face again after this.

She broke eye-contact with him and broke into a full sprint towards Green Gables. Alex’s face panged with hurt for a second before Anne rushed over.

“Don’t worry about that, Alex. Something terrible has just happened, but it isn’t your fault.” She spun on her heel to run after Josie, but Gilbert took her hand and pulled her back gently.

“Wait, Anne, what happened? What can I do?” Anne fell in love with him all over again at his tender concern for Josie, a friend of Anne’s he barely knew, and kissed him on the cheek very briefly.

“I’ll explain later. For now, Josie needs me.” With that, she took off after her friend.


	36. hoax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Billy's announcement to the town.

**_You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?  
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars  
From when they pulled me apart_ **

Anne and Josie stumbled through the doors of Green Gables. Josie was whimpering and desperately failing to hold in tears, and Anne was trying in vain to console her.

“My word!” Marilla gasped at the disturbance. “Now, what on Earth is the meaning of this, Anne?”

Just then, she noticed the person beside her daughter, and her sharp blue eyes widened. “Dear child! What’s afflicting you? Please, have a seat!”

Josie cowered and whispered something in Anne’s ear, shaking her head.

Anne conveyed the message with a grimace. “It’s best I not tell you for now, Marilla. I’m sorry, but it’s of grave danger to Josie. I’m going to escort her to my room, get her cleaned up, and talk with her in complete confidence.”

Anne’s tone was so unwavering, so mature and unlike the fanciful child Matthew had met at the train station, that Marilla knew she couldn’t in good conscience deny her of something that seemed so important right now.

“Of course. I’ll bring some fortification up,” Marilla responded, hurrying to the kitchen as Anne and Josie made their way up the stairs.

Shutting the door behind her, Josie all but collapsed on Anne’s small gable room bed, curling her knees up to her chest and letting out a heart wrenching cry of utter agony.

“I… I can never see him again,” she whispered, peering out of the window to where you could still see a perplexed blonde standing a couple feet away from the entrance to the quaint farm. “He’ll hate me. I can’t… endure it. B-better to cut off all ties than… than to experience whatever hate he’ll send my way.”

“Josie,” Anne sighed, sitting behind her close friend and undoing the tight pins in the blonde waves. Her hair cascaded past her shoulders in loose golden waves after Josie had stopped curling it every night. “If he was truly that kind of man, I don’t think Gilbert would-”

“We don’t know what kind of man he is, Anne,” Josie interrupted bitterly. “I know you like to believe the world is a wonderful place where everyone can be accepted with a little bit of imagination, but it’s not. Not for people like me. You were an orphan. Something fairly common. Frowned down upon, yet accepted with a little work. But me?” She scoffed humorlessly with a roll of her eyes. “People like me are murdered through vicious hate crimes and people rejoice. People don’t murder orphans, now do they?”

“Josie, if you’d just-”

“No, Anne. You are a rare soul. You know that. Everybody else? Not so much. Liking people like me is seen as ungodly. The church will ban me from tomorrow. I’m already expecting it. I’ll be sent to live with some obscure aunt in the States or something like that, and no one will ever see me again. Alexander will live in utter shame that he considered loving an ‘immoral’ girl like me, and you and your darling little beau will forget me eventually because the world will never fault you for the love you share. They’ll never see that even though I have loved girls, they’ll never see the same kind of beauty I had with him. They’re blind to anything but their small minded views, and you’re foolish if you think otherwise.”

The words were cruel, a shadow of the mutual enmity that she and Anne used to have, but they were true. In Anne’s heart of hearts, she knew they were accurate, however harsh they seemed.

A tear rolled down Anne’s right cheek at her words. As much as Anne wanted it to be false, every word Josie said was justified. If they’d burnt down a schoolhouse for the simple freedom of press, what would they do to someone perceived as hedonistic?

All of a sudden, somebody knocked on the door gently, cracking it open just a hair.

“The town… I heard what happened. I’m alone. I told Alex to go back home,” a male voice said quietly, his voice gentle and compassionate through the door. “May I come in?”

Anne looked to Josie for permission, and the other girl nodded almost imperceptibly.

“Yes, you may,” Anne granted. She felt Josie’s hand slip into hers in fright, and the girl squeezed her hand so forcefully that it almost hurt.

The tall boy stepped through the door, closing it behind him quietly. Almost cautiously, he approached the two girls. Like always, he first looked at Anne, but his gaze was quickly drawn away and landed on Josie.

“What? Are you here to be the first one to tell me off?” she grumbled, crossing her arms and sitting up to look him in the eye.

He was unaffected by the jibe. “No, I… I wanted to tell you that even though you and I may not know each other as well as perhaps Anne does… I’ll stand by you if it comes to it. We both will.”

“That’s reassuring… And… does he know, Gilbert?” Josie said, her voice quivering slightly. He grimaced slightly and nodded.

“I don’t know his views, but… he knows. He wanted to speak to you, but I convinced him to hold off until tomorrow.” Gingerly, he sat down in the chair beside Anne’s bed.

“Oh no,” she groaned, putting her face in her hands. “My parents have probably heard by now too. I can already hear their hollering from a mile and a half away.” When her face reemerged from her hands, fat tears were rolling down her cheek once more.

“Don’t worry about that now,” Anne comforted softly, wiping the tears away from her friend’s cheek once more. “For now, you should just change into one of my things and get some rest. I promise I’ll try my hardest to convince Marilla to let you stay here. Would you like for us to explain to her the scenario? So that Mrs. Lynde or Mrs. Andrews doesn’t get here first and do it?”

Josie hesitated for a second and nodded, her blue eyes glassy with moisture.

“Alright,” Anne said quietly as she and Gilbert both stood up. Just as they were shutting the door, Anne reminded, “Say the words, and I’m there to help you.”

The door shut with a quiet click, and the pair walked downstairs.

“I’m afraid, Gil,” she confided, blinking away more moisture from her eyes. “Josie doesn’t deserve this. No one does. I don’t want her to live an discontented life with people she hates across the country. And it sounds selfish, but just when we were starting to bond! I have never so badly wanted to strangle someone than I do Billy Andrews, as vicious as it sounds.”

“Believe me, many of us would like to do the same,” Gilbert agreed with a dark and humorless laugh. “You know that I’ve come close to it. Whatever it is, we can only try to explain to Marilla for now, try to get her on our side.”

“Marilla is such a devout Christian, and I’m frightened that the hateful filth the minister spews will cloud her judgement,” Anne fretted, her hands wringing together. She winced, and Gilbert looked down to where she was pinching her arm with question in his eyes. “I had to make sure this entire thing wasn’t some vivid nightmare. And well… it isn’t.”

Her words brought him back to a simpler time, that last late August when he had taken her delicate face in his hands and kissed her lips for the first time. His heart stung at the parallels.

“Are you ready?” he asked her, taking the hand she had bruised and rubbing the afflicted spot gently.

“Not at all, actually,” she confessed, biting her lip as they both took a step forward. They strode into the kitchen with full intentions of telling Marilla everything, but cold-blooded fear ran through their veins when they saw they were too late.

“Oh Marilla, it’s preposterous that some scandal like this could befall our town,” Rachel Lynde wept from the kitchen table, dabbing her eyes with handkerchief. Anne had full intentions of marching up to Rachel Lynde and telling her off about what a wonderful person Josie was, about how love was pure in all forms, but she didn’t need to with what Mrs. Lynde said next.

“This entire town is utterly preposterous! Judging the poor girl for something she can’t control! Poor dear Josie! Everything was going so well for her too. Knowing Lucille, she’ll be on the first train out to somewhere far away.” Marilla patted her friend on the back empathetically. She spotted Anne and Gilbert standing with mouths agape.

“Anne, was this why Josie was in a fit when she came here?” Marilla asked her with widened eyes.

Anne only nodded before summoning up her courage and saying, “We came to ask you something. Is there any way Josie could stay here with us? You already know that she’s going through something horrendous, and I fear her parents would make it worse.”

Marilla sighed desolately. “I wish, dear. But at the end of the day, the Pyes are her parents. They’ll come for her soon enough, and they’ll press charges if we refuse to let her go. They’re probably halfway through town now.”

“She’s right,” Gilbert murmured to his sweetheart.

“Now, where is Josie?” Marilla asked them, beckoning them to come sit down.

“In my room. I told her to rest,” Anne answered flatly, looking down at the table and not meeting anyone’s eye.

“Good,” nodded Marilla snippily.

There was a long moment of silence before Anne sniffed, “What’s going to happen, Marilla?” She sounded like a lost and affrighted child, her usually dancing ice blue eyes morose and heavied with desolation. Gilbert was overwhelmed and grasped her hand tightly, not caring a mite for Mrs. Lynde’s presence. Marilla only exhaled shakily and squeezed Anne’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.”


	37. Picture to Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie has an argument with her parents, Gilbert has a conversation, and Alex makes a confession and proposition.

**_So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time  
As far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn_ **

“You are an utter disgrace!” Josie flinched as her father grabbed her roughly by the arm and dragged her inside the house. His nostrils were flaring with fury, and every word he said was spit out in a rage.

From behind them, her mother was trying her best to collect herself, somewhere in a mix between a fit of sobbing and a bout of anger. “H-How could you do th-this to us, fool girl?”

Tears stung Josie’s eyes, and she squeezed them shut, hoping to shut out all the noise in her head and outside. It was a flurry of negativity, echoes of ungodly, not good enough, uncouth, low born…

But there was something else, a sprinkling that wouldn’t have existed prior to this year. It was Cole’s cool confidence in announcing to them that he liked men unapologetically, it was Ruby proclaiming that love in all forms was empowering, it was Diana taking Josie’s hand and leading her away from that barbarian Billy, and it was Anne. Lovely Anne, standing up for her when Josie had shown nothing but malice, telling her she was a wonderful person who deserved the world, laughing when she laughed and holding her as she cried.

Weakly, but bright enough to illuminate a path, a spark ignited inside of her. She’d be damned if she was silenced again.

“How could I do this?” she spat bitterly, a hollow laugh echoing in her throat. Her eyes flared with renewed fury that rivaled even her father’s. “As if it is my fault that God decided I would like women.”

“God?” her father scowled. “God despises people like you.”

“God doesn’t despise anyone, Father. That’s his main motto, remember?” She rolled her eyes, and her fists balled up tightly.

“Nonsense,” he scoffed, his teeth gritting with frustration. “I don’t know where these outbursts are coming from, Josie. You used to be such a mild-mannered and proper girl. You wouldn’t have dreamt of getting yourself doused in this kind of filth, and you certainly wouldn’t back talk to anyone unless they were being improper, especially not your own parents! Perhaps it’s best you stop associating with the orphan. Her uncouth essence is clearly rubbing off on you. Just because she preaches the ideals of a bloody suffragette and an ungodly heretic doesn’t mean you have to fall into that kind of nonsense.”

He stepped closer to her and clearly intended to be threatening, but she stepped right back up and looked him in the eye.

“Don’t you dare talk about Anne! She’s been a world kinder to me this past year than you. Do you remember when my honor was almost stripped by Billy, the boy you love so much? I recall you saying that it was my fault. You know who really stood by me even though I was a nightmare? The very same person you think is ungodly. I remember the Bible stating something or the other about loving one’s neighbor and kindness, but who cares about that when you have enough money and the status quo working on your side?”

Her father’s face turned a shade of beet red, half fury and half humiliation at his seventeen year old daughter taking him several notches down.

Josie continued, “Yes, Father, I am capable of liking both women and men. It was something I was born with, and it is a part of me. I’m truly apologetic that you’re too small minded to accept it, but I am not sorry. I will not take it back, and I will not stop talking to those who love me. I could, however, stop talking to you and Mother, because it is clear that you will not and never will love me for who I am. If I’m ungodly, then perhaps it’s best that we all turn into atheists.”

It was clear she had crossed the line.

“You wicked child,” he growled, taking her by the arm. She struggled in vain as he dragged her up the stairs. “Pack your bags. You’ll be at your great aunt’s house in the States by next week. You’ll marry rich, don’t worry. You can’t stay here and bring the Pye name into disrepute with your blasphemous filth.”

Josie paled, frozen in shock. She knew it was coming, but to hear it said out loud… it was fear that was unimaginable. She’d never be able to see her friends again. She was going to leave Avonlea behind to live in hiding, partnered with a man she’d despise.

The door of her room slammed on her face just as she fell to her knees.

__________________________

Gilbert trudged home, wishing he could do anything more to help Josie in her predicament. He had asked Anne time and time again to do something for them, but his beautiful optimistic girl had refused with a helpless sigh that made him furious at the world.

He entered his house, closing the door softly behind him. He froze just then. He had forgotten about Alexander. He was in a plight now.

Alexander hailed from a wealthy, fairly traditional family. What would he do if-like most people- his close friend rejected Josie for who she was? Would he evict Alex from his household for the holidays and find a new roommate? Would he even be capable of being civil to him knowing that he had such hateful views? Maybe if he found a way to ignore them and look past any prejudice...

Don’t be foolish, Gilbert, Anne’s voice chided in his head. Her voice had become the voice of his conscience. Principles should be constant.Try and win him over, but if that doesn’t work, you must adhere to your values and stand on the side of good, not sympathize with one of Josie’s main grievances.

With a deep breath, he walked up to the room where Alex was staying for the time being and knocked hesitantly, pulling in a sharp breath when he heard the man’s deep voice say, “Come in.”

He was all set to go with a big speech, but was promptly taken by surprise.

Alexander was in a… less than put-together state of being. His usually perfectly coiffed hair was disheveled and showed signs of him running his hands through it multiple times. Out on the desk was a pile of letters, and Alex must’ve been working on the sixth one. A pad of bank checks was also next to him.

“A-Alex? What are you doing?” Gilbert asked, slowly walking up to where the tall boy was slumped over the desk with a cramped hand, writing furiously.

“I have to make sure, for her own sake, that this news doesn’t spread out of Avonlea. If I can get our influential connections in Charlottetown and Carmody to discredit any rumors that may float around, she could finish her education and do what she wants in the future.” He paused only for a brief moment before continuing to write. “It’s what she deserves.”

“Wait, so… you’re supportive, right?” Gilbert confirmed, just making sure he could trust his ears. Who could’ve known that he’d befriend all the right people?

“Of course. Aren’t you?” he asked, eyeing Gilbert warily, tone less friendly.

“Without a doubt,” affirmed Gilbert quickly, and Alex’s posture relaxed. “It’s...unforeseen. Don’t take this the wrong way, but-”

“My family is constituted of old-money conservatives that wouldn’t know modernity if it pinched them in the arse,” he completed dryly, shaking his head with a sardonic chuckle. “I used to believe in those ideals for the hell of it, because that’s what I was raised with. I don’t tell anyone about my sister to preserve her standing, and I regret not telling Josie now, but I think it is about time. She’s truly my role model.”

“What does she have to do with this?” Gilbert asked him, taking a seat across from him.

“When I was… fourteen, so about three and a half years ago, my sister started courting this man. He was a bit strange, but she spent all her time at his house with this other fellow she was friends with. She and this bloke got married and moved over to Ottawa, but just barely a month later, his sister and that other man got married and moved over to Canada too. Fast forward to last August when I was visiting her before the semester started, I had arrived an hour earlier than I was supposed to.I burst through the door, thinking it would be a nice little surprise, and there she was, on the couch, snogging the sister of the man she supposedly loved!” He laughed at the recollection, remembering the startled way they had pulled apart and shot to different sides of the couch.

“So your sister is…”

“She likes women, yes. Turns out she and her supposed most beloved husband got married so she could be with his sister without suspicion, and the sister got married so that her husband could be with who he loved. My parents are clueless, and sometimes it is quite humorous when they ask when they’re getting grandchildren. My sister might be adopting, however, to keep them sated. Now, she’s part of a suffragette and civil rights group and runs a monopoly on the town’s baking business.”

“Truly an icon,” Gilbert chuckled, shaking his head dismally. “Poor Josie. If only she had known this before she started talking about you never wanting to see her again.”

“Does she really think that?” Alexander asked, his countenance tendering. He thought he’d made clear a long time ago that she was everything to him, no matter what happened, no matter who she was, no matter what she did or where she was, yet she still thought he would desert her. He promised himself to make it clear to her how much she mattered next time.

“Unfortunately,” Gilbert sighed.

“Oh God, I have to go over there right now. She probably hates me,” Alexander realized, shooting up from his chair and smoothing out his hair with a comb and a tin of pomade. “I need to let her know that I’m here for her.”

Gilbert nodded and stood up also. “She’ll be happy to know it, Alexander. She cares about you a lot.”

“So do I,” Alex responded, a half smile on his face. “I love her, I really do.”

A brief look of surprise crossed Gilbert’s face before he composed himself again, grinning back at his friend. “I know what that feels like, and you should tell her before its too late. Once you have each other, the only thing left to do is hold on, fight for each other, and hope everything turns out alright.”

_____________

Half an hour later, Alex was on the Pyes’ doorstep again, this time for a different reason than before. His hand was poised to knock when a shower of something came down from the upstairs window, landing in scraps on his head. He stepped back, fingering his hair to pull out some torn pieces of paper. They were seemingly unrelated words, yet his heart clenched in his chest when he realized what they were.

_Thinking of y_

_kiss you under the moonl_

_sweet Josie_

_beguiling woma_

_Your Alex_

He looked up to the window that signified Josie’s room where the scraps had come down from. He saw a flash of blonde and heard the sound of more tearing.

“Jo,” he called, cupping his hands around his mouth.

“Go away, Alexander!” she shouted back, her voice breaking.

“Josie, wait! Please, come out!”

“I already know what you’re here for, and I’ve already been rebuked enough! Don’t worry, I’ll just assume our relationship is over, no need for formalities,” she mocked, sticking her head out of the window. For the first time, he saw afflicted she was. Her wavy blonde hair had been haphazardly pulled back into an unconventional braid. Her face had angry streaks of where tears had fallen, and her expensive dress was rumpled.

“Please, Josie, stop. Just… come out. I’m not-”

“I’ll be damned if I let you drag me down with anymore hurtful words. I suppose you’ll want to keep this little fiasco under wraps. Wouldn’t want you and your self-aggrandizing, self-important, rich friends to know you were ever associated with such filth, right?” she scoffed, sending down another shower of paper scraps. He tried to collect as many of them as he could with his hands.

“Jo, just-”

“No, Alex. You listen now. This is who I am. You can’t change it, and I’m not going to be sorry. I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that I am leaving. Or rather, I’m being sent away,” she spat bitterly.

This was news to him. No, he couldn’t bear not seeing her again. He needed to do something before it was too late.

She was still raging, spitting out words of wrath. “I’ll find something new. I always do-”

And the words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Josie, I love you. And- and I know you’re not exactly pleased at me right now, but I need you to know. I will never fault you for anything like this. It would be preposterous for me to be ashamed of something so natural, a part of you. I can’t help but love every part of you, Josie. I’m by your side, always.”

She stilled, her mouth freezing in place. He looked up at her with soulful blue eyes. She stepped back, closing the window and drawing the curtains of her room. His face fell. Of course she wouldn’t reciprocate. What was he thinking?

He turned to walk back to the Blythe orchard, but there was the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. Just as he spun back around to see what the commotion was, a whizz flew by and right into his arms. Lips crashed into his, hands caressed his face.

His body reacted before he thought about it. His hands grasped her waist, pulling her closer. The world vanished for moments, and he wished everything away. He was blind to everyone but her.

After a couple seconds, she released him and stepped back sheepishly, tears gleaming in her eyes.

“You love me?” she confirmed breathlessly, still grasping his hands.

“More than anything,” he answered, bending down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“I’m… sorry,” she said. When his face started to fall, she quickly amended, “I’m not turning you away, but I’m not ready to say it. When I do, I want to be sure I mean it completely. It isn’t that I don’t care for you- because I do, an almost frightening amount- but because I’m still figuring out what those words mean for myself. I thought I had loved Billy, and well,” her voice broke. “Look where that ended me.”

“Jo, you don’t need to apologize. I know we agreed to take it very slowly, and I’m rushing things along. I just… don’t want you to misconstrue my family’s reputation as my own opinions.”

Just as soon as a smile flashed on her face, a look of realization flashed across it too, and she stumbled.

“Oh no,” she sighed, more droplets trickling down from her eyes. “Alex, you’ve made a grave mistake. You can’t go and love me now. I’m being forced out, remember? Y-you’ll never see me again.”

Well, this was it. The moment of truth. He was doing it on a whim, a not well thought out fancy, but perhaps an out from a life of misery for her. If only she’d accept it over being shipped to the States like some kind of cheap cargo. She deserved more, and he wanted to give it to her.

“I have kind of a fix to that too,” he admitted, cupping her cheek and grazing it with the tip of his thumb. “You may not like it, and that’s alright. It’s… a fast step, but at least for me, it would be better than not seeing you again, or you getting married young and uneducated to someone you loathe. Believe me, this is a product of the circumstance. Under conventional circumstances, this would not be happening until we were both done with our educations. But this situation… is not ordinary.”

“Anything is good at this point, Alex,” she groaned, resting her head on his chest for a brief moment, rectitude be damned. Her reputation was already ruined. He chuckled, and she felt the comforting rumble against her ear. He gently grasped her shoulders and pulled her up right, staring into her eyes with unusual seriousness.

“Alex?” she asked with concern, her eyebrows furrowing when she saw the worry etched on his face. “What is it?”

“Marry me, Josie.”


	38. Love Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie agrees to something, and Anne and Gilbert try and forget for a moment.

**_Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.  
I'll be waiting. All there's left to do is run.  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.  
It's a love story. Baby, just say 'Yes'._ **

“Marry me, Josie,” he pleaded, taking both of her fair hands gently. His thumbs caressed the backs of her hands with care. Ugh, damn him. He knew how easily she caved when he did that.

“Alex,” she sighed, pulling her hands out of his grasp and stepping back. “That’s absolutely insane. I’m seventeen, you’re a half year older than me. We’re not exactly the people you’d look at and think ‘old married couple’.”

“I know,” he conceded, yet the spark in his eyes hadn’t died down even a little bit. “And it might be completely mad, but is it so bad to think that you, my gorgeous girl, might be the one I get to spend my life with? I couldn’t bear not seeing you again, and isn’t it better that you spend your life with me and not some pretentious arse that you can never be your real self around? Someone who will never love you as much as I do?”

“But Alex… marriage has… so many commitments! I’ll be expected to stay with you f-forever, and if your family doesn’t like me or God forbid we fall out some day-”

“Then you can walk out, no problem. You can live by yourself and only be with me occasionally to keep up appearances. I can even pretend I left you for another woman if you so choose, love,” he offered, cupping her left hand and placing a soft kiss on it. Her eyes were still troubled, and he knew it was deeper than making commitments.

“And my education-”

“Can be completed. I’ve already written letters with more than satisfactory threats to influentials in Charlottetown to keep your reputation intact.”

“I’ll be the center of attention-”

“We can have a small ceremony to sign papers. Anne and Gilbert can be our witnesses.”

“If it’s too expensive-”

“And now you won’t tell me what’s wrong because you know we’ve never had a cash problem,” he groaned, cupping her face in his hands and staring deep into her eyes.

“Josie, angel, queen, love of my life, I swear to you that whatever is plaguing you, I’ll find some way to solve it. I’ll solve anything if it means you can, we can escape from society’s hellish corners. Please, tell me.” He pressed his lips to her forehead for a lingering moment, and she was reassured with a brief and dying burst of confidence.

She took a quavering breath and started to mumble. “When you get married to someone, there are certain… expectations, as you know.”

His brow raised in perplexment. “Yes?”

“Not just societal expectations, but… personal expectations,” she continued, hoping he had caught on.

“Right…” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Boys were incredibly thick sometimes. She waited a few seconds for it to register, but there was no such luck.

“I’m not ready to share a marital bed with you,” she finally blurted out, her face flushed with embarrassment and hidden by her hands. “I thought I was over what happened with Billy last summer, but this entire fiasco has resurfaced old memories, and… I won’t be able to fulfill my duties as a wife. You deserve someone who can.”

“Oh,” he said quietly, taken aback by her forwardness. “I-is that it then?”

Her eyes snapped to his in surprise. “Yes, that’s it, I suppose. I thought you’d be more… angry, I guess. My mother sat me down an hour ago and gave me this talk about how once I get married, I had to please my husband in all aspects or something like that otherwise I wouldn’t be a satisfactory wife.”

“Oh Jo,” he half-laughed, bending down to plant a kiss on her lips. “That’s the least of my worries. The only way you could ever stop being ‘a good wife’ would be to stop being you, Jo. All I want, all I’ve ever wanted is you. So I’m asking you again, my love, will you marry me?”

In that typical fashion of hers, she didn’t give him a straight forward no or yes, rather looking at the ground coyly and murmuring, “You’ll have to speak to my father,” and he beamed because from her, it was as good as a yes.

Lacing her fingers through his, they continued towards the large house. Josie’s heart was uneasy at its core, but she knew she had a future that wasn’t as horrid as she thought.

_________________

“So, Josie came and explained the situation to me this evening to make sure I was okay with it,” Anne said at the Blythe-Lacroix kitchen table, her and Gilbert having eaten half the apple pie Marilla had sent over with her already. The day’s stress had gotten to them, and she couldn’t imagine how bad it was for Josie. “And though my heart hurts at having to room away from my darling Diana, Josie has been a true friend these past months, and I will relish the time I have with her and love her as only a true friend can before she’s sent off to Toronto with you boys. It is for the sake of my own morals and because I’ve grown to love her more than I ever would’ve thought.”

She rattled off the flowery speech definitively with decisive gestures of her fork, and Gilbert smiled despite himself. No matter what happened, she always remained a version of the same Anne he had fallen for.

“Loving is one of your deepest strengths,” he told her warmly, the look in his eyes speaking for themselves.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” she laughed softly, reaching to lace their free left hands together across the table. He felt the band of the gold ring press into the top of his palm, and he couldn’t help but grin wider. It was a miracle they hadn’t touched for so long. They were the type of couple that was always aware of the other.

It wasn’t anything improper, but anyone observing could see that they couldn’t go without the small gestures. The way they’d brush the other’s waist or shoulder when passing by, the way he’d tuck her hair back when it was starting to fall into her face, the way she’d hold his hand whenever she could for no apparent reason, the way their casual conversation always involved little touches on the arm.

“Us engaged types tend to have a little wisdom about these things,” he replied, squeezing her hand. Out of all the havoc that Billy had wreaked, it was all but easy to forget that she and Gilbert were officially engaged as of a few days ago. But she had the ring now, a constant and welcome reminder that he was in her heart wherever she was.

“I feel selfish for saying this, but Billy’s a cad. Not just for the treacherous things he’s done and because he ruined Josie’s plans, but also because he ruined the effervescent glow I had from my recent engagement,” she sighed, swallowing a bite of pie. “Is it horrible, Gil?”

“How could it be? What he did to Josie was… unspeakably evil, but it affected the lives of the people around her, the people who care for her especially. It doesn’t take priority over her struggles, but it’s how you’re feeling and that’s valid. It’s okay that you feel robbed. I do too.”

“Gil… for just a few minutes, may we pretend that it’s yesterday morning, that none of this ever happened? Just for a minute, please,” she told him, biting her bottom lip to hold in tears. “I can’t face the real world right now, and I rely on my imagination to escape.”

“Of course,” he told her, standing up and extending his hand up to her. She placed it in his, standing with a watery smile. “If this was yesterday morning, I would invite you into my room to ‘show you a book I’ve been reading’.”

She followed him into the room, and he shut the door softly as to not disturb the other members of the house.

She sat down on the edge of his bed, but he made no indication of moving to the bookshelf.

“Well, where’s the book?” she asked in faux innocence, smiling angelically.

“There isn’t one,” he shrugged, sitting down beside her and pulling her closer. He drew her lips to his, and she laughed through the kiss. She pulled away, but her face hovered inches from his.

“Mr. Blythe, did you bring me here to seduce me?” she gasped.

“I don’t know; why don’t you find out?” A chill ran through Anne at the low and husky tone of voice. She practically pounced on him, and he didn’t mind, drawing her into his lap and wrapping his hands around her small waist.

But eventually, like they always did, they had to stop before they did something they’d regret in a cloud of lust.

And it was times like these when Anne wished she was older and married. And it was times like these when she immediately felt guilty for thinking so when her close friend was facing the same plight and so not ready for it.

She forcefully pulled away, breath heavy and head spinning with want. “We need to stop.”

“I know,” he acknowledged glumly. “I think the only upside of being thousands of miles away is not being tempted to do something I’ll regret.”

“I think it’s wonderful we can have a prospering intellectual and physical relationship?” She tried to make light out of it.

“Three and a half years,” he sighed, more to himself than her. She rested her head in the crook of his neck, and he ran his hands through her blazing red hair.

Anne smiled into his now mussed collar. “And then forever.”


	39. evermore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie talks with her fiance and writes some letters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short and sweet filler before all goes to hell :)
> 
> I wanted to italicize all the letters at the end, but ao3 was being dumb and giving me formatting problems. :(

**_I had a feeling so peculiar  
that this pain wouldn't be for,  
evermore _**

“You’ll finish the year at Queens. You’ll switch rooms with Diana Barry as Eliza rightfully doesn’t want her daughter interacting with the orphan. The only reason I’m permitting you is because she’s the only one who’ll take you, and she’s the only one likely to not go blabbing her mouth off to all the other girls. As soon as you earn the teaching license, you’ll move to Toronto and get married. And then, you won’t mention a word of this to anyone,” her father instructed to her and Alex as they stood in the doorway of the Pye home. Alex nodded respectfully so that her father wouldn’t go back on his agreement, and Josie remained indifferent.

“Yes, sir. I’ll give her everything she could possibly want for,” said her beau-no, fiance- earnestly, gazing at her briefly. She’d have to get used to that word. It left a bitter taste in her mouth as she said it, and she felt somewhat guilty. Every time she thought it, she associated it with a product of the turmoil, not the man she cared about so much. 

She wanted to feel elated like Anne was at getting engaged. She really wanted to feel the same flutter in her body, the same flying feeling that Anne had described so vividly, one Josie had felt when he had agreed to pursue a courtship despite her less than pristine record, when he had kissed her right in the middle of the hallway, when he had told her that he loved her despite what the status quo preached. 

Instead, she felt dread. Dread at the fact that her friend circle had halved in the span of a few fours, that she’d have to leave the life she knew after one short semester at Queens, that she’d have to meet Alex’s family who she was sure would disagree with his decision to marry her- not nearly as wealthy as the Andrews or the Barrys-and so early with no prior warning, that she was truly going to hell, that everyone she cared about would hate her for the rest of her life. 

“Go explain this situation to the Cuthbert girl. I need a drink,” he lamented, closing the door with a bitter scowl. Just as soon as her father’s face was out of sight, Josie’s face fell out of its rigid stance into a melancholy frown.  
Alexander sighed at the look and wrapped an arm around her waist. She pulled herself closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder lightly.

“You and Anne are about the only people I really like right now,” she admitted, talking right into his shoulder. He understood it perfectly.

“Not Diana or Gilbert or Ruby?” 

Josie stood up straighter and looked him right in the eyes as she talked. 

“I appreciate them, and it’s silly because I know it’s my fault for not telling them, but you’re the only ones that have truly made a real effort to stand with me. Diana and Ruby have offered to betray their mothers to be friends, and I love that, I really do, but in the grand scheme of things, after I move away, they won’t be affected. Gilbert will be tied to Anne, but he isn’t close enough to me to make a difference. Anne, from day one, has fought by my side, sullied her own reputation with the town to defend me. She’s openly standing by me with this issue, not disobeying her mother under the cover of night and secretly mailed letters. She doesn’t care that she might be hurting herself, and neither do you. It’s what astounds me about your compassion.”

“It shouldn’t have to. I love you, Jo, and love is worth more than status.” He kissed her atop her head as she smiled. There was still the niggling feeling that he’d leave her if she couldn’t say the words to him. She knew for a concrete fact he would never be that kind of man, and yet...

“We should go on over to Anne’s,” she advised, leaning back into him casually and trying to change the subject. Thankfully, it worked. 

“Knowing them, we should probably knock. She and Gilbert are probably stress-snogging,” he snorted, shaking his head in mild amusement.

“Now that’s a picture I did not need in my head.” She made a face, scrunching up her nose in disgust. “Although I could maybe use some of that later,” she giggled and winked, but it was half-hearted, and he knew she wouldn’t be able to be completely joyful when she was worried about the town’s eyes on her. He knew she was trying her best to make light out of a completely terrible situation, so he stifled a frown.

“Who am I to say no?” he sighed, making a grand show of reluctant agreement, shrugging slightly and shaking his head. She drew him in for a short kiss which he readily accepted and tried to be distracted from the fear that came with possibility.  
____________________

Josie sat on her bed and opened the letters that had poured in for her, all from the girls she considered her friends. The first was labeled in Diana’s neat and nondescript cursive, spelling out her name with utmost care with a small love heart adjacent. __

_Dearest Josie,_

_When I heard Billy Andrews say those words in town square, the first thing that went through my mind was fear. Fear not for my own reputation, but for you, dear friend._

_I love you so, Josie. I’d never forsake you, and please know that I’ll stand by you through thick and thin. I can’t speak for the rest of my friends, but you have all my love._

_Unfortunately, Mother has gone into a fit of hysterics about propriety. She has forbid me from seeing you or my bosom friend ever again. As always, I will find a way out of these binds. Nothing can stop me from being on the right side._

_Love you dearly,  
Diana_

_P.S enclosed is a letter from Minnie May. She insisted._

_Deer Josee,_

_Mother says your bad, but i disagree. I agree with you, girls are pretty, but boys are icky. I don’t no why you like one. Shhh, don’t tell mother._

_Frum,  
Minnie May Barry_

She smiled bittersweetly at the loving girl’s supportive letter before moving onto Ruby’s. Ruby’s was splotched with smudged stains that could only be tears, knowing her emotional friend. __

__

__

__Lovely Josie,_ _

__Oh, my poor girl! I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you! Father thinks you’re un-Christian, Mother too , but I know you, Josie. You’re the epitome of a good friend, a sister. I could never agree with Father on a subject that only you can handle with grace._ _

__Write to me, Josie. Ours is a friendship that needs to last._ _

__I love you. You’ll endure. I just know you will._ _

__Love,  
Your Ruby _ _

__She had known before reading it that Ruby’s kind heart wouldn’t find fault, but the next one made her nervous. Tillie had old-fashioned sensibilities, and she and Jane were the ones preaching she had ‘loose morals’ during the debacle seven months ago. If they couldn’t stand by her on the matter of simple bodily autonomy, there was no guarantee they’d stand by her for something so complex. ____

___Dear Josie,_ _ _

___I don’t know what to make of this. On one hand, you were a true friend before that unfortunate mishap of yours. On the other, my heart is telling me that I have to adhere to good morals. My mother has forbade me from seeing you or Anne, and I fear I have to agree with her on her judgement. I too recommend that you reconsider your decision on this matter and revert back to the side of God, Josie. I know that we can go back to being the best friends we were with a little healthy change on your part._ _ _

___From,  
Tillie Boulter_ _ _

__Josie’s heart ached dearly with the loss of a friend, but boiled with anger at the word choice. Were they really so daft? If she had a choice, none of this would have happened in the first place! Tearing the paper up in a fit of rage, she dumped it on the floor and tore open the envelope of the one she was dreading most. The sister of the boy who had ruined her life time and time again. ____

___Josie Pye:_ _ _

___ _

___I can’t believe I ever considered you my best friend. I should have known the moment you and Anne became buddy-buddy over trying to backstab my brother that you were nothing but a liar, low-born girl with no sense of ethics._ _ _

___I stand by Billy’s judgement, even if he is but a stinky boy with two left feet. Even my mother, the head of the PMSC Avonlea, thinks you are ungodly. Please know that from henceforth, our friendship is annulled. I hope you find God, for your own sake, for until then, you are truly headed on a path to the darkest pits of hell._ _ _

___Where to start? Maybe late last May when you practically begged Billy for some marital sampling. I’m sure you and Lavender Lewis would get along splendidly. I should have adhered to my judgement and cut off ties with you right then. Unfortunately, Anne’s rubbish about abolishing the status quo got to everyone’s heads. She won me over at a point, but the moment she sided with your loose morals over my brother’s reputable standing was when it was terminated. Her article had some truths in it, but it’s nonsense to think that us ladies would want for anything but a rich husband and healthy children._ _ _

___But this really takes the cake, Josie. The Bible, God Himself would spit at you for this offense. It’s unheard of! A woman liking another woman! It’s simply unnatural! How would humanity’s main purpose-reproduction- continue? I have no other reason, no other words, to describe why it is wrong. It just is. The Bible proclaims it, and that’s what we should adhere to._ _ _

___You’ve always been rude, sarcastic, and just a poor girl pretending to be sophisticated. Do not reply to this. I don’t want to hear another word from you, you heretic floozy._ _ _

___Jane Andrews_ _ _

__By the end of the scathing attack on her, tears stung Josie’s eyes. She blinked them away, and threw Jane’s letter in the rubbish bin, taking out her own pen and paper. It was time she write to someone who’d give her proper guidance, someone who could remotely relate. ____

___Dear Cole,  
I know you probably weren’t expecting to hear from me ever considering how horribly I’ve treated you in the past, but I’ve found myself in quite a dilemma, and I’m in sore need of someone who can at least understand…._ _ _

__She paused as she formulated what to say, a tiny bubble of unwarranted and undeserved hope in her heart._ _


End file.
